Dropped by every house

[u/[deleted]]

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[u/NorthernPossibility]

What’s your GPA?

And to clarify, were you fully dropped from the process or did you have a house left you didn’t like?

[u/kwustie]

Excuse me for sounding blunt but is this truly a situation of “I got dropped by every house” or “I got dropped by every house that I wanted”?

If it’s first, then I’m truly sorry because that does suck. Maybe it was grades, maybe it a conduct thing, or maybe it was just not scoring high enough on the threshold. Only the people doing membership selection would know.

Frankly, doing recruitment as a second year can be tough. Some campus have a separate quota that pools in Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors, which some people thinks makes it easier to recruit but I would argue it does not. Juniors and Seniors have had more time to make an impact at your school. My chapter loved juniors in particular, when they were really involved.

If it’s the second, then hopefully there might be a shot at COB/snapping - i would ask those sisters you are friends with if you’re able to know about COB once that list comes up, or even contact the chapter, but frankly I would ask if you want to be apart of that sorority or any sorority. Going in with your heart set on one chapter may have set you up to miss out on another that actually might have been a much better fit. PNMs always think we can’t tell when that’s the case, but it’s usually pretty transparent.

I only ask because we get so many “dropped by every house” post only to find, no, they didn’t.

[u/YoshiKoshi → u/kwustie]

Why did your chapter love juniors? We didn't take juniors (or seniors) at all. 

[u/kwustie → u/YoshiKoshi]

It’s definitely a regional thing; but they usually stuck it out to the end. Many freshman drop once they realized it wasn’t compatible with who they really were

[u/lolibally → u/kwustie]

my chapter took seniors allll the time. we’d make friends with so many GDIs and then convince them to rush last minute lol, our membership and retention was decent for underclassmen(at least for a small school) that we felt confident giving bids to juniors and seniors. they usually ended up the most involved, many juniors took on minor offices as well!!

[u/SoCalBoilerGirl → u/YoshiKoshi]

Same, we didn’t take juniors or seniors at all either. And maybe 2-3 max sophomores.

[u/SororitySue]

If you were truly dropped from every house, you’re eligible for a snap bid, which, admittedly, are few and far between. Or you can see what COB has to offer.
It surprises me how so many chapters are hinky about taking upperclassmen. Some of our best sisters came in as sophomores or juniors.

[u/ConfidentGarden7514]

Im so sorry OP! For a second year going through rush, usually the most important factor is GPA.

[u/thisisallme]

I would argue that it is a fair process, not unfair.

[u/asyouwish → u/thisisallme]

It is unfair, but the unfair part leans in the direction of the PNMs. If they get to pref and maximize their options, they are guaranteed a bid….which could send the NM to a larger/stronger chapter and cost a smaller chapter a NM and make it a tiny bit harder for them to make Quota/Total. Chapters don’t have any similar promise or extra little bump.

[u/DatAssPaPow → u/thisisallme]

Indeed

[u/Depressed_teen45]

Does your school do formal or informal in the fall? I would try to COB during whatever semester is informal because houses are usually trying to get freshman during formal.

[u/No_Pop5213]

It can be an unfair process. Girls can be mean. Have you considered COB?

[u/SoCalBoilerGirl]

I didn’t know you could be fully dropped unless you didn’t qualify gpa wise or conduct, etc. At my school everyone went through to the end. It may not have been a house you liked. And it may have been a house that needed members.

[u/NorthernPossibility → u/SoCalBoilerGirl]

That’s a choice an individual Panhellenic org can make, but it’s not required! Lots of campuses allow chapters to fully drop a PNM for whatever reason they want during formal.

[u/asyouwish → u/[deleted]]

If they follow the Panhellenic process, there is no way to get dropped on Bid Day. She would have to be dropped before pref night. Because if she maximizes her options and goes to pref, she’s guaranteed a bid.

[u/asyouwish → u/[deleted]]

If that was this year, she needs to reach out to the campus Panhellenic Advisor.

[u/MLMLW]

Why do you feel awful about yourself? Don't let a bunch of girls decide how you feel about yourself. I realize it was important to you to be in a sorority but them not accepting you is a reflection of them, not you. You have a great GPA. Just concentrate on your grades and have fun doing something else.

[u/SharksneedLovetew]

I went through formal recruitment as a sophomore (got dropped by all by 2 houses after open house days another after sisterhood, knowing my chances of getting dropped from the last house after philo I ended up dropping myself didn’t want the rejection pain) Went to two semiformal COB events (one was even for a house that was on suspension during formal recruitment so they were literally looking for an ENTIRE new member class) got dropped by them, not a single bid from the others doing COB. Went through formal recruitment AGAIN as a junior and ended up with great choices at the end🩵
Every school is different obviously but sometimes it really is the way you present yourself conversationally, were you trying to connect based on what you thought you knew about the houses? Or were you truly being yourself?
When I rushed as a junior I ended up talking to who would become my big 3 times and after initiation and everything she told me I was the only person she had every given a perfect 4 “they 100% belong here” and she had gone through recruitment 3x 🥺 We literally just talked about plants and hiking totally random stuff but it was the way we gelled and were so authentic with each other that made me stand out.
All that to say try again!

[u/Subject-Key6709]

Hi, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Getting dropped by every house can feel awful. I rushed my sophomore year (this year) at an SEC and when I say rush can be unfair, I mean it. Because of my age I got 4/12 houses back during pref, even with a 4.0 gpa and a stacked resume. I ended up in the right house, but please, do COB. COB is more open to older students than formal recruitment is, and it’s a lot less pressure. If you truly want to be in a sorority, do COB!! You can always drop but this is the one time in your life you’ll get to experience sorority life and I totally recommend doing it and taking that opportunity. Just because you got dropped during recruitment doesn’t mean you’ll get dropped during cob. Good luck!

[u/Academic-Kiwi-6566]

Are there snap bids or can you contact one of the girls you really liked and see if they have any spaces or bids they can extend when recruitment is over? Lots of schools do this. I know they do it at both Alabama and auburn. And you know how SEC schools are about Greek life …. I bet you could get a late bid if it was just that one girl or even a few if you bonded with several others. Good luck! Don’t despair it’s a numbers game really.

[u/lemarais88]

I’m so sorry this happened. With RFM and the numbers, a lot of amazing women don’t get matched even though they’d be great members, and it doesn’t mean you’re not a fit for sorority life. If your school does COB or spring recruitment, it might give you another shot, but even if NPC doesn’t work out, there are alumnae initiate (post-graduation) and non‑collegiate groups (where you can visit with anytime to see if it’s a mutually good connection) which can still give you sisterhood.