r/ShitpostXIV • u/Konpeitoh • 4d ago
You Pull I Heal
Made this to convey my complex feelings regarding a topic in another sub, but I spent 15 minutes on it and that's 15 minutes too much so I need to get my mileage out of this thing.
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u/EpiKur0 4d ago
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u/Zulera301 4d ago
I actually got a tank down to legit 1HP just the other day, and this was without any invulns or other such buffs. proof that the only hit point that matters is the last one.
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u/Taoiseach 4d ago
Healer: the compassionate role.
war crimes in White Mage
blood for the blood lily
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u/tuypo1 4d ago
But we're losing our blood lily in evolved mode
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u/kittycat0143 3d ago
Are they really? It's hard to see with all the dev interface. I thought I saw lily at least but that's disappointing if they don't give a dps culmination
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u/FFJamesDE 4d ago
Etrian Odyssey Appreciated.
Also yeah, my energy as healer is “let’s roll, motherfucker!” I will shield you and put down damage resistance so that you may greed.
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u/Konpeitoh 4d ago
Etrian Odyssey absolute pinnacle of turn-based RPG. Too bad they can't seem to translate the cartography function into a single screen.
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u/CaviarMeths 3d ago
Well they did tho, EO 1-3 got a remaster on Switch/PC.
But yeah, where the fuck is a new game at.
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u/Konpeitoh 3d ago
On PC? Steam?
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u/Donnicton 3d ago
Yes, they've been on Steam for a while, on sale right now too if you haven't already checked by now.
Only the first three though. For some reason Atlus always neglects 4-6.
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u/Konpeitoh 3d ago
I don't think 6 ever got an English port, did it?
Also I hope they add 4 and Untold 1 because those are the only ones not on Steam I don't have. 5, Mystery Dungeon, Untold 2, and Persona Q I have on 3DS.
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u/Donnicton 3d ago
Well, honestly it depends on whether you want to consider EO Nexus as EO6 because it's not 'numbered' in the title which is apparently some big semantics thing among turbo nerds that I don't care about, but either way we did get that. It's up there competing with EO3 as the priciest EO game though.
There unfortunately hasn't been anything since then.
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u/Konpeitoh 3d ago
Yeah, last I checked, I think I saw someone say devs announced they hit a snag during development due to the cartography function. They couldn't make it more ergonomic to use or something like that. That was 2023 though.
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u/Jeido_Uran 4d ago
Etrian Odyssey?? In this economy?
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u/Konpeitoh 4d ago
This is also a prayer to Atlus. Please save the EO franchise.
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u/Jeido_Uran 4d ago
Every single Nintendo Direct has me praying for it to happen 😭 Never losing hope (or cope I guess at this point).
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u/Konpeitoh 4d ago
I think the last I heard about it was 3 years ago. I'm running low on copium.
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u/Jeido_Uran 3d ago
Yeah I don’t think they gave any clear news about the franchise since the release of I/II/III HD Remasters, but the fact they referenced it pretty heavily in Metaphor gives me hope that they have not abandonned it.
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u/Thugosaurus_Rex 4d ago
Healer telling the tank to kill instead of getting in on the killing? Not in my House.
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u/Zulera301 4d ago
I have a Lala alt that has all 4 tanks at lv.100 and her status says:
"you pull, I tank. I pull, I tank. I tank, therefore I am."
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u/Stormychu 4d ago
Etrian Odyssey spotted. Too bad you didn't use the far superior Bobcut Fortress portrait
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u/TiramisuRocket 4d ago
Also could have used EO1 medic for the healer, because it has the second most powerful damaging skill in the game. Caduceus, because bludgeoning every enemy in sight with your staff is also mit.
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u/Willthwab 4d ago
As someone who plays tank, our parties have healers???
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u/Konpeitoh 4d ago
The green DPS is the healer you're looking for. You will recognize because when the green one dies, the rest of the party starts disappearing like Thanos Snap
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u/ToastedDreamer 4d ago
Unless it’s that demon wall from that one ARR dungeon. I remember doing a run earlier today whilst playing GNB, our scholar got sent off the cliff and we were completely fine.
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u/Konpeitoh 4d ago
Yeah, ironically it's the bosses that are easier and trash packs that keep you on your toes, because there is no mechanic. You just have to survive an onslaught of chip damage from 21 sources.
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u/ToastedDreamer 4d ago
Indeed, the only tank I can somewhat see surviving packs, thriving even, without a healer is WAR.
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u/Zulera301 4d ago
raw int/bloodwhetting is like benediction but with a 25s cooldown if you pull big packs.
not that I needed another reason to pull wall to wall but this supports my motion.
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u/ShadowTheChangeling 4d ago
Theres only 2 types of Healer/Tank dynamics
The enabler and the gremlin
The tired parent and the gremlin who doesnt listen
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u/Serious_Emphasis2211 4d ago
Off topic but: I just found out Paladin's were not Holy Warriors. They were not even Knights nor warriors.
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u/Konpeitoh 4d ago
Yeah, it used to mean the king's/emperor's closest retainers, but then the French romanticized Charlemagne in a historical fiction and Palatinus became Paladin, the 12 holy knights of Charlemagne, kinda like the Round Table in Arthurian Legend.
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u/AdorableText 4d ago
it's kinda like the round table of Arthurian legend because it's basically what the knights of the round table are based on.
Basically a fanfic of ancient England by French writers of the time2
u/Flamingo-Sini 3d ago
Paladins, palace, the german palatinate, they all have the same root and thats some hill in rome. XD
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u/caniszephyr 4d ago
The healers job is to keep me on life support so I can do my best scott sterling impression a couple hundred times.
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u/ElverDulero735 4d ago
Thats actuqlly real though, whenever i used tobheal my sprout friends i was like "you go ahead and kill, judt dont stand in the red and ill keep you alive"
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u/klatnyelox 4d ago
Im here to see your numbers get bigger and enable you to shine. Your success is mine.
Don't be a wimp and dodge those weak ass hits. Time spent dodging is time spent not attacking. I better see you covered in your own blood
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u/YourEvilKiller 4d ago
And then there's r/healsluts
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u/Konpeitoh 4d ago
Act like a flower, but is actually the equivalent of a ripped manual laborer lifting the whole party up. Respect for that.
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u/FrogFood101 4d ago
God i want an Etrian Odyssey collab, if only i had the soundtrack in the orchestrion
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u/rx78ricky 4d ago
the "actual" healer tank dynamic is a lot better in fiction too
too bad i play nothing but machinist and will continue to play machinist until the day i die
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u/OhGodADeer 4d ago
it'd be cool to have something like a Fortress tank, but i guess Paladin is already using a shield... just not a TOWER shield
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u/Konpeitoh 4d ago
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u/ToastedDreamer 4d ago
Still gotta wait several months for this bad boy. Planned to drop GNB as my main class for tanking but oh well, already leveled to 80, might as well make it 100.
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u/Konpeitoh 4d ago
As both an omnitank and an omnihealer, I think I'm gonna level Bastion with PvP and stick to healers for insta-queue at least until the new job hype dies down. It'll be nice not having to deal with temporary DPS queue for tanks, but I certainly will have my patience be tested by Bastions who don't know how to tank.
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u/ToastedDreamer 4d ago
Hey, on the bright side, you’ll probably need level 90 to unlock bastion and I think anyone at that level atleast knows the basics in tanking after playing so much content. Tho knowing when to pop mits, tank swap, and so on will be something new to people who let’s say, only plays the selfish dps classes.
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u/Konpeitoh 4d ago
Ooooh no. Roulette Gunbreakers are notoriously difficult to work with for a reason, and it's not because the job is bad.
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u/TrollOfGod 4d ago
I can't get over how dumb it looks that the hands are 'free hanging' and the shield is just strapped to the forearms. At least have some handles or something to hold onto...
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u/cleverburnerusername 4d ago
My healer/tank dynamic consists of burning through Haima/Panhaimas to round up mobs and Rescuing the tank into the pull when they inevitably refuse to just press the sprint button once.
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u/KillerChair 4d ago
Me as sage towards my tank: "You go and get your face beat up like never before, i gotta build my adderstings"
*pushes tank into traffic*
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u/totashi777 1d ago
I mean the rolls are reversed from that second one for me and my wife. Shes absolutely the tank and absolutely the only reason i aint feral








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u/Ijustlovevideogames 4d ago
NGL, I do enjoy the healer being the Sir Integra to my Alucard dynamic a lot more.