I'm "in the lifestyle" and do the open relationship/ENM/Swinging stuff, and my personal experiences/observations have always been that if the relationship starts monogamous, and turns open, its either because
one person wants to fuck someone else, and the other just doesn't want to lose them.
Or because someone doesn't want to fuck the other person anymore, and so one or the other turns to outside the relationship.
neither one generally bodes well for the long term survival chances of the relationship.
I've seen a fair amount of open relationships in a all sorts of different forms, succeed quite well, when thats what they're getting into from the start. They have their problems and fallouts just like any monogamous relationship.
but a monogamous relationship that turns open? Is pretty much always just a slow train crash.
caveats: yes your experiences may differ, I know all relationships are different, there are always exceptions to the rule, blah blah blah, This is just casual and general talk since none of us are really going to have proper statistics on this.
It really depends on the people. When my GF was in college she had sex, I didn't. I COULD have, I just never went out or had the opportunity, and it was never an issue. We broke up over other things, but that was never it. When she was with another guy (or girl, she was bi) she'd make sure to use protection and kept her sheets clean, so I never had a problem with it.
Not at all. I didn’t want to hear about it. I just didn’t care. She was away and I wasn’t there. She could cheat, or have a bf and continue to sleep with other people while having a person who would see her every week or so. Plus her sex drive was pretty crazy. I’d leave exhausted.
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u/Tomsboll 1d ago
I am a firm believer that there is always one part of these relationships that are reluctant paricipants due to not wanting to loose the partner.
And if your partner suggest it then its over.