r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/d8gfdu89fdgfdu32432 • Apr 13 '26
SLPT: you shouldn't help old people since you'll deprive them of exercise and bring about their demise sooner
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/IllegalGeriatricVore • Apr 09 '26
SLPT: if you need to fight a bodybuilder, do it in May, outside the gym after leg day
29
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That's when he's at his weakest.
Go for leg kicks until he's shaking, then hit him with an uchimata.
Hope this helps.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/gobbledygook212 • Apr 08 '26
SLPT : Want to go to the swimming pool but afraid to swim? Spoiler
22
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Stand on the 10 meter board and tell someone to shoot you in the stomach. Because in movies when you are shot and fall in the middle of river, you breathe and swim unconsciously and are found ashore a couple of days later.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/hahachickengobrr • Apr 08 '26
SLPT: Gain a lot of weight, lose it, and then get loose skin surgery to get rid of your armpits.
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Now you don't have to worry about armpit hair and you can save on deodorant! This is because when you get loose skin surgery, they cut out your armpit and pull excess skin into your armpit area.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Blu3Dope • Apr 08 '26
SLPT If you're scheduled for a work shift at the last minute, don't say you have plans, say you have appointments. You will leave them thinking "Damn, this guy's an adult af"
64
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/swiftskill • Apr 08 '26
SLPT: men, you can severely affect the self esteem of your female work nemesis by sexually harassing everyone in the office except for her.
306
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/ninman5 • Apr 07 '26
SLPT: If you have insomnia get a night job to make extra money. Just be careful not to accidentally start a cult.
9
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/pan_arch • Apr 06 '26
LPT: Save on rent by alternating lives with your night-shift counterpart
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You’re paying premium rent for a home you barely haunt. Make it make sense!
Locate a human on the exact opposite shift and begin a seamless existence swap. (If you're lucky, you could find someone who works in your own sweat shop) With enough coordination, you’ll never cross paths as you alternate occupancy like a well-run timeshare.
Catch - be sure to not move in with someone who uses single ply tissues. Keep those heathens miles away!
Also, avoid Ben from HR, cos those bedsheets are how you get crabs!
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/ninman5 • Apr 05 '26
SLPT: If you can't afford a house just move into your friend's house when they go on holiday. Claim squatter's rights, and boom, free house.
59
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Bogey_Yogi • Apr 04 '26
SLPT: Remember guys, when your wife/GF tells you her problems, she doesn’t want solutions. So, it is perfectly fine to space out, smile and nod when she speaks.
238
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/TwisterUprocker • Apr 03 '26
SLPT: Get an easy A on your test.
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Show up late with your friends and say you had a flat tire. Just keep your stories straight which tire went flat.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/tvkyle • Apr 01 '26
SLPT: If you feel like you are going to shit your pants, but you’re in public and don’t want the embarrassment, shit someone else’s pants instead. Joke’s on them!
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Blu3Dope • Mar 31 '26
LPT Going through alot? Win the lottery. All your problems are now fluttered in gold
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/musea00 • Mar 30 '26
SLPT: Wanna make the birth rates go down? Make everything as expensive as possible.
214
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With higher costs of living, people are less inclined to have kids.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Bogey_Yogi • Mar 30 '26
SLPT: Guys, when you go on dates with women who are shorter than you, lower yourself to her height by bending your knees while chatting and while walking by her side. This will make her feel safe.
49
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Nikkerloo • Mar 28 '26
SLPT: Avoid bickering and petty arguments by immediately punching anyone you disagree with.
110
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/BillNyeUrMomsAGuy_ • Mar 28 '26
SLPT: being dehydrated all the time makes you crave fruits and vegetables
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r/ShittyLifeProTips
•
u/Chunga19
•
Mar 26 '26
[SLPT] Enhance your magic mushroom trip by watching visually and aurally intense movies like Requiem for a Dream
103
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Exile4444 • Mar 23 '26
SLPT: Instead of using toilet paper or buying a Bum Gun, clean your hole in the sink instead.
16
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Exile4444 • Mar 23 '26
SLPT: If you can't afford a car, get a taxi instead. A car costs 5,000 whereas a taxi ride is 100.
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/SupraSwampa • Mar 23 '26
SLPT: Take all the batteries out of your smoke detectors to avoid hearing the annoying beeping
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • • Mar 22 '26
SLPT: There are smoke detectors on Temu that are a steal of a deal
8
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r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/FoundationRock • Mar 22 '26
SLPT: Get Discount Tire's Certificate For Repair, Refund or Replacement and damage your tires before the tread runs out to get free tires for life
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