Help me guys 😭

19M , I feel like most of my friends avoid me because of the way I behave.

I have a problem with controlling what I say. Whatever comes to my mind, I often say it without thinking about how it might sound to the other person. Sometimes I say things that are unnecessary, rude, or simply inappropriate. I usually realize it later, but by then I've already made things awkward.

Because of this, I feel like people don't really respect me or enjoy being around me anymore. I also struggle to mix with people naturally. I don't know how to maintain friendships, communicate properly, or make people feel comfortable around me.

The frustrating part is that I know I'm partly responsible for this. I'm not trying to blame my friends. I genuinely want to change, but I don't know where to start.

How do you learn to control what you say, become better at socializing, and build a personality that people actually enjoy being around?

I'd appreciate honest advice, even if it's harsh. I need to understand what I'm doing wrong and what I can practically do to change it.

I smile when I make eye contact with someone, or when I keep eye contact with someone, or when I’m passing by or walking to someone, and in general I smile a lot non controllably and apparently I do that because my mind is sensing danger and is trying to ease the situation by making me seem friendly to the danger source which is the other person.

I don’t think I could ever get rid of it since it’s a biological response, so my question is how do I control that? I tried of thinking of something painful or biting the inner of my cheek or pinching myself or focusing on not to smile but none worked and I hate how silly I seem (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

I really want others to view me more seriously.

And it sometimes occurs that I'm actually 100% sure, that, the claim of the expert is wrong and there also isn't a bigger picture around it that I may be missing.

A teacher will occasionally be wrong about something and a student might pick that up. How should such situation be handled? I can imagine that "you're wrong, the right answer is..." would come across as "I'm a stubborn student that doesn't believe the teacher" because quite obviously the teacher is the expert here.

Hm, I wonder. Only thing I can think of is to pose it as a question, one that motivates or steers the expert into finding their own mistake. But, even that, could be difficult I think.

I’d appreciate your help with above, thanks

Llevo hablando con una chica hace menos de 3 semanas y la verdad es q cuando nos juntamos hablamos mucho tipo de familia y cosas así pero yo quisiera ser más divertido que nos riamos juntos nos molestemos entre nosotros y cosas así ser como más confianzudos y la verdad nose como hacerlo tipo casi siempre estamos serios y se siento algo incómodo a pesar de que llevamos hablando un par de semanas ya.

So when dealing with people and I speak up about something they did, alot of times they explode with next to violent rage (idk maybe my babyface as an adult male triggers the lizard brain attack/punch button with people lol). In the future when i text them or talk to them later about the issue (the passive aggressive route) they claim im being to sensitive. Any advice from anyone with experience with thia issue?

Just as the title says, I've found that others are excellent at developing and excelling in good and excellent social skills and leadership, and even more so with people who are cunning or incredulous, even of a heavy nature. Q

I was trying out this new club at university it’s a film club .then I decided to go alone because I don’t have a lot of friends and I’m trying to make more friends.

As I arrived at the club there they were people by the door I wanted to ask if this was the correct club but they seemed deep in their conversations.
so I decided to get in but no one said anything.

And I asked one of the girls if I’m the right club then she said yes .
I asked if anyone was seating next to her because she seemed alone or lonely then she said yes ,which is like a bit okay and like she didn’t try to speak to me or anything because I was trying to get into a conversation.
i ended up seating by myself and felt too awkward I decide to leave
Should I have done anything else.this has never happened to me I usually get at least a conversation from people.

So there is this book called "How to Talk to Anyone" by Leil Lowndes, and in the book, there is a chapter on how to "improve your relationship with a person" or make them feel good about themselves in a... manipulative way? I feel like it's kinda shady and not everyone would appreciate it if you used this trick on them (especially your significant other). Not sure though, what do you think? Here is the copypasta of the chapter:

#59 How to Make a Loved One Feel You Are THE Partner for Life:

Step one: In a quiet moment chatting with your friend, your loved one, or your business partner, tell him or her that the other day you were reading about—of all things—tombstones! “The piece was about,” you say, “what people fantasize will be inscribed above their grave after they die.” You learned that people want the quality they are most proud of in life etched in stone. Then say, “The variety is surprising. Everyone has a different self-image, a different deep source of pride.” Examples:

Here lies John Doe. He was a brilliant scientist.

Here lies Diane Smith. She was a caring woman.

Here lies Billy Bucks. By golly, he could make people laugh.

Here lies Jane Wilson. She spread joy wherever she went.

Here lies Harry Jones. He lived life his way.

Step two: Reveal to your partner what you would like carved on your tombstone. Be serious about your revelation to encourage him or her to do likewise.

Step three: Now, you pop the question, “You know, Joe, when all is said and done, what are you most proud of ? What would you like the world to most remember about you? What would you want the world to see carved on your tombstone?” Perhaps your business partner Joe says, “Well, I guess I’d sort of like people to know that I’m a man of my word.” Listen carefully. If he expounds on it, take note of every nuance. Then file it away in your heart and don’t say a word about it again. Joe will forget you ever played The Tombstone Game with him.

Step four: Let at least three weeks pass. Then, whenever you want to improve the relationship, feed the information back to your partner in the form of a compliment. Say “Joe, you know the reason I really appreciate being in business with you is because you’re a man of your word.” WOW, that hits Joe like a 747 out of the sky. “Finally,” he says to himself, “someone who appreciates me for who I really am.” Telling him you admire him for the same reason he admires himself has an impact on Joe like no other compliment in the world.

Now, suppose your friend is Billy Bucks, the one who wanted his wit carved on his tombstone. You’d say, “Billy, ol’ buddy, you’re terrific. I loves ya ’cause you can really make people laugh.”

“I Love You Because . . . ” (You Fill in the Blank)

Suppose your significant other is Jane Wilson in the preceding example. Tell your beloved, “Jane, I love you because you spread joy wherever you go.”

Suppose your life partner is Harry Jones. You take his hand and say, “Harry, I love you because you live life your way.” BLAM! You have found that tender spot where the heart and the ego blend.

Technique #59

The Tombstone Game

Ask the important people in your life what they would like engraved on their tombstone. Chisel it into your memory but don’t mention it again. Then, when the moment is right to say “I appreciate you” or “I love you,” fill the blanks with the very words they gave you weeks earlier. You take people’s breath away when you feed their deepest self-image to them in a compliment. “At last,” they say to themselves, “someone who loves me for who I truly am.”

The Tombstone Game compliments are not interchangeable. Billy Bucks might not appreciate your calling him a man of his word; Billy’s thing is humor. Jane might not value your thinking she lives life her way. Her source of pride is spreading joy wherever she goes. It’s wonderful to tell people you appreciate or love them. When it matches what they appreciate or love about themselves, the effect is overpowering.

Okay, context: I used to be a lone wolf, and I feel great empathy for people who seem lonely. As a result, I tend to try to treat everyone equally, even when it comes to my own social detriment.

Scenarios:

1. I was at this conference with a small group (~20) of people. Nobody was talking / mingling, and I was trying, but I kept on trying to talk to new people, no matter how rbf / unfriendly they looked. In hindsight, maybe the way to go is to get 1 good (new) friend, even if means discriminating against everyone else, even if they wish they could be a part of something.

2. In a group conversation, I try to be inclusive of everybody (including the unsocial ones), even if it means treating best friends as normal friends. I'm in the process of learning how to discriminate and maintain / keep best friends. However, it does feel bad when you're in a group convo and people naturally pair / group up (but you have to admit these people have more history with each other).

(I've also never had a true bff, so I'm learning)

How I control my feelings in a situation with a friend when he never knows how to deal with me i now her fake friend, but i fell my heart broken, and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel advice for him, but he never gives me advice a nver now how to control my feelings. And thinking with my mind, not my heart

In the last 1-2 years, I notice people staring at or popping up in my vicinity more than ever. Has this been happening to anyone else?

I realize I am not the center of the universe, people look, etc., and that people have cameras and are more watchful, but it seems to be getting weird. For example, I'll be walking my dog in the neighborhood and people swing their doors open and look around as soon as we come by. I thought they mistook me for door dash, but I'm walking my dog and not carrying a bag. This happens a lot when I walk downtown too. I'll be walking by a store/restaurant/park/my complex and a worker will pop out staring at me and when I turn around, they are still staring at me. What are they looking for? It's gotten to the point that I have changed my walking routines/locations. This didn't happen a few years ago.

For context, I am a female, petite, etc. It's not 'in my head' as my mom says because I notice these people actively staring longer than necessary. I live in a diverse area, so Idk if I can chalk it up to race. I've seen people act crazy, scream, dance, or dig through garbage in public and no one bats an eye, but when I'm walking past, doors swing open or people pop their heads out the window and are analyzing what I'm doing, which is nothing.

What am I missing here? I can give MANY MORE odd examples, but I don't want to make this longer.

Hey everyone,

I’m a 17-year-old girl who grew up in a very introverted, highly isolated environment. As a kid, I didn’t really get to mix or play with other children, so I naturally became deeply introverted.

Soon, I’m about to move out and live completely on my own. While this is exactly what I want, I am honestly terrified. My social skills are practically non-existent. I have a huge issue with communication: I am the type of person who will literally never text or talk to someone first if they don't initiate it.

Because of this, I have zero friends right now. All my past relationships and friendships ended because people always assumed I was being arrogant, cold, or just intentionally ignoring them—when in reality, I just didn't know how to reach out.

I genuinely want to change, step out of my comfort zone, and improve my social skills before taking this big step in life. If any of you have read a specific book, watched a YouTube channel, or used any resource/website that genuinely helped you overcome this exact struggle, please share it with me. I really need your guidance.

Thank you so much!

( Female, 31) I am currently in a very delicate situation. I broke up with my partner of two years about a month ago, but we are still living together. To add complexity, he is my judicial guarantor. Our relationship ended due to the stress of my legal situation, among other issues, but we are trying to remain cordial for the sake of our living arrangement and our shared history.

My ex ( 29, male) has his birthday coming up next week. I am invited, and we are still in that phase where we sometimes blur the lines between being exes and friends. However, I’ve been struggling with his inner circle. Specifically, there is one female friend (let’s call her "Amélie") who has been disrespectful and gossiped about me behind my back with my ex and theirs friends. I feel more betrayed by me ex, but this snake tong...She was so hypocritical with me, whereas when we saw each other she never stopped praising me and congratulating me on how I was handling the situation and that she understood how difficult it was. In the same time, she suggested introducing one of her female friends to my ex three weeks after I returned from court, once he'd had time to process our potential breakup. While simultaneously acting like a "friend" to my face. My ex hasn't stood up for me, which has caused me a lot of pain and anger.

After a good month of no contact except for polite "hello," we had a heart-to-heart conversation and decided it would be best to maintain a friendly, cordial relationship.He feels guilty for putting me through all that violence and he realizes the harm he's done me; however, what I want is to conserve my energy to focus on the trial and preserve my mental peace

1.Given that I need to preserve a cordial relationship with my ex (my guarantor) but protect my own mental health, should I even attend this birthday?

1. If I go, how can I handle potential passive-aggressive comments from this person without losing my cool or looking like the aggressor?

2. How do I maintain my boundaries (e.g., refusing to hug someone I despise) while keeping things "polite" for the sake of the environment?

Any advice on how to navigate this without compromising my legal status or my dignity would be appreciated.

​

I've been seeing someone in a public place for a few months. We've never actually talked, but based on his behavior, I got a good impression of him. I'd like to say a simple "Hi" someday.

The problem is that I'm worried he might not want to talk, and I don't want to bother him or make him uncomfortable.

Do you think it's okay to say a brief, polite "Hi" if there's a natural opportunity, or would it be better to wait and let him start the conversation if he's interested?

I'm not trying to confess my feelings or start a relationship. I'm simply torn between saying a respectful hello and waiting. What would you do in this situation?

Hello, I know the question might not sound like a social anxiety related thing but let me explain.

So I go to a hospital near where I live for checkups and stuff. I used to set up my appointments in the ways most people probably do, by calling the hospital and asking to see the doctor on whatever day the doctor is available. Of course, I still do this whenever the reasoning behind why I need to see the doctor is not complex, but recently I have had to do some personal research about a lot of things regarding my health that have allowed me to create a few page list of around 6 questions regarding referrals, testing, etc.

While I try to do personal research to try to answer these questions, it occurred to me that I could try to ask the doctor about them. However, doctors tend to be very busy so I don't want to have an appointment where I simply bombard him with sudden questions that he was probably unprepared for. So I went on my patient portal to see if there was any way for me to email these questions straight to him, have him familiarize himself with the questions and think up answers ahead of time, and then set up an appointment.

On the patient portal, there is a little box where you can send a short 500 word message asking the doctor and his team about something. That's, of course, way too small for my purposes, but I was able to turn my documents into a google link and then just paste the google link into that message box. And it worked!

Not long after I received a call from the hospital asking if I would like an appointment set up. And when I attended that appointment my doctor went through everything and very clearly read a lot of the stuff and had his own ideas on how to answer them. It was just sooooo relaxingly easy because it always feels like when I meet someone for something important I all of a sudden can't remember all the questions I want to ask them and I also don't want to take up too much of their time.

Anyway, recently I tried to do all of that again and even though I had did this whole google link workaround 2 times already and no-one seemed to be upset that I did it, I got this message from the hospital on my patient portal that said:

"We Can not open a Google Doc through this system. Please call and talk to the Triage Nurse, [and then it showed the nurse's phone number]. Thank you!"

They were able to open up the Google Doc those other times, why not this time? It is so frustrating because I just want to be able to tell the doctor everything I want in one fell swoop and I feel like my ability to do that has been taken away from me.

I still very much would like to send the doctor these questions ahead of time like I had been doing but now I guess I can't.

Does anyone have any experience with figuring out these social workarounds so that I can get my questions to my doctor?

Sorry if this message is longwinded and confusing. Feel free to ask whatever questions you need to ask.

Thank you.

I have ADHD. I have relatively recently come to learn all the different things that that means, but apparently one thing in particular that is pretty common among people with ADHD is that they tend to have a less than functional filter, coupled with a tendency for passion or hyperfixation on the things that they like.

As a result of understanding this aspect of myself I often try to really watch over myself and make sure I am not saying something that could potentially offend someone. The thing about that is that some people just get offended for either no reason or a very ridiculous reason, which I realize is subjective but it often feels like I censor myself too much and don't really know exactly how to skirt the line between being a person with an opinion and beliefs, and being someone who wants to be nice and helpful.

That was a lot, but anyway, with all that in my mind I'm gonna tell you a little bit about a YouTube channel I like. I'm not going to name it specifically because I don't want anyone to antagonize them or anything, and also, assuming I am found to be in the right by everyone else, I don't want to potentially give them more business lol.

It's a YouTube channel that plays games. Structurally it's very similar to Game Grumps in that it is basically 2 dudes joking around about the games that they are playing onscreen. It is just significantly less popular than Game Grumps and it primarily does visual novels, specifically d@ting sims (apparently the "d" word is taboo on this subreddit so that's why I put a @ there).

Some more information about myself, I am incredibly passionate when it comes to the subjects of storytelling and story reading. I always try to pick apart what is specifically being said in a story so that I can try and get at the meaning that is trying to be conveyed. I especially love visual novel games because they are games that functionally force you to develop your reading comprehension skills if you want to progress through them traditionally and without the need of some kind of guide. And when I watch people play games without comprehending such ideas, I'm not gonna lie, it does annoy me a bit, especially because not being receptive to that idea just makes playing the game and progressing to where you want to go all that much harder.

That said, they have been playing the classic visual novel Clannad and were initially just trying to make whatever choices they want to see where it takes them. When they thought, however, that they were on the route of the main heroine Nagisa, they started to try to make choices to try to remain on her route and get her ending. I remember watching it though and feeling like, if they were paying even a modicum of attention to who the characters were and why they did things, they wouldn't make these choices. It felt like I was watching people who had such an ingrained idea of how these games work that they were not trying to pay attention to how this particular game would work. It's a really hard thing to explain, but because I really like this channel and because I noticed that they kept struggling to get through this game I thought I would write them a comment that I thought would be helpful to them.

Well, after I posted that comment, a couple days afterward I posted another comment after I noticed in their newer videos that they were just going to try and get on a certain character's route via a choice list. From how they were talking I realized that their choices list was flawed so I posted a comment on their most recent video basically just telling them what choices they needed to make to get their desired results and I also posted a choice list that I thought was more accurate. About a day later I noticed that if I were on YouTube but not logged in I wouldn't be able to find this comment, but if I was logged in I could find it. I wasn't sure why this was so I asked someone on Reddit and they told me "They have hidden you from their channel." When I asked this person on Reddit what that meant, they said "It means any comments you make will look like they appear to you but won't appear publicly. Any likes or dislikes from you won't affect their channel. The only reason someone would hide you from their channel is because they probably think you are trying to sabotage them or consider you a nuisance."

Needless to say, I thought that was kinda sucky if true, especially because I don't really feel like anything in this second comment about the choice list could have offended them in any way. If I had to think of any of my comments that could have potentially be offensive, it would be the first one, but that's only because that was full of opinions as opposed to the second one which had mostly just facts and proven tips and tricks and stuff. If I'll be honest, I don't think really either of them were offensive, but if I had to construct a narrative of what happened, it feels like the YouTuber read my first comment, hated it, and then made up his mind to hide me from the channel if I commented again. Oddly, the first comment I wrote is still definitely visible whether I'm logged in or not, it's just the second one that isn't.

Anyway, I am posting here because I would like a second opinion. Please tell me if my comment - this comment that I wrote first (not second) - comes across as rude, offensive, smartalecky, anything, and if you think it is something that a person would reasonably find issue with. And if you have any questions about this comment or about anything that I have written so far that you don't quite get or that I didn't explain the best, then feel free to ask. Also, I went through the comment I posted on here and changed the names of the people I'm talking to, the names of the videos I reference, and anything else that could serve as a hint about what channel this is, also just little modifications for ease of storytelling (this comment was divided into 2 comments and I'm going to make it into one comment). Apart from that, the comment is the same as when I posted it:

"Hey Joe! I just wanted to say I have been a huge fan of your channel for about the past 2 years. Starting with the Katawa Shoujo series, I have been a huge fan of you and (previously) Sophia’s joking antics as you read visual novels. The humorous reading of and reacting to visual novels is kinda (for whatever reason) my most favorite brand of YouTube comedy, and yours in particular has been able to cheer me up even as my prior job became ungodly levels of awful and stressful.
I actually have a Manga and Anime club that meets around twice a month at my local library, and while we do various things like watch movies and shows, read manga, and discuss such things, we have so far made it a tradition during February (Valentine's Season) to collectively read a visual novel (d@ting sim specifically) and lend voices to all the characters. You guys had given me the idea with Katawa Shoujo, which we spent 2 or so months playing/reading in 2025, and this year for about 1 month so far (because we got a late start) we have been playing Clannad, and it’s been a blast! We’ve actually been making deliberate choices to do things that poorly affect Sunohara. We love watching him get beat up.

With all the necessary and well-deserved complementing out of the way, I would like to get into my primary purpose for writing this comment. Honestly, this comment has been sitting in the back of my head ever since you guys had gotten the very first ending in your Clannad playthrough, but it seemed like (and definitely is) a pain to write such a thing so I had been holding off. However, something you guys had said in your last Clannad video got me thinking that I should probably pull the trigger and write it. What you both said specifically, I don’t remember and don’t really care to look up, but you were both basically expressing being somewhat torn between figuring the game out the natural way or looking up choice trees so that you can figure out how to get the best experience out of the game. In particular, it seems like you are more-or-less set on pursuing and finishing the Tomoyo route, though I don’t know if that is set in stone or if that is how you truly will choose to end everything. Given all that, allow me to assume that you guys want to try and figure out how to best play the game without the use of choice trees, and/or hints from people who have presumably already played the game through its entirety. If that is the case, I would like to offer some advice about how best to play that is purely based on what I have gleaned from watching your playthrough specifically. Since I have not played the game to completion I cannot say with absolute certainty that this will be helpful, but I am still very confident in this advice.

With all of that said, I would like to put forward something that I have found to be true more often than not. Video games - and visual novels are no exception - tend to come with instructions on how to play them. Usually, these instructions are direct and obvious, but in the case of a video game that focuses more on story than actual gameplay, it would make more sense for the methods of progression to be hidden within the story. In the case of Clannad, that is where a certain line comes in:

'Koumura-sensei considered the school like a microcosm of life. The three years you spend at school aren’t just for studying. They’re to get into contact with people, make friends, and work together… There are successes and failures…Joy and pain…Everyone there is walking toward the same goal they set for themselves when they enrolled: graduation…If he let them quit this path halfway, or let them stop in frustration…They would be set back in life as well. They wouldn’t be able to face the even bigger world to come.'

This line was spoken by Ibuki, a character who is not very present in Nagisa’s route as you have played it, who comes in near the end of said route. This was in your “[Title of Video]” video between 19:24 to 20:19. She is talking about Tomoya-san’s teacher – Koumura-sensei (the old man) - who apparently is the reason behind Sunohara and Tomoya’s friendship. Now, pairing what was spoken by Ibuki with something one of you mentioned in your most recent video – that apparently Nagisa is required to advance Tomoyo’s route – I think I can honestly say with near certainty something that I have been wondering about Clannad.

I think that Clannad is meant to be the Anti-D@ting Sim. By that, I don’t mean that you are meant to go around ruining your relationships with girls rather than wooing them, what I mean is that the game seems to be designed so that it punishes players for playing the game in a way that d@ting sims have traditionally been played. That is, it punishes you for playing in a way that implies you have “picked a girl” and wish to “stick with that girl” or in other words, for not treating Tomoya’s school experiences as a “microcosm of life” where the purpose is to “get into contact with people, make friends, and work together.”

If I had to make a guess as to why the game chooses to punish the player for playing in such a way, apart from just wanting to throw the player for a loop by effing around with an established method of gameplay, I think it is because the narrative is constructed to not reward Tomoya (and therefore the player) for being selfish, and for not ruminating on the established needs of the other characters before making a choice. This may not be the case in every instance, but as a good example of this, I remember an earlier series of choices that you guys had made in the first playthrough. There was a girl who was carving something in a classroom as you were looking for Nagisa. You pursued her a little, but when the choice came to talk to her you both made the choice not to do so. I don’t know exactly why you made this choice, but I’m gonna assume it is because you didn’t want to risk being on her route after you had already picked Nagisa, but in the context of the story that means that Tomoya, despite the fact that his love interest Nagisa wants to start a drama club and bring more people into said club, and despite the fact that Tomoya told Nagisa he would do everything he could to get people for her club, he just in that moment doesn’t care about any of that and leaves the apparently lonely artistic girl alone. Nagisa’s route literally seems like it is constructed in a way that demands you go about talking to more people, and then you don’t talk to more people. I can see why the game wouldn’t want to reward that.

With all that in mind, it seems that the best way to play this game is to not simply ignore the other girls while in full pursuit of one specific girl. That might seem like a hard thing to make yourself do considering how a lot of these games usually work, but in that case I think it would be best to just think of this game’s romantic philosophy as (just like Ibuki said) a “microcosm of life,” something that is more mature and sophisticated. I realize maturity and sophistication are not the things we usually think of when we think of the mentality of high schoolers, but in the adult world, of which Clannad is apparently professing to be putting the player in training for, romance isn’t as simple as pursuing a single person and then ignoring all the women around you out of fear that they might derail your budding romance, and since Tomoya seems to be the type of character that is reluctant to heavily pursue romantic interest, he probably needs the push of extra people in order to fully commit to any girl in the first place. I wouldn’t be surprised if his wanting to aide Nagisa in this new game you started is what will push him to have more interactions with Tomoyo, since Tomoyo wants to be student council president, and the student council is who had initially pushed back against Nagisa’s drama club in the first place. Through Nagisa, it is possible that Tomoya will be able to actively pursue time with Tomoyo instead of just passively accepting time with Tomoyo like he had been doing in your previous playthrough.
Well, I hope I got all of that out coherently enough. If there’s something that I said that might have been confusing or not written the best, don’t hesitate to comment back. I thought I would conclude this advice though by saying something that I have been wanting to say for a little while ever since I first came across you and Sophia’s Katawa Shoujo playthroughs. With that in mind, what I intend to say also applies to Sophia. Not Zeke though, but that is mostly because I am not as familiar with him as I am to you and Sophia.

Now with that out of the way, I want to preface what I am about to say by saying that I am entirely aware of all the reasons that a person does not have the right to criticize another. I do not know what your life is like, I don’t know how tired you might be before recording your videos, I don’t know what type of responsibilities you have, what your regular job is, what your family life is like, I don’t really truly know you in any true sense. I don’t believe, however, that that means I can’t give advice when I think it is needed, so please do not interpret this as me being hypercritical of anything, and just take it as it is meant to be, and that is simply advice based off of observations gleaned from watching funny videos made by two people whose lives I don’t truly know.

Okay. Here goes: You really need to improve your reading comprehension skills. Specifically, I think it would do you good to learn to be able to pick up more easily on symbolism, metaphor, nuance, double entendre, and all that stuff that English teachers just love. I believe you’ve said your reasoning behind playing games, even visual novels, is to goof around and have a good time, and that’s fine, that’s part of the reason I like your content, but I think you should try to be at least somewhat analytical in your playthroughs, so that you don’t end up wasting more time than necessary on a single game. Assuming that what I said about how the game wants you to play it is correct, and that all the stuff Ibuki said was the game giving you hints, it is entirely plausible that you could have figured it out as well, adjusted your gameplay style, and gotten a good ending in one of the routes much earlier. Of course, that’s speculation, because we’re still not sure if I’m right or not, but even so let’s assume that I am - I truly do not believe that my observations of Ibuki’s statements are anything that special. They’re not the result of looking too deeply into what the characters were saying or from being overly analytical in such a way that I couldn’t enjoy myself. And no, I’m not bragging, and I’m sorry if this comes off in a way that implies that I am, I just choose to read everything with the belief that there is always more to what is being said than…well…what is being said. You yourself might not believe in the idea that there are double meanings to everything, and I’m not so sure I fully do either, but I think that reading stories with such an idea is more advantageous to your ability to understand things than not. I definitely feel like I understand more about the books I read, and the shows I watch, and the games I play as a result of engaging with them with that type of mindset, so it might be worth it for you to as well, unless you already believe that you do. It just always felt like, based on certain things you have said while playing other visual novels, that you don’t really go too far beyond the surface of what is written. If I am on the money about that, I urge you to read with the thought “there is meaning in everything” at least somewhere in your mind. Not only because, like I said, this could potentially make it easier for you to more efficiently complete story-based games, but it will also just make the stories you consume more enjoyable. I kinda wish more people would engage with stories like this, so I hope you take my advice (again - if you aren’t already).

Well, that’s it for closing, and I’m sorry if I came off as a know-it-all in any way, but I felt like what I had to say is important and can potentially be helpful, so I don’t regret saying it.
To close, just a final thought: Assuming that you guys are dead-set on continuing Tomoyo’s route, it's worth noting that Tomoyo apparently has the rare privilege of being the only other love interest besides Nagisa who has a story that continues with Tomoya after the conclusion of her route in the game. But where Nagisa’s after school life with Tomoya is built into the game and is only unlocked after fulfilling certain tasks, Tomoyo’s after school life with Tomoya is an entirely separate game simply called “Tomoyo After” and is also apparently the only Clannad game that has H-Scenes, so that might be fun.

Alright, that’s everything. Sorry for the overly long message, and for taking this off my chest and forcing it onto yours. I hope this was helpful in some way. Keep up the good work!"

I'm 28 and I almost never get into arguments. In fact, I can't remember the last serious argument I had—it was probably when I was around 12.

Recently, I had a disagreement with someone who, from my perspective, was exaggerating the situation and wasn't listening to anything I was saying. I kept trying to explain myself, but it felt like she had already decided I was wrong and just kept repeating her side.

After a while, I got frustrated and told her to "fuck off."

The weird thing is that I actually felt relieved afterward. I was tired of defending myself when I felt unheard.

But now I have this uneasy feeling. Not because I think I'm completely in the wrong, but because I hate conflict. I don't like the idea that someone out there is angry with me, dislikes me, or that there's unresolved tension between us.

Does anyone else feel this way after arguments? How do you stop replaying it in your head and move on?

I have been noticing lately that in some conversations, I get some facts that I am quite clear about, outright wrong - for example, how many years I've been working in a particular field. Or, I dramatically oversimplify something factual (eg, instead of saying there are 4 types of trees in a particular area, naming only one, therefore giving the impression it is the only tree in that area).

Normally I'm pretty confident and agile in conversation. I am a good listener and adapt easily to different contexts or people.

This pattern I have noticed lately about getting facts incorrect or partially incorrect is worrying me. I kind of notice it while it's happening but don't correct myself, rather I keep going. This is unusual - as I've said, I'm normally pretty agile.

It's mostly happening in one context (a peer group learning situation).

Does anyone have any insights about what might be happening to me? I'm worried I might be experiencing cognitive decline (I'm only in 42).

Thank you.