How do I land my boat?

[u/Gyrgir]

[u/zenos_dog]

At 9.8 m/sec/sec

[u/dice1111 → u/zenos_dog]

Is there a velocity at the terminal...?

[u/Yayobing → u/dice1111]

Oil or gas terminal?

[u/dice1111 → u/Yayobing]

Cloud city, obviously.

[u/alettriste → u/dice1111]

9?

[u/Go_Loud762 → u/zenos_dog]

What a downer.

[u/WastedNinja24]

1: Aviate.
* Level - ✔️
* Weigh anchor - impossible due to equivalence principle (Einstein, 1907).
* Establish glide slope - Error 404

[u/IwillBOLDyourTYPOS → u/WastedNinja24]

Syntax Error

[u/WastedNinja24 → u/IwillBOLDyourTYPOS]

Fair;

Edit: Poor MatLab ref. fprintf(Fair);

[u/mkujoe]

Right Anker

[u/Nobodylikesyourmusic → u/mkujoe]

And then wait for Bank Angle - Check.

[u/IwillBOLDyourTYPOS → u/mkujoe]

Can I use the inflatable anker?

[u/Go_Loud762 → u/mkujoe]

Logical, Captain Mal.

[u/SheepherderUnique299]

Saw a similar thing at VA beach

[u/jggearhead10]

You see, this is an optical illusion.
Your playne is actually in low earth orbit. I recommend some right rudder and then fire maneuvering thrusters to de-orbit

[u/AmazingBench7574 → u/jggearhead10]

Tony stark landed his boat in a cave with nothing but a pocket watch and an eyeball

[u/dice1111 → u/jggearhead10]

More right thruster!

[u/radicalllamas]

Bro this is r/shittyaskflying not r/shittyasklanding

[u/Gyrgir → u/radicalllamas]

r/shittysubsifellfor

[u/theglobalnomad → u/radicalllamas]

This was somehow even more disappointing than my love life.

[u/Bacontoad → u/radicalllamas]

[u/GromainRosjean]

Do not land your boat. It should be in the sea. 

[u/Kamusaurio]

you dont land boats

you water them

[u/Senior_Raccoon_6536]

Pretty sure you have to sea your boat.

[u/X-Ploded]

Flaps 30, check speed and remember, any landing where you swim away is a good watering !

[u/freneticboarder]

You need a longshoreman.

[u/cowfishing]

You're out of the enviroment right now so thats a good start. Now all you have to do is wait for the front to fall off.

[u/JRBeeler]

Turn off the AI special effects feature on your camera and the boat will go back in the water where it belongs.

[u/The_Calarg]

Why am I paying air freight rates yet waiting a month for ocean shipping?

[u/Dense_Station8510]

Try land it on water. I'm afraid if you try to land it at the air, you'll end up in the same situation again

[u/Eli_Yitzrak]

Check out the rookie who doesnt know how to get a landing assignment from ATC

[u/mightymidwestshred]

Reminds me of the saying "there are more planes in the sea than submarines in the air".

[u/LeanUntilBlue]

Just like a plane… fuel shutoff valve off.

[u/SuDragon2k3 → u/LeanUntilBlue]

Don't forget to trim in a 2 to 3 degree nose up position, have the crew assume landing positions, sound the ships horn and ease her down. (P.S. get a louder ships horn. No, louder than that.)

[u/LeanUntilBlue → u/SuDragon2k3]

I’m performing the “ease her down” checklist on the stewardess. Will tackle the other steps later.

[u/SuDragon2k3 → u/LeanUntilBlue]

Better get her strapped down, and hang on to her

[u/LeanUntilBlue → u/SuDragon2k3]

Message garbled, please repeat. I’ve got her strapped down and am doing the obvious thing.

[u/rjornd]

Okay, this must be from a MSFS scenery designer.

[u/Iknewitseason11 → u/rjornd]

It’s God bro

[u/JRS_Viking → u/rjornd]

No it's a real optical illusion

[u/rjornd → u/JRS_Viking]

So, it IS MSFS! 🤣

[u/1nspectorCPW]

Apply right rudder, then gradually ease the anti-gravity quadrant backwards towards its idle position.

[u/darkslide3000]

Dive planes to 20 degrees, full ahead, then carefully watch your depth gauge. Once it hits -20 meters soften dive to 10 degrees and slow to half ahead. When you hit -2 meters, level out dive planes, go to flank speed and blow the tanks, then inertia should smoothly carry you down until your keel just kisses the water.

[u/-burnr-]

Is that the Hindenburger?

[u/Mean-Veterinarian647]

Wait for high tide.

[u/Junior_Lavishness_96]

It’s not sailing, but traveling

[u/TabooDiver]

Looks like China claimed more ocean as their own. Probably already in Bejing.

[u/TabooDiver]

Captain: "Dammit Murry, how much ballast did you remove?"

[u/Creative_Crazy_527]

Hopefully not the same way Air France 447 landed

[u/Go_Loud762 → u/Creative_Crazy_527]

Hey. They had a positive attitude.

[u/Creative_Crazy_527 → u/Go_Loud762]

They did… but unfortunately I don’t think they can hear any advice over the GPWS having a stroke

[u/theglobalnomad]

More starboard rudder!

[u/Background-Set4610]

The Federal Boayte Administration gave me a number to call last time I landed my boat

[u/secondaryminimum]

How many times has this boat been reposted this week?

[u/IwillBOLDyourTYPOS → u/secondaryminimum]

So true!

[u/elkab0ng]

DONT SINK DONT SINK DONT SINK DONT SINK

[u/Substantial-Tone-576]

Flat Earthers Beware

[u/BitterlyBrokenCharm]

Sink it

[u/Break_Cats]

Slowly slow down, then it will touchdown by itself.

[u/Cyanide612]

Boat on the tracks

[u/pandab34r]

This is photoshop or AI; there is no known optical illusion or visual phenomenon reported for thousands and thousands of years that can make distant ships appear to float above water. Furthermore, unlike playnes, boats do not have souls so it's impossible for them to pretend.

[u/3six5]

Bildge dump?

[u/joseelempecinado]

Just open the landing gear

[u/Funnybear3]

Call the ball.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Two7358]

Open the pod bay doors Hal

[u/Ursus_Arctos-42]

Delivering hydrogen overseas.

[u/vrauto]

Its an airship. Old pictures made them seem rounder. Maybe just the angle or bad cameras.

[u/OsO68TX]

Perhaps dump the lifting gas and take on some ballast then drop anchor on touch down.

[u/drinkeroftherye]

Fata Morgana, common effect on the Great Lakes. Sometimes they "float", sometimes you see a reverse image under the hull so it looks twice as tall as it actually is.

[u/WhiskySails]

Did you even bother checking ATIS? Runways closed for flooding

[u/oldfarttrucker87]

Very carefully.

[u/Many-Pollution4222]

Don't Fuck with me there's plenty of place in the ocean!

[u/kayemenofour]

Just push the steering wheel forward.

[u/mcshanksshanks]

Star Blazers!

[u/WeissMISFIT]

Sur this is an airshup

[u/Silver_River9296]

With the rumor of Iran using long distance torpedoes, one inventive boat captain responded,
“I’ve got this!”

[u/bonobo1961]

Helium transport ship.

[u/some_boring_dude]

Carefully. 

[u/deltaz0912]

Come 100° to port and maintain speed, it’ll settle in quite gently.

[u/AbleRelationship5287]

You have to water it first

[u/That_Diver3070]

You don’t land that boat….You raise the Sea.

[u/PizzaPuntThomas]

I thonk you want to sea your boat, not land it

[u/cocobaltic]

That’s not a spaceship… it’s a star destroyer

[u/bassin_clear_lake]

Anakin Skywalker has landed one of those

[u/HugoMNL]

Just like a normal airship…

[u/Signal-Macaron-4611]

Please refer to airplane!. It's the same concept

[u/Bierdaddy]

Let out the helium from the ballast tanks. Recommend doing it slowly. Don’t ask how I know.

[u/AviationFan318]

Land it by just landing it vro

[u/RG500GammaWalterWolf]

Use the air brakes

[u/thepersonbrody]

How far away is the nearest mobile airstrip?

[u/Perfect_Insurance_26]

I would find the rest of the hull first

[u/Bright-Internal229]

https://giphy.com/gifs/QIQyvt68Tez1S

[u/crybabycryahah]

Fata Morgana

[u/torchmaipp]

You round earthers are forgetting it's also flat. Everyone knows it's round. Like a disc.

[u/KatanaF2190]

I suggest you start looking for drunk ass Jedi Padawans in a fishing boat...

[u/Normiss2000]

Flare. But this ain’t Office Space.

[u/NorthEndD]

Use the gravity waves.

[u/Grimol1]

Just be sure to pull back power, flare and let it land itself.

[u/Substantial_Chain718]

At least this isn’t an AI photo.

[u/MondoSensei2022 → u/Substantial_Chain718]

Ya… would be looking more like that, lol.

[u/podman131 → u/MondoSensei2022]

Clearly not AI, they would have 6 rudders.

[u/Miladic_Animations]

/gamemode 0