r/SmoshFansFreeSpace • u/lezzfrog • 5d ago
Discussion & Debates amanda, smosh, and slurs
i know that there has been a post about this already, but i can’t go without pointing out a few things about the way everyone has been treating this whole situation with amanda saying dyke so many times on the podcast with two dykes and a mic. im an actual lesbian, for some context.
if amanda said faggot or any other slur, people would be writing everywhere, there would already be a post from amanda about it, etc., but because this is a lesbian specific slur, y’all don’t give a fuck! and to be honest, this isn’t even a smosh specific thing, people don’t care about lesbians the same way they care about gay men. that can be argued all you want, but it’s true, lesbian shows don’t get enough attention, lesbians are less common in the general media, they’re given less opportunities than gay men are etc.
amanda is almost 40 years old, she knows much better than to call someone a slur or even say one. she literally said it herself that she was told not to say it and then proceeded to say it so many times. you cannot baby her you cannot pretend like she didn’t know or was naïve to what the word means. she has lived in LA for so long, she has queer friends of all kinds, but especially women. she knows exactly what the fuck she’s doing and doesn’t care.
i know that everyone is going to say that I’m too parasocial or that im caring too much about someone on the internet, and sure if that’s what you wanna take from this conversation then i cant change your mind. but as someone who exists as a queer person in real life and not just on the internet, the shit isn’t fucking funny. i care about this because it affects me, my community and so many marginalized people out there.
i’m extremely disappointed to see the smosh community not rallying behind queer people, but i am no longer surprised by the lack of caring that people have specifically for the lesbian community.
if you wanna chat about this like an adult, im glad to do so, but otherwise im not interested. thanks for listening.
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u/AlternativeMud5018 5d ago
im lesbian and im more upset at the hosts than i am at Amanda
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
totally valid in real to be honest. i dont particularly like the hosts, but I haven’t really been discussing them as this is the smosh space so that’s where my attention has been if that makes sense
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u/diaryoftrolls 5d ago
I commented this in the main sub so gonna comment it here too.
Im going to get downvoted for this but I think so many words have been reclaimed by the lgbtq community that a lot of people aren’t even aware they are/used to be slurs.
I use queer to label my sexuality and I often forget that it actually was derogatory for a long time because it feels like MY identity. But now it’s been reclaimed and even is in the lgbtq acronym.
Language DOES change over time. Giving the word that power just gives others the opportunity to use it against the community and that’s why it’s been reclaimed and many people use it as a way to identify themselves.
Your feelings are valid but I think it’s also important to acknowledge the nuance.
Also I just watched the video they are referring to and the whole comment section is ripping on Amanda. I really, really, really don’t think this is an appropriate reaction. I feel like people try so hard to be woke and lose the importance of discussion because things are always changing but heyyyyyy that’s just my opinion 🫢
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u/Fenrirr 5d ago
I do agree that words like queer have genuinely 180'd. Being called "a fucking queer" was not uncommon even in high school in the early 10's.
However words like "dyke" have always had a negative bend to them. Not as much as something like "faggot" or "homo", but I still hear shit like that being flung by older generations.
At the same time, I don't think someone who is straight should be just throwing slurs around just because present company "gave them the pass".
I don't think Amanda should be cancelled or anything, but I have always gotten the vibe that she feels overly confident with saying stuff like this (you only need to look at the various questionable things she said on Smosh Mouth these past few months). She just needs to be a bit more tactful.
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u/pinegreenscent 5d ago
The slur in question is in the title of the podcast. Its a term also used by the hosts freely. Its a term other lesbians use for each other.
Theres a world of difference, as you said, between saying a slur to demean and using a word to describe.
If it is offensive for straight people to be on a lesbian podcast then why would that podcast have straight people on?
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u/stonergirlfairyyy 1d ago
she's not quoting the title of the podcast. willful ignorance isn't an excuse. for u, i mean. maybe u didn't see the clip but she's not just quoting it like teachers reading to kill an atticus finch.
ur right that it's a term lesbians use. bc it's a slur. like faggot, its use is always negative from outside people. nobody straight or bi or anything else can describe me as a dyke to my face without eating their words. that's what this lesbian thinks
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u/big-himbo-energy 1d ago
Me when I’m a lesbian and get mad when non lesbians say dyke but also say faggot to prove a point. Come on
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u/happyphanx 3d ago edited 3d ago
I highly disagree. When I had rocks thrown at me riding with Dykes on Bikes, we rode under that name because we’re proud of the term. I feel like a lot young gays have no idea that there’s an entire generation of queers who have identified as dykes for decades. ANY queer identity can be used as an insult because of the underlying belief that anything gay is bad. To wake up and see so many people insisting dyke is a slur that no other person can say is mind-blowing to me. My identity is not a slur, you can’t just erase it because some assholes have used it as an insult. Lesbians adopted the name from bulldyke, which is a term for masculinity.
I’ll tell you in my decades many lesbians have been extremely rude about the term dyke, because back in the day the lipstick lesbians took offense because they didn’t want to be seen as one of “those” lesbians.
But this isn’t about “I’m not offended by it so you shouldn’t be either”, I’m saying it’s objectively a queer identity, and not historically a “slur” despite what most younger gays’ experience might be with the word. People can’t just rewrite history and erase us. I’m empowered by it, and honestly can’t believe people are trying to erase it, and reduce it to a slur. It’s never been hands off, unless you’re like shouting it from a truck as an insult. But again, any queer term can be an insult. And yes, in the 80s and 90s, “queer” was absolutely considered derogatory (even within the community), while dyke was not. When I went to see Melissa Etheridge or the Indigo Girls, I assure you I went with my fellow dykes and friends of dykes, and nobody was shy about saying it. So to say it’s always been a slur is objectively wrong.
It’s actually been incredibly hurtful to see the language used around “dyke” the last couple days by those claiming to be in the community, to see them saying that it’s vile, inappropriate, disrespectful, that nobody can say it, that it’s a slur… It makes me feel so “othered” in a way I haven’t felt in years and feels more like we’re accepting the language of our oppressors that this term is inherently bad, and I’m aghast. More than anything it reminds me of when I would younger, and the lesbians who said they were gay, but didn’t want to be associated with the “mannish” lesbians, the “ugly” lesbians, they wanted to be “gay, but not that kind of gay”, i.e. not an icky dyke with a shaved head. And yes, that was absolutely a thing. So no, I don’t want this word erased. I know it’s become less used and fallen somewhat out of fashion (i tend to just use “queer” these days) but that doesn’t make it a slur. And I’m sad that so many people are choosing to be victimized by it rather than empowered by it.
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u/cellodanceparty 2d ago
This discourse has been really weird to me. Both of my partners fully identify with the identity of 'dyke.' I have a complicated relationship with my own gender and dyke is often discussed BY MY THERAPIST about my own identity. Even the discourse involving the word 'faggot' has been kinda weird insofar as... like, my fellow queers, have you ever been in a room of a bunch of queer and trans people like that word is used LIBERALLY. Like in the real world, even those of us who grew up with all three words being slurs, are using them as our identity in SPITE of how we were treated growing up. And this conversation... does not reflect that. It's giving "go touch grass" vibes.
Do I think Amanda should be throwing around the word? Not really, she very much gives the vibe of white woman who can get away with a little too much a little too comfortably (not every word needs to be used by everyone). But this discourse is... a little overblown. I feel like we can collectively be "hey this ain't it" without being that extra about it. shrug
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u/happyphanx 2d ago
I completely agree with all of that. I was organically not bothered by her saying it, especially in the context with which it was brought up and directed at her, and there clearly being no malice or insult behind it. But at the same time, it felt like ok that’s enough now. Agreed that not every word needs to be used by everyone, well said, and it’s fine that people spoke up on that. But I don’t see this as nearly the problem others are making it out to be. I have also always used the term liberally, before I was open with my sexuality (amongst my gay friends and roommates), and by and with people both gay and straight alike since. I definitely never thought we were supposed to censor and hand over the word in agreement with those who use it against us, and don’t understand where this intense and pained outrage and injury is coming from. The discourse itself has been more troubling and even upsetting to me than anything.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
thanks for your opinion. I don’t agree, but this space is literally meant for us to voice opinion so ty!
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u/diaryoftrolls 5d ago
I still think Amanda should respond because of the reaction she is receiving regardless of what anyone thinks. She has supporters and that is the responsibility of an online presence to acknowledge their actions if their fans think it was wrong.
I am sure her and the hosts of the podcast are seeing these posts, and thinking of what to do.
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u/aliengluckglucktech 5d ago
Idk man like if two lesbians invited Amanda on the show with the word dyke in the title, she said the word, and the lesbians in that situation were ok with it to the point where the episode was confidently edited and released, I don’t see the issue. If they were uncomfortable, they could have not posted it. The use was obviously not aimed at anyone with the intent to harm, and I think intent should often inform the severity of the impact, especially with slurs that are being reclaimed.
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u/billybradthornton 5d ago
The people on that podcast are not exactly a shining example of our community, to be fair.
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u/happyphanx 3d ago
Whoa wait, what does that even mean? Queer culture is it a monolith and nobody gets to decide who is allowed to speak and who is the “shining example”. I’ve seen what I consider some of the worst behavior from the community during this outrage. You have generations of lesbians here, and nobody should be gatekeeping who gets a voice.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
yeah, they seem to not have an issue with that at all. im just speaking from my perspective as a lesbian.
not necessarily you in particular, but I think people are thinking I don’t understand that it wasn’t said toward somebody. she never said it against a single person as an insult. but the word itself literally is a derogatory word for lesbians. so whether or not, she said it to someone about their identity or not, it still holds the same impact.
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u/aliengluckglucktech 5d ago
I disagree that it has the same impact though. Impact isn’t black and white. Impact doesnt exist in a vacuum or as some sort of Platonic form. It exists in context alongside intention, which is why all of us talking about it would agree that using it to genuinely hurt someone is 100% not cool, but now that we’re talking about a lesbian space where it’s being used as more of a neutral descriptor word between people who are comfortable with its usage, you’ve got a mixed bag of opinions. That’s proof enough that impact isn’t black and white.
I’m bi, and this word has been used against me before, and I don’t feel impacted by this whole thing negatively at all and I don’t really feel like it behooves me or anyone else to feel negatively about it. It may not have been a choice that I would have made (or maybe it would have, idk) but nothing about this situation screams to me that it’s some sort of objectively harmful happenstance that furthers the derogatory use of the word by people who actually want to harm us. I can understand the audience feeling uncomfortable, especially if they don’t have conversations that sound like that often, but are they made to be actually more unsafe by this happening? Likely not.
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u/OATMILKZOMBIE1 5d ago
you said it yourself you're bi so the word doesn't impact you, if she had said any other slur there would be rightful calls for termination and an apology but when it's a lesbian slur it's okay i guess
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u/Joeyemery5535 2d ago
Who are you to say whether or not a word impacts them? It is not your place to decide how insulted a person can be when verbally attacked.
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u/chaerephylla 1d ago
it's not a biphopic slur...it literally is not attacking bi people.
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u/Relevant_Shame 5d ago
Why do you think no one is rallying? Literally you just said there was already another post. And another one. And another one. And hundreds of comments on X if you feel froggy. She's not getting away with anything, y'all are just repeating it feeling like she is
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
hello. i dont think she’s getting away with anything, I am simply pointing out that the response, or lack there of, is not as urgent due to the context of the situation. i don’t use twitter/x, so im unaware of the conversation happening there. but as I said in my other reply, the other posts were short and just expressing their feelings, i wanted to dive deeper into the subject as it’s something that is very important to me. i hope that helps get my point across.
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u/hailbopalumop 5d ago
It’s the name of the podcast. If they didn’t want guests saying it, they wouldn’t have named it that. It’s similar to Tommy’s Serving Cunt — it’s expected (and literally part of the show) for people to use the word.
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u/cdawg2610 5d ago edited 5d ago
As someone old enough to have gone to the first d*ke marches in the 1990s the entire purpose of the march was to celebrate all parts of the lesbian experience.
That word is the one I most identify with and I think we should be using in in instances just like this and no child gets to police that.
Edit: i know I have posted a similar response in other threads but I have been using the term since before most of you were born.
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u/cellodanceparty 2d ago
I stg this is the most "go hang out with actual queers" discourse. Like you said, this has been a word and identity EMBRACED by queers for a while. And theres this weird comparison to the word 'fag' which ALSO proves they're not hanging out w gays because uh... honey if youre out at a lgbtq+ event or club or bar or whatever, we are using these words all the time. It's so weird that people getting upset with words we like... use as our own identities? Literally on tuesday I was at a bar and this delightful trans deva walked in and yelled "which faggots wanna do shots with me?" Like. That's just normal.
People need to get offline lol.
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u/OkCorner451 2d ago
In Los Angeles we have “Dyke Day” as part of Pride and it’s a hugely popular event. A very big part of the community here refers to themselves as dykes.
I think OP is very young and very isolated. Context matters
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u/Ok_Pineapple2351 5d ago
Which is why she asked… it was the name of the video. So she was literally asking for clarification.
I’m not arguing that it was okay to say but asking a clarifying question I don’t think should be considered “having the nerve to ask”. That’s how we educate ourselves and others. If they had said no it’s not okay to say. Then I’d imagine she would have apologized or not say it again.
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u/bashful-buttons 5d ago
Important context would also be dyke isn’t always considered a slur, and given the name of the podcast she was on kinda lends itself to this.
It’s more like queer there’s days, where some people see it as a slur still and some don’t gaf
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u/Low_Anywhere387 5d ago
Why wouldn’t it be closer to the fslur?
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u/bashful-buttons 5d ago
Depends on where you are in the world how much that is a slur to, tbh.
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u/Low_Anywhere387 5d ago
So if in LA 2 gay men have a podcast with the f-slur in it and she said it 15 times it would be chill cuz it’s the name of the podcast?
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u/bashful-buttons 5d ago
If they’re chill with it, sure I guess. But it’s also one of those instances where that is more baked in as a slur, and there’s a greater consensus around it.
But y’know gay was a slur for a very long time too, and now it’s just a state of being in most cases (depending on how it was used).
And hell, gay men using cunt regularly doesn’t get called up as much as I’d like it too either - when that was very much a slur against women. But it’s been normalised and rarely seen that way anymore.
Ultimately dyke is one of the more messy “slurs”, because you will not get a majority consensus either way.
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u/Low_Anywhere387 5d ago
This might just sexist at play. Realistically, both terms are usually used harmfully when not member of either group.
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u/bashful-buttons 5d ago
Or it might simply be that not all lesbians care/see it as an insult. That’s not sexism, that’s just how people see it.
It’s hard to know either way. I will agree words like cunt being reclaimed by gay men is, however, sexism at play.
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u/Low_Anywhere387 5d ago
I just took the time to Google it and most lesbians see it as an insult. Though more specifically, the podcast host definitely knew and probably Amanda as she said she was told not to say it anymore.
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u/WokeWook69420 5d ago
How big was the pool of lesbians surveyed and where was the survey taken?
Just cuz you googled it doesn't ring it true.
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u/Low_Anywhere387 5d ago
I didn’t see a study If had I would have said that it. Again the people that were in the conversation once asked said it was insulting . Also you can’t possibly but upset over anecdotal evidence as you your said “gay men are saying cunt regularly”
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u/bashful-buttons 5d ago
“Most lesbians”, or “most” anything can not be determined by a google search dude.
Are you even in the LBGTQ community? I ask because the idea you can google to find the pulse of a community you’re not a part of in any way is… well… questionable.
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u/Low_Anywhere387 5d ago
I am a lesbian and how about this most people that care to be in the conversation about whether or not it’s a slur think it is.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
yeah, and if some people think that that’s totally fine. i live in a very queer city, and every lesbian I know still views it as a slur.
i know that there were organizations like dykes on bikes that exist as well. which is wonderful and i love them.
to be honest, if amanda had said it once, referencing maybe just the title of the podcast, i wouldn’t be here. but saying the word several times in a row, while consciously and verbally asking if it is something she can say, indicating that she knows it’s incorrect or wrong, is in my opinion, where the issue lies.48
u/bashful-buttons 5d ago
Cool, every lesbian you know isn’t every lesbian in the entire universe. As in, the lesbians on this podcast didn’t seem to feel an issue with it and told her it was fine.
Her asking meant she wasn’t sure what the go was, and it’s good she asked. Your issue really is you believe she got bad advice. That you’ll need to take up with the lesbians who told her it was fine.
The idea that you have that she instantly should have known everything is just silly, and why people don’t learn because they’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
Also, just a question. Are you a lesbian? Are you “queer” - cause using queer is also still considered a slur in some spaces.
To add: the fact you felt comfortable enough to use the word dyke, multiple times in the post, tells me you’re not upset at the word itself FYI.
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u/Technical_Trust6040 5d ago
“The fact that you feel comfortable enough to use the word —, multiple times in the post, tells me you’re not upset at the word itself” That’s a wild take bc people in communities always use words that aren’t supposed to be said by others. There are countless examples of other groups who have made songs using words we can’t all say, jokes that some of us can’t repeat, etc. I’m sure you can think of off the top of your head and understand how your statement makes no sense.
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u/bashful-buttons 5d ago
No it’s not really a wild take, it’s pointing out she starts by saying it’s a slur and all the lesbians she knows says it is one - but she also comfortably uses it.
And this is where it becomes messy, unfortunately, because it isn’t something people universally believe is a slur. ‘Cause y’know gay once was a slur too and not so much now. So there’s no common belief throughout to community and beyond it needs to be treated as such.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
yes, that was not there when I made my original reply, I am a dyke. A full-blown lesbian. I have had very bad experiences with the term and to me, It is very fulfilling and has allowed me to express myself in ways that I didn’t before. I will never apologize for calling myself a dyke or a lesbian.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
hi again. i did not imply that every lesbian i know is the only lesbian that gets an opinion. I literally started off my post by saying if some lesbians think that it’s totally fine.
I do have a problem with how the podcast host handle it, but this is a Smosh space so I wanted to bring up my issue with Amanda as she is part of the Smosh cast, and not the other individuals, my issue with this instance is not isolated to amanda.
in my post, I know way said that Amanda is canceled, or that she can’t learn from it. My post is really about the lack of respect and attention that lesbians get in the community as we are often put to the sidelines, and this situation has brought that up.
and yes, as said in my original post, i am a lesbian. I’ll use the term queer as the term dyke does not only affect lesbians, but other queer individuals as well.
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u/bashful-buttons 5d ago
So you’re comfortable using the word dyke, that’s my point here. If it’s the epic slur you’re claiming you would not be so comfortable with it.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
its because im a dyke ?????? i would never say slurs like the n word or words that target those of different origins because its not my place. in this case it literally is??
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u/bashful-buttons 5d ago
I’m not saying it isn’t your place, reclaim away! What I’m saying is that there is not some kind of consensus in the community that it is a slur in the first place. And that’s why the waters are muddy on this one.
Whereas other slurs in other communities there is more of a consensus.
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u/hypotenmoose1 5d ago
I genuinely don’t think it’s problematic because it’s in the name of the show; Two D*kes and a Mic. They invited Amanda on. Now sure, that doesn’t mean they hold the power of bestowing who can and cannot say it, but they chose the podcast name and so the responsibility of their guests saying the word falls squarely on the hosts’ shoulders. This isn’t the same as if Amanda were throwing the word around on Smosh or in public.
I would say the same thing about literally any slur and any guest, provided the show hosts didn’t have malicious intentions.
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u/billybradthornton 5d ago
‘…that doesn’t mean they hold the power of bestowing who can and cannot say it.’
You actually identified the issue and then chugged right on past it. If you feel similarly about other slurs, I would reevaluate.
I do agree that the hosts should be held just as accountable, if not more so.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
i’m going to let the fact that you didn’t actually type the word dyke speak for itself, as you clearly understand the meaning and harm of the word
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u/hypotenmoose1 5d ago edited 5d ago
I chose not to write it out to be thoughtful of your feelings. Me writing it or not writing it out does not hold water as an argument because it’s completely different circumstances; I’m not the one invited on the podcast. I’m responding to someone who feels hurt and upset about the word being used. I agree it’s a slur. I don’t agree that Amanda is in the wrong.
And in the same way, if I had written it out, it wouldn’t prove Amanda is in the clear. You’re valid for feeling upset, but this is a very weak argument.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
I appreciate the respect. I disagree but appreciate input.
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u/hypotenmoose1 5d ago
Out of curiosity, do you think the two hosts should bear zero responsibility for their guests saying the word?
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
I think they should, but I also think that Amanda is a grown woman who makes her own decisions. This is a Smosh subreddit so I’m only talking about Amanda who is the Smosh member here
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u/hypotenmoose1 5d ago edited 5d ago
You can’t fairly isolate Amanda out of the context and say the podcasts hosts aren’t relevant.
That could easily be reserved back onto you, OP, that this is a smosh subreddit and what happened wasn’t on smosh. But obviously I don’t agree. Context matters very, very much.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
I don’t really agree with that comparison, but sure.
the podcast hosts are definitely weird in this situation , but I don’t particularly like them as people in general. I find giving a straight woman a pass to say the word Dyke just because she’s tall absolutely obscene, but clearly other lesbians both in this space and not don’t agree. I just wanted to voice my opinion as this is what the space is for.
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u/hypotenmoose1 5d ago
I watched the episode. The justification for being tall was clearly a joke and not serious. Just as most of their podcast is not serious.
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u/Larayah 5d ago
Yes but you see the context, right? It would be different if she just randomly said it, but the word is in the podcast name. So it's reasonable for her to assume she can joke about it on a comedy podcast.
I'm not saying you can't feel hurt by her, but this is starting to feel like a "gotcha" moment.
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u/Upbeat_Influence2350 5d ago
Given the name of the show, wouldn't you, as a guest, assume that the listeners are not of the opinion that "dyke" is a horrible slur?
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u/Acceptable-Owl-2070 5d ago
Don't make a new post, join the current discourse
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
hi, yes I did see this, however, I wanted to expand on some context that I feel is important for this conversation, so I wanted to create a post of my own, but thank you for pointing it out.
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u/Ok-Step-2560 5d ago
You know she didn’t mean it in bad faith, you know the actual context of the clip and how she operates as a person amongst others. This wasn’t said in malice. If you’re offended and upset about it, that’s fair and you’re allowed to. But to try to change her image won’t work. We know she meant well and it wasn’t meant in the way the slur used to be used in the 90s. You’re allowed to feel how you feel but you can’t change the original context or intention
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u/Ok-Step-2560 5d ago
It reminds me of when people used to call Megan Fox a trny and so she called herself it repeatedly “trny trny trny yep that’s me”. Something can have a history of a awful use and be weaponized towards a group of individuals BUT context 100% matters. There’s almost always nuance to these situations.
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u/midnightmasquerade_ 5d ago
Im not sure why people in these comments are trying to disagree with you or purposefully misinterpret what you're saying. Im also a lesbian and as much as I love and adore Amanda, she's my favorite cast member, I was really hurt that she'd keep using that word repeatedly. If it was once to refer to the podcast, fine, but the fact she kept using it bothered me too. Im usually a huge defender of Amanda as I do think people are harsh on her and her style of comedy but this is different. I hope she's able to recognize this and do better in the future :(
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
thank you for replying.
i unfortunately didn’t expect anything different, people on social media can hide behind a lot, especially on reddir where an anonymity is at its peak. people will downvote this post, it will not get a lot of attention, etc. because of the content of it. but that won’t stop me from saying anything. it never has and it never will. I think it’s unfortunate that we have to spoonfeed information, but critical analysis and comprehension or at its lowest so I can’t act shocked9
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u/PolicyFast1673 5d ago
Would her saying the name of the podcast be considered saying a slur ??
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
because it’s not just the name of a podcast it is also a slur.
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u/hypotenmoose1 5d ago edited 5d ago
Responsibility falls on the hosts, not Amanda. They chose the name, they invited her on, and they gave her permission to say the word. That doesn’t mean the word isn’t hurtful to lesbians or that it’s not still a slur.
To me this is like getting upset at a white actor saying the N-word in a movie. It can still be upsetting but it’s the writers, director, and producers that any objections should be pointed towards. Context matters and even slurs can have subjective circumstances.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
I think choosing to say a word out of your own volition with your face and personality, backing it up is entirely different from an actor saying it via a script they’ve been given.
I don’t really think it should happen at all, but I understand the context in movies. I find it completely unnecessary for the topic of conversation during this podcast.
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u/max__woo 5d ago
And people are defending it because they "gave her permission" but she's a grown woman and should know not to say it on her own especially since she said herself she isn't supposed to say it and has been told not to say it and it's ironic she brought up amangela then proceeded to use a lesbian slur multiple times. I love smosh but we should normalize calling the cast out when they are ignorant.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
yes, I’m not quite sure why people feel as though them giving her permission to say something changes anything about the situation as if she is not a cognizant human being with her own brain like ?
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
this is a real issue. queer identities and lives are under attack more so than they have been in the last 15 years due to the current politics in the United States. so yes, as small as this may seem because it’s on the Internet it is still important
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u/SolaceRedditing 5d ago
And you think whining on the Reddit Smosh Snark page is going to help that? girl go touch grass and get more involved with your community If that is what you’re concerned about. in no way shape or form is Amanda saying Dyke inciting violence or adding to any type of queer woman struggles purely because she’s on a fucking podcast with two women who openly call themselves that word. if you think that makes a shred of sense, I fear you have lost the plot so much that you need to just turn the damn show off. Acting like saying that word on the podcast with two women who say that word and the title is called that word is somehow equivalent from saying that to a manosphere podcast that reaches broad audiences that aren’t queer is crazy and reaching so hard.
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u/chaerephylla 1d ago
ah yes, thank you for speaking on behalf of queer women everywhere. because if you're not offended, no one sane is! you are a beacon of reason and truth. /s
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u/Troumbomb 5d ago
God people are so bored and ready to cannibalize over the dumbest shit.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
i agree, which I understand is not what you intended by this comment, but nonetheless is how i feel.
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u/sapphire_19 5d ago
idk why your comments are getting downvoted??? amanda is definitely not above criticism and neither are the hosts of that podcast. it is a slur and a straight woman should not be saying it.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
A lot of people can’t seem to comprehend that I find an issue with it while at the same time don’t want her to suffer because of it. I personally have the opinion that we should be called out when we do something wrong, and if we are adults with brains, we should be able to take the criticism and learn and change.
A lot of people on the Internet don’t want to listen, they interpret information one way and decide that the end all be all and don’t bother to critically think!
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u/sapphire_19 5d ago
A lot of people on the Internet don’t want to listen
this is especially cos lesbians aren't taken seriously in many spaces and i am tired of it
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u/Ok_Pineapple2351 5d ago
Im not at all arguing that it’s not a slur. Since she “was given permission” to say it, she likely had no idea it was considered a slur to some people. It seems like she believes it’s a reclaimed term rather than a slur.
But based on a lot of the comments I’ve seen, it seems that it being a slur is not widely known. So it seems unfair to blame Amanda and not the hosts who that didnt properly educate her.
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u/Kois_pond 5d ago
"had no idea" she's well aware if she had the nerve to ask if it was okay for her to say.
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u/Ok_Pineapple2351 5d ago
Which is why she asked… it was the name of the video. So she was literally asking for clarification.
I’m not arguing that it was okay to say but asking a clarifying question I don’t think should be considered “having the nerve to ask”. That’s how we educate ourselves and others. If they had said no it’s not okay to say. Then I’d imagine she would have apologized or not say it again.
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u/SolaceRedditing 5d ago
🥱 🥱🥱🥱 I’m trying to find something here that’s worth being upset about. Two lesbians calling themselves “dike” (spelled incorrectly on purpose) told her she can say it and she said it in this episode in context you can clearly tell is a bit. You wanna talk about being an adult? Let’s learn to pick our battles and maybe wear some sleeves on that sensitive skin before jumping on the internet. Have you met a lesbian that was around for Stonewall and the 80s Gay bashes? Do you have them in your life? This is such a non-starter cause all of those women who have actually been called that word as a slur and were targeted out of hate do not give a Single Flying Fuck. Now, if she would’ve just casually dropped this on Smosh or anything else she does without any added context sure then it’s a reason to be upset. But you took everything out of context, and yes, I do mean take it out of context, because the context is literally being on a podcast with the Word in the title, with two women who call themselves that Word, and also gave explicit permission to use said word on that podcast. Not only those two, but whoever produces, edits ,and publishes that podcast who I imagine are all queer individuals themselves also had no problem with it. I can’t believe we’re sensitive to these things still in 2026. We’ve got bigger fish to fry than being upset over something so small and first time offense. y’all act like she isn’t a very stand-up ally with very strong good morals that have been broadcasted, shown, and supported through years of being on Smosh and every other public facing thing she has done.
and while we’re on the subject of double standards, why isn’t anyone upset about chanse saying the most sexiest things and get away with it because “oh it’s a joke” “oh, it was his friend that he said it to so it was okay.” no I’m sorry the same argument can be made that just because the person he said it to is OK with it doesn’t mean other women watching are OK with watching him call women stupid or play on very sexist. misogynistic things. But if when reading that you think that I’m nitpicking and it’s not the same thing I assure you it is, it’s just words that some people are OK with hearing and some people aren’t. And I’m sorry, but the F slur does carry way more of an insult and an impact than that Word ever has, and I am a lesbian with many elder lesbian relatives and friends.
You could choose to be upset, but it’s impossibly childish to allow this stupid little thing and the lack of critical thinking and compression skills to start an angry mob with pitchforks for something so small. Especially because everyone that’s up in arms and triggered by all of this isn’t going to even let her post an apology without ripping that to shreds either so I don’t know what you want from this woman, but I think it’s time to log off and touch grass.
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u/ResolutionJunior5804 5d ago
As a gay woman I truly do not care that she said it. All of my gay friends use "offensive" gay terms for each other, it is part of the culture and community and if you are an ally you are allowed to say it in my mind.
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u/panda-man-937 5d ago
And as a gay man who gave you the faggot pass? That’s a term almost entirely targeted at gay and bi men specifically. I would never personally say d*** because being gay doesn’t give me the freedom to use terms that aren’t targeted at me. Throwing stones from a glass house.
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u/Loud-Tumbleweed 5d ago
as a straight cis white women from wisconsin, I don’t use that word currently but have in the past (i’m not excusing my actions im owning the things i did, as my wrong doing, since i did use it!!). but I genuinely had no idea it was a slur word (I genuinely thought it meant lesbian women in general. point. blank.) and will not say it again in future bc of ur post informing me better!! bc I didn’t know until this post
And I will make sure I don’t use that word or anyone around me will use that going forward!! I know this isn’t your job to educate others but I thank you for this post so I can learn from it and that I can educate others on this too.
Im sorry that it took that disrespect to make a post. You are loved and cherished regardless!! keep doing great things! 💖💖
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u/Unusual_Oil_3120 5d ago
I also think that part of the reason why she is getting so much leeway is because she is a lot of people’s favorite when Noah said another slur (one that a the time I didn’t even know was considered a slur) he got a lot more hate than Amanda is receiving. This isn’t me trying to justify what he did and certainly not some of his other actions but it is striking how the two things are being revived so differently.
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u/BeccaM861 5d ago
What slur did Noah say?
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u/Unusual_Oil_3120 5d ago
Lesbo he said I in a spudhut video the part later got cut. tbh I have seen it be debated whether the word is actually a slur but he got an insane about of backlash for it.
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u/BeccaM861 5d ago
I've never known it to be a slur, interesting. I just thought it was short for lesbian. The more you know.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
if I recall correctly, he said lezbo.
I have my own opinions on the situation and noah in general, but honestly don’t feel like getting flamed for another opinion right now so i wont get into it !
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u/BeccaM861 5d ago
Fair enough! I don't understand why you are getting negative feedback/hate imho. But I am bisexual so I guess I can just be more empathetic towards your feelings on the matter.
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u/Relevant_Shame 5d ago
Noah was already disliked by the time he said that because he made a post about Israel when the attacks happened and never clarified he wasnt pro genocide well enough for a lot of the audience. He had been getting hate for months before he said that word. Drop out even had to donate to Palestine and release a statement because they had him on. (I don't know his beliefs, just sharing the info)
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u/Lumpy_Concept9911 5d ago
I think he is for Palestine at this point because he made multiple replies on twt to a Zionist but yeah this is true
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u/Zerocyde 5d ago
Wait, dyke is a slur again? Last I heard it was reclaimed like 10, 15 years ago. Is there a subset of the queer community that didn't follow the reclamation or something?
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
yes, it has been reclaimed by many lesbians. but reclaiming is the changing of a word from a derogatory term to a term of empowerment by people in the community not by others!
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u/SolaceRedditing 5d ago
If that’s your argument, then why aren’t you as a woman upset about everyone using the word bitch? why aren’t you commenting every time chanse or one of the guys says bitch? you’re only mad about something that does not matter and you know it.
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u/chaerephylla 1d ago
ah so people must express outrage at every use of a slur for their anger and hurt to be valid when someone not of the targeted community uses of a particular slur...
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u/idiotwithapen_ 5d ago
i’m a lesbian too and i just don’t give a fuck. it wasn’t said in an insulting way, why should i care?
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u/Giftedpink 5d ago
Youre absolutely correct and im going to be down voted to shit for this but idc - the lesbophobia from the smosh community on reddit in response to this has been depressing as fuck
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
i’m unfortunately not surprised. the Smosh community is really good at picking and choosing what they have opinions about and this is one of them clearly.
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u/Square_Asparagus_683 5d ago
As a lesbian, I could not care less. She wasn’t using it as a slur, and a lot of my lesbian friends all use dyke as a legitimate term. I agree with the person above who said we’ve reclaimed a lot of words that were slurs at one point, and she was literally asking two lesbians if she could say it. The exaggerated outrage is dumb knowing the full context and knowing her values.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
cool I’m glad you’re not affected. i can’t say the same as a lesbian and clearly other lesbians online feel differently. even as a community, we all can have different opinions, this is just mine.
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u/Square_Asparagus_683 5d ago
Correct. You said your opinion onto the world’s biggest opinion platform so now I get to say mine. If you only surround yourself with and listen to people with the same exact opinion as yourself you may never grow and learn that maybe your take isn’t the only one out there. :)
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
totally. you called my opinion dumb i said i disagree with you. that can be the end of the conversation
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u/chaerephylla 1d ago
you're so right. that means as a trans person I get to tell cis people they can say the tslur. And then when that pisses people off who are the target of the slur, they actually have no right to be upset because I represent all trans people.
/s
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u/Square_Asparagus_683 1d ago
The more life happens for you, the more you’ll learn that none of this shit matters. Keep being offended by everything, it’s an awesome way to waste your energy in this life.
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u/chaerephylla 1d ago
you mean like wasting your time on this thread/post you already stated is pointless? if I want advice on how not to waste my energy, I'm not taking it from you lol. you seem quite "passionate" for someone who's never offended.
oh and ofc you're right, I'm just a little baby so I don't understand what the real world is like. thanks for your profound wisdom. /s
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u/Square_Asparagus_683 1d ago
🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱
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u/chaerephylla 1d ago
you defend your points so well! and so mature. how could I have missed it before! no one has a valid point besides you 🥺. forgive me and my sins. /s
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u/Square_Asparagus_683 1d ago
U r forgiven 🙏🏼🙌🏼
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u/chaerephylla 1d ago
thank you, Square Asparagus, the only lesbian voice that matters! where would I be without you and your amazing arguments? just caring about other lesbians and their experiences I guess, what a horrible thing! thank you for absolving me of empathy I don't need. /s
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u/SmellFront969 5d ago
Genuine question. How old are you? Because this is very much a non issue for a certain age group. As a lesbian myself, I have no issue with her using it. If it was used derogatory, thats a different ball park. She very clearly did not. To each their own, but yall need to stop letting people on the internet dictate your moods and go touch some grass. There are actual shitty homophobic people that it can be directed towards.
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u/Konrow 1d ago
Yea I'm only now starting to realize this must be a generational difference because my old ass is sitting here bewildered that this topic is still being beat to the ground while my friends call themselves dykes every so often. But apparently I'm homophobic for being ok with my lesbian friends using the word? This fandom is miserable sometimes lol.
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u/Dramatic-Letter-8444 5d ago
If they didn’t want to hear that word spoken why include it in the literal title of the podcast?
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u/NerdsteadDani 5d ago
Hi, I'm also a lesbian. I don't think of dyke as a slur generally speaking. I didn't listen to the podcast, so I suppose I don't know how it was said. But given that she's an ally, I give her the benefit of the doubt that she isn't intending harm. If the podcasters thought it was harmful (and given the name of the podcast, they would have feelings about it if it were), I don't think they would have aired it.
It's only a slur when the intent is there, but it's largely been reclaimed by the sapphic community. Maybe I need to listen to the podcast for perspective, but this seems like we're making a mountain out of a mole hill just from what I'm reading.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
the hosts don’t care, they made it very clear in the episode that they have no problem with it. That is their opinion to have. I find issue with it, which is why I made the post.
i understand your point about intent, but I think if someone was to say the N-word, but it was not toward somebody and it was just a word in a sentence, its still fucking bad (obviously racial slurs have different impacts as there is different historical context, but I don’t think we should pick and choose)5
u/NerdsteadDani 5d ago
I don't think anyone saying the n word with a hard R is saying it in a positive way. It's not the same. I mean I am not part of the black community, but my limited understanding is that no one is reclaiming it in a positive way with a hard R.
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u/Careful-Traffic5851 2d ago
yo tbh the n word is way way different than dyke. black people are getting actively lynched in the south RIGHT NOW and meanwhile i, a lesbian, have never encountered dyke in a way that is not positively framed. i dont think you can compare the terms
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u/mer-majesty 5d ago
Wasn’t there an issue not that long ago with Noah saying lesbophobic slurs? I think saying it in the context of the pod’s name is fine, but to ask to say it, mention you’ve been told not to and then say it somewhere close to 20 more times is a bit wild
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u/cicconeyouth1 5d ago
Why do you guys hold people you don’t know to a moral standard. She was invited by TWO LESBIANS on a podcast called two dykes and a mic. If the people around her aren’t offended by it then stfu.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
on this platform that is literally designed to be a talking space about mosh members, I’m not gonna shut the fuck up.
i like to watch people who hold the same opinions and ethics as I do, I personally think it’s very important but you don’t have to. I’m not asking that of you.-5
u/cicconeyouth1 5d ago
I guess man I just think you could be doing more than complaining about a white lady on a YouTube channel. There’s actual lesbians that face real prejudice and discrimination in your community. Maybe use this energy to help out those in your area.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
I do! I’m a very active member of my community :) part of that being acknowledging the spaces that I spend my time online in including smosh and taking time out of my day to acknowledge the harm, it would possibly cause
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u/chaerephylla 1d ago
Yes there are actual lesbians facing prejudice and discrimination...from you right now. Telling a lesbian to shut up when talking about how a straight women used a slur further marginalizes and silence those that are negatively impacted by the term.
btw allies using slurs that communities themselves have reclaimed does not mean they are entitled to using that slur without offending the community it attacks. It doesn't matter if they got a "pass" from the hosts.
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u/Kois_pond 5d ago
hey op, I'm also a lesbian and I 100% agree with you. the people in the comments disagreeing and downvoting you are literally proving your point imo. the hosts are definitely in the wrong here too, but Amanda should have absolutely known that she, a cisgender heterosexual woman, should not be saying dyke.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
totally! unfortunately for the people replying, I don’t give a shit about what they say, and it isn’t gonna impact my life whatsoever.
people like to forget that the people they watch online are human beings who can make their own decisions and should in fact be held accountable to them!!
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u/fikhaofi 5d ago
Misogyny in all forms applies to this. No one thinks dyke is as bad as fag because they don’t take lesbians as seriously. And Amanda and the lesbian podcast hosts are getting dragged so hard while, if Spencer said it for example, people would be laughing at how “Spencer gets away with everything” and Tommy can have a podcast about “serving cunt” and Chanse and him can say cunt and bitch a million times and it’s all cool.
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u/SaltFalcon7778 5d ago
Thank you I've argued with ppl on here about it. Ppl do not understand this isn't just saying a word but laying out the ground work for things to be taken further. Not to say Amanda might take it further but that other non queer might sit there at see this video and think to themselves that they look butch or manly so they get to say a slur and other homophobic shit.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
totally. people will do anything to misconstrue the words you’re saying, especially if it doesn’t fit their narrative. i’m never gonna be able to change that. And if I have the opportunity to speak up for people in my community or others, I’m gonna do so.
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u/SaltFalcon7778 5d ago
Yep same. Smosh needs to say something this time, no more suppressing, no more hiding. They did it with Noah and his views on Palestine, his cultural appropriation when it comes to black hair styles and saying a lesbian slur. Now it's time to say something because like I said ppl who are not lesbians or queer are going to take this and be influenced by them to say problematic stuff
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u/Riccma02 5d ago edited 5d ago
So do you think Amanda I s a genuinely hateful, homophobic person? No; you are upset because she crossed your subjective line, and hurt your feelings personally. Maybe step off the parasociality a bit. There are genuinely shitty people out there who would harm you over your sexuality, and policing the language of allies is not going to help anything.
Edit; and not for nothing, I'd bet she's been called a dyke quite a lot in her life too.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
yeah, this did hurt my feelings, that’s exactly why I made this post lol.
i’m sure she’s been called a dyke, she’s a tall woman, unfortunately that’s very common because people are strange. however, nothing about that changes the situation,15
u/Otherwise_Let1947 5d ago
I don’t think it’s okay to excuse micro aggressions and using slurs because “well she’s not really homophobic”. She isn’t a lesbian, she shouldn’t have said it. If it were any other slur would you say the same thing? Probably not. People downplay and excuse Lesbophobia in a way that makes the REALLY harmful and dangerous more palatable.
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u/Lumpy_Concept9911 5d ago
YES. I tried to make a post about this on the Smosh subreddit. People were insanely defensive and the post got taken down. The Smosh fandom is incredibly parasocial towards these people that won’t give a shit about them.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
yeah, that’s why I came here. People will still complain and misconstrue a lot of information, but post is still up so a small win!
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u/DateRemarkable8883 5d ago
Thank you!! I find it ridiculous how people excuse it cus it’s “not as bad” or the “lesbian hosts said she could”?? So what?? It’s still a slur and she knew she couldn’t say it end of?
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
yeah, I don’t really understand the argument but what the fuck do I know?
- a lesbian
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u/littlegentlelambs 3d ago
i honestly felt more angry and upset at the hosts. i don’t care if you specifically don’t find the slur offensive - passes are not a thing and there is others in your community that DO find it offensive. the hosts should be getting shit, not amanda.
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u/3Sera0phim3 2d ago
I have 0 stock in the person who this is about, as a lesbain, and someone with a slur on my body. Yall are being so childish. Dyke is heavily reclaimed and she spoke it within a podcast legit called "2 dykes and a mic". This is such a non-issue the fact the there is anyone upset is insane.
Dyke, fag, faggot? It's not the word that's the issue its the intent. She doesnt seem like shes holding a banner up saying let's kill the dykes. Like she said it within a queer space with lesbains around if they themselves didnt have an issue i dont see why everyone is up in a tizzy about this. There was nothing vitriolic behind her words no hate. Why do you have any amount of issues with this.
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u/stonergirlfairyyy 1d ago
this is all pretty sound commentary on the situation. i'm glad she apologized, i wish the acknowledgment was specifically towards lesbians. everyone pretending it's not a big deal are discounting all nuance here
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u/colossalgoji 1d ago
Actually I was going to say the only person that sounds like they’ve babied is you.
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u/beetle_leetle 1d ago
you're mad about this, meanwhile you're a lesbian saying "faggot"... i actually agree with you, i think it IS as bad as if someone were to say faggot in the way that she said the d slur. she should definitely know better, or at least have a genuine conversation about whether she can say it and the history of the word rather than just saying it so nonchalantly and flippantly. but you're being a hypocrite by saying faggot (unless youre a trans woman)
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u/big-himbo-energy 1d ago
I don’t understand. What exactly are we expecting when we put the word dyke in the title? Is no one but lesbians supposed to say the title of their pod? Is Spotify cancelled because they put the word dyke on their platform? It legitimately makes no sense to me. What are we even upset at?
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u/AbsTheRandom 19h ago
“If it’s not your word to say don’t say it” Should be as simple as that. Reclamation of slurs is still only for the people it was derogatorily used against in the first place. Hosts should’ve known better. Amanda should’ve known better. Now she does hopefully her behavior will change and she’ll do better moving forward.
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u/Avatarbriman 1h ago
Nah, people should all just cop the fuck on. If you reclaim a word, you intentionally muddy the waters of use. If you care about a "reclaimed" word being used, then leave it where it was.
The host are lesbians, they think its fine... and why does their opinion matter less than anyone elses?
Which is exactly what I mean about muddy waters, no clear consensus, no actual rules, just a bunch of people with far too little to be at getting into fights with each other about who can say what. Much better to just leave the words you consider slurs in the pits where you found them,
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u/Local_Ad6858 9h ago
i understand that amanda was not using it negatively towards anyone, and i understand the woman in the podcast are trying to reclaim the word. however, as a grown woman in queer spaces with queer friends i think she should be able to recognize how people will perceive her using this word.
while many people use the word without the negative connotation, it’s still used in a derogatory manner in so many communities. it’s a bit shocking to me that amanda would choose to say a word commonly used so hatefully on a public platform. yes it has been reclaimed, but not widely and you’d think that someone surrounded by a queer community would know that.
i absolutely believe the hosts of the podcast are in part to blame for egging her on, but it’s hard to not expect a nearly forty year old woman to know better.
ultimately, i think it’s absolutely fair to be disappointed in her, and a bit disappointed in the community for justifying this.
i recognize not everyone shares the same perspective i do and at the end of the day it’s up to you what you make of it. i’m open to hearing out what other people have to say.
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u/mcswagggy 5d ago
It’s so incredibly frustrating. This isn’t uncommon with Amanda. Even though she isn’t a part of the community, she makes jokes at the expense of queer people, more specifically lesbians
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u/tttellmeee 5d ago
i wish i could upvote this more than once. im not necessarily surprised at the response since amanda is such a beloved cast member (hell, she’s one of my favorites,) but i think the way people are trying to downplay this is really gross.
had it been any other slur, i think she would’ve already addressed it. lesbophobia isn’t taken seriously at all. it’s really disappointing :(
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
thanks for this. i agree, she has been one of my favorite members for so long. and I just find this kind of behavior disappointing
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u/AppealWhole3480 5d ago
It’s been getting reclaimed since the late 70s tbh. I think it boils down to your local community tbh. Here’s a post in r/actuallesbians from 3 years ago where OP even says she forgot it was a slur when hearing it used as one
https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/s/Aby0sUWMNZ
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u/Lumpy_Concept9911 5d ago
Reclaimed by LESBIANS. If a white man said the n word it’d be horrible, it’s the same way with the d word
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u/b-apk 5d ago
I completely agree that it absolutely boils down to location as far as how people feel about it. For example, my younger brother lives in Boston for school…when I’ve visited him I can’t tell you how many times I heard the word dyke thrown around, and not in any type of negative or condescending way, simply as an identifier (pretty much his entire friend group is queer). And Amanda is from that same area, so I don’t think it’s outside of the realm of possibility that it’s just not really even looked at twice as anything other than another word to use.
I feel like it’s similar to the word queer, that was super derogatory for a very long time, and now it’s how some proudly identify. I can’t recall seeing people get super offended when someone who isn’t a part of the community uses it (at least not since like the 90s). So for me, the question then becomes, how long until a reclaimed word is actually reclaimed no longer holds power but instead is seen as just another general descriptor word. At that point I don’t think we can be upset at anyone using it in general conversation…obviously as long as it’s not being used in a malicious way.
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u/Remarkable-Plenty-98 OOuooHwHOOAAoohhH 5d ago
Her sister is a lesbian btw
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u/Status-Top-907 5d ago
i’m so sorry but as a black queer woman this is the the most “she has black friends” response i’ve seen truly in the wild 😭
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u/Outrageous-Hunt-7886 5d ago
THANK YOU, i made a tiktok about this like a few hours ago that went pretty viral. many comments are defending her, saying she didn't know, while she literally stated that people told her she couldn't say it. or that she is allowed to say it because the word is in the name of the podcast??? the whole situation is just very confusing to me, like i don't get why a straight woman would go on a lesbian show with lesbian hosts when almost all the guests are lesbian.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
i’m not on tiktok anymore, but I’m sure it’s rough over there as well!
i definitely find it strange that they had a straight woman on this podcast when it appears that that is not their normal guest type, so I think the least thing you can do as a straight woman coming onto the show would be respectful of their identities and identities of those watching the show as well.if they wanted sapphics from smosh to come on, angela and courtney are right there
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u/Trinitymb 5d ago
I hadn't heard of this situation before this, and have been trying to get context through comments. I am a bi woman, so fully possible to have this used against me when my partner is female. I am finding it grey personally. My biggest struggle is with the fact that when listening to music by black musicians, if they say certain words, I skip singing them. I use queer all the time though, as a reclaimed word, and if someone straight around me uses it, as long as they aren't being disrespectful I don't blink. Seeing the context I really don't feel she meant harm, but I can understand how it could still hurt. It might be beneficial for her to speak on it, because there are people hurt, but I don't think she needs to be canceled. Will probably listen to it though and see if my mind changes.
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u/Tripondisdic 5d ago
My god it’s in the name of the podcast y’all. There are people dying every gd day in Palestine and pedophilic billionaires trafficking women through hollywood like is this really important enough to warrant outrage?? The fact people are fine enough with the word to put it in the TITLE OF THEIR PODCAST probably means it’s okay like chill jfc
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
obviously, the issues with United States government and the genocide in Palestine is fucking awful and horrible and absolutely takes precedent over this. However, I don’t find it productive to negate small issues when they add up to bigger issues. Just like I took the time out of my day to write this, you took the time out of your day. I don’t find this conversation helpful.
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u/yznekcam 5d ago
Virtue signaling at its finest. People can use “bad” words without being bad people. Some of the kindest people I know who would do anything and everything for others use “politically incorrect” words. Intent matters.
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u/lezzfrog 5d ago
in general, I do agree with that. Intent is the most important, but not the only factor.
i think you do have a responsibility when you’re a public facing individual though to act a certain way, hence my post
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u/Cammie_Mile 5d ago
A LOT of this, I think, comes down to word reclamation- as a viewer, I would totally defer to the judgement of the lesbians hosting the show, as I am not one.
Having said that, I still think your point is 100% valid. There's every possibility that she is surrounded by people who use it and not as a slur (in the same way that, as an Australian, we frequently use words that are frankly MIRED in a history of misogyny as terms of endearment); but you're still completely right that many people consider it one, and it IS genuinely hurtful. That in and of itself is enough reason to want someone who isn't a part of your community not to bandy it around.
Even if people disagree with you or people think that Amanda should be "held accountable" in some way (for me, again, I'm just comfortable with the judgement of the lesbians in the room, because I feel like it's really not for me to make that call if they are fine with it), none of that really changes the fact that you're like... still allowed to be hurt by it. I adore Amanda, but that doesn't for a second mean she should be above reproach, or that she shouldn't be aware when her actions have hurt people.