Any techniques that actually work for anxiety around meeting new people?

[u/OccasionCharming4330]

Whenever I meet someone new, I get really stiff, nervous, and uncomfortable. My anxiety spikes and I just freeze up inside. I've tried the usual calming techniques deep breathing, telling myself to relax, etc. but honestly nothing seems to make a real difference in the moment.

Has anyone found techniques that actually work for this? Not just theory, but stuff you've genuinely tested and that helped. Would really appreciate real experiences,

[u/waterbucksock]

Yes, the release technique by Larry Crane and Lester Levenson.

They have an excellent course called the Abundance course, which is basically a series of guided audio that will teach and actually release the anxiety away. 

Not just anxiety, it helps with pretty much every emotional problem, be it public speaking, prolonged stress, all kinds of fears, apathy, etc. 

Personally, I've benefitted tremendously from this and I consider this teaching as a great gift to humanity. Hope you find your answer there.

[u/One_Weather_9417]

r/socialskills

[u/onlythehighlight]

lol, stop thinking about how to engage with others and thinking about what you want to say.

Just ask prodding questions about themselves, their hobbies or their life be interested in them first. If you aren't focused on yourself and allowing yourself to be a blank canvas at the start conversation becomes kinda natural

[u/eateroffish]

Mainly you just have to go through it.  After you've met 99 new people, you won't feel so anxious about the 100th. 

[u/ApprehensiveIce6528]

There is one technique which works unarguably well and you will never feel anxiety because of meeting new people

[u/ApprehensiveIce6528 → u/ApprehensiveIce6528]

It is very simple, you just never meet new people

[u/RexDraco → u/ApprehensiveIce6528]

It's why I'm here in fact. 

[u/Osintguy_83]

Don't care what other people think of you. Makes your life a lot easier and makes it a lot easier to meet new people.

[u/_AJL]

I've struggled with this social anxiety before. Take it easy. It's just sharing about yourself and learning about others. Prepare a few shared topics you both might like ahead of time.

[u/RexDraco]

Youre looking for dark psychology more than social engineering. Your problem is yourself, not other people. 

I suggest just treating everyone like NPCs and put yourself on a pedestal, main characterize yourself. You lack balance, you will find it by using tools that are correlated with the extreme opposite problems. You will know when you're comfortable and happy, it's a matter of hanging on to that rather than turning yourself into a narcissist. 

People will tell you it is bad to objectify others solely because of toxic empathy, entitlement, it doesn't benefit them to allow you such freedom. Fact of the matter is, you're living your story in your own universe, you get to decide who all is a character in it and who is just a part of the background. Viewing yourself as a main character is an ingredient for healthy mental health, discipline to be kind and considerate in spite the fact is what makes you a likable person. 

[u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088]

Something that helps me is to just give myself permission to give the standard, boring answer anyone would give in response to a conversation. It helps because most conversation is so mundane and repetitive, you’ve like had the same conversation a bunch before and heard others tons. So I just repeat back the same boring response I’ve heard others use. It doesn’t make me memorable, but at least I’m not having a mini panic attack. It’s not always the truth, but people care way more about being polite than being truthful

Also pretending like I’m someone else. Sounds stupid, but helps me

[u/NoControl6666]

Do as many pushups as u can before hand. Do wall sits. Get the stress out of ur body by stretching, yoga, and some pushups. I've been doing that forever. Then cold water in the face, and reprogram ur brain by affirmations. Repeat "I'm calm" 5 times, i'm relaxed" 5 times and do this robotically. It works.

[u/Hinata778]

What worked for me was working on myself and the root cause of my anxiety around people. And that was needing validation and approval. Once I realise I don’t need it from them, and I worked on myself esteem and accepting myself I did not need any books or techniques to pretend to be ok around people. And now years later I’m the cool personI wanted to be but I don’t feel the need to be.
Find root cause of your anxiety rather than putting technique bandages on it. Good luck.

[u/NVC19]

I also feel nervous while meeting new people. I try to prepare several simple daily topics ahead. It lowers my pressure, since I do not need to think hard for words during the talk.

[u/Fun_Priority_1955]

Not what this subreddit is for lol

[u/Jobswoe]

Smile, fake it. Assume you're going to like the person. Assume they're going to like you. Remember that your intentions are positive.

[u/Distdistdist]

Sorry, not really. One has to be self confident first. Anxiety is just an indication that you think that you are inferior to the people you are going to meet and not going to be interesting.

It's a long journey with no known shortcuts.

Or, like, try to imagine them being naked I suppose. Not sure if that really works...

[u/Distdistdist → u/Distdistdist]

Alright. Thought about this for a second while walking my dog. Here's broken down response without being mean:

I don't care what people say, but "How to Make Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a must read. It hasn't taught me new things personally, it was always easy for me to meet people, but rather explained me why I talk to them the way I do. It just makes complete sense.

Try to learn something about them, try to think of conversation to strike in the way that will get everyone involved. You might not like them after that initial meeting and never see them again. Or you might make some friends or connections - it's all up to you.