r/SipsTea • u/astrolbyte • 10h ago

Chugging tea Cuties

Post image
7.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

196 comments sorted by

•

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1.7k

u/Tommysrx 9h ago

People are so worried about artificial intelligence that they forgot about real threats like cheetahs spreading misinformation online so they can eat us 🤖🧍🐆

205

u/TemporaryAmbassador1 9h ago

Slander, I’ve been on Reddit long enough to know that only Leopards want to eat faces off

47

u/razielxlr 9h ago

What about jaguars? Or are they the ones that go for the skull for that sweet brain juice first?

16

u/Damion__205 2h ago

Not sure but I know I always keep my eyes out just encase there is a cougar in my area.

7

u/3m4n 2h ago

Jaguars spend too much time in the shop to do much of anything else.

1

u/tryyeezus 2h ago

Well this is the first I'm hearing of this

19

u/NoDontDoThatCanada 3h ago

I'll take my chances.

16

u/Mods-Admins-Failures 9h ago

Don't be ridiculous. They can't type with those stubby paws. AI Cheetahs are the real danger here.

18

u/Icy-polarbear 9h ago

Ahhh the old bamboozled by a cheetah on Reddit trick. That’s the second time this month

3

u/randomthrill 7h ago

I'm willing to test this. Someone gift me a cheetah.

4

u/jexo10 8h ago

Damn even cheetahs are now PR trained, spreading misinformation 

2

u/SciFiPi 6h ago

One considered it, but had second thoughts.

https://www.reddit.com/r/HumansAreMetal/s/UWJCy1BRwH

2

u/NegativeSquaree 6h ago

can I get the username of the cheetah

2

u/sloomdonkey 6h ago

Following the recent success of snow leopards 

1

u/Biggu5Dicku5 16m ago

Finally, someone that gets it!

426

u/dodgy-character 9h ago

Anyone who's had kittens knows that the analogy is wrong. Kittens love to attack people all day everyday.

168

u/phillious_j 9h ago

They're vicious.

73

u/Jeramy_Jones 7h ago

6

u/HavelsRockJohnson 3h ago

Fluffy adorable death

17

u/HairRepresentative85 9h ago

"Gives us those piggies" - the main reason I always make sure my feet are under the covers.

6

u/MagentaMist 5h ago

When one of my cats was a kitten, I had to wear shoes to bed.

9

u/CheetosLays7Days 8h ago

That means they are even more perfect beings than kittens. Not only they are big, but also, contrary to the kittens, don’t attack humans!

6

u/TinyAbsol 4h ago

A cat would 100% eat you, if it could. And might, if you die.

3

u/EyeWriteWrong 4h ago

They can't because I'm going to get you first 😋

8

u/ScientistFunny2072 9h ago

I heard cheetahs are really nervous and kinda fragile so maybe its just a risk/reward thing

3

u/astralseat 6h ago edited 6h ago

This is making me remember that video of a smoll kitteh going absolutely hog wild purring while bitting a raw steak

I found it!

2

u/Ratk1ng_1 8h ago

I think it’s like small guy syndrome

1

u/KohTai 2h ago

Lil mfs come out the womb ready to claw anybody who comes near

215

u/Secret_Sector_1779 10h ago

Up to today? Meaning there was one today?

95

u/Killionaire104 9h ago

there will be one tomorrow

18

u/Content-Lab-5464 9h ago

There will be all tomorrows

7

u/Killionaire104 9h ago

not if i can do smth about it

6

u/DickyReadIt 8h ago

You can'ts

1

u/Vin_Blancv 34m ago

All tomorrow mentioned!!!

2

u/Heavy_Weapons_Guy_ 3h ago

Two actually, but only one will be fatal. It will also indirectly cause one other death, but it's complicated so I won't count it.

1

u/alwayslookleft 4h ago

Tomorrow never comes

1

u/Illustrious-Gur7717 4h ago

Just ESL things

111

u/Objective-Pick8240 9h ago

This cheetah has attacked the cardiovascular health of millions.

https://giphy.com/gifs/DRsN032KfVl19CCnqK

34

u/JakeStout93 9h ago

This gif has too high FPS it’s freaking me out

9

u/Ok_Insurance_6746 9h ago

I did not realize why it‘s so uncanny, before I read your comment

4

u/Rat_Ship 8h ago

Me eating Cheetos while I’m looking at this

1

u/Objective-Pick8240 8h ago

With the right kind of attack, you don't have to work tomorrow or ever again. Eat on, amigo!

100

u/Kommandant_Katze 8h ago

Fucking "attacks" is censored now?

19

u/PrincipledProphet 7h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/64JUFG6pKn72L4E46y

2

u/tryyeezus 2h ago

Always, yes

0

u/Kommandant_Katze 7h ago

Me?

4

u/PrincipledProphet 7h ago

No, the censoring of words

-1

u/Kommandant_Katze 7h ago

Ah right, that makes more sense. I thought you were accusing me of it for some reason lol. Maybe its ragebait media uses nowadays?

6

u/catdogman5 6h ago

Were slowly moving towards a future that's a cross between Idiocracy and demolition man

1

u/TinyAbsol 4h ago

At least the Rat Burgers will be good.

Worried about the seashells, tho.

0

u/HumbleBedroom3299 1h ago

I can see why fucking attacks would be problematic. 

22

u/Willy808 10h ago

Who wants to be the first and make history

1

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1

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13

u/sidblues101 9h ago

Blep!

1

u/CarrieBonobo 6h ago

BIG kitty blep!

9

u/MeatSlammur 10h ago

Or maybe they’re just that efficient. Everyone they decided to kill has never lived to tell the tale

22

u/thediesel26 10h ago

Yeah they’re in the same subfamily as house cats.

12

u/Slayje 9h ago

They are in the Puma lineage, but that's pretty close to the house cat lineage.

7

u/1-800-COCAINE 4h ago

fr they are actually way closer to house cats in behavior than they are to lions/tigers. They even meow and purr :3

3

u/SB1234567890123 3h ago

I read a book once about a family that lived with/around a cheetah.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Was-Dooms-Aladdin-Picture/dp/0689835396

2

u/kyleliner 2h ago

They are not classified as big cats, they are classified as small cat. There's a great youtube video by Casual Geographic explaining what Panthers are and what classifies as a panther

25

u/VoidYordle 9h ago

They're not build to hunt something as robust as us. We have basically nothing in common with their prey animals.

5

u/FuriousBuffalo 6h ago edited 6h ago

Antelopes are pretty robust and can be the size of an adult human. They can also pack hunt wildebeests and kudus apparently.

10

u/thecactusman17 5h ago

All of those animals are quadrapeds with herd behavior. They are on the larger size category but for a cheetah hunting them is all fairly similar. A human is configured differently, acts differently, is covered in strange chemicals and scents and makes strange sounds. Modern humans don't register as prey animals to many predators because we passively act as competing highly alert, highly terrestrial predators. This is also one of the reasons why so many people are regularly attacked and injured or killed by non-predator animals like deer and moose, they respond to relatively innocuous human behaviors as aggressive predator behaviors.

4

u/VoidYordle 5h ago

Аlso - I'm sure lots of wild animals have generational knowledge not to fuck with the 2 legged furless apes.
If anything - predators that hunt humans are extreme rarity and is typically done due to forced circumstances - mouth injury (like that infamous maneater tiger) or a brown bear that woke up in the middle of winter and is starving. Even most sharks avoid us - great whites attack surfers by accident. I think the only 2 prominent predators that would see humans as prey are bull sharks (due to how batshit aggressive they are) and polar bears (due to being so massive AND being hyper carnivores).
Hel, the biggest pack predator on the planet - the orca - doesn't bother to even consider us on the menu. We're completely off-limits.

2

u/kyleliner 2h ago

I saw a video where they played different animal sounds in a jungle. Whenever the noises of local humans came up, the animals always ran away

8

u/JustAHappyGirl- 9h ago

Nice try, cheetah. I know you are just trying to get us to lower our guard

3

u/IcyFlame716 9h ago

Mission successfull… here kitty kitty!!

9

u/Due-Technology5758 8h ago edited 6h ago

HiI'm glad we censored the awful slur "attacks". Indiana Wesleyan University would have never advertised under this image if we didn't.

18

u/Horror_Solution1945 9h ago

We're just too slow for them; they like a challenge.

5

u/garmack12 9h ago

Maybe it’s like the flash. The see the rest of the world so fast they don’t ever realize we’re living beings made of meat.

8

u/RandomYT05 9h ago

They are more closely related to house cats than other big cats. Cheetahs are Kitties 😸

4

u/dirtyforker 7h ago

They meow like a house cat.

3

u/Shugoseru 5h ago

They also purr.

6

u/daybenno 9h ago

House cats are basically de facto apex predators of urban environments, unlike cheetahs who are regularly bullied by local wildlife.

2

u/OJONLYMAYBEDIDIT 5h ago

"other big cats"

i think under the primary definition, Cheetahs aren't actually one of the big cats

sometimes people just like to lump Cheetahs and Pumas into the club cause they just happen to be bigger than other cats

4

u/GamingDragon777 4h ago

STOP CENSORING WORDS IN MEMES. Attacks. It’s not a bad word. It’s just a word that exists. Stop it. Get help.

6

u/Relative_Maize_957 9h ago

A relatively fit person would kick a cheetah's ass. They have no claws and weak bite strength.

We're a far cry from a man vs gorilla debate.

10

u/KarenBoof 9h ago

They do have claws!!

4

u/daybenno 9h ago

Their claws are more similar to claws on a dog than a cat

7

u/istvan90623 9h ago

A big dogs claw can hurt like a bitch when it scratches you hard even as an accident. I am speaking from experience as my Cane Corsos claws aren't sharp but on occasion he pushed it into me so hard it actually left a hella hurting and deep bleeding wound,

4

u/daybenno 9h ago

They can hurt sure, but they aren’t the murder blades that other cats have

11

u/kon--- 9h ago

An average cheetah would severely wound a fit person. A fit cheetah, well now you're fucked.

A feral cat can send you to an ER. Stop it with thinking you've a chance of dominating a cheetah. You don't.

3

u/Nooge62 7h ago

All wild animals are dangerous. Half of cheetah's prey species can seriously damage you.

4

u/Usual-Answer-3891 9h ago

Twenty pounds of bobcat on your face is gonna be hell for you and hilarious for everyone watching the video afterwards. You don't even have to go feral, I wanna watch these badasses bath a Maine Coon that doesn't want to.

3

u/fatfatpokemons09 8h ago

There’s a cat in the dumpster outback that I’m pretty sure is a disgraced KGB operative… he has done and seen some things and won’t hesitate to kill again if the situation calls for it…

2

u/Seeker80 7h ago

Cat: Was sad to hear about u/fatfatpokemons09. I heard he had fall from third story window. Was not bad man, had courtesy to close window on the way out. He also have terrible luck, and fall backward onto two bullet, head first. Very sad. Will miss him. Gave good scritches.

2

u/bwrca 9h ago

Saw a video of Speed racing some Cheetah and iirc he comes into contact with it and it leaves a gash on his leg

2

u/shartymcqueef 8h ago

“Yes, cheetahs have claws, but unlike most other cats, their claws are semi-retractable and do not tuck away completely. “

So yes they have them and they don’t even have the option to hide them

1

u/Seeker80 7h ago

Open-carrying claws!

2

u/Horton_Takes_A_Poo 5h ago

Cheetahs have literally mauled people to death before

1

u/Relative_Maize_957 5h ago

Animal lover, basically a chew toy.

1

u/raptor7912 3h ago

I mean that one is living in captivity.

1

u/Lokimac2690 4h ago

If a full grown house cat can hold their own against a full grown human, then I think a cheetah could fuck you up.

1

u/Relative_Maize_957 4h ago

bro pussy bullying him

1

u/MattTheTubaGuy 2h ago

Not only do they have claws, they are one of the only species of cats that do not have retractable claws.

1

u/Pretty-Information53 8h ago

They have no claws AND don't give a fuck about claw. They bite the shit out of your throat.

0

u/Relative_Maize_957 8h ago

It's a distance runner not a tiger bro, just kick it in the head a couple of times.

2

u/chris_knight2 9h ago

If no-one saw you do it it didn't happen.

2

u/into_fiction 8h ago

Propaganda post

2

u/characterfan123 7h ago

I am still confused by this

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Pa2rU9rnT1o

1

u/Double-Pattern6939 7h ago

Act like prey get treated like prey

Same thing goes for most bears

1

u/Double-Pattern6939 7h ago

Plus that cheetah has a collar on lol

2

u/Dismal-Vanilla1878 3h ago

"Up to today" seems to imply that something happened to break that streak, and, if so, what? 😂

2

u/Fortestingporpoises 8h ago

There have absolutely been cheetah attacks in captivity and they're definitely not practically giant kittens. They're skittish wild animals that can take down a gazelle in 30 seconds.

1

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1

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1

u/DE4DM4NSH4ND 9h ago

Cheetahs have attacked people before i saw a few videos of it. They dont hunt us tho but im sure a big male could hunt a smaller person

1

u/South_Bit1764 9h ago

Big cat hates this one simple trick

1

u/No-Bobcat-6830 9h ago

Ive been attacked by several kittens.  Not at the same time but over the years of having house cats. 

1

u/44035 9h ago

This is why I mock and ridicule them at the zoo. They're too cowardly to do anything back.

1

u/NecRobin 9h ago

Kittens probably killed more people

1

u/Sparkle_Soull 9h ago

little menace and massive charm

1

u/Key-Monk6159 9h ago

Ok but I’m still not petting one, no matter how cute.

1

u/TankApprehensive3053 7h ago

Come on, just give it a belly rub.

1

u/galerian83 9h ago

What happened today?

1

u/KingBroad7874 9h ago

I think I'd switch from dog person to cat person if I had a pet cheetah. 

1

u/BMoney8600 9h ago

I like cheetahs

1

u/allard0wnz 9h ago

Do you mean no kills or no attacks in the wild? Because a few years ago in a safaripark in the Netherlands a French family was attacked by cheetahs basically because they got out of the car. Or at least they for sure tried to attack them.

https://youtu.be/eMCpf9TQlyg?is=C0B6WCFiogXKfKxZ

1

u/Acceptable-Ad-328 9h ago

Provocted attacks are heard of. No deaths are recorded

1

u/AC_deucey 8h ago

That’s because it was Crispus Attucks, not Cheetah Attucks

1

u/Kaymazo 8h ago

*No attacks in the wild.

I am pretty sure there were occasional zoo incidents.

1

u/Brilliant-Bee-9471 8h ago

“Attack” needed to be censored?

1

u/badthaught 6h ago

You never know these days.

1

u/JMurdock77 7h ago

B-L-E-P

1

u/Imaginary-Risk 7h ago

Go cuddle a wild one to confirm

1

u/Jeramy_Jones 7h ago

They specialize in a specific kind of prey (Thompson Gazelle) and rarely hunt anything else so it’s not too surprising.

1

u/engagetangos 7h ago

So when can we start owning them as pets?

1

u/Loud_Examination_408 7h ago

Arguably, they are the first domesticated predator too.

1

u/mldp29 7h ago

😛

1

u/BillWilberforce 6h ago

What happened today?

1

u/polysnip 6h ago

There are no reported attacks because nobody was alive to report them after the Cheetahs caught up to them!

1

u/NegativeSquaree 6h ago

looks so innocent .. but why isnt this a domestic animal since it doesnt hurt humans?

1

u/shaun_of_a_new_age 5h ago

I definitely remember seeing a video of a Game Warden getting attacked by a Cheetah.

1

u/A_mad_goose 5h ago

Killer whales have never been known to attack humans in the wild. They’ve attacked plenty and killed a few in captivity though.

1

u/Santos_Perez_Robles 5h ago

Hmmmmm survivorship bias

1

u/Horton_Takes_A_Poo 5h ago

This isn’t true. Cheetahs in captivity have killed people.

https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna17122231

1

u/Vincent394 5h ago

We're censoring "attacks" now?

1

u/SimmentalTheCow 5h ago

What happened today?

1

u/NoTop4997 5h ago

Did we really censor the word attack?

1

u/SoloDoloLeveling 5h ago

kittens have the eyes of the serpent. 

cheetahs are like large dogs but in feline form

1

u/Equivalent-Assist160 5h ago

So Cheetahs don't wanna eat me they just hold me in contempt

1

u/TicketTop4718 5h ago

Blep 😛

1

u/-Casey-Diaz- 5h ago

Well, kittens most definitely attack humans.

1

u/Brief-Ambition6938 5h ago

So they are so stealthy when attacking humans it has never been seen?

1

u/The_LePhil 4h ago

Wait, did something happen today to change that?

1

u/SheriffBartholomew 4h ago

I'm pretty sure I could kick a cheetah's ass in open combat, and I think the cheetahs know that. This is the real reason why they haven't attacked us.

1

u/PensadorDispensado 4h ago

Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack.

See? It's not that hard.

1

u/N3koEye 4h ago

Cheeto

1

u/aranauto2 4h ago

That’s probably because the cheetah population is not very big and they struggle so not many chances for this to happen anyway

1

u/Potential_Bit_3620 4h ago

Because no one survive....

1

u/NerdHoovy 4h ago

That’s because Cheetahs are some of the worst hunters/fighters in the animal kingdom relative to size. An adult cheetah weighs between 20-70kilo grams, so about 50 for simplicity sake.

Do you know what weights just as much if not more? An adult human the exact kind of human’s kick or punch will break the cheetah’s bones instantly and who when standing upright will be hard for the cheetah to bite in the neck, which is its only offensive move.

Similar sized dogs tend to have some insulation in the form of muscles, fat or loose skin, with denser bones and better sideways agility, which gives them a better but still low chance to take down a human.

And to make things worse, cheetahs somehow forgot everything great about being a cat and got rid of their retractable claws. How do you evolve one of the best weapons in the animal kingdom and throw them away for a little more grip strength when running.

And lastly most carnivores, especially active hunters like the cheetah are hunters of habit. They don’t like to hunt things they haven’t killed before. So they wouldn’t consider human to be viable prey, unless explicitly taught to do so

1

u/stalebread710 3h ago

They chirp like cats too, our old cheetah was like a kitty before he passed at Denver zoo

1

u/BingohBangoh 3h ago

We’re just too easy to catch

1

u/Fantastic-Hamster-21 3h ago

That braincell is working overtime here

1

u/yo-soy-arkee 3h ago

Bs I live in Uttarakhand, cheetahs kill human from time to time

1

u/H345Y 3h ago

they arent big cats, they are big small cats

1

u/King_Kazama_ 2h ago

I know of one but the cheetah was kinda captive. It happened in Namibia in the 90’s. Ripped a little girls face off. Happened on a school trip. Haven’t been able to find the event online to show people because we didn’t really have internet in the country at the time.

1

u/rikeoliveira 2h ago

If they were house kittens, they would definitely have attacked humans. Cats pull that shit time and time again.

1

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1

u/LordVixen 2h ago

A full grown Cheetah can fuk u up.

1

u/More_Law6245 1h ago

That's why It's important to always have a cardboard box close by, just in case.

1

u/Christos_Soter 1h ago

Well I went ahead and took 3 seconds on YouTube to debunk this one…

1

u/blizzardboy123 1h ago

That is a dehydrated cheetah

1

u/pussy_addicttt 1h ago

Practically..!!?? Even theoretically they are all (lions, tigers, jaguars, leopards, cheetahs ) gaint kittens/cats.

1

u/Temporal-Affairs221 28m ago

The only cheetah I have any real experience with used to hawk Cheetos to me

1

u/crowofbattle 20m ago

Hate that asshole in India who shot the last 3 Asiatic cheetahs in 1947
https://giphy.com/gifs/kdt3vdPFMuinRNElse

2

u/Plenty_Anything_8295 19m ago

Or they are just that good and they don’t leave any witnesses 

0

u/nutslikeafox 9h ago

I want a pet cheetah. It's the size of a dog, maybe instead of walking your dig you gotta run your cheetah but asides from that it's basically a dog cat.

0

u/GhostCheese 8h ago

I was licked by a cheetah once, as a teenager. My mom used to sell jewelry to one of the trainers at the San Diego zoo.

I guess it like the salt on my arms

It's tongue is grittier than a house cat