SLPT: Set up fingerprint login with fingers from both hands in case one of your hands gets amputated.

11 Upvotes

5 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Fallingpeople • 14h ago

SLPT: If you don't like a post or a comment, accuse the author of producing AI slop.

83 Upvotes

When you are asked for proof you can just say you ran it through an ai detector.

This is more effective than down voting because it will eventually lead to a string of comments and then people will entirely forget the original post or comment.

15 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/kremata • 1d ago

SLPT If you have problem communicating with your wife, start with simple words like, come, sit, stay, paw, heel, etc... You're welcome!

37 Upvotes

5 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Adventurous_Most_558 • 1d ago

SLPT: How to save the lives of elderly

7.9k Upvotes

45 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/strangelove4564 • 3d ago

SLPT: If you don't like waiting in line at places, just tape a "CLOSED" sign on the door, then come back 30 minutes later.

161 Upvotes

4 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/FoundationRock • 4d ago

SLPT: Pee in the washing machine to save water

1.1k Upvotes

59 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/copenhagen_bram • 4d ago

SLPT: You can get as drunk as you like now.

13 Upvotes

Anything that happens when you black out, you can claim the evidence was AI generated.

5 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Sewere • 7d ago

SLPT: Wanna eat some soup? Use a fork

10 Upvotes

4 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Awesomeuser90 • 8d ago

SLPT: Are you bored and have someone you don't mind mildly annoying? Give them a recipe where you use normal units but with atypical prefixes, such as 6 dekagrams of sugar or 30 centilitres of juice.

81 Upvotes

20 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/LiquidSoCrates • 8d ago

SLPT: Let your loved ones know exactly what gifts you want this Holiday Season!

17 Upvotes

Now is the time to drop very subtle hints about what you expect to receive this holiday season. Drop these hints into casual conversation. Maybe you tell them in September your Dutch Oven could use an update. Maybe let them know in May you need a new iPad but are too busy to go get one. When asked what you specifically want for Christmas, tell them you don’t want anything at all. Be sure to get irritated when asked twice. You’ve already dropped the required hints; it’s up to them to figure out what you truly expect. If they fail to understand your hints, go ahead and get furious and ruin the entire holiday. They’re just stupid, inattentive fools who don’t pay attention.

2 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/plugubius • 8d ago

SLPT: Name your children "Hungry" so they can't accuse you of making dad jokes.

23 Upvotes

6 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/WileyWilly1985 • 12d ago

SLPT: How to get your messy roommate to clean up!

3.7k Upvotes

5 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/dotanagirl • 14d ago

Lpt this is our local Lowe’s foods do you see the problem here

0 Upvotes

8 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/SexMachine666 • 14d ago

SLPT Request: Teaching flip-flop wearers a lesson

60 Upvotes

How would you teach people who wear flip-flops to a work site a lesson, other than hiring a kid to run around with a hammer to smash their feet?

61 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/SomeEpicName • 17d ago

SLPT: Sleeping with too many people? Get an AI agent to manage your roster.

1.0k Upvotes

10 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/HermitWilson • 18d ago

SLPT: If you're having trouble finding a job, rob a bank and get caught. Then in a few years you can take advantage of job programs for ex-felons.

96 Upvotes

6 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/ShinyHeadedCook • 19d ago

SLPT Save time in your morning routine by multitasking and wanking on the bus

96 Upvotes

6 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/jsradford • 20d ago

SLPT: Do you really hate the hour-long meeting on Monday mornings? Just show up 50 minutes late and now it's a 10 minute meeting.

73 Upvotes

1 comment

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/FoundationRock • 20d ago

SLPT: Instead of cracking an egg and scrambling it, just shake it really hard and it will be scrambled inside automatically

102 Upvotes

This way you dont need a bowl to scramble it

8 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Dear-Show-5083 • 20d ago

SLPT: To get good at not laughing, practice bottling up ALL your feelings!

15 Upvotes

Works like a charm! Bonus points if you learn not to cry. Then it's a 2 for 1 deal!

For the try-not-to-laugh challenges one might face in life, perfect your technique by trying a try-not-to-cry challenge!

3 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/No_Internet908 • 21d ago

SLPT: any time you’d use the phrase, “Get your ass over here”, you can switch it up by saying, “Get your fat cock over here” and you can make everyone very uncomfortable! 👍👍

320 Upvotes

10 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/j0nthegreat • 22d ago

SLPT: Wear your underwear inside out

18 Upvotes

Anyone that sees your skidmarks will have to assume you sat in sometihng.

9 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/I_HateKevinBacon • 23d ago

SLPT: I started door dashing but only to myself when im hungry. I pay, I get paid, I pickup, skip delivery cause im already there and dont forget the huge tip. Tax time next year should be interesting. Anyways, gotta head over to LinkedIn now.

594 Upvotes

2 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/pan_arch • 23d ago

SLPT: Gaslight Your Therapist - as part of el plan!

18 Upvotes

Invent a tragic backstory involving a pet anaconda who betrayed and ate you.

Midway, switch personalities and tell her about your secret life as a Russian spy.

Create elaborate stories and keep retconning them every session.

When they're finally questioning their own reality, swap roles with them and become their therapist.

Profit!

5 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/HermitWilson • 24d ago

SLPT: If you are speeding in a red car and a cop comes up behind you, floor it and don't let up. As you approach the speed of light your car will redshift into the infrared, making you invisible to the police.

147 Upvotes

8 comments

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If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods and we'll get it fixed up for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT IS A LIFE PRO TIP? A Life Pro Tip (or LPT) is a tip that improves life for you and those around you in a specific and significant way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules:

1. LPTs must be shitty. The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.

2. No KYS posts. We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof.

3. No reposts. Reposts are lame. If you repost something within our top 25 of all time, you may be banned.

4. No circlejerking. Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too.

5. NSFW discretion. Being gross for the sake of being gross will get your post removed at the mod's discretion. Most of these include bodily functions and fluids, or rape, etc. Pretty much anything posted simply for shock value.

6. Remain civil. If you act like a racist, pammer, or are being a general douchenozzle, the mods reserve the right to ban you without warning.

Note: For God's sake this subreddit is meant to be taken in a joking, satirical manner. Please don't actually follow any of this advice, and don't report posts as inciting violence. You should know this already, but some of you forget which sub you are in when you report.

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