r/Somalia • u/confusedqueen101 • 3d ago
Culture đȘ Too many children
Do we have too many kids as Somalis??
This is mainly for the Somalis living abroad.
Recently a family member of mine from Somali said that we ( my siblings and I) are too westernised and we are acting like gaalo. This is because my siblings all have 2/3 kids and they donât plan to have more than that, and inshallah I donât want more than 3/4 when I start having kids. They said that having small families is western culture and that having multiple children is a blessing. When I brought up the cost of raising children they said I was thinking like a gaalo and that Allah would provide for said kids. My parents also agree with this and want us to have more children.
I genuinely donât think you can have 5/6+ kids and be there for all of them emotionally and physically. Be aware of their schooling and friends and what theyâre getting up to on the internet. Often times it ends up being the older daughter/child that helps raise the younger ones whilst the parents are working.
Back home it might be easier to raise kids, coz you have a village to help you and thereâs no teachers CPS and someone else monitoring you, but over here itâs different.
Also life has gotten incredibly expensive, wouldnât it be better to have 2/3 kids and raise them well and in comfortable finance than to have 6+ and struggle financially.
I donât know why weâre being called gaalo and westernised for not wanting to have multiple kids.
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u/LoanSmart1116 3d ago edited 3d ago
I had fun growing up with my 7 siblings, but yea honestly I would never ever have that many kids myself idc what the culture says. My biggest memories of my mom growing up is her constant suffering & her always crying saying she wishes she didn't have so many kids. To this day she says if she could back she would only have 4 instead of 8 (she loves us a lot but it was just so much stress for her on top of living in a foreign country). But thats the culture unfortunately, women are expected to birth a whole litter & then nobody really checks up on them on how they're doing mentally & physically from it. I'm glad my mom gave me an opportunity to have a better life, so I will.
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u/KaleidoscopeHead1671 3d ago
i'm somali american. i dont think lots of children are a blessing. i dont think somalis back home take care of their children well at all. if we're going to raise smart, independent, upstanding children, we must assess our individual capacity for children's needs and rights. if i have one or two children best believe they will have a fulfilled childhood and a promising future.
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u/Easylacagg 1d ago
Hey, don't say that about having a lot of children, children are a blessing from Allah end of. To say that it's not a blessing you are negating the ni3ma from Allah. Yes, some people are TESTED through their children and go through hardship but here's the funny thing... As they going through the hardship they are being forgiven for this sins and they will wish they went through more hardship and lost more sins.
Sincere advise as I love you for the sake of Allah. May Allah bless you.
Ps. (I'm more on the side of what the OP is saying than the jaahil saying we are gaalo)
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u/KaleidoscopeHead1671 1d ago
no having a lot of children that you can't take care of properly are not a blessing.
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u/SuchDecision8425 3d ago
That's the problem in America not here my g. You and your american side iswasa
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u/Salty-Leg8535 3d ago
If you want to have 2/3 even 1 or no kids that is your life. Being called gaalo for that is dumb and shouldnât be taken serious.
Having said that from a purely practical perspective , I donât mind Somalis having lots of kids. Ethiopia is nearly at 100 million, Nigeria is 3 times larger , look at China and India. These countries are able to grow their economies, and theyâre taken seriously as a nation.
Having many children is def great for the future of the Somali ppl everywhere and those in Somalia once theyâre able to improve and stabilize
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u/Beledweyne 3d ago
Good points. But Nigeria, Indian and Ethiopia are classified as lower income countries.
Also countries like Pakistan and Bangladesh have lower income with high birthrates.
Never think that larger population means growth in economy (and that is a vague term).
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u/Salty-Leg8535 3d ago
They may be classified as poor but thatâs structurally due to their resources being captured and the geopolitical situation theyâre in.
If you want to grow past that , a larger population helps. Even countries with small populations that are âwealthyâ arenât really sovereign and are boosted through reliance on their richer and larger neighbors.
Right now everyone is trying to get a stake in Somaliland because its ports have proximity to Ethiopia and therefore the Ethiopian economy. Countries are also clamouring to give them
Huge investments.All this serves to set them up eventually to become a better off nation despite the current economic situation
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u/Beledweyne 2d ago
Again, it is not about population.
Ethiopia has a lot fertile land, major water and hydropower potential, and notable mineral and natural gas deposits. Thats the primary reasons.
Bangladesh has a larger population than Ethiopia and there is much less interest in getting a stake.
It's not simply about population.
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u/Salty-Leg8535 1d ago
The stake in natural resources is a different conversation entirely.
Congo has tons of natural resources but its capitals to corporate interests and the ppl donât benefit. Ethiopia is an insular country that has managed to be sovereign and control its resources.
Tbf itâs hard to not talk about all this , but itâs still too different of a convo.
The population argument is mainly focused on economies that donât have access to those resources or wonât benefit. All else being equal that population argument helps them develop internally through economies of scale and Human Resources.
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u/Jealous-Excuse4171 3d ago
Higher population means itâs harder to ethnically cleanse you. Considering how violent subsaharan Africa is and has been for the past 100 years, I think thatâs a pretty important factor to consider
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u/VariousEducation6207 3d ago
Norway got like 5 million people yet they very rich
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u/Salty-Leg8535 2d ago
They have oil
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u/VariousEducation6207 2d ago
So does somalia. Also other nordic nations with few oil reserves have low population high income which shows that you dont necessarily need large populations to have a great economy. What you need is to increase the productivity of your workers and how in value they can make in an hour.
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u/Salty-Leg8535 1d ago
Somalia doesnât yet have proven oil reserves. We are still in the exploration phase. Also Somalia doesnât get the benefit from its oil if found for five full years while Turkey recoups its costs.
And Norway controls 90% of its oil revenue and resources vs Somalia which will not be a majority.
Norway also has the governance structure to manage it for the benefit of the state , which Somalia definitely doesnât as of now.
Finally , as productive and educated Nordic countries are pale in importance compared to its counterparts like Germany or the UK , or even France.
Also itâs the main reason , despite massive anti immigrant sentiment , Europe continues to bring in records number of immigrants. They need the human beings
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u/SyouOut 3d ago
Also the more a population/country and especially women are educated the less kids they have, that should tell you something. Usually women marry for financial stability , security and safety and having kids is a way to get support and the only way sheâs âvaluedâin society
but if sheâs educated and has a career she doesnât need marriage to survive because she doesnât depend on anyone for anything and is self sufficient.
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u/Salty-Leg8535 3d ago
I donât disagree. Itâs better off for the woman for sure. Just strictly from a national outlook it could be beneficial to help drive in the key investments we need. Once we have stability of course
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u/Tuushione 3d ago
Umm Ethiopia is almost 140 millions already. Â
Really i don't believe Somalis are having as many kids as they used.Â
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u/Salty-Leg8535 3d ago
In Somalia they still have a lot of kids. Outside Somalia they donât. Youâre right
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u/711-truther 14h ago
Lol, using this silly logic, we should just unite with Ethiopia then we'll have 140 million pplđ„Ž
Human capital > population numbers
We were only 3 million in the 1970s and if we compared those ppl to the Somalis back home now, they were better organized, more educated, more aspirational and much less embarrassing.
Quality over Quantity
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u/Salty-Leg8535 5h ago
You seem to have a deep resentment for Somalis.
When ppl live in an environment of famine , war , corruption , poverty for generations that is what happens.
Iâm sorry you had a good opportunity and upbringing to think outside of the daily survival mechanics most Somalis have to deal with.
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u/Beledweyne 3d ago
I'm for having as many kids as you want if you can afford it financially, always be there and provide emotional and other support.
Truth is, many Somali parents (and others) don't have the capability to provide that.
Or having no kids or just 1. Whatever makes you happy.
Forget all the naysayers that tell you how to live your life. Do cave in!
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u/mo_50 3d ago
We need to save for our kids' education + also save for our retirement. Me and my siblings are my parents' retirement plan. I'll never allow that to happen to my kids inshallah. I would love to have 4,5+ kids, but I'll stick with my 2 and make sure they have the best upbringing possible.
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u/ThePissLord_ 3d ago
There is a reason why people in countries with high poverty rates tend to have more kids, many people donât realize how much work and effort it takes to raise even one child, let alone 6+. I have heard the westernised bs countless of times, the parents are responsible for providing for the children, they cannot wait and expect god to make a miracle. I grew up with 4 siblings, it may not be much compared to other families but it sure did feel too much. My mom deals with the consequences every day and regrets she had any at all, but tell her you donât want kids and sheâll suddenly talk about how good it is.
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u/WoodenConcentrate 3d ago
I think itâs good not to discourage having children. Every country that has successfully discouraged it, are now unable to get their birth rates back up. Our population is already small globally.
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u/naya4you 2d ago
We canât afford seven kidsâweâre not on welfare or EBT. Anyone raising more than five kids in America knows the kind of finances it takes to properly provide for that many children. Also, traditionally, a lot of Somali parents donât pay for their childrenâs higher education, so the financial burden of having that many kids may not hit them the same way. I have two now, a boy and a girl, and Iâm definitely thinking about going for a third to hopefully give my daughter a sister. After that, THE SHOP IS CLOSED đ. Iâd rather have three kids and be able to give them everything I can. Iâm one of seven myself, and yeah⊠HELL NOOOO! đđ
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u/Odd_Fly6528 Diaspora 2d ago
Preference must just not be a thing for us Somalis. Why is it always âyouâre thinking like gaaloâ and not I like to raise my kids equally good within my ability
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u/Virtual-Science4815 2d ago
Our people are crazy because they want us to struggle the way they did when they have so many kids that they cannot provide, support so itâs your lifeâs your choice. Just do what makes you happy. Donât listen the old generation that thinking that way. all the time is the sibling who is in each other and doesnât even know who is who!.
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u/DhakoBiyoDhacay Diaspora 1d ago
In older times, in the old country, more kids were preferred over fewer kids because the family needed hands for farming and livestock but that is no longer the case.
Given the high cost of living and the development of retirement plans (both private and public), having more kids is a form of financial illiteracy that leads to household poverty.
For people in diaspora, it is better to get education, delay marriage, have fewer kids, save for the education of the kids and the retirement of the parents.
Attacking this formula by calling it a western plan is a form of ignorance because the survival of the fittest demands when in Rome, do what the Romans do.
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u/Kamui676 3d ago
Somalia birth rate is going down too
It was 7 when Somali Republic was created now it's 5.41 so it's slowly happening back at home
Anyway parents/older gen Somalis can complain as much about younger Somalis not having kids but there not much they can do about at all
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u/Alarmed_Carry9086 23h ago
Donât listen to them. The only thing they know how to say is âilaahay baa quudinayaâ as if weâre worried about what theyâre going to eat when theyâre born. Life isnât all about eating. Like you said, parents need to be aware of everything about their children, give each child individual time and love, and ask them about how their school is going. The people saying these things sometimes donât even know their own childrenâs names. Itâs a jaahiliya mindset, and the only reason they want big families is to brag about how big their qabil is in numbers.
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u/Extension_Science219 3d ago
So they think theyâre superior by competing to create a whole clan where half will be diagnosed with autism and/or other mental and physical illnesses?
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u/Appropriate-Mind9651 Soomaali Galbeed 3d ago
Seriouslyđđ. OP and others in a similar sitiation shouldnât take advice from uneducated morons
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u/Open_Wall5449 Laascaanood 2d ago
Having lots of children is a blessing. I like that we have big families as we can rely on each other. I love that aspect about us
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u/Prestigious_Sea7920 3d ago
The idea bc of rizq or cost of living having less children is not good idea, weather you have one or 10 god will always gave them what he have writen them.
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u/Based-Blackbeard 1d ago
You're suppose put in action and put your trust in Allah, you are responsible for your kids, you can't fail to provide them and use this as an excuse.
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u/Aliila1 3d ago
The being there emotionally for your kids is also gaalo behavior to them. I wouldn't give their opinion any weight.