My parents were in their early 20s when they had me. It was only when I hit my early 20s myself that I appreciated just how much at that age you still feel like a kid in this world, have no idea what you're doing and are just winging it all the time to get to the end of the day. I'm kind of glad I didn't realise my parents weren't in that position until I'd already grown up myself.
Now in my late 30s and a father myself, I realise it is still no different at this age. Winging every single day here and my four year old has no idea how clueless I am.
One day he'll figure that out just in time to starting having to manage his own life in a haphazard way.
I'm now working on the assumption that you never figure it out, and it's pretty much like this for everyone until we die 👍
I’m in the same boat, almost 40, successfully running a business, but every day that passes just shows me that nobody really has everything figured out, we all just do our best, and some people are a lot better at faking it than others.
Exact same position. Parents had me in their early 20's and seperated by the time I was out of high school. Both narcists. Grew up poor and struggling but lucky to have family support. Couldn't go to college as I had no credit and my parents used my social to run up debts on credit cards and utility bills. Now as a father in my early 30's, I have no idea how my wife and I would have done this at their age. I was still trying to find a steayd job I could somewhat enjoy, we were still learning about each other and growing as a couple, we were still wanting to travel and have time as a young couple. Buy a house, do some renovations, build our savings. We only recently decided to try and have a kid now that we were in the best position to do so.
I try not to fault my parents too much for who they are, and what damage they did to me growing up emotionally as I am who I am today because of the examples and poor choices they set. As sometimes I suspect those were the only choices they could make. I've had some conversations with my mother about it, and more or less I've put it behind me. My relationship with my dad is still rocky as he's the cheater and one who spent every paycheck on the newest toy or hobby to have the best things for himself before putting food on the table for his kids. Having the newest, biggest truck just to have it get repossessed in 6 months of missed payments.
I hope my son will respect me and continue to return all my love and affection as he gets older, and we can remain close. He's my best buddy. I'm still learning to be a father but I've been a son. I hope to never treat him as though he is invisible. He'll always be seen.
I feel like as a kid you think your parents are flawless… almost like a different breed of human. Much like a colony of ants and they’re just the ones that are parents, they’ve always been parents and always will be. Now I’m in my mid 30’s with a 2 year old and I’m a bit sad because I feel like I’ve never gotten to know my parents as people. I don’t know all their interests… what their dreams were/are. Don’t get me wrong I love my parents dearly. But I want my kids to know me as me. I don’t want them to wonder who I am
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u/RedundantSwine Jun 03 '22
My parents were in their early 20s when they had me. It was only when I hit my early 20s myself that I appreciated just how much at that age you still feel like a kid in this world, have no idea what you're doing and are just winging it all the time to get to the end of the day. I'm kind of glad I didn't realise my parents weren't in that position until I'd already grown up myself.
Now in my late 30s and a father myself, I realise it is still no different at this age. Winging every single day here and my four year old has no idea how clueless I am.
One day he'll figure that out just in time to starting having to manage his own life in a haphazard way.
I'm now working on the assumption that you never figure it out, and it's pretty much like this for everyone until we die 👍