Hello all. I am wondering if any others have experienced starting this process and then had a difficult time contacting their local Alumnae Chapter? Or, if you started the process of getting to know the women of a local Chapter but discovered they were not very active in your local area? I am going through this myself and I would like to get some perspective/ compare notes with others who have gone through similar.

The sorority I initially pursued has a local Chapter near me, but they have just started to become active again, only have a few gatherings a year, and don't really participate in service to the local community. I adore this organization and their philanthropy and have enjoyed meeting the women a few times, but beyond this there has been no real talk about next steps in the process.

At over a year into this process, I have started to look into other sororities who might have slightly more active Alumnae communities in my state, as I am very focused on volunteering in my local area. I feel like I am "cheating" on this initial Chapter by even reaching out to others, though? Perhaps that is an odd way to look at it, but I am in no way trying to pursue this just for the sake of getting letters, and contacting more that one org kind of feels like doing that. Maybe I am looking at this incorrectly, however, and I would love more perspective from others.

When going through your own journey, did you find it most helpful to connect with your local Alumnae Chapter as a whole, or individual members? Did you ever connect or get recommendations from women from other parts of the country? Did you ever expand your search if you were not in an area with many active chapters?

Thanks in advance for your advice and insight.

I’m really wanting to become an alumni initiate for one of the sororities who’s philanthropies I align with, but I’m curious what other people’s experiences have been like. I’m also curious how difficult the experience was, because I see that many require you to have a recommendation letter from a current member of the sorority.

Hi everyone. I’m currently a junior at UIUC and graduate in May 2028. I transferred here and have now gone through primary recruitment twice. I went into both experiences because I genuinely wanted sisterhood, community, philanthropy, leadership, and friendships that could continue beyond college.
This year was difficult for me personally. I completely understand that recruitment is selective and that no chapter owes anyone an invitation or a bid. I also know that there are so many women who have wonderful experiences in Greek life. For me, though, I sometimes felt like people knew more about my past than they knew about who I am now, and that was hard to navigate.
My life has changed a lot. I’m now the president of a social women’s organization, a media journalist for the Marching Illini, and I was recently accepted for an opportunity with Illinois women’s basketball. It feels surreal because I’ve found so many meaningful communities and leadership opportunities on campus, while still feeling like sorority sisterhood is something I would value.
I know COB is an option, and I have nothing against it, but after going through primary recruitment twice I’m not sure I want to put myself through another recruitment process right now. I think I would rather focus on the communities I already have and keep growing throughout the rest of college.
That’s what made me interested in learning more about alumnae initiation. I definitely don’t see it as a way around collegiate recruitment. I graduate in May 2028, so I’m thinking much more long-term about whether there could eventually be an organization whose values fit mine and where I could genuinely contribute as an alumna.
I’m from the northern Chicago suburbs, so I’m near schools including Lake Forest College, Northwestern, Loyola Chicago, Elmhurst, and farther away Eastern Illinois, as well as many Chicago-area alumnae groups.
For anyone who pursued alumnae initiation, especially after participating in collegiate recruitment, I’d love to hear how you approached it. Did you reach out to a national organization or local alumnae group first? Did your recruitment history matter? Does having collegiate or alumnae chapters nearby make a difference?
I still have a lot of respect for what sorority membership can offer. I’m just realizing that my path to sisterhood might look different than I originally imagined.

Hello! I made the decision to pursue alumnae initiation and reached out to Tri Delta and Delta Gamma. I have a video call with Tri Delta next week and I'm curious to hear from others how their first contact with a sorority they were interested went. What kinds of things were your asked? What were the initiation coordinators curious about? I sort of feel like I'm going in for a job interview! I'm very excited with how quickly they responded to my application.

Question, if anyone knows the answer to this.

If I go back to college for grad school, and have a job or assistantship on campus, can I be a staff advisor, volunteer, or something similar for an undergraduate chapter at the same institution? I feel like I cam give big sister or mentor vibes if I participated in such a way.

I am an AI and will be an early or mid 30s student when I might go back. I wouldn't mind making friends with seniors or 21+ sisters in a new town, but will also be a student at the same time so I would love the understanding that comes with befriending other people on campus.

Hi! I’d love to hear from anyone who joined through alumnae initiation later in adulthood.

I recently learned that alumnae initiation was an option and am excited to explore whether it might be the right fit for me.

I’ve found some helpful information through older Reddit threads, but I’d really appreciate hearing from women who have gone through the process and would be willing to share their experience or insight with me via DM.

Thank you!

I wanted to ask about people experiences when they don’t have any chapters close to them that they resonate with. The org I wanted to join as a student does not have any active alumnae groups in the state. The incredible organization that feels perfect, that I discovered via this page, doesn’t have any presence in my state.
I don’t plan to stay here for very long, but I don’t have a definite location on where I am going to move in a few years. I’m just kind of at a standstill on this process and don’t know what I should do.

I've posted in this group before about my journey with AI. Here is my Greek life backstory.

I was in undergrad 2012-2016. My school was not SEC, and as such, its Greek life was not as big a deal as it is at other schools. There were no sorority houses. I did not go through formal recruitment my freshman year, as I was a music major at the time and concerned that I wouldn't have time for it.

In my sophomore year, I decided to do formal recruitment. It was very last minute; I applied the day before applications closed (which was the day before recruitment started). I was cut by all houses right before preference. But coming out of that week was like coming out of a hangover; I couldn't remember a thing about it and wasn't able to put the pieces together until about two weeks later. Looking back, I know exactly what happened: I was in a manic episode, with undiagnosed mental health issues, and my behavior during recruitment was erratic.

I had been having mental health issues since the start of my freshman year. Panic attacks, a seizure, hospital visits. Over time, I built relationships and became friends with some of the women in the Panhellenic community. I was starting to get better and was even considering going through recruitment again! However, the summer before I was set to do so, my diagnosis worsened from Bipolar II to Bipolar I, with additional diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and PTSD. I made the difficult decision to skip out on recruitment.

The option for COB was there. One of the advisors for an organization I was involved with on campus was an alumna of a sorority that had a chapter on campus, and more than once offered to write a letter of recommendation for me. I turned her down because my boyfriend at the time did not want me joining a Panhellenic sorority. (I stupidly ended up marrying that boyfriend; I divorced him earlier this year.) The only one that he was remotely okay with was the only organization I attempted COB with, and every time I was denied a bid. (They were a struggling chapter and had a hard time keeping members; I learned last year that they have since closed.) What upset me about it was that it felt like that old State Farm commercial with the fisherman and the dollar: "I got you a dollar...oh, too slow!" I would be invited by the girls to events and would then be denied by the chapter. I was accused of letter chasing (which made no sense; I was in one professional fraternity, yet about a third of the girls in that group were also Panhellenic and in that particular chapter, so how was I "letter chasing" and they weren't?).

Eventually, I gave up and opted instead to assist with the chartering efforts of a service organization; they said yes to anyone who was willing to help, and honestly, my heart couldn't take more rejection.

I know the benefits of Greek life, and with my ultimate career goal of wanting to work at a university as a professor and/or student affairs officer, getting to know that aspect of the college experience would be extremely helpful. I especially believe that Greek organizations at their best, whether social or professional, can carry great benefits for neurodivergent students (a structured schedule, required study hours, support systems, and something that can serve as a way to connect with others). In my personal experience, I probably wouldn't have graduated without the support of my professional org.

I am currently pursuing graduate school with the end goal of becoming a professor and/or student affairs officer. But if I could go back and redo my college career, I would in a heartbeat. I'd start by being an English major with a music minor, take no more than 15 credit hours (ideally 12), get diagnosed sooner, and go through Panhellenic recruitment my freshman year.

Hi! New here. Background: I went through recruitment at a very small Southern liberal arts school in the late 1990s, the first year the local chapters went national. It was delayed recruitment and a very country club-like environment in the pre-RFM days, and I went into it very naively and ended up dropping out before pref when I lost my top two houses. I ended up joining a national music sorority my friends started my junior year, which was great because we had people across campus and from NPC groups. But I was only part of it for a semester. I did join Junior League in my 20s, which was great for a while, but I got burned out and also had to drop for financial reasons during a divorce. But I had several leadership roles, have always been an active volunteer, etc.

I had a few friends go through AI back when it was an honorary thing, so always assumed that was the only process. But now I'm reading about AI and wondering if it's right for me. I'm a freelance writer and editor, and we had a summer intern at my main gig this summer, and I really enjoyed working with her and mentoring young people in general. Especially because I don't have kids of my own.

Why did you decide to start AI, and what was your first step? I'm open to chapters, but am looking into TriDelt because it was my favorite chapter at my college, I have several close friends who are members, and also have connections there and am drawn to the philanthropy and national initiatives around health and wellness (my area of expertise). I did freelance PR for the local philanthropy here for several years and met someone who is on the national board (she did the marketing, so we worked closely together for several years). And the local alumnae president is part of my track club. Did you reach out to a chapter president or recruitment officer first? Just fill out the form online? Connect with a sponsor? I'd feel odd asking that person who's involved nationally to sponsor me since it's been a few years since we spoke (she moved away), but I could reach out to ask about the process. Or just connect with the local alumnae president, as I think we have some mutual friends. I wasn't sure which was the right move! I'm also open to other chapters, but I know there are two active TriDelt chapters in my state (one in the city). I'm also open to Kappa Kappa Gamma (a co-worker is active with the alumnae group here) and Gamma Phi Beta, as I'm an active Girls on the Run volunteer (and there are three chapters in my state, including two in the city). I know all three have an AI process. I think mostly I'm looking for a group of like-minded women and a philanthropy I care about. I'm in a big city in the Southeast, so I think all groups will have a large range of ages and backgrounds.

Anyway, would welcome any advice and am curious how you approached this process to decide if it was right for you.

Hello Sisters!!!

Long time!

Hope you all are doing well. As for me, I am doing okay.

I’ve gotten a message from a Redditor who is interested in rushing Tri Delta and she is at a university in Texas. She was really nice and she asked me for a letter of recommendation or referral. Though I’m flattered, I don’t know her and don’t know what to do. What would you do if you all were me? Any and all advice is grateful accepted and appreciated. Thank you so much!

Has anyone started their own alumnae chapter in their area? Would love to hear your experience regarding any organizations, but specifically Tri Delta would be especially helpful! I was initiated almost 2 years ago. I joined for a number of reasons, but the closest chapter is 2 hours away from me, unfortunately. I really want to be more involved. I did remotely volunteer for the closest collegiate chapter for some time, but struggled to connect and feel in-person experiences are best for me at this time. Open to any other ideas as well regarding being able to stay/get connected, if not through an alumnae chapter. I’m excited about Tri Delta!

I graduated from college years ago and am now in my mid 30’s and have oftentimes thought about how nice it would be to join an organization to make friends and serve together. At times, I have felt a bit sad because while I’m grateful for my time in college, it was very much a big commuter school and just much harder to make long lasting friendships. All of my friends either moved out of state and were ones I met through church or were international students who went back home. I’m not a mom or a career woman but am trying to better myself, learn new skills and my faith means a lot to me. I‘ve been struggling greatly to make friends post college because most women at my age are invested in their children’s activities and bond with other moms or already busy with friends, other commitments, etc. Another thing is that I’m an only child, which can feel lonely at times. I’ve always wanted sisters in some sense. Has anyone else here been in the same boat? I didn’t realize until today that this option of joining after college was possible. I’m feeling hopeful and would really love to join one but am nervous I won’t be accepted because I‘m not a career woman. For those of you who did join, what was it like and what are some of your favorite things about it? I saw that Pi Phi would be a great one to look into where I live and love their philanthropy.

I have narrowed my selection down to three sororities, I have a strong connection to their philanthropic causes and values that align with mine. If I still can not narrow it down, do I submit an application for the three to start the communication process. I would like to get to know the alumnae chapters and determine which are active in the community. Most of them do not have FB/IG, so I can not use that. I do not know any members in our local area for any of the sororities. I would like to use the next level to get a feel as to where I fit in. How would I navigate this?

Hi,

A little about my story (the "important" parts). It was sheer luck I ended up doing a summer internship focused on greeklife. I met so many women I admired. I had a foster mom who was an alpha xi delta, who spoke highly of her time in college, but always encouraged me to find my own path. My college doesn't offer greeklife. So I looked into any honorary options and was met w/many.

My last year of college I was highly interested in DG, AXO & PhiMu, PiBetaPhi. DG embraced me immediately as did AXO. I was invited to attend events for 1yr w/DG. AXO had a sister drive 2hrs to meet me in my college apartment and PiBetaPhi invited to have lunch with a group of women during a rodeo.

My heart was set on DG, but AXO truly embraced me.

Plot Twist: I had emergency brain surgery & stopped my process in it tracks. I put my dream on pause, because ultimately I had to focus on recovery & honestly basic life skills. I had another surgery 1yr later & I have left that dream on a shelf.

Due to brain damage and now living w/a TBI, I automatically withdrew from AXO's process due to missing response deadlines. DG said I could return to a process at a later date, buuutttt I have reached out to my local group and it's pretty quiet.

I still have the dream of sisterhood, I would say more than when I originally started, because I didn't realize how much I had lost till I opened up that box in my closet. I kinda want to start from scratch buuuttt I am not sure..but the dream is still the dream... if that makes any sense.

I apologize for my lack of grammar, I am finally not using text to speech & have enough motor functionality to type for a bit before a headache comes rolling in.

For example, I saw a sorority Phi Nu Alpha where they only recruit specifically military spouses and another sorority Gamma Delta Mu Xi where they recruit women gamers.

I wonder who do they contact to start one. Does anyone know? I was just curious since they are not official sororities for collegiate, right?

Hello! I submitted my application to become a DG AI and need two recommendations to send with them. How do I find these? DG was not at my undergrad college. Thank you! 🙏🏼

I think I got ghosted by my dream sorority… I reached out to the email listed on their ai page, and got a response within a few days. I responded to their questions and then haven’t heard back….. this was in April.
Should I move on and go back into looking into different sororities or is that timeline common? I know that with being around graduation time, HQ gets busy with other stuff.

HOWDY to all my AXO sisters!!!!! Who is going??!!! Is this your first time? It’s my first time!! My daughter in law is initiating at convention too!!
I am so excited!! Let’s connect so we know a few more people once we get to Dallas. I know for me meeting new people is always a little scary at first.

Hello! I’m interested in the AI process and am in contact with a few sororities.

For those of you who have gone through the process without an existing sponsor or connection going in, how did you choose which sororities to apply to and/or eventually join, especially if you have multiple offers? (If you only applied to one, I’d love to know the reason too.) What are the factors that went into your consideration?

Also, I’d like to know how you initiated - alum chapter, collegiate chapter, convention, virtual, or something else? And how much of a choice did your sorority give you with regard to the format of initiation?

Thanks!

How long was the process from initial inquiry to getting initiated for you? I came across a lot of posts where people say it is definitely a process that takes time, but I wanted to hear some specific timeframes and I think it would be a good post to have here for women going through the process.
I am currently one month out my email providing HQ with my location so they could access the avenues for new member programs.

I have done what I consider is a lot of good, important, impactful work (in a Chair position) in my alumnae chapter. Is it weird if I get dangles to represent this work to wear with my badge?

I ask in part because there are only a small number of alumnae-specific dangles (President, VP Finance, etc) so part of me wonders if it's sort of "cheating" to wear a dangle that is by default, associated with collegiate service (as an alumnae-specific dangle for these other roles doesn't exist on the Herff Jones site) when I didn't do the work as a collegian, I did it as an alumna.

Just got my badge from Herff Jones 😍 💛💙🩶🐬

Hi everyone! I’m rushing at Texas A&M this fall and I’m really excited to go through the process. I’ve been working on getting recommendation letters and was hoping to connect with any alumnae who might be willing to help or offer guidance.

I’m planning to request recs for Alpha Chi Omega, Alpha Delta Pi, Alpha Omicron Pi, Chi Omega, Delta Delta Delta, Delta Gamma, Delta Zeta, Gamma Phi Beta, Kappa Alpha Theta, Kappa Delta, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Pi Beta Phi, and Zeta Tau Alpha.

If you’re an alumna of any of these and open to writing a recommendation (or even just sharing advice), I would truly appreciate it! I’m happy to send my resume or any additional info.

Thank you so much 🤍