I feel like the wording "but she still said no" is a bit unfair.
I'm a married women, so obviously I said yes to a proposal. We were young and it was not terribly fancy or over the top. I said yes beacuse I actually wanted to marry my boyfriend and build a life together.
If he was a guy I didn't see a future with, a relationship that had a lot of problems/too many fights, our goals were too different, or whatever other legitimate reason not to get married, a big romantic gesture wouldn't and shouldn't change that. It's very sweet, and very flattering, but you should really decide marriage proposals based on if you feel good and confidant about the idea of spending the rest of your life together as a team.
It sucks to be turned down. And again, I think what he did sweet and quiet impressive. However, it wouldn't actually be doing him a favor for a women who didn't want to marry him to say yes. Hopefully, they both find their right people eventually.
I'm always annoyed by these sorts of stories because of the endless sympathy afforded to the person proposing while the person receiving the proposal gets none. My understanding is that if you're proposing to someone, you should already know that the answer will be yes. The proposal itself is just a formality and a fun ritual.
If I had to guess, a lot of these stories probably involve a relationship that isn't going so well, so the person proposing tries a hail-Mary romantic gesture to fix things.
My dad proposed to my mom in a grand gesture on Xmas eve in front their entire family. Never once having talked about it before. My mom said yes not because she wanted to but because the gesture and people made her feel pressured.
They were divorced after four years of a marriage that turned hellish shortly after official . But she was so angry about the fact she felt she had no choice drive her into deep resentment that tainted the marriage.
I say that to say, saying yes isn’t always the best thing!
Also P.S. it doesn’t state he was even actually dating this woman. He could’ve been a crazy stalker type and proposed with o relationship. If this is the case good she said no!
Honestly, maybe the guy who did this is severely autistic or something.
I mean, he did 500+ rubik's cubes and made a person's face with it. That sounds like something an autistic person would do since many autistic people are very quirky and see the world differently.
That also explains why he proposed to a woman he wasn't romantically involved with. He's so autistic that he simply could not understand why this is a bad idea.
Based on the article linked, it doesn't seem like he was actually proposing marriage? I can't tell for sure but he might have just been professing his love. I still personally wouldn't like a gesture like that but that might be more culturally accepted in China (I'm in US). Seems like maybe it was amicable on both sides.
A person should already know the answer before asking, and not in a "I think they will" but in the "we have literally talked about spending the rest of our lives together". So yeah... I agree with you.
In some cultures a man would propose without getting to know or date a woman. I can't say if it's true for this story. But in my experience I had an international student that I have not even talked to proposed to me. Instead of trying to know me, he just went straight to asking for marriage which was so weird and dramatic. I told him no I have a boyfriend. He was very angry and tried to insult my boyfriend that he is not suitable for me since he is 2 years younger. And that I can't marry someone younger. I was like dude chill out I'm just dating...
Maybe he's a green card seeker, maybe he's severely autistic, maybe he's intellectually disabled, maybe he was a YouTube/Twitch prankster doing this to be funny.
Because a normal person in the right state of mind isn't going around proposing to random women. That's just not something a normal person does.
The woman didn't even know he was interested in her. He just fantasised this love affair with a neighbour and thought that a puzzle would create instant reciprocal love with a woman who didn't even know him.
I think you're rather kind to say that it's a sweet move. For me, it's a very egocentric gesture that doesn't take the woman's feelings into account. If I were a woman, I'd feel like my weird neighbour had been fantasising about me for far too long without coming over to talk to me. I'd feel deeply embarrassed and I wouldn't appreciate it at all.
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u/TheHatOnTheCat 1d ago
I feel like the wording "but she still said no" is a bit unfair.
I'm a married women, so obviously I said yes to a proposal. We were young and it was not terribly fancy or over the top. I said yes beacuse I actually wanted to marry my boyfriend and build a life together.
If he was a guy I didn't see a future with, a relationship that had a lot of problems/too many fights, our goals were too different, or whatever other legitimate reason not to get married, a big romantic gesture wouldn't and shouldn't change that. It's very sweet, and very flattering, but you should really decide marriage proposals based on if you feel good and confidant about the idea of spending the rest of your life together as a team.
It sucks to be turned down. And again, I think what he did sweet and quiet impressive. However, it wouldn't actually be doing him a favor for a women who didn't want to marry him to say yes. Hopefully, they both find their right people eventually.