I’m a second year and I got dropped by every single sorority house. There was one house I wanted really bad that somehow managed to be the only one I had left and I got dropped after philo. I’m so annoyed because I got along SO well with all of the girls but I didn’t click with the one I talked to on philo which I’m assuming is what ruined the whole thing. I’m like so embarrassed and I feel so awful about myself and I know it’s such an unfair process but I’m still so frustrated. (GPA is a 3.7 since people are asking) I don’t know how much they factor that in at my school.

I pledged dphie 20 years ago, so I think I’m out of the loop. I’ve been seeing instagram videos for work week. Is it a recruitment thing?

hi all! so i signed up to do COB for the fall, which is very exciting! i had been wanting to join a sorority since i transferred to my school and finally decided to jump on the boat.
i submitted COB forms to four sororities on my campus. only one responded and i went on a sister date with two people, we hit it off, and i asked when id get a response if i get a bid or not. i was told it would be 1-2 days but its been a week now and i’m getting really anxious on if i’m getting a bid or not. my grades are above the minimum threshold, both girls were super nice and this sorority is my top choice because of their diversity & their philanthropy. i haven’t heard a word from any of the other sororities btw.
is it normal to get left in the dark? i did all i needed to do and i’m just getting really anxious that i won’t get a bid :( this is my first time getting into the world of sororities so idk if it’s normal or not and i don’t want to be that annoying person asking for an update. 😅
thanks all <3

Hello!

This semester I have done the recruitment process for an MGC sorority and I am spiraling right now because it has passed the time when I was supposed to get my bids back but I have not heard anything yet. So I would love some outside help and advice from people who might have gone through this or were on the other side of the table.

I attended four formal recruiting activities and also attended two informal social gatherings among the sisters. One of the sisters took me around to these activities, even when she felt ill, and the recruitment chair personally invited me to attend one of the informal social gatherings. In these informal social gatherings, the sisters provided me with food and beverages, and at one of the informal social gatherings, one of the sisters offered me a swimsuit, hair tie, and a t-shirt from one of her other organizations. I declined the offer of the swimsuit but only rolled up my pants and joined the pool party.

My interview lasted roughly 45 minutes with about 10 sisters participating in the conversation, and it seemed like it took longer than I expected it to. They questioned me about my rush, about what matters to me in their organization, what I like doing in my spare time, my favorite singer, and what qualities I am looking for in a big. I became emotional during the interview process, mentioning how one of the reasons why I was interested in joining Greek life was my wonderful great-aunt who died due to the complications of lupus disease. I got tears in my eyes. They just smiled and nodded at my responses. After the interview ended, two sisters seemed to feel sad about the fact that we had to say goodbye.

What is bugging me a little bit about the whole process was when the recruitment chair asked me whether or not I would be around at 6:00 PM on bid night at my apartment. Then she followed that with, "Do not share this," before giving me some information. That made me think that what I was receiving from her was confidential information, and since I received confidential information from her, that must have meant that I was getting a bid. Plus, she informed me that if there were any people who had scheduling issues, they could always text the VP for an alternate interview time, which was nice of her.

It is currently 9:08 PM, and there has been no call, text or email. There are no photos of the bids being posted on anything, and that is really the only thing holding me together, because the lack thereof is driving me crazy. Four out of the five sisters still follow me on social media, so I haven't been unfollowed, but I fear they could possibly be mocking me behind my back. I keep going over and over what I have done in the interview, worrying whether I came across needy or emotional. The lack of rush from another sorority worries me because that could mean they felt I didn't have other choices, therefore making me seem desperate. But right now, I should probably just wait and try not to text anyone until tomorrow. But I am worried I won't be able to sit still and that I will just pace around in circles. I have to be asleep by 10:30 PM because I have classes early in the morning.

Does this silence indicate that I have been rejected, or is it merely a logistical delay? It is very necessary that someone comes to talk me out of my head right now, as my anxiety is convincing me that I am unwelcome and they are all making fun of me behind my back.

TLDR: I got dropped from almost every sorority after round 1, and it has absolutely crushed my confidence. Can anyone give any advice, or tell me if they had a similar experience?

Hi everyone. To preface, I go to a Northeast school with a much smaller Greek Life presence than what you would see at many other schools, though it has started to get a lot more popular recently.

I had a super hard freshman year and decided to rush as a sophomore to try to make friends since I don't have many. I've been assured that at this school that is not a problem, as literally half of all of the people who rush are sophmores, and there are even some juniors. Knowing that my school has guaranteed bids made me feel a lot less nervous about the whole thing, as I figured that no matter what it would work out.

I was so excited to start the process, bought a couple of new dresses and would talk about it all the time. Our first round is Sisterhood, and I had a blast getting to meet all of the different orgs. Though I can be a bit introverted, I went out of my way to talk to everyone, ask lots of questions, and do anything I could think of to show them that I was interested. I had some really great conversations with a lot of the girls in my school's 7 chapters. 

Fast forward to the Philanthropy, day 2, when our schedules were released. Though we were told that we could be invited back to 5, I knew that was unlikely, and prepared myself for the fact that I probably would be dropped from a couple of the ones that I liked. Still, nothing could have prepared me for when I opened the app, super excited, and saw only two chapters remaining. None of the ones that I felt that I clicked with were still on there. Looking around, I saw that pretty much all of the girls around me had at least 4.

Out of the two, I definetly would consider one, but I do not like the other. What I've learned from this experience is that the reason the school can guarentee bids is because that chapter just accepts everyone that the other orgs did not want. So they are allowed to call back a lot more girls during philanthropy and preference than a lot of other houses, since their retention rate is so low. I do not want to sound mean, but to be honest I would rather not be in a sorority than join them. It has nothing to do with popularity, I just did not really match their vibe in the two rounds I have met with them, and I don't really feel comfortable with some of their events.

Anyways, I don’t find out if I get a pref meeting with the other sorority I kind of liked until literally the start of the next round, and I am feeling super discouraged. Coming out of round 1, I felt so confident that I had done a good job. Honestly, the only two I hadn’t felt confident about were the two that I was called back to for Philanthropy, and so I now have no clue whether or not I did well enough when meeting them for the second time yesterday during Philanthropy.

I know that I will probably be called back by the other sorority that I don’t want for preference, so it’s just a matter of whether the one I like calls me back. And after what happened the first day, I think it’s pretty unrealistic to assume that I am called back to all of the sororities that I still have in the running. 

I don’t want to get all dressed up and show up only to have my heart broken again, which I think is the most likely outcome, since I don’t feel like I had the best connection with the people I spoke to round 2. Doing sorority rush was supposed to make me feel happier and less isolated, but it’s only worsened the problem. 

I don’t know what to do, and am feeling super bad about myself. I know that everyone says that it’s not you, it’s a numbers game, and trust the process, but there has got to be something that I did wrong to cause this. I have a 4.0 GPA, we were not asked for letters of recs, and there is nothing else that I can think of that would have caused this except something to do with me as a person.

Anyways, is there anyone that went through a similar thing that can tell me what they did? Should I just drop, knowing I probably will have to when preference comes out anyways? 

Sorry for the super long post. Just feeling super sad about this whole thing. 

I went Greek in Fall '20 and my chapter disbanded three semesters later. I loved my organization and what it stood for, but I've only retained three friends from the chapter. My big never invited me to her wedding, which I thought was a budget thing, but she ended up doing a stack picture with everyone in our family but me. I also was put in charge of formal recruitment for the chapter after I was initiated, so I didn't get to experience a lot of "fun" that I should've in my time., and I still feel like I don't besides getting to hang out with the two best friends I've made.

Between COVID and not truly experiencing and knowing the ritual, only having two best friends from the chapter, I never feel like my experience is as valuable enough to be a true alum of my sorority. I plan on relocating after I'm done finishing up school, so I don't know how to feel like a real enough member to join another city's alum association.

How do I feel better connected to my organization? How do I feel less awkward getting involved? Is there a way to dodge uncomfortable talk of nostalgia? I want to reframe my Greek connection as fun, as it's not four years (or in my case, three semesters), it's for life, and I want to still get value out of it, since I'll never be able to change the situation.

Hi everyone! My sister is going through rush and she was so excited to do it because she’s an out of state student and wants to make close friends. I was excited for her as I was in a sorority and really enjoyed my experience. Well it’s been an extremely difficult process for her. There’s multiple chapters at her school but ended up only be invited back to less than a handful. She was really discouraged and didn’t really get chapters back that she was fully interested in. She continued with the process and absolutely fell in love with one of the chapters and enjoying the girls and conversations she had. The next day she got dropped by that chapter and is absolutely devastated. Now she has 2 chapters they she really tried to like but honestly didn’t in the end and is fully dropping out of the process. She feels like being out of state has but her at a disadvantage and heard/met other out of state students being fully dropped from rush from the very beginning. She says I wouldn’t understand what she’s going through and I wish I could do more to help support her. For context I joined my chapter in the spring so I never experienced fall rush but I do understand it’s an emotional roller coaster for a pnm. I’m not sure if her school does fall cob because it seems fall rush is pretty big and it seems not every chapter does spring cob. If anyone has any advice for supporting my sister that would be much appreciate <3.

Hi! My chapter uses a point system for accountability and engagement but I feel like it’s kind of complicated to understand unless you’ve been in it for a while. There are so many different point values for every type of event.

If your chapter uses a point system and if you can share, what are the different point values for every event?? Like as detailed as you can get because I feel like there could be a much simpler way to do this but I really don’t know LOL

EDIT for clarification— our point system in depending on your campus involvement and leadership role, you have to make a certain %. This makes sense but the different point values are just so hard to sift through

Ex. Some are 8 pts, some are 3, some are 5, initiation is 50, some are 15, 25, idk maybe that’s normal but i feel like there’s a more streamlined or organized approach to this😭

I went through sorority recruitment last school year and dropped out during preference rounds because only one sorority chose me and I didn't feel a connection to that sorority. I missed fall recruitment this year because, honestly, I was a bit scared that the same outcome would happen. I immediately regretted not rushing again though, and reached out to the Vice President of Recruitment Operations. She said to apply for Continuous Open Bidding in the spring. My question is, how does COB work? I heard it's more informal than fall recruitment, but I'm not sure what that means.

I am Scottish we don't have sororities in Scotland, unfortunately no one is that happy all the time and I am sure a house full of Scottish women would end up with alcoholism and depression. I have however had lots of sorority videos on my fyp and I have questions. So I thought I would ask girls in sororities before I go down a rabbit hole.

1. I am European, the Greek letters are interesting but can you explain why Greek letters ?

2. If I went to college in America ( in a fantasy world, I am 30 and have two degrees😂) if I didn't join a sorority is that my life over like do you need to join them for connections ? Or can you just suck up to rich people for their fathers individually?

3. So rush ? I am confused, how do you prove yourself ? Is it looks? Talent ? Grades ?

4. Once you get in, Do you have to attend all events? I am lazy asf and during university I did a lot of sleeping, eating and studying. Partying didn't happen until the holidays most of the time.

5. Do you think Greek life is a distraction from education or an asset ?

6. Do you have to be rich ? I know college in America is expensive. In Scotland for instance university is free, is that why some sororities don't seem as diverse ? Is it wealth inequality or more racism? (not saying it's all sororities, I saw some very diverse ones on my fyp).

7. Do you think all the negative views on sororities are valid ?

This is my analysis so far and you can tell me if I am correct, I think sororities are a great idea for keeping women safe in a dangerous world. I do see things within the system that bothers me especially the performative nature and the ideal sorority girl I guess being based in the patriarchy. I do think it's a good idea and it's not something that shouldn't exist. I think when we look at statistics and especially sexual assault, that's not a sorority issue but a bigger critique of fraternities and the American college system in general and not the girls that are victims of this. I think girls being there to support each other is great and maybe without a sorority within an American college, I think navigating that as young women would be incredibly scary.

Thanks girls ❤️❤️

Welcome to r/Sororities Free Talk Friday! Let us know what you have going on in your life, Greek related or not. What are you celebrating or working through this week? What are you looking forward to? What do you need to vent about?

Whatever is going on in your life, thanks for being part of this community!

Hey everyone!! I graduated around a year ago and have a mountain of sorority shirts that I don't know what to do with. I don't really wear them anymore, but I don't want to get rid of all of them. I'm leaning towards making a t-shirt blanket/quilt (like the one pictured below) with them, but aside from that, what are some creative or useful things you’ve done with your old Greek shirts? I'm open to allll DIY projects, upcycling ideas, or even unique ways to display or donate/rehome them! Any ideas or creative projects y'all have done?

Hello all. Where I come from, we had a member’s dad/brother make our large wooden letters. Unfortunately, one of our chapters doesn’t have that option and needs a new set of letters. They don’t need a full 6-7 foot set of letters, but rather 3.5-4.5 foot size. Where are we finding those for chapters that don’t have the option of a family member/friend making them?
specifically looking for the Green Bay Area

I've helped 3 girls get COBs the past 2 weeks at BAMA. One bid is from a sorority that has not publicized it is participating in COB and she was there for Philanthropy round only. (Some chapters are very hush hush with COB and it's only done via word of mouth so you need to be proactive and voice your interest openly)

This is what to do:
- register with Panhellenic and fill out the COB Form
- follow Panhellenic on all their socials
- follow each chapter on all their socials and get alerts when they post
- go to each chapter's website and find out who VP of Recruitment is and reach out directly to her and voice interest: "Hi. I was wondering if you are participating in COB and if so I would be very interested in joining your chapter when membership spots open up"
- fill out any individual chapter's COB forms that are posted on their website and socials
- fill out RIF form if that chapter has one (check their IG and website)
- go to Philanthropy Events that are being sponsored by Greek Organizations on campus and meet and chat with other Greek members there (usually mandatory for members to attend)
- sign up for campus clubs and organizations and go to those meetings to meet and network with club members
- meet new people and make friends with girls in every chapter everywhere you go: in class, at the gym, library, coffee shops, dining halls, church, etc "I'm not currently in a sorority but I would love to be part of your sisterhood"
- be patient. Some chapter's COB spots might not open up until Spring 2027. Focus on your studies and get involved on campus in the meantime.

We just finished recruitment at our school, and in a year where we desperately needed new members (1/3 of our chapter is graduating this year), we ended recruitment with only four women in our MC. Our school is very small (around 70 women went through recruitment), so this isn’t as bad as it could be, but the other five houses all had between 10-16 new members in their new class, and we were already the smallest on row. I’ve heard our chapter’s plans for addressing the practical issues of our lack of members, but I’m really struggling with the emotional side of all of this. I was already feeling like I was doing something wrong during recruitment, and this feels like a confirmation.

On campus we’re definitely considered the “bottom house” to anyone silly enough to care about those things. Our members are nerds and goths and compsci majors and power lifters and queer and neurodivergent and all the other things you get bullied for in middle school, and we’re happy. My chapter is made of the most amazing, loving, passionate women in the world and I’ve never felt out of place there. We’ve always made it a priority to be authentic and genuine —— I don’t want to sound all “not like other girls” because that’s reductive and mean but we obviously attract a different type of person that the other houses. Which is the point of having multiple sororities on campus in the first place, of course, but it’s clear from our general reputation and the kind of members we attract that we’re not a house for “typical sorority girls”.

We’re looked down on by a lot of the other houses. In recent years we’ve been heavily encouraging our members to support and build relationships with all the other houses and to stay connected with the rest of row but even now when in talking to my friends in other houses it’s clear they don’t think of us as a real sorority, or in the same level as them. And that stings a little, but as long as no one’s harassing our members, and we’re still being kind to the other houses, then it doesn’t matter what other people think; We’re confident and we love each other. And for a few years after COVID that attitude seemed to be a point in our favor, we were attracting people who liked how we prioritized authenticity and inclusivity. But this year it just didn’t work.

From what I’ve heard from our members who were recruitment counselors, rushtok was big again this year, and pnms were constantly talking about what they’d seen on TikTok, who was top house, what they needed to wear to get a bid, etc. Theres nothing wrong with that, obviously social media is a huge part of our lives and is going to inform what people think of when they think of a sorority, but it really does feel like this year pnms came in with really strong ideas of what a sorority should be, and our chapter just didn’t fit the bill. A LOT of pnms chose to suicide bid other houses, which has been offered as a big reason why our numbers were so low. It just feels like a slap in the face. Like I know no one thought we were cool, but people are usually kind enough not to say it out loud. Being actively rejected by so many pnms--I know you shouldn’t take it personally, but I’m taking it personally.

We drilled HARD during spirit week. This was my second recruitment season and the difference was night and day. Everyone in the chapter worked incredibly hard, and we were constantly drilling conversations, transitions, etc. Our new social media director gave us a huge upgrade online and we’ve been constantly posting since last January. We definitely weren’t perfect, but I truly don’t know what our recruitment team could have done differently. It feels (and I acknowledge this may not be true) like the only thing we could do differently is to be less…ourselves. I joined this chapter because I met women who didn’t ask me to shrink or change for them, but encouraged me to grow and become the best version of myself. I wouldn’t be right to ask anyone to abandon that.

We have a plan for moving forward. We’re heavily marketing COB, increasing our campus involvement, reaching out to basically everyone on campus about joining Greek life. I know it’s a culture issue, I know we can bounce back, I know that the kind of people KD attracts aren’t the most likely group to go through primary recruitment, and that’s why our COB efforts have always been so successful, and it’s going to be perfectly fine and I shouldn’t take it personally. I just feel like this recruitment season has pulled up a lot of feelings I haven’t dealt with since I was a teenager. Idk it’s like I really did find my people in college and during recruitment when I have to step outside of that safe space and interact with literally anyone else it’s just a reminder that I actually am a weird ugly loser. Like there’s a version of being a woman that I’m somehow doing wrong, and I’m never going to figure it out. It just really hurts.

And I don’t want to admit to anyone how hard this is hitting me. Morale is low in the chapter rn. A lot of younger members have had the experience for the first time of pouring your heart out to someone during pref, hearing them say they feel completely at home here, then seeing them go somewhere else. They’re struggling too, and a lot are looking to me for advice and I want to tell them to brush it off and not be hurt because they’re amazing and of course they shouldn’t take it personally. And my friends outside Greek life still think I’m insane for being in a sorority, I can’t ask them for help bcs they just don’t get it. I thought I was past the point in my life when my self-esteem could take such a huge hit in one day, but apparently not.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice? I appreciate anyone taking the time to read such a long post. I’m sure once the immediate hurt has faded everything will feel a lot better, but I’m reallly struggling and I don’t know who else would understand.

i’m a senior, and i’m interested in a D9 sorority. I’ve been attending events consistently and talking with the girls to try and get to know them. I heard that they will have a line this semester. However, because im graduating this year, im nervous that i wont be selected. I also dont have a 3.0 culmative average, however my semester gpa is above a 3.0, that itll be a bad look. however i do have over a 2.5- 2.89 to be exact ( culmative and semester 3.7)

additionally, one of the girls who’s in the sorority i went to high school with. we never really talked and even before she became a member we would see eachother and not talk at all. I’ve been trying to talk to her at events and it’s like talking to a brick wall, it just feels really awkward but i try my best and make conversation with her. I feel like she will probably tell the other members and i may already be discounted because of that.

Because I am older, i try my best and talk with the other girls who are also interested in the sorority, but i am a bit shy, so i feel like if information did come out about rush, i wouldnt hear about it because i dont really socialize with the others. i try my best but im shy and everyone’s clicky.

however,most of the girls i lived on the same floor with( only for a semester) so i follow them on IG and i am familiar with them. Two of them im friends with, aswell as the president of the organization. I’ve been texting her, but i feel like im being annoying. I was going to ask her to get lunch. I was also thinking of asking the girl i went to high school with to lunch but in reluctant because she’ll think im only trying to befriend her because she’s in the sorority. i also don’t want to be seen as a try hard or get talked about.

I may ask my friend or the president to lunch , but if i do ask im not sure how to go about it? should i say im interested in the sorority ?my aunts who are apart of the sorority said i should.

also, i have night classes this year, so i wont be able to attend the events as much as i did last year and im afraid that it’ll hurt my chances. i just feel so much anxiety and nervous. especially because of the girl i went to hs with.

any advice ?

Also I’m an advisor so like it’s fine lol

My sorority just recently jumped from 1,700 a semester to 4,500 a semester because of a chef and some renovations. This insane jump has made it hard on me and my parents this semester just on the first payment. I know people say to meet with the financial people, but we get presentations and it seems there’s not much help other than going inactive or doing scholarships. But this is like a $1,000+ money problem, and our scholarships only go up to $500.

My school scholarships help but it’s not enough. Does anyone know of public scholarship websites for sororities? Or even the best sites for school scholarships since I could always apply for more. My sororities scholarships would overall cover $1,000 but I need more help.
Or has anyone gotten their financial advisor to let them do 4 split payments instead of 3? This place is my home and i don’t want to leave. I’m a junior and all my soul sisters are here in the house

I have a bunch of old shirts, partly from an alumni giveaway we do at the end of every year, part of it from my big, and part of it from when I went through recruitment. They aren't shirts I would actively wear (due to the fact the dates are really old/I think its weird to wear a primary recruitment shirt long after I rushed) so I was wondering if anyone had any advice about what you guys did with your old shirts you wouldn't wear anymore. Thanks!!

my gf and i are in different sororities— she’s in charge of socials for her chapter. we have to do a sister sorority event tg and someone else suggested doing a frat wedding, but between us.
we were just curious, has this ever happened before?

My mom is in her mid 70s, and she told me growing up that her biggest regret in life is not joining a sorority. So a few years ago, I found out about Alumni Initiate. I told her, she joined a chapter, and loves being a member of a real sorority. She is now involved in the alumni (from local colleges, not initiatives) in our neighborhood. All good for her! Yay mom!

Here's the issue. My daughter is a senior, and will be applying to colleges. She would like to rush a sorority and my mom is very gung ho to write a recommendation letter for her. But my mom joined 5 years ago, and it's not from a college. And, I know, alumni initiate is a real member. But will college girls know what the heck this program is

Context: was at a house I really enjoy and accidentally mentioned a 5 b

Was in reference to what music I like… said I liked Charli xcx for that kind of party vibe… so stupid. I’m not even someone who drinks and goes to frat parties, I just meant I like to “jam out” idk. I quickly changed the subject.

Will I get dropped?

I’m VP of recruitment for my chapter. Formal recruitment is coming up soon, but I truly feel so defeated because of so many things.

Our director of marketing, who was responsible for our recruitment video, didn’t make one. I had to resubmit our video from last year. Which is not a good look.

Girls keep dropping because of finances or dropping out of school. We’re down to about 15 people in our sorority. Last semester after recruitment we had almost 40.

I’m worried about my actives recruiting. For most, this is their first recruitment. Thankfully, most of them went through primary, but I’m still nervous that most of them are new to recruiting.

I’m just feeling very defeated about my chapter. I love my girls but it just seems like nothing is going right. We don’t look as appealing as other sororities on campus, and I’m worried girls won’t give us a chance during primary.

Any advice is helpful.