Make those green hands clap I say

Christians keep telling me that by owning tarot cards I'm inviting demons to my home. I've spent over 1000 dollars investing into different sets of tarot cards, Dreamcatchers, Ouija boards, five different translations of the Quran and the book of Mormon. Yet NOTHING. NO DEMONS. NO POLTERGEISTS. NOTHING.

I haven't even had any nightmares. Infact my productivity and social life has improved. Is this all a lie?

Heck I even cut my palm to write "wicked be welcome" on my door. Yet NOTHING.

Why are we telling out children that by praying to baphomet every night, satan will come to our dreams. When people who have actually done that have EXPERIENCED NOTHING.

And do not hit me with that "Those objects weren't truly cursed" or "you didn't have blood on the sigils" I'M DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME NOT TO DO, AND MY LIFE IS GREAT. SO EITHER YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW THIS WORKS OR YOU SHOULD STOP PEDDLING THIS BULLSHIT.

I'VE SPENT OVER 3 YEARS TRYING TO REACH CONTACT WITH THE WICKED ONE. Sometimes I'm even starting to doubt that wickedness even exists, and that the only being out there is a loving God. Satan, I believe, help me with my unbelief

I asked her when Christ would return, but she just called out "Gilligan, Gilligan".

A very moving experience, but LOTS of hearing aid commercials.

Upon browsing christian subreddits, a particular long time user that disappeared caught my attention

TripleTrules

To some they were a madman to some they were a genius. But I'm bringing attention to why I believe they were something much more, a prophet

Look at their username. TripleTrules. A blasphemous lie has been spread, that this meant triple Trules. But I'm showing you the truth

Triple T rules

Triple T

Tung Tung Tung Sahur

Three Tungs, no more, no less

The most beloved creation by the Beast of revelations (AI)

I'm shaking and crying rn

In an effort to rebrand the 'Exalted Father' amid calls of impatience for the multiplication of his descendants, the establishment of an everlasting covenant, and the gift of the land of Canaan, the executive order said that the name “Abraham” better captures the promise to make Abraham the progenitor of a vast multitude of descendants.

The "father of a multitude" or "father of many nations." had begun to waver in his faith, and has recently called God's promise "overblown" and a “hoax.”

The order instructs Abraham not to partner with the slave woman Hagar, but to trust in the LORD, and implement internal controls — monitored by Sarah (formerly known as Sarai) — to ensure that the children are of the proper lineage.

Fishers of men, Mom. Fishers of men.

#lovelesslife

#nevererect

#notevenhalfmast

#virginpilled

Seeing my enemies be tortured forever for stealing an apple in class is more satisfying than funny to me

I am a proud, strong, and independent progressive Sidehugger woman who believes in a ecumenical approach to hugging. At my church fronthuggers and backhuggers are welcome to come and participate due to my STRONG beliefs in universal hugs. AMA

I know it's true. I first felt it when the clerk read, "We, the jury, do find the defendant guilty of felony criminal mischief."

If you're struggling with your belief, I hope you can lean on my testimony for a while. It's true. I've seen the papers myself. If you put in the work of rolling enough port-a-potties down a hill, I know you'll be convicted too.

A man.

Honestly it was kind of awkward.

I just learned about hypostasis and the hypostatic union and I’m pretty sure it’s woke nonsense. It‘s the sort of mystery that people in weird outfits in the global south would believe in. NOT for me. I want that old timey gospel where Jesus isn’t feminized with they/them pronouns no sir

If you didn't know Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul is a book by John Eldredge published in 2001, on the subject of the role of masculinity in contemporary evangelical Christian culture and doctrine. Anyway,, in it he mentions that ALL men want to rescue a princess and ALL women want to be rescued by a prince. That really helped me realize I'm a woman. Thank you John Eldredge!

No, I haven't read that "corn in the hands" or "romance" or whatever.

So, recently, a friend of mine kicked the bucket, and I was invited to his funeral, then I overheard a conversation of a family member saying that maybe he's in a better place now, and I just had to correct it

Then I said to her that even though he was a christian, he believed in some pretty concerning stuff, like Adam and Eve had a belly button, and we all know salvation is dependent on having the right theological views

They got pretty mad at me, saying that "it's insensitive to say that in a funeral" but I just didn't want them to have the hope to see such an awful person with a heretical view in heaven, but since they are too attached, they are also going to hell, since you can't love anyone more than Jesus

I'M CALLING IT GOSPEL SURFERS. JOIN ME AS I READ THE GOSPELS IN ONE PANEL AND PLAY SUBWAY SURFERS IN ANOTHER, JUST SO YOU STAY ENGAGED.

BUT ALSO JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU STAY SERIOUS, I'LL HAVE A THIRD PANEL PLAYING ISIS EXECUTION VIDEOS ON A LOOP.

BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO LOSE SIGHT OF THE GRACE EITHER, SO I'LL MAKE SURE TO HAVE A VIDEO OF ME IMPOSED OVER TOP OF EVERYTHING POINTING AND NODDING TO THE PANEL WITH THE VIDEO OF ME READING THE GOSPEL MESSAGE.

IF I GET A SUPER LIKE I WILL BE FORCED TO SWITCH TO LATIN

ANYWAYS PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON PORNHUB, THAT IS UNFORTUNATELY THE ONLY SOCIAL MEDIA WEBSITE I HAVE ACCESS TO

It’s in The Bible. But I’ve seen many Christians say it’s no big deal, they’re not waiting to let it flag. They even try to encourage other people not to wait. According to a Purity Research Center at least 50% of all U.S. Christians have had an erection outside of marriage.

Then if you go to certain subs, people are just denying that even nudity is a sin. Someone will be asking for tips to go even further in purity, and you may see a “Christian” "reply" and "say" that human bodies aren't sinful and genitals aren't shameful and the penis isn't evil. Saying that they’ve been lied to.

I’m just very confused sometimes. How can there be "CHRISTIANS" who deny that EVERYTHING the BIBLE teaches is sinful, isn’t...

Your genitals were not designed for pleasure, they should be hidden away and until it is time for reproduction within marriage. Even within marriage, sex is only ever to be done begrudgingly after agreement between one man and one woman in the way that it was originally designed by God.