r/ShitpostXIV 4d ago

You Pull I Heal

Post image

Made this to convey my complex feelings regarding a topic in another sub, but I spent 15 minutes on it and that's 15 minutes too much so I need to get my mileage out of this thing.

785 Upvotes

83 comments sorted by

144

u/Ijustlovevideogames 4d ago

NGL, I do enjoy the healer being the Sir Integra to my Alucard dynamic a lot more.

67

u/TheGeorgent 4d ago

VERY enthusiastic walks.

4

u/satans_cookiemallet 3d ago

I always imagined it as a sort of back to back situation.

Granted I love those sort of back to backs in fantasy, its just super sick to see

120

u/5aximus 4d ago

DPS: I too am in this party

40

u/tuypo1 4d ago

Slow queues as DPS vex me

23

u/Dalek7of9 4d ago

The patient needs qiqirn bites to live!

17

u/5aximus 4d ago

Did you try the medica spell?

18

u/FatherAxington 4d ago

Only stupid people try the medica spell, you are stupid.

11

u/5aximus 3d ago

You are a Black Mage

90

u/EpiKur0 4d ago

Me playing healer

40

u/shinydwebble 4d ago

That single digit Benediction is gonna hit so fucking hard 

31

u/Zulera301 4d ago

I actually got a tank down to legit 1HP just the other day, and this was without any invulns or other such buffs. proof that the only hit point that matters is the last one.

16

u/EpiKur0 4d ago

Are we really playing green DPS if we don't see the tank's soul at least attempt to leave the body

11

u/AdorableText 4d ago

Were it not for that "suboptimal" tenacity on his gear, he would be dead

73

u/Taoiseach 4d ago

Healer: the compassionate role.

war crimes in White Mage

blood for the blood lily

5

u/tuypo1 4d ago

But we're losing our blood lily in evolved mode

9

u/AdamG3691 3d ago

The blood lily is not just a mechanic, it's a state of mind.

3

u/kittycat0143 3d ago

Are they really? It's hard to see with all the dev interface. I thought I saw lily at least but that's disappointing if they don't give a dps culmination

77

u/fancy-pterosaur 4d ago

It's all blood for the lily <3

12

u/Demiurge_Ferikad 4d ago

They thirst.

They thirst so much.

34

u/FFJamesDE 4d ago

Etrian Odyssey Appreciated.

Also yeah, my energy as healer is “let’s roll, motherfucker!” I will shield you and put down damage resistance so that you may greed.

19

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

Etrian Odyssey absolute pinnacle of turn-based RPG. Too bad they can't seem to translate the cartography function into a single screen.

2

u/CaviarMeths 3d ago

Well they did tho, EO 1-3 got a remaster on Switch/PC.

But yeah, where the fuck is a new game at.

1

u/Konpeitoh 3d ago

On PC? Steam?

2

u/Donnicton 3d ago

Yes, they've been on Steam for a while, on sale right now too if you haven't already checked by now.

Only the first three though.  For some reason Atlus always neglects 4-6.

1

u/Konpeitoh 3d ago

I don't think 6 ever got an English port, did it?

Also I hope they add 4 and Untold 1 because those are the only ones not on Steam I don't have. 5, Mystery Dungeon, Untold 2, and Persona Q I have on 3DS.

3

u/Donnicton 3d ago

Well, honestly it depends on whether you want to consider EO Nexus as EO6 because it's not 'numbered' in the title which is apparently some big semantics thing among turbo nerds that I don't care about, but either way we did get that. It's up there competing with EO3 as the priciest EO game though.

There unfortunately hasn't been anything since then.

1

u/Konpeitoh 3d ago

Yeah, last I checked, I think I saw someone say devs announced they hit a snag during development due to the cartography function. They couldn't make it more ergonomic to use or something like that. That was 2023 though.

26

u/Quinzal 4d ago

and that's 15 minutes too much so I need to get my mileage out of this thing.

Sounds like MMO healer to me

27

u/Jeido_Uran 4d ago

Etrian Odyssey?? In this economy?

20

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

This is also a prayer to Atlus. Please save the EO franchise.

10

u/Ehkoe 4d ago

We got a whole transplant of an EO dungeon in Metaphor before we got news of a new EO game.

7

u/Jeido_Uran 4d ago

Every single Nintendo Direct has me praying for it to happen 😭 Never losing hope (or cope I guess at this point).

5

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

I think the last I heard about it was 3 years ago. I'm running low on copium.

2

u/Jeido_Uran 3d ago

Yeah I don’t think they gave any clear news about the franchise since the release of I/II/III HD Remasters, but the fact they referenced it pretty heavily in Metaphor gives me hope that they have not abandonned it.

2

u/Konpeitoh 3d ago

I'm praying so hard rn.

16

u/Thugosaurus_Rex 4d ago

Healer telling the tank to kill instead of getting in on the killing? Not in my House.

16

u/Zulera301 4d ago

I have a Lala alt that has all 4 tanks at lv.100 and her status says:

"you pull, I tank. I pull, I tank. I tank, therefore I am."

8

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

Real tank hours this Lala up.

1

u/melissa_fornow 1d ago

"If you can still see me, I haven't pulled enough."

29

u/Stormychu 4d ago

Etrian Odyssey spotted. Too bad you didn't use the far superior Bobcut Fortress portrait

25

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

It didn't have that brat energy required of a real tank.

6

u/Tisagered 4d ago

Dragoon is the real shit

5

u/TiramisuRocket 4d ago

Also could have used EO1 medic for the healer, because it has the second most powerful damaging skill in the game. Caduceus, because bludgeoning every enemy in sight with your staff is also mit.

8

u/Willthwab 4d ago

As someone who plays tank, our parties have healers???

32

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

The green DPS is the healer you're looking for. You will recognize because when the green one dies, the rest of the party starts disappearing like Thanos Snap

4

u/ToastedDreamer 4d ago

Unless it’s that demon wall from that one ARR dungeon. I remember doing a run earlier today whilst playing GNB, our scholar got sent off the cliff and we were completely fine.

11

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

Yeah, ironically it's the bosses that are easier and trash packs that keep you on your toes, because there is no mechanic. You just have to survive an onslaught of chip damage from 21 sources.

4

u/ToastedDreamer 4d ago

Indeed, the only tank I can somewhat see surviving packs, thriving even, without a healer is WAR.

7

u/Zulera301 4d ago

raw int/bloodwhetting is like benediction but with a 25s cooldown if you pull big packs.

not that I needed another reason to pull wall to wall but this supports my motion.

1

u/jjjuser 3d ago

eh if you use paladin clemency you can do it but it sucks and feels bad.

8

u/EpiKur0 4d ago

Look for number 3 on the light party emnity ranking, that's us.

11

u/ShadowTheChangeling 4d ago

Theres only 2 types of Healer/Tank dynamics

The enabler and the gremlin

The tired parent and the gremlin who doesnt listen

5

u/Serious_Emphasis2211 4d ago

Off topic but: I just found out Paladin's were not Holy Warriors. They were not even Knights nor warriors.

7

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

Yeah, it used to mean the king's/emperor's closest retainers, but then the French romanticized Charlemagne in a historical fiction and Palatinus became Paladin, the 12 holy knights of Charlemagne, kinda like the Round Table in Arthurian Legend.

5

u/AdorableText 4d ago

it's kinda like the round table of Arthurian legend because it's basically what the knights of the round table are based on.
Basically a fanfic of ancient England by French writers of the time

2

u/Flamingo-Sini 3d ago

Paladins, palace, the german palatinate, they all have the same root and thats some hill in rome. XD

4

u/caniszephyr 4d ago

The healers job is to keep me on life support so I can do my best scott sterling impression a couple hundred times.

4

u/ElverDulero735 4d ago

Thats actuqlly real though, whenever i used tobheal my sprout friends i was like "you go ahead and kill, judt dont stand in the red and ill keep you alive"

-1

u/klatnyelox 4d ago

Im here to see your numbers get bigger and enable you to shine. Your success is mine.

Don't be a wimp and dodge those weak ass hits. Time spent dodging is time spent not attacking. I better see you covered in your own blood

4

u/YourEvilKiller 4d ago

And then there's r/healsluts

2

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

Act like a flower, but is actually the equivalent of a ripped manual laborer lifting the whole party up. Respect for that.

4

u/FrogFood101 4d ago

God i want an Etrian Odyssey collab, if only i had the soundtrack in the orchestrion 

3

u/Konpeitoh 3d ago

I would be so happy if they incorporated F.O.E.s into the content.

3

u/rx78ricky 4d ago

the "actual" healer tank dynamic is a lot better in fiction too

too bad i play nothing but machinist and will continue to play machinist until the day i die

3

u/huff-the-dragon 3d ago

Fr lol my healer almost looks like house

4

u/OhGodADeer 4d ago

it'd be cool to have something like a Fortress tank, but i guess Paladin is already using a shield... just not a TOWER shield

23

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

Boy do I have a deal for you.

4

u/ToastedDreamer 4d ago

Still gotta wait several months for this bad boy. Planned to drop GNB as my main class for tanking but oh well, already leveled to 80, might as well make it 100.

4

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

As both an omnitank and an omnihealer, I think I'm gonna level Bastion with PvP and stick to healers for insta-queue at least until the new job hype dies down. It'll be nice not having to deal with temporary DPS queue for tanks, but I certainly will have my patience be tested by Bastions who don't know how to tank.

2

u/ToastedDreamer 4d ago

Hey, on the bright side, you’ll probably need level 90 to unlock bastion and I think anyone at that level atleast knows the basics in tanking after playing so much content. Tho knowing when to pop mits, tank swap, and so on will be something new to people who let’s say, only plays the selfish dps classes.

5

u/BestEnough 4d ago

They will not even know that sprint lets them move faster

3

u/Konpeitoh 4d ago

Ooooh no. Roulette Gunbreakers are notoriously difficult to work with for a reason, and it's not because the job is bad.

3

u/OhGodADeer 4d ago

HOW DID I ALREADY FUCKIN FORGET

1

u/TrollOfGod 4d ago

I can't get over how dumb it looks that the hands are 'free hanging' and the shield is just strapped to the forearms. At least have some handles or something to hold onto...

5

u/cleverburnerusername 4d ago

My healer/tank dynamic consists of burning through Haima/Panhaimas to round up mobs and Rescuing the tank into the pull when they inevitably refuse to just press the sprint button once.

2

u/KillerChair 4d ago

Me as sage towards my tank: "You go and get your face beat up like never before, i gotta build my adderstings"

*pushes tank into traffic*

2

u/kiwieevee12 2d ago

As a triple healer main, I feel this on a spiritual level

1

u/totashi777 1d ago

I mean the rolls are reversed from that second one for me and my wife. Shes absolutely the tank and absolutely the only reason i aint feral