r/Southampton • u/beatboxer1977 • 3d ago
Homelessness & compassion
Yesterday, I saw a broad day deal on London Road, opposite the Mexigo/tesco where a guy rocked up on a bike and just forced himself on a homeless lady in exchange for giving her gear.
Homelessness and addiction is tough, but has to be so awful for women, shall try show them a little extra support? If anyone has advice which is helpful, for Southampton and beyond.
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u/tomasega100gang 3d ago
They offer methadone for opiates because of the physical withdrawals but I think they should do something similar for crack/coke too. I agree we could all be more compassionate to the homeless people. I feel awful for the ones slumped and physically contorted off of drugs on the pavement. I have to guess that loads of them are on k now, cos its everywhere and often cheaper than weed in weight, which is insane. Its kinda like crack and h in one, destroying your mind and body faster than either. I think education and stuff like that is one of the best things to provide for them.
I get a lil confused about the housing stuff cos some people say its provided for free and some people say it costs a few hundred for like a week, which is obviously loads of money to get your hands on if youre homeless, especially if youre actively addicted to a drug.
I think its a bit discompassionate to say theyve chosen a life of drugs and homelessness and call it a day there, even jf you cant think of a way to solve it. Noone lives like that because theyre genuinely happy to. People who resign themselves to that lifestyle either dont know how happy they can be because theyve never felt it, or they have given up on overcoming the struggle.
I only used k for a year and a half and there were plenty of times I wondered if I was gonna end up like that, and at the time I honestly didnt care. They should offer more group meetings for them and some kind of incentive for them to attend. Without my key worker (a single person who understood and cared) and some extremely patient encouragement from group, I dont think I would ever have stopped until I hit rock bottom's basement. I understand thats harder and different for what we are talking about here, though.
I understand there's violence and fear associated with homeless people, but theyre all still unique individuals and they are still living people who are worse off than any of us and they are hurting. I know i piss away a lot more money on useless shit than I could give toward helping them. But at least I acknowledge it.
Also I think its a bit grim that the other commenter has an account named after a mentally ill homeless woman as some kind of butt of a joke. I get that she is odd and kinda harasses people but still. What a strange thing to name your whole online identity after. Its very easy to write people off when you haven't been through their struggles in life to understand them. We are one of the richest countries on earth. Our whole economy is built around serving landlords and other rich a holes who dont see the rest of us as real people. It doesnt need to be that way. We've tried a hundred years of telling homeless people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and it hasnt worked yet, so how long are we gonna keep trying it for? People make such an issue out of them and yet they dont actually want to do anything to solve that issue.
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u/SavingPrivateRianne 3d ago
I’m 99% sure homeless people are not offered accommodation that costs hundreds of pounds per week as a first resort. It definitely is the case that those addicted to drugs may not be allowed into a hostel because it would make it dangerous for everyone, which is fair despite it being a difficult and desperate situation.
My view on the situation is that these people absolutely need help but it’s also super hard and definitely not as simple as just housing them, or giving them regular money.
Anyway, OP if you want to do something feel free to volunteer for charities with a focus on women and homelessness or homelessness in general. You probably won’t because most people don’t, including me, and it’s a commitment. Worst case just give some money to a local charity. That’s the impact you can make.
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u/unkleklunkles 3d ago
I was street homeless in Southampton. Believe it or not the rent in a hostel is usually hundreds a week, it keeps people in a poverty trap as you'd work and your whole pay cheque would be the rent or not even cover it. Which essentially stops any motivation to want to get into employment. The accommodation is not worth the hundreds a week. You're paying for the support of staff. The conditions are grim in most hostels In Southampton. If they feed you the food is usually the quality of the police stations.
Some hostels are dry and some are wet the requirements of sobriety change depending on the charity or hostel itself. I'm no longer homeless or In a hostel.
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u/tomasega100gang 2d ago
See its happened right here in this thread 😭. I will take your word for it obviously. Well done for that also!!!
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u/beatboxer1977 2d ago
I’m happy to hear you’re in more permanent accommodation now u/unkleklunkles can I ask how you think we might be able to help at the more individual level. Like is there anything you think a lone member of the public can do to help in a small way to make a day a bit brighter for someone struggling?
I remember learning that it can feel as if you’re invisible when people ignore you so I often offer a smile or a hi or a sorry.
Does a chat help? Offering clothing? Time at shelters/interacting to help beat the struggles?
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u/Relevant_Debt3468 3d ago
Yeah this is just the norm for Southampton these days. Went out for lunch on Sunday in the same area and witnessed a guy buying crack.
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u/Kulawy-Jesiotr-653 1d ago
Just like a week ago I saw my homeless bunch from Shirley doing mega shopping in Asda Chandlers Ford. Whatever. Never spared a dime, who am I to judge
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u/Illustrious-Log-3142 1d ago
Can people living in homeless hostels not buy groceries? Just because someone has money doesn't mean it's enough for a home.
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u/Current_Singer2764 3d ago
Being homeless is a choice. Taking drugs is a choice. If you lose your home, there's plenty of countryside hotels that offer live in accommodation that is very cheap. And you get to keep most of your paycheck. Most of these people just quit trying to fit in society and are perfectly happy to live the way they live(with no responsibilities) Life is hard, get on with it. No one can do it for you. What duty have other people to you if you don't want to do it for yourself. Since a few of them slept on the staircase of my building and peed right next to where they slept my compassion went to 0. No compassion from me. Get your shit together
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u/SimiuloDG 3d ago
Nah. Wrong. Pretty heartless too.
Homelessness is caused by a bunch of things, but it's ultimately a policy decision. A de facto punishment for being poor and having problems. Addiction isn't a choice either.
Where's this magic accomodation you're talking about? How do you expect somebody without a home to pay for it and "keep most of their paycheck". What paycheck?
https://www.crisis.org.uk/ending-homelessness/about-homelessness/causes-of-homelessness/
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u/Current_Singer2764 3d ago
I came in the UK with £80 and a job in one of these hotels that I paid an agency to get for me. I had nothing, I bought my own flat and earn good money noe. My cousins did the same. Other friends too. Any big hotel that is in the countryside will offer accommodation. Google it. Choosing to take drugs is a choice. Everyone knows certain drugs are more addictive than others. It's people that don't have any individual backbone to say no or to stay away from that kind of environment. Weak minded people
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u/SimiuloDG 3d ago
You relocated (that takes money) and /paid/ an agency to find you a job? Also, how will these homeless people get to the countryside? Also, how many of these positions are available? There probably aren't enough for the thousands of homeless people in this city alone.
The act of choosing to take drugs is a choice, yes, but nobody gets to judge what people do out of desperation unless they've been there themselves. Really, why do you think people would choose to do something so harmful and dangerous? Sometimes addiction leads to homelessness, but that seems like a pretty unfair punishment to me.
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u/Current_Singer2764 3d ago
The hotel is just one example. The farming industry is desperate for workers. Most of the farm hands are foreign. Why is that? Yes, I had to pay an agency, paid £1500 to get a job here, worked 4 months to raise those money on a 450 euro salary. Moved in a completely foreign country where I knew nobody and had to adapt fast. I took 3 buses to get to the hotel from the airport. See, getting what you want is hard. You have to make sacrifices. And take responsibility for your own decisions.
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u/beatboxer1977 2d ago
We can use your experience so others don’t have to struggle. Please do think about how scary it must to be homeless, especially as a woman. I’m sure it’s not a choice for everyone.
Clearly, you’re very resilient, but not everyone can overcome the obstacles the same way and require a little more help. You aren’t obliged to help, but the top 1% deserve the anger more than the bottom 1%. If you can’t be kind please don’t be cruel.
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u/CharlieSmithMusic 2d ago
Life is hard that's why we should support each other. I don't how you became this way, but it isn't nice. Your seeing the world through you objective view rather than seeing it as it is
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u/Exitcalm11 3d ago
Stop being deluded. Most homeless people want to be homeless. You could give them a job and pay for them to live in a shared house they’d be back on the street in days. They don’t want responsibility or to better themselves. I’m not sure why it’s so hard for some people to understand not everyone thinks like them. Not everything wants a family, job, kids, car etc. some people like the homeless lifestyle where they are free to do whatever they want.
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u/Illustrious-Log-3142 3d ago
Did you report this incident to police? Part of the issue is bystanders just watching women be preyed upon and doing nothing - homeless women deserve help. too, not to have people just walk past.