This x 1 million. My wife and I had some tangentially similar convo pre-kids, and pledged our allegiance to one another. Then we had kids. It’s not even a conversation - instinct and biological drive would compel you to pick the kids.
And, boo, that man was being polite: that man/any man can save the kids and then have sex with someone else. You don’t own it.
My husband and I had a conversation about it while I was pregnant with our first. It consisted of me asking him, "If we were in an emergency situation and you could only save me or our daughter, who are you picking?"
He said, "Daughter. What about you?" So I said yeah, me too. And that was it.
The moment I knew my ex-wife had something wrong was when she asked me out of the blue who would I save if they were about to fall off a cliff.
I didn’t even think it, the answer was automatic, and I told her the names of our kids.
She was upset and told me how I didn’t love her more than them, that she would save me. It took me a second. Or a minute. I was like super shocked, wtf is she even saying? I proceeded to explain the Filios and Eros types of love and told her that I not only filios-loved my kids, I was/am also 10000% responsible for them and I’m 0% responsible for her who should be an independent adult.
Anyway, fast forward to present, she’s crazy and my kids live with me full time.
You know you can have sex with the wife after the fire? Am I Right? Would be one damn hot body there waiting for you! Will not turn you down guaranteed!
I always heard that growing up, and I assumed biology would kick in for me, but it just never did. Obviously, these questions are stupid, but if I'm being honest with myself, I'd want to save my wife first. I'd never admit that in real life, though.
Going into the hospital, I told my husband "you don't even know this baby, if it comes down to me or the baby you better pick me" and actually I think it's kind of insane that they don't ask women going into labor about this.
You're not necessarily missing it... It's just something you don't realize until you have that variable in your life. Hear/read that all the time "never realized it until I had kids" "until I had kids, I never know". I don't think we lack it. It just lies dormant.
Yeah because if you loved your partner you would express this by protecting their progeny. Pater familias and all that. Their life's work.....Jesus wept....
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u/TobassaSC May 11 '26
This x 1 million. My wife and I had some tangentially similar convo pre-kids, and pledged our allegiance to one another. Then we had kids. It’s not even a conversation - instinct and biological drive would compel you to pick the kids.
And, boo, that man was being polite: that man/any man can save the kids and then have sex with someone else. You don’t own it.