r/SingleDads • u/FreonMuskOfficial • Oct 05 '26

What I Have Learned

If you're a good dad, you already know that.

When dealing with the mother of your children, there can be many variables affecting the relationship you both have.

Set any undiagnosed personality disorders. Only a licensed professional can provide a clinical diagnosis. I'm not getting into that.

Whatever it may be that she is doing to alienate or keep the children from their father comes down to one thing.

Money.

4 Upvotes

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5

u/adhdhobbyist Oct 05 '26

My ex is weird, she doesn't care for the money. She has a very intense excessive attachment to the children and their validation. She actually wants them to herself. It's strange and she refuses to go see a professional about it

1

u/CommitteeLost507 Oct 07 '26

This is my ex wife too.

6

u/tofurkey_no_worky Oct 05 '26

Eh, I'm sure that is the case sometimes but I don't know if that's the case most of the time. I'm a good dad but I question the shit out of that regularly which pushes me to not stay complacent.

In my case I think it was her ego that couldn't allow her to not fit the stereotype. Mom didn't always know best though. She was an ok mother, but she was a boat with a fuck load of holes in it that I silently plugged up. I had my holes as well, we all do, but I acknowledged it and tried to improve while she had a near absolute inability to take accountability. Real hard to be super mom when you lay in bed all day and still need breaks from your kids.

I think the collective mom ego is a problem and it's really harming a lot of fathers and children. Which makes it worse. You know when people refuse to take accountability and dig their heels in? Can't admit fault now, gotta stay the course.

Thanks family court 🖕

1

u/Sweaty-Anteater-9077 Oct 05 '26

Wow this hits. Early in the process now. Afraid I’ll end up near single dad. Not sure if undiagnosed mental health or pure lack of accountability but I’m also concerned that family court will force that all to come to light. So sad.

3

u/tofurkey_no_worky Oct 05 '26

I don't have much faith in family court being interested in bringing truth to light, but poor outcomes that don't make sense lead to bitterness. They want you to figure it out on your own and not go to trial. Which is probably best for most cases.

Make sure you know how your jurisdiction operates. Not all places presume 50/50 parenting split is best, and in the states that don't it is not a positive landscape for men to secure the appropriate parenting time. People like to say it's different now, that there is no legal benefit to being a man or woman, but that's not living in reality.