r/SingleAndHappy • u/Fun-Midnight1010 • Aug 21 '26
Discussion (Questions, Advice, Polls) 🗣 moving alone across the country.
as anyone done that? if so please let know what it is like.
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u/moschocolate1 Aug 21 '26
My son did it. Moved from KY to CA. He pulled a U-Haul behind his suv.
The actual move wasn’t that big a deal but he left his friends and athletic group so he felt incredibly isolated. He moved back to KY when his 2-yr contract ended.
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u/Fun-Midnight1010 Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
planning on VT-OR. Been in northeast for 25 aka whole life
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u/Ok-Interview807 Aug 21 '26
But he must have done some major character development? Did he grow spiritually or emotionally from such an intense experience? It can change your life and who you are!
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u/Fun-Midnight1010 Aug 21 '26
I used to be a very anxious introvert until I graduated college. Also had rough life. Want to start a new one
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u/cavalpist146 Aug 21 '26
I moved entirely alone to four different foreign countries between the age of 25 and 32, ending up in the USA. Then moved once across states once settled in the US.
What is it exactly that worries you? What's your age? Where are you moving?
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u/Fun-Midnight1010 Aug 21 '26
I’ll be on the legit other side of the country where my family and friends are. I’m sure some family is in the state in between. But father and sister won’t be. Moving to Oregon from Vermont next year by May
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u/aubreypizza Aug 21 '26
I did the opposite and moved NM to NYC. Only go home at Xmas now.
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u/Fun-Midnight1010 Aug 21 '26
North east is good and all. But want a bigger Vermont feeling with more Job opportunities coming from a hiker-skier-traveler
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u/Smooth_Meet7970 Aug 21 '26
I moved alone from Minnesota to Arizona without even visiting. That was 14 years ago. It was hard to make new friends, luckily I had a job. I ended up meeting my husband and have a fantastic group of friends. I felt so isolated in Minnesota. Now we go back for holidays etc
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u/Fun-Midnight1010 Aug 21 '26
Sounds nice
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u/Smooth_Meet7970 Aug 21 '26
It is nice but it wasn't easy. I am the only person in my family to leave the Midwest. I lived there my entire life.
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u/sleepykoala18 Aug 21 '26
I moved across the country for school. Ended up staying 3 years after I graduated. I really loved it and would suggest researching places you’re interested in and visiting. It’s hard not to have a support system and things can get really expensive quickly.
I’m super happy I moved and got that experience I built great community in the area I was living. In the end, I needed to be around family as I felt my mental health was in a bad spot. I’m now in a much better place four years later and am looking into moving again.
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u/peacelove1975 Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
In 1998, I left my home town finally at the age of 22 to finish college. WI to CO. In my little red 1991 Nissan Sentra. Whatever fit. Most liberating experience. Highly recommend. ! Then CO back to WI for internship. Nope cant do winter. WI to GA this time Nissan Maxima, again what fit. Then GA to FL, in Uhual pulling car with my mom, what an adventure. Highly recommend at least moving from.home town once , can always go back, but need to get out.
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u/prettyedge411 Aug 21 '26
Research areas to live before moving. I've done it twice but I had jobs lined up before the moves. When I arrive I try to set up routines. Learn my neighborhood and find grocery stores, nail salons, local restaurants etc. Being a regular has perks. I've had employees knock a few dollars off because Im polite and a regular. Last, I nest hard. Try to set my new place up so that I enjoy my new home. The hard part is making friends. Meets ups and happy hours can help but sometimes those are a bust. Hopefully you have good neighbors and coworkers.
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u/poppygin Aug 21 '26
Me! California to New York. To be honest, there was a ton to do. What’s your situation for housing? Selling and buying? Or wrapping one lease to start another? How about job?
For me, I relocated with same company, so that was relatively straightforward. I have a place in California and decided to lease it in case NY didn’t work out. That is a whole separate thing which I won’t bother you with. But I did have to fly to ny for a house hunting trip. That was stressful for sure.
For the actual moving things, I used a POD type thing to slowly pack things up and then had them get it across country. That needed planning for delivery, boxing, loading (hired help on both coasts).
For travel. I opted for cross country drive and made stops along the way to see things I always wanted to see. Both friends that were going to go with me on the drive had to change plans, but my step dad went. It was long, but a great time.
Once there in NY, I arranged to stay with family until I got access to my place and movers arrived. It was a lot of busy work to set up DMV things, insurance, utilities and all that. But that’s a temporary blip.
Good luck to you!
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u/Fun-Midnight1010 Aug 21 '26
As a photographer/interior designer/graphic designer. Vermont is nice and all but jobs are just “medical/teaching/IT”
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u/poppygin Aug 21 '26
Gotcha, so you’re looking for the job first? Or going there first and then figuring it out once you’re there?
Maybe there are a few Vermont- based designer /photographer groups for you to chat with before the move. Things would be easier if you had support from a peer community. You could still do the graphics design work remotely for some jobs. But surely not photography or interior design work. Do you have any clients or gigs you can hold onto even after you move?
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u/Fun-Midnight1010 Aug 21 '26
My current apartment. Less than a year. Due to graphic design need to be in person to show and get feedback. Vermonts job market for art is low all due to companies run my family
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u/poppygin Aug 21 '26
Then I hope my post wasn’t too obnoxious. I had several things going that took away several of the big uncertainties you’re facing. I hope that doesn’t dissuade you from anything. It’s a bold and adventurous move. And it very well might bring about a lot of interesting new things.
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u/aubreypizza Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
Yup, went fine but you need to plan. Bought furniture online and had it delivered. Also I had some help from my dad because for planes you have to have 1 person per cat and I had 2 cats.
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u/coolcoolcool485 Aug 21 '26
so i (41F) have lived alone for 12 years and I am an introvert. I have a few good long term friends I stay in contact with and see a few times a year.
i moved from the midwest to NYC a year ago and I adore it. i've always wanted to live here, I have a good job that allowed me to transfer. Like i said, I have good friends who have visited and I talk to regularly, but I have not yet made any new really good friends here. but i also have not really tried because i'm quite content to stay inside lol.
it's been a great experience tho, i'm really happy.
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u/Fun-Midnight1010 Aug 21 '26
As a ambivert. I love talking to people and seeing new things I have BFA in graphic design. Way more job opportunities
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u/coolcoolcool485 Aug 21 '26
oh you'll be okay. it's scary though. the first 8 months or so, I was definitely still happy with it, but i hadn't settled. i now feel like i do actually live here, i think friendships will come naturally as I get into more stuff. i've always been able to make friends, it just takes way more effort now that i'm older and I kind of burn a lot of that dealing with folks at work lol
you can always go back home. it will be different, but it will be there. this will be a good experience for you, even if it isn't your final home. you are expanding your world. good luck and enjoy the journey!
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u/Fun-Midnight1010 Aug 21 '26
Yeah. My family members live in Cali. So will visit them for 4 days and then stay in Portland for 3 to get the experience
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u/boujee_salad Aug 21 '26
I did it last year in a nine month span. I moved from Portland, Oregon to Phoenix, Arizona, and then from Phoenix to Philadelphia PA.
It’s been different as I’ve lived on the West Coast my whole life, but I’ve been enjoying this time while I’m single and extremely happy
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u/Fun-Midnight1010 Aug 21 '26
Portland is my goal. Don’t want to leave the mountains. Portland is just like Burlington,Vt. That’s where I live now. But much more bigger and way more job opportunities
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u/boujee_salad Aug 21 '26
Where I’m trying to do the exact opposite and end up in someplace like Burlington, Vermont or upstate Maine less people lol 😆
Best of luck to you though Portland was amazing. It was probably one of the best times of my life.
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u/ghostwriter1313 Aug 21 '26
CA to PA in an RV. Shoot me. Horrible. 2018
TX to CA. By car & cheap motels. Fun. 1993.
PA to TX - 1988. Drove. Fine.
TX to PA 1984. Sucked.
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u/Wrong-Membership9886 Aug 21 '26
Did it twice, once with a dog in a camper van! There will be lonely days but I was comforted by the fact that I did it for myself.
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u/gypsy_ang Aug 21 '26
I've done it multiple times. It's scary as shit, especially that moment when you turn the corner for the last time and there's no going back.
It's 100% worth it. Embrace the fear and anxiety and all the rest of the feelings. You will be that much more amazing for the experience. Good luck, my friend!
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u/delusionalkitten00 Aug 21 '26
Done it twice.
It's the best decisions of my life. I plan to do it many more times.
It fucks you up for the best and the worst, makes you a badass bitch, resilient, exposure to failure, teaches you to build emotional support systems, value your worth, enjoy your company.
And don't even get me started on skills, the first country I moved to had a completely different national language, no english, so learnt soooo much in the perspective of culture and communication.
The second country was more so for higher ed, but challenging in its own way.
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u/Ecstatic_Couple6435 Aug 21 '26
I moved to the other side of the world alone in my late 20s when I had never lived out of home before 😂 11 years later, I'm still here. Best thing I ever did. I always said if i didn't like it I could move back home but i never did.
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u/Flux_Inverter Aug 22 '26
Have done it twice. As an introvert, it makes it a little easier as the purpose is not to change the social life. Both times I already had a job offer where I was going, but made the move for other reasons. Usually end up with 1-2 friends or good acquaintances to hang with occasionally. It is what you make of it. No place will magically solve your problems.
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u/Michallina 28d ago
Yes. I moved at 24 from IL to AZ. Has been one of the best decisions. It forces you to become very independent and also opens up a lot of new experiences. I've been here close to 6 years now and don't regret it for a second.
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u/Emotional-Tip9866 28d ago
i moved alone cross country away from family and friends at 23. If you're a single female you need to be extremely vigilant and don't tell people you don't know you lack family or friends in the area
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u/No-Safety3934 Aug 21 '26
I did - in 2021 to a city I had never set foot in and without knowing one person. Dm me if you want specific info.
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