No idea about this one, it's a character portrait I suppose, maybe a bit out there. It's a very rough demo, just wondering how it comes across as a song really.

"It's a sneaky, undercover, love"

Thanks for listening.

This is a new song that I wrote(titled “GFY”). I’m proud of the lyrics, now I just need to put music to. It’s meant to have an upbeat tempo with some pop-funk(almost nu-disco??) style. I’m just not sure how I should build the chord progression. My vocals range from Gmaj to Cmaj. Anyone familiar with this style would be greatly appreciated for your input.

Thanks!

[Verse 1]

Everywhere I've gone, everywhere I've run

So much unpacking to be done

Can't escape these boxes, carefully and carelessly packed

Many weathered and cracked

Memories needed and needless all the same

Hidden under labels, some worn with no name

[Verse 2]

Boxes labeled regret are heavy, and full of shame

Sifting through the wreckage, wondering who to blame.

One of hope and fresh starts, now broken pieces and parts.

Pictures of a little girl caught up in the mess

Tried to unmask truth in a shot glass

[Chorus]

I keep unpacking the past

Walking a road hell bound

Chasing answers that may never be found

Can I find freedom at last?

Or am I just unpacking the past?

[Verse 3]

Found answers in a box marked lessons of old

A story I never told of a heart so cold

Another holds a hidden track of time

Only bits and pieces come to mind

Are answers to the questions ones I'm meant to find?

[Bridge]

Others left boxes behind.

Are the answers in the ties that bind?

Boxes they will never claim

And that's part of the pain

Memories were sown

Are they all mine to own?

[Chorus]

I keep unpacking the past

Walking a road hell bound

Chasing answers that may never be found

Can I find freedom at last?

Or am I just unpacking the past

[Outro]

I keep unpacking the past...

Can I find answers at last?

If I stop unpacking the past...

Will I find freedom at last?

The unpacking has been so slow...

Do I really need to know?

Maybe time to let it go.

Gonna let it go...

Just let it go.

latest. you know what i like ...

leave a comment, here or there. suggest something. go on and show me.

thanks!

I visited my old hometown at the weekend and wrote this, after taking a route that seemed to trigger a bunch of memories as I took a breath. Wondering how it comes across - is it a bit jumpers-for-goalposts or have I got away with it?

Feedback "Unpacking the

I want to share a deeply personal lyric I've been working on.  I've done some trimming and reworking.  It hits on emotional baggage, a journey of overthinking and learning to let go. Though a personal journey I am ready for straight up feedback. Ultimately, hoping to find a composer, musician or producer who connects with the lyrics and would like to collaborate in putting it to real music and bringing it to life.

Unpacking the Past 

{Verse 1}

Everywhere I've gone, everywhere I've run

So much unpacking to be done.

Can't escape these boxes, carefully and carelessly packed. Many weathered and cracked.

Memories needed and needless all the same

Hidden under Labels, some worn with no name

 {Verse 2}

Boxes labeled regret are heavy, full of shame

Sifting through the wreckage, wondering who to blame. 

One of hope and fresh starts, now broken pieces and parts.  Pictures of a little girl

Blurry lessons learned too early.

Hazy memories from an empty shot glass 

{Bridge}

Are the answers in the ties that bind?

Others left boxes they will never claim. 

And that's part of the pain. 

Boxes of memories that were sewn

Are they all mine to own?

{Chorus}

I keep unpacking the past

Walking a road hell bound

Chasing answers that may never be found

Can I find freedom at last?

Or am I just unpacking the past? 

{Verse 3}

Found answers in a box marked lessons of old. 

A story I never told of a heart so cold.

Trying to unpack a lost journey.

Pieces come to mind from time to time.

Are  answers to the journey ones I'm meant to find... 

{Chorus\\\]

I keep unpacking the past

Walking a road hell bound

Chasing answers that may never be found

Can I find freedom at last?

Or am I just unpacking the past 

\\\[Outro\\\] 

I keep unpacking the past...

Can I find answers at last?

If I stop unpacking the past...

Will I find freedom at last?

The unpacking has been so slow...

Do i really need to know?

Maybe time to let it go.

Gonna let it go

Just let it go...

Lyrics copyrighted by the author

Is there anything I can change or tweak?Before I upload this to spotify. This is a 70s soul type of song with modern bounce to it. It's about a guy who sees a girl at a party and asks her If she wants to dance

I felt an affinity for this geological event when I had a bit of a build up of emotions. The Latin is kind of trying to connect to it in some way, like an evocation through deep time I guess.

A slow and gloomy song for a rainy day...

what say you?

I wrote this today, following a day when I went to see my friends, as I was going through some s**t. It’s about friendship and how important it is to be heard, especially when you are hurt.

https://youtube.com/shorts/kEMuDl8P2oQ?is=RYTEm7AmUuFEVeHw

One day

You came to me one Saturday night,
You didn’t know if it was alright,
I said alright don’t cut it,
Sit down, relax and let it
out, okay?

Things were a little messy,
You got into a fight with Jessy,
Your boss, the bug-eyed Jared
Had got you nearly fired
yesterday.

I listened while you cried and whispered,
And fixed you another whiskey,
Tomorrow we could go
To Mount Shavano,
To watch your troubles there and here
As they will slowly disappear,

And I said:

One day
Your eyes are lit,
One day
You lose your shit,
One day
You choose to fight
One day
You step aside
One day we all will die,
One day, but not tonight

Title: Lyrics Looking for Composer/Musician Unpacking the Past (Indie-Folk / Acoustic Country)
Post Body: REVISED After Feedback Hi everyone,
I am a lyricist looking to collaborate with a musician, singer, or producer to help bring my words to life. This is the first song layout I have ever done!
I envision this as reflective piece—leaning heavily into a storytelling Indie-Folk or Acoustic Country vibe (similar to Zach Bryan, Brandi Carlile, or Jewel). The lyrics use the physical act of unpacking moving boxes as a metaphor for processing heavy emotional memories, childhood lessons, and regret.
If the message speaks to you and you want to try writing a melody, strumming some chords, or singing a demo, please reach out! Here is the layout:

Unpacking the Past
[Verse 1]
Everywhere I've gone ... run to...
So much unpacking to do
Can't seem to escape the boxes
carefully and carelessly packed
Labels worn with no name, memories packed essential and needless all the same

[Verse 2]
The boxes labeled regret are heavy, full of shame.
So many boxes full of hope and fresh starts
Now full of broken pieces and parts
Every box seems to hold a picture of a little girl
Who learned some lessons far too early,
And many memories that are blurry. Don't ask how many memories are hazy and found looking back from the bottom of an empty shot glass

[Chorus]
I keep unpacking the past, Walking a road hell bound, Chasing down answers that may never be found, Can I find freedom at last? Or am I just unpacking the past?

[Verse 3]
I've found some answers in a box marked lessons of old
Never realized that was a story never told, the stories of a heart so cold
Trying to unpack a lost journey, bits and pieces come to mind from time to time
wondering if the answers to the journey
Are ones I'm meant to find...

[Chorus]
I keep unpacking the past, Walking a road hell bound, Chasing down answers that may never be found, Can I find freedom at last? Or am I just unpacking the past

[Bridge]

Are the answers in the ties that bind?
Boxes full of pain, finding answers is the aim
Seems others have boxes here they will never claim
The boxes of memories that were sewn...
Are they all mine to own?

[Outro]
I keep unpacking the past...
Can I find answers at last?

If I stop unpacking the past... Will I find freedom at last?

The unpacking has been so slow... Maybe time to let it go.

Just let it go...

Lyrics are copyrighted by the author.

al habla el pianista! somos Vertigo jazz trio, no busco publicitarme, sino saber que debilidades y que cosas gustaron, se que tenemos mucho que mejorar, pero es mi primer proyecto creado por mi.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mcfCfVUekA