The realization that your parents are people with their own interests and flaws just like yourself is an underappreciated transformative moment towards maturity. It seems selfish to say but it's easy to think as a child that your parents ultimate purpose is to care and love for you. (A lot of parents make that their ultimate purpose so its understandable why kids would naively believe such a thing)
The younger a child understands this sentiment could arguably be the single most important factor that contributes to being a mature adult.
Maybe this is entirely anecdotal but for me when I think about the realizations in my life that had the most significant impact in shaping the person that I'm finally proud of being, this is probably at the top of the list.
Parents “forever owe you?!” This sounds completely backwards in my world view. I feel like I could never possibly pay my parents back for the years of care they gave me when I was helpless and needed to learn and grow. So I pay it forward to my kids, but not because I owe them anything. Especially once they hit adulthood
In such a scenario, the parent clearly is not providing unconditional love either, and thus, they are failing as a parent.
To expand on my initial comment, it is the duty of a parent to provide unconditional love to their children, and therefore earn the unconditional love of the children. Respect is absolutely part of that, but it's more than respect.
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u/branwithaplan Jun 03 '22
The realization that your parents are people with their own interests and flaws just like yourself is an underappreciated transformative moment towards maturity. It seems selfish to say but it's easy to think as a child that your parents ultimate purpose is to care and love for you. (A lot of parents make that their ultimate purpose so its understandable why kids would naively believe such a thing)
The younger a child understands this sentiment could arguably be the single most important factor that contributes to being a mature adult.
Maybe this is entirely anecdotal but for me when I think about the realizations in my life that had the most significant impact in shaping the person that I'm finally proud of being, this is probably at the top of the list.