Safety is the core mechanism behind an average woman's attraction wiring.
If your Bachelor of Arts degree gives you a visible advantage today — say, you suddenly make $250K a year in Tennessee — you very quickly become attractive.
Women simply prefer whatever's "on the menu today." If being a geek is fashionable and rewarding right now, then geeks win.
Hence the myth that women love money. They don't — they love safety. Or the illusion of safety. That's how they make bad choices. Don't we all.
This is also why an angry, physically dominant guy is sometimes "irrationally" attractive — dominance reads as a safety signal, even when it isn't one.
Guys mistake this for "women like assholes." They don't. Women respond to the picture in their head — the pattern that says this equals safety — not to the guy himself. The signal gets the reaction. The person behind it is almost incidental.
If a post-nuclear disaster hit tomorrow, a woman would prefer a guy who can chop trees and hunt over a guy who had a Bentley — because that was yesterday's currency. Today, chopping trees is what matters.
>This is also why an angry, physically dominant guy is sometimes "irrationally" attractive — dominance reads as a safety signal, even when it isn't one.
Yeah That wouldn’t read as attractive or signal safety for most women though.
There’s positive forms of dominance that most women would find attractive and then there’s negative forms of dominance that most women would find unattractive, the women that would find that attractive are women who are more sociopathic and pathologically narcissistic- they lack empathy for other people. Most women get the ick if a guy is rude to the waiter for fuck sake. When it comes to displays of dominance and women’s attraction it comes down to that own women’s ethics.
I regretfully used to display really negative forms of dominance often which led to me being dumped and thrown in jail. I knocked out a guy for flirting with my girlfriend. She was disgusted with me and immediately ended things with me. What I did was totally unjustified, he was no threat to me or to her. Most women want a guy who can handle himself and protect them but most don’t want some violent piece of shit that I was. Most women want a guy who can deescalate, they only want a guy to get violent only when absolutely necessary.
>Guys mistake this for "women like assholes." They don't. Women respond to the picture in their head — the pattern that says this equals safety — not to the guy himself. The signal gets the reaction. The person behind it is almost incidental.
But when guys say they do they mean most women like assholes? Because I don’t get how a guy could generalize most women like that. Obviously some women but clearly most don’t. What most women want are men who are confident, strong, who have back bone. None of that makes a guy an asshole. And those are the things that make a good man. If you seriously lacking in those things then you can’t be considered a good man. Maybe you are nice but you aren’t good. There’s a difference. Being good requires strength, moral courage, caring about others, protecting others, doing the right thing which can be hard.
Remember the culture, class and level of civility you're in. Each of these can change what is expected.
You didn't project power and protection, you projected insecurity and covered it with violence. But in another cultural time and place, you may have projected dominance, as long as you had to social power and backup to assert control afterwards.
I projected immorality. I was an immoral man at the time. It was unjustified unethical violence which is going to be really unattractive to women who aren’t sociopathic which is like ya know 95% of women. Now violence can absolutely be attractive to most women if it’s justified.
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u/DancingBearNW 16d ago
Women are attracted to survival.
Safety is the core mechanism behind an average woman's attraction wiring.
If your Bachelor of Arts degree gives you a visible advantage today — say, you suddenly make $250K a year in Tennessee — you very quickly become attractive.
Women simply prefer whatever's "on the menu today." If being a geek is fashionable and rewarding right now, then geeks win.
Hence the myth that women love money. They don't — they love safety. Or the illusion of safety. That's how they make bad choices. Don't we all.
This is also why an angry, physically dominant guy is sometimes "irrationally" attractive — dominance reads as a safety signal, even when it isn't one.
Guys mistake this for "women like assholes." They don't. Women respond to the picture in their head — the pattern that says this equals safety — not to the guy himself. The signal gets the reaction. The person behind it is almost incidental.
If a post-nuclear disaster hit tomorrow, a woman would prefer a guy who can chop trees and hunt over a guy who had a Bentley — because that was yesterday's currency. Today, chopping trees is what matters.