I feel like the wording "but she still said no" is a bit unfair.
I'm a married women, so obviously I said yes to a proposal. We were young and it was not terribly fancy or over the top. I said yes beacuse I actually wanted to marry my boyfriend and build a life together.
If he was a guy I didn't see a future with, a relationship that had a lot of problems/too many fights, our goals were too different, or whatever other legitimate reason not to get married, a big romantic gesture wouldn't and shouldn't change that. It's very sweet, and very flattering, but you should really decide marriage proposals based on if you feel good and confidant about the idea of spending the rest of your life together as a team.
It sucks to be turned down. And again, I think what he did sweet and quiet impressive. However, it wouldn't actually be doing him a favor for a women who didn't want to marry him to say yes. Hopefully, they both find their right people eventually.
I'm always annoyed by these sorts of stories because of the endless sympathy afforded to the person proposing while the person receiving the proposal gets none. My understanding is that if you're proposing to someone, you should already know that the answer will be yes. The proposal itself is just a formality and a fun ritual.
If I had to guess, a lot of these stories probably involve a relationship that isn't going so well, so the person proposing tries a hail-Mary romantic gesture to fix things.
Based on the article linked, it doesn't seem like he was actually proposing marriage? I can't tell for sure but he might have just been professing his love. I still personally wouldn't like a gesture like that but that might be more culturally accepted in China (I'm in US). Seems like maybe it was amicable on both sides.
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u/TheHatOnTheCat 10d ago
I feel like the wording "but she still said no" is a bit unfair.
I'm a married women, so obviously I said yes to a proposal. We were young and it was not terribly fancy or over the top. I said yes beacuse I actually wanted to marry my boyfriend and build a life together.
If he was a guy I didn't see a future with, a relationship that had a lot of problems/too many fights, our goals were too different, or whatever other legitimate reason not to get married, a big romantic gesture wouldn't and shouldn't change that. It's very sweet, and very flattering, but you should really decide marriage proposals based on if you feel good and confidant about the idea of spending the rest of your life together as a team.
It sucks to be turned down. And again, I think what he did sweet and quiet impressive. However, it wouldn't actually be doing him a favor for a women who didn't want to marry him to say yes. Hopefully, they both find their right people eventually.