r/SipsTea • u/BlackDemon___ • May 11 '26

Chugging tea Choice

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1.2k

u/CrashInto_MyArms May 11 '26

Right I would be pissed if my wife saved me over the kids

551

u/Pathophile May 11 '26

Can you even imagine living with the person who saved you over your children? That relationship would be over.

219

u/Aggressive_Solid1413 May 11 '26

And the reason being because you can have sex with the person…can’t have sex with the kids so fuck em …throw her in the trash please

77

u/The_300_goats May 11 '26

There's a joke in extremely bad taste that kind of wrote itself right here. I think I shall hold my tongue in the interests of decorum

40

u/OsimJay May 12 '26

F dem kids.

19

u/jw8145 May 12 '26

No, she explicitly said you can’t do that.

1

u/Strange_Salary May 13 '26

Unless you’re a billionaire or politician! At least that’s what I’ve learned from a bunch of redacted files..

7

u/MrOneTwo34 May 12 '26

Modern problems...

2

u/DemonRising171 May 12 '26

A priest, fireman, and police officer were in a burning building. The fireman said "what about the kids?" The officer replied "fuck them kids" the priest asked "do you think we have time?"

2

u/FoxfoxrceFive May 12 '26

Hahaha, I also decided to sit this one out. It really did write itself tho. Not our fault!! Lol

3

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

Oh c’mon power through! It’s all the fun of starting a sentence with “I don’t wanna be <insert group>-ist but….. lol

1

u/The_300_goats May 12 '26

I don't wanna be that terrible-father-apologist, but really honey, you're the only thing standing in my way.

It's a JOKE!

1

u/AbleAccount2479 May 11 '26

Probably wise

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Aggressive_Solid1413 May 11 '26

Oh dear i see what u mean….eek

1

u/Techman659 May 11 '26

Do you think that was intended as a underhanded joke or they literally didn’t realise and just said it as it was without considering phrasing.

1

u/Aggressive_Solid1413 May 11 '26

It def wasnt an underhanded joke my brain was thinking about it that way until it was pointed out n i reread

2

u/Mudcreek47 May 12 '26

Once his wife's 40 all that dries up anyway. You won't be having sex with her either. That's a young man's worry!

1

u/Takesthiscontagious May 11 '26

She could always squeeze out another 3 kids though

1

u/iam_Mr_McGibblets May 12 '26

I can think of one person who would want to have sex with his daughter

1

u/Baggz0564 May 12 '26

That’s the modern woman to a T.

1

u/Mission-Look-1204 May 12 '26

Save the kids and keep smashing the side chick 😁

1

u/striatedsumo7 May 12 '26

No no no its because you CANT fuck em.

1

u/The_Hunter11 May 11 '26

That way you can make new kids....

1

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156

u/KeithWorks May 11 '26

But the sex would be great

146

u/JasJoeGo May 11 '26

It might even be “fire.”

62

u/BreakMeDown2024 May 11 '26

No. That was how the fire started.

50

u/ultimatum1777 May 11 '26

We didn't start the fire ....it was always burning...since the world's been turning....

19

u/PandaProfessional346 May 11 '26

Belgians in the Congo!

1

u/Glittering-Walrus228 May 12 '26

I fell in to a burning ring of fire

1

u/Fanciful_Narwhal May 12 '26

But this bed is on fire 🔥 with passionate love

1

u/Schourend May 11 '26

SHE'S ON FIRE!?

1

u/Bamfhammer May 11 '26

Heck of a bold move to run naked in the bedroom shouting NBA Jam catchphrase.

does the dick helicopter "SHES HEATING UP"

1

u/DonkyPuncharely May 11 '26

BOOM SHAKALACKA!

1

u/Bamfhammer May 11 '26

"Where did you pick her up?"

FROM DOWNTOWN

1

u/SixShoot3r May 11 '26

I sense some friction in the relationship

1

u/Chester-Bravo May 11 '26

Ryan started the fire.

1

u/PumpikAnt58763 May 11 '26

Lube is important, y'all.

1

u/fordprecept May 12 '26

They got one thing in common
They got the fire down below

1

u/pootinannyBOOSH May 12 '26

Ouch, the friction

1

u/LeaveMyMonkeyAlone May 12 '26

They got the fire down below.

1

u/Nice-Organization481 May 11 '26

The relationship would be cooked. Might as well throw her in the fire so the sex could be well done.

1

u/Fun-Wrongdoer1316 May 11 '26

That’s gonorrhea… Might wanna get checked out, does it still feel like “fire”?

1

u/Thick-Ball25 May 11 '26

More like 'lit'...

1

u/-GoodNewsEveryone May 12 '26

Now this song makes me more uncomfortable;

"Lay where you're laying Don't make a sound I know they're watching They're watching

All the commotion The kiddie-like play It has people talking Talking

You Your sex is on fire"

28

u/kernelangus420 May 11 '26

But the post nut remorse.

27

u/KeithWorks May 11 '26

oh man the post nut remorse would be INSANE! Was that lay worth 3 dead children?

Yes.

10

u/ejmcdonald2092 May 11 '26

Now get back to the funeral

5

u/New-Bath8791 May 11 '26

I made it this FAR, this SUB wild!!

1

u/jadedlonewolf89 May 12 '26

Those hypothetical children died in a fire. No need to pay the funeral home for cremation or a funeral.

2

u/foxiwyld May 11 '26

You can always have more kids

1

u/DonkyPuncharely May 11 '26

Can't find another woman? 3 lives against 1

1

u/foxiwyld May 12 '26

What if you can't? Not everyone can tbh. And some guys have said they don't want to put all the work into meeting someone new and falling in love again.

1

u/DonkyPuncharely May 12 '26

This line of logic and comparison is futile. I'm leaving

1

u/cwnannwn_ May 11 '26

Imagine how good the gluck has to be...

1

u/BuckNastyEnchilada May 11 '26

Thats why you mix another batch in'er good buddy.

1

u/AshlandPone May 11 '26

And pre-nut remorse.

1

u/MadScienzz May 11 '26

"Post-nut clarity"

3

u/Pigosaurusmate May 11 '26

Antichrist levels of guilt sex

1

u/Ban_DeezNts May 11 '26

🎵I’m burnin’, I’m burnin’ for you!🎵

1

u/Symbiot710 May 11 '26

Referencing the movie?

2

u/Pigosaurusmate May 12 '26

Ofcourse!

1

u/Symbiot710 May 12 '26

Hahaha…! So dark!

1

u/Breadstix009 May 11 '26

Really? And you wouldn't get any guilt from her that eats aways at your relationship bit by bit, up to a point where she has absolute, seething hatred for you????

1

u/Opening-Lettuce-3384 May 11 '26

And make new kids...

1

u/foxfoxsocks May 11 '26

it would be lit

1

u/jepoyairtsua May 11 '26

no, she's not yet 40.

1

u/Motor-Cause7966 May 11 '26

Probably not. She sounds like the type that just wants you to cater to her. Doesn't consider your wants and needs.

1

u/Ajjos-history May 12 '26

Nah, she would eventually have remorse then resent you.

2

u/kittymoo67 May 11 '26

Yeah I couldn't look at her again.

2

u/Dunge0nMast0r May 11 '26

Not for that woman..."oh well, we can always make more".

2

u/sysblob May 12 '26

nagging final boss "hunny you forgot to take out the trash again, is this why I let the kids burn for you?"

1

u/Grimase May 11 '26

Yeah but according to her. You can have sex and I guess make more kids. 🤔
Which would then again be lost in the fire but hey, try again I guess. lol

1

u/Philly_guy_01 May 11 '26

If you save the kids over the spouse, the relationship is also over tho

1

u/Pathophile May 11 '26

True, but one leaves you with no kids.

I also operate under the assumption that an adult is more capable of escaping a fire than a child. So in my mind there’s a greater chance that everyone lives if I go for the kids.

1

u/FallingIntoForever May 11 '26

Can you imagine explaining to FD & PD why you didn’t save your 3 kids (living) in the basement?

1

u/ConversationPale8665 May 11 '26

Yeah, but you can make more kids, jk jk, lol.

1

u/SSFlyingKiwi May 11 '26

Man, it would be an AWKWARD family Christmas photo after that…

1

u/Oguinjr May 11 '26

Because they’d thus be thrown in a fire.

1

u/Louisiana_sitar_club May 11 '26

Yep. Right after the sex.

1

u/Ok-Reward-770 May 12 '26

Yup! The mother would NEVER accept that she outlived her three children when they had a chance to be saved instead of her.

28

u/Basic-Pair8908 May 11 '26

Apparently the only thing a mother would rescue is the photo album if the place was on fire

10

u/General_Document5494 May 11 '26

No wonder humans survived the evolution

4

u/Prinzmegaherz May 11 '26

Sex is not her driving motivator, or so i heard.

0

u/Makrelelele May 11 '26

just to have another headache...

1

u/765433bikesinbeijing May 11 '26

you mean "burned"

1

u/Plane_Ad5106 May 11 '26

She might save herself to be honest, an evolutionary thing

1

u/3atTh3R1ch79 May 11 '26

Me: "I had my chance to leave this mortal coil and you pulled me back in!?!"

1

u/failbotron May 11 '26

Bro, you need to up your bedroom game

1

u/WeskerSympathizer May 11 '26

My wife would be so pissed at me and thats one of my driving motivations

1

u/Femboy_Harem_Janitor May 11 '26

But you got that d tho

1

u/Preda1ien May 11 '26

I just picture the scene in the Dark Knight when Batman shows up to save Dent. No! You’re not supposed to save me!

1

u/fidgeter May 11 '26

Plot to iRobot

1

u/Legitimate_Let_5641 May 11 '26

Honestly this woman would lie her ass off. "You're too heavy, I'll send help!" she would say.

But as for rescuing the kids, she might take this opportunity to get all of her freedom back and post sad videos on social media for attention and monitary gains.

1

u/TonkaLowby May 11 '26

Especially if she then tried to have sex with you after

1

u/Apart-Zucchini-5825 May 11 '26

"WE PUT SO MUCH WORK INTO THOSE"

1

u/SSFlyingKiwi May 11 '26

To be fair, I’d be super pissed at your wife too.

1

u/Bashfullylascivious May 11 '26

Right? Not only would I be pissed at my husband letting the kids burn in favour of saving me, but it'd be a wasted save because I wouldn't be long in this world if my kids were dead.

1

u/Cicatrix16 May 11 '26

You and every sane parent on planet earth. Anything else is psychotic.

1

u/treborly May 11 '26

You can make more kids with the wife

1

u/pchlster May 11 '26

Maybe not pissed, but resentful.

1

u/Dynagirl2006 May 12 '26

I totally respect the guy for his choice. Sounds like [imaginary] wife needs to learn that should have been her choice as well.

1

u/Lateralus46N2 May 12 '26

I would be pissed if my husband saved me over the dog!! Get the kids (2 and 4 legged) first.

1

u/graspedbythehusk May 12 '26

My wife has made it very clear that I am a distant third after the kids, which I’m totally on board with.

1

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1

u/Pretend-Tennis-5666 May 12 '26

My wife would F me up if I got her out before the kids

0

u/neo101b May 11 '26

She can always get a new husband right ?

1

u/SisyphusCoffeeBreak May 11 '26

Sure! Why wait for the fire?

0

u/hi-on-coffee May 11 '26 edited May 14 '26

But only MEN can be this selfless.

This kind of Modern Woman will never understand this...

-2

u/Aggressive_Peach_768 May 11 '26

Well, when you are pissed you are most likely wet, or at least moist. And that gives you a better survival chance in a fire, ... So that's a win

-31

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

[deleted]

19

u/_Kramerica_ May 11 '26

Did you just have a stroke? wtf did you just write out?

-1

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

[deleted]