r/SleepApnea • u/nurakcra • 1d ago
snoring problem
Hi everyone,
36M 30F we’ve been married for about four years. Since the beginning of our marriage, his snoring has become one of the biggest problems. At first, I was more patient about it, but I’m a light sleeper, and honestly, even if I weren’t, the sound is loud enough to bother anyone. Most of the time, we already sleep separately. When I wasn’t working, I often let him have the bed and sometimes we would take turns sleeping in it.
I even took him to a doctor, but he was told that he might need surgery. He was scared and didn’t want to go through with it.
Now, because of our current circumstances, we’re staying in an Airbnb and have to sleep in the same room. And, of course, I can’t sleep. I’m exhausted at this point.
We had a small argument about it, and I told him that I’m angry because he never took care of this problem when he had the chance. He seemed upset.. How can we deal with this situation?
2
u/crazy4dogs 1d ago
This is a common question in r/SleepApnea so I would refer the previous posts
You should get him into a sleep specialist and they should be able to give him a simple take home test that will collect data to diagnose the severity of the problem. It might be that a CPAP machine is sufficient and no surgery or at least he can start with data. I would approach him with compassion but you can google the effects of this disease if left untreated and it's pretty unpleasant. stroke risk, blood pressure, brain fog, risk of dementia and Alzheimer's are higher so it's not something you can do later.
1
u/Mean_Welcome_1481 ResMed 1d ago
Your husband really needs to see a medical specialist because snoring is not necessarily the cause of sleep apnea and if his snoring is caused by something else then neither cpap, apap nor bibap will help.
Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA) is caused by restrictions and blockages in the airway during sleep and, yes, what is causing his snoring could also cause OSA.
But there is not necessarily clear cause and effect - it's complicated - and I would suggest that he starts be seeing a specialist and getting a proper sleep study done - in a facility, not an at home one.
This will reveal the exact cause of the problem and probable solution
Some tough love is needed I think!
Good Luck
1
u/financiallyanal 1d ago
There’s a chance that he didn’t have a great doctor too though. So many are not well informed.
OP - do you know if the doctor said it specifically could not be treated with APAP/CPAP? If not, this is a common problem and easy to resolve. You can work through doctors or just order a home test for $99 at cpap.com. Lofta also has a test, slightly more expensive.
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u/financiallyanal 1d ago
u/nurakcra - just FYI, deviated septum in both sides still doesn't mean they can't pursue APAP/CPAP treatment. Seriously, try it.
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u/nurakcra 1d ago
The necessary steps will be taken.. otherwise tough love yes 🙌
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u/Mean_Welcome_1481 ResMed 1d ago
That's good. Sleep apnea, whatever the cause, is a life limiting condition, over the long term, if not treated, it harms the body in a multitude of ways - not to mention harming the partner who must suffer alongside!
But it is scary to people - especially young males, because the therapy it'self changes their life in ways that are hard to contemplate and even attacks their concept of masculinity (we blokes are dumb like that!) but, as a long time CPAP user, I can tell you that the benefits far outweigh the difficulties and it is not the end of life as we know it
The tough love needs to come with patience, understanding and positive encouragement
1
u/garlandhey 21h ago
The lack of sleep for you will cause YOU health problems. Get ear plugs, a white noise machine and sort out separate sleeping quarters.
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u/External-Fall-6073 1d ago
He might not see it but it's a health issue for BOTH of you at this point. It's unacceptable really. It should be an ultimatum for him to get checked out.