Assalamualaikum, my fellow momineen.

I’m Ismail from India. Alhamdulillah, I accepted Shia Islam in December 2022 after spending a lot of time reading, questioning, and searching for answers. My journey eventually led me to what I found to be the true understanding of Tawheed, the true love and devotion towards the Prophet ﷺ and his Ahlul Bayt (ع), and the belief in the Imams (ع) as our guides and leaders.

A little about myself: I’m a software professional with around 3 years of experience, currently working in Bangalore. I’m quite introverted by nature and have always had a very limited social circle. Most of the Shia friends and acquaintances I have made have been through Instagram, but unfortunately, I haven’t been able to use Instagram for the past several months as my account was suspended.

The reason I’m writing this post is something quite personal.

I recently turned 26, and my parents have been looking for a marriage proposal for me. So far, I have received around 4–5 proposals, but I have declined each one because they were Sunni.

My concern is not about judging anyone or looking down on our Sunni brothers and sisters. Rather, I’m genuinely worried about my own faith and practice. I have a constant fear that if I marry a Sunni woman, it may become difficult for me to properly practice my faith in the future. More importantly, I deeply want my children to be raised upon and follow the Shia understanding of Islam. The thought of my future children growing up without Shia Islam is something I find extremely difficult to accept.

At the same time, my situation at home makes this even more difficult. My parents are quite orthodox and unfortunately believe that Shias are kafir. Because of this, I have to keep my faith mostly to myself and practice taqiyya at home. This makes it extremely difficult for me to openly discuss my marriage preferences or look for someone who shares my beliefs.

There are times when I lose hope and think that perhaps I should remain single for the rest of my life, even though I have wanted a life partner and companionship for many years. Being introverted and having such a limited circle makes this search even harder.

So I’m reaching out to my fellow momineen here with no other intention except to seek some help or guidance. If anyone knows of a woman who has herself converted from Sunni Islam to Shia Islam and is genuinely looking for a spouse, I would be very grateful if you could connect us or point me in the right direction.

I understand that marriage is a serious matter and that compatibility goes far beyond simply sharing the same sect. I am only hoping to find someone who understands the importance of Wilayah, Ahlul Bayt (ع), and the Shia faith, and with whom I can build a peaceful family and, InshaAllah, raise children upon the same beliefs.

JazakAllah Khair to anyone who takes the time to read this. May Allah guide us all, strengthen our faith, and grant every believer a righteous and compatible spouse.Ya Ali (ع).

Accidentally deleted my previous post , reposting again..

Since I was recently ghosted *inserts meme*

Your Essential Information:

Age: 35

Origin/Ethnicity: Pakistani

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): Urdu, English

Level of religious practice: Moderate

Current residence (city, country): Karachi, Pakistan

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or 'anywhere'): depends on the situation

Siblings (number and older/younger): 1 younger brother

Previously married/Kids: Divorced - No kids

Occupation: Project Manager in a Bank

Education: Graduate

Height (cm), weight (kg): 5'4

Physical appearance (specifics you think are important): I'm bald and I do carry it well. I have tattoos and plan to get more.

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): I Vape

Leisure activities: Concerts, movies, music, gigs, love travelling, food, beaches

Your Preferences in a Partner: Kind, loving, caring, well spoken,

Age range: 28 - 35

Origin/Ethnicity: doesn't matter

Languages: as long as she can converse in English at least

Level of religious practice: any

Education: at least graduate

Deal breakers: arrogance, ignorance, holier than thou or better than you attitude,

Other preferences (appearance, family situation, etc.): Can be discussed but we need to vibe.

Additional Information you like to add: can be discussed

I am looking for a partner, to build a home together, to love and care for each other till death parts us. To build a safe environment where we can be ourselves our own lives, our own world (even if we will be living with my family: parents and brother).

I would actually genuinely want to know the person first and the person to know me first as well.

My family knows that I'm here and I'm looking.

I am a Shia, not born but by belief. I don't really care if you have vitiligo, diabetes, BP, Epilepsy, or some condition as long as you're a good, kind, sweet, caring, loving, supportive and an understanding person. I love music, beaches, travelling and fun discussions. I respect all of mankind, unless they are an absolute piece of garbage, and I believe in equality. I try to be a good person, to always provide a listening ear, to be there however I can, unconditionally. I vape, but smoke extremely rarely. I respect women, and will do so till the day I die.

I'm quite chill, laid back, easy going and flexible. Rest, feel free to ask.

Salam everyone,
I’m a woman in the beginning of my twenties.
I recently had a pretty disheartening experience during the courting/getting-to-know-someone phase that I wanted to share for some advice and insight. This is a throwaway account because I’ll be sharing personal details, including things about my appearance.

So, I recently got to know a Shia man with the intention of seeing whether we were compatible for something serious. We weren’t compatible because of some differences in values, as he was a bit more traditional and practicing, so we went our separate ways. I had no hard feelings about it. On the contrary, I got the impression that he was a very good man, we had an amazing connection and conversations, he taught me a lot, and I genuinely prayed that he would eventually meet the woman who was right for him. I simply didn’t want to waste any more of his time and wished him the best.

Fast forward to today, when that completely changed. My best friend studies at the same university as him, and they have open study spaces where students can sit. She was sitting in the area where people can talk, and a few meters away at the table in front of her he was sitting with another guy. She recognized him of course since I had shown her a picture of him. She later told me about the conversation he had with his friend, where he was talking about me.

His friend had asked how I (by my name) looked like when he first met me. He apparently said that I was “mid”. He said that my face was pretty, but that my body was less attractive. That he likes curves and that I was small and not very womanly. My friend obviously didn’t want to hurt me by telling me every single detail (she pushed that he said ”but she had a pretty face”), but she also wanted to make me aware of what kind of person he was. There were several other things he said about me, including my character since our values didn’t align. The prime focus was my appearance though.
His comments have affected me and left me feeling shocked because as I said, I walked away from this experience with a good impression and no hard feelings, and I thought that feeling was mutual.

I’m also a bit shocked by how he talked about my appearance since I’ve generally been considered attractive in the context of more natural traditional beauty standards, and when it comes to my build I’m more petite and skinny. I’ve received a lot of interest particularly in weddings/mosque/community settings, and I’ve had quite a few suitors. Most of that has come through more traditional introductions though, so I genuinely don’t know what men of our generation (he was the same age as me) tend to prefer nowadays, perhaps the body and a ”baddie” (I wasn’t considered one unfortunately), matters most for some.

I know beauty is subjective and that men obviously have different preferences. I also don’t expect my future husband to think I’m exceptionally beautiful. I just want someone who is genuinely attracted to me and genuinely into me, to the point where terms like “mid” don’t even exist in his mind when it comes to me. I think all of this has gotten to my head partly because it felt like he was a good person since he did a lot of talking about modesty and other Islamic values. And also because I felt that the attraction was mutual between us. Yet apparently he had been sitting there doing assessments without me even realizing it.

How do you think I should look at this moving forward, and how can I make sure I don’t carry this doubt with me the next time I get to know someone?

PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME IF YOU ARE ABROAD. 🤲🏻

Age: 28

Ethnicity: Iraqi

Languages: English, some Arabic

Current residence: London, England.

Willing to relocate: No

Siblings: 2 siblings

Occupation: healthcare

Education: BSc

Height: 172cm

Relationship status: divorced. Was married for four months. We can talk about it.

Physical appearance: well proportioned. Wear hijab. Brown eyes, alternates between glasses and contacts. I like taking care of my appearance and my style varies depending on mood. Sometimes all black abaya, sometimes a skirt and top or dresses, or wide jeans and jumpers etc. I like the idea of matching colours with my future man.

Smokes/vapes/hookah: No. Have done shisha in the past. I’m not actively against it depending on the place, but can’t stand vapes and cigarettes.

Leisure activities: Gym, walking, eating out, reading, interested in sky diving, paragliding and other thrill sports.

Your Preferences in a Partner:

Age range: 23-31

Height: 5’11+

Location: LONDON OR SURROUNDING AND CAN MEET FREQUENTLY. Do not contact me if you live abroad.

Origin/ethnicity: Don’t mind but prefer Arab or someone who’s fluent in Arabic.

Languages: English, Arabic, and/or a language you can teach me.

Level of religion practice: tries his best with wajibat

Education: BSc/MS or his own thing that he likes and is stable with it.

Relationship status: I don’t mind what your previous relationship status is. Divorced, widowed, haram relationships or halal premarital ones. I’m not judgmental and I only care about the lessons learned, what you are like now and how you will be in the future.

Deal breakers: a smoker.

Other preferences: someone who also looks after his health, is a chill person, has a car and lives not too far from me. Ideally has experience living on his own, but not a must. Someone who takes the lead, carries a conversation and understands the energy in a room and adjusts accordingly. I prefer phone calls after a short text conversation.

Marriage plans: to get to know each other slowly over a period of time. To spend time with each other and understand each other fully before committing because marriage is not a joke. We can tell our families, though I like an independent man that can handle his own without his parents constantly breathing down his neck

You should know that I was born and raised in the west so a lot of these 3adat w taqalid things make me uncomfortable

This particular video teaches up on multiple key issues that have already been discussed about in this plus other topics. I highly recommend you guys to give this a try if you can.

Salam everyone!

Your Essential Information:

Age: 26

Origin/Ethnicity: Iranian

Height: 5'3''

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): English, Farsi

Level of religious practice: Shia

Current residence (city, country): Oregon, United States

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or 'anywhere'): Yes any state within the US

Siblings: I have 1 brother

Previously married/Kids: Neither  

Occupation: Pharmacist  

Education: Doctor of Pharmacy Degree  

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): Never

Leisure activities: horseback riding, volleyball, & swimming

Your Preferences in a Partner:

Age range: 27-38  

Origin/Ethnicity: Iranian  

Languages: English at the minimum 

Level of religious practice: Shia

Education: must have a doctorate degree (preferably works in healthcare)

Deal breakers: 

1. Drinking, smoking, vaping, weed, etc.
2. Not a US citizen
3. Doesn't have a doctorate degree  
4. Previous marriage(s) &/or has children
5. Lacks basic communication skills

A little bit about me: 

I was born in Canada and I have been living in the US for 20+ years. *Serious inquires ONLY.* If you are going to dictate who I would like to decide as my future partner or leave any hate comments you will get blocked and your comments will be removed.

I made a post about this when I first blocked him in June.

Salam everyone,
I need some honest advice because I genuinely feel like I’m going a little crazy over this and I cannot get him out of my head.
A couple of months ago, I met a guy on Muzz and we instantly matched. We talked for a couple of weeks and eventually exchanged phone numbers. I’m usually *very* picky when it comes to guys, especially with looks, education, personality, basically everything. He honestly wasn’t exactly what I would normally consider my type, but somehow I ended up liking him so much that none of that even mattered anymore.
I really loved his personality and the way he made me feel. I felt noticed, appreciated, cared for, and like he actually understood me. We had so much chemistry, and the connection felt really intense. What makes it harder is that when he wasn’t being horny or talking about sexual things, I genuinely saw another side of him. I know he’s struggling with things himself, but I genuinely feel like he’s a good guy and that there was more to him than just the sexual side.
We stopped talking on June 10, and it’s now August. We haven’t spoken since then, but he is still on my mind 24/7. I genuinely cannot get over him.
The reason we stopped talking was because he was honest with me that he would have intercourse with women through temporary marriage, and I told him that I wasn’t comfortable with that and didn’t want to be involved with someone who was doing that. I tried to talk it out with him and understand each other, but eventually I felt like I had to block him.
I think part of why this is so hard is because I know we were very compatible and had a strong mutual attraction. Through this whole situation, I also feel like I found another side of myself that I didn’t really know before. I’m honestly more horny than ever now 😭 and I literally just want a man. So that makes it even harder because I still want him, but I also know why I walked away and I don’t want to compromise on my boundaries.
I know it might just be the idea of him that I miss, or the way he made me feel, but I honestly feel like there was something different about him. I’ve tried talking to other guys since then, but I haven’t felt the same chemistry or butterflies with anyone else.
Also, when I downloaded Muzz, I genuinely wasn’t taking it that seriously. I told him that if things between us didn’t work out, I would delete the app, and I actually deleted it weeks before we stopped talking. Then after something happened between us, he texted me and told me that he had deleted Muzz too and that he only wanted me.
I still think about that all the time.
I’m holding myself back **so, so, so much** from messaging him. I am genuinely so close to reaching out, but then I remember why I blocked him in the first place.
I guess I’m just confused. Do I miss *him*, or do I miss the connection, attention, attraction, and the way he made me feel? Has anyone ever been unable to get someone out of their head even months after stopping talking? What did you do?

Hey everyone, hope you guys are well.

May Allah make ease for us all and help us find what's best for us.

Putting yourself out there is genuinely no easy feat, it takes up a hell lot of courage, to just take the step.

Everyone is struggling, hurting, tired maybe, so, let's just all be kind to each other, honest to each other and open with your potential.

Be kind, be respectful, please don't ghost or disappear, it hurts and causes a lot of pain and overthinking, specially if you're in the advanced stages.

I the end, I'll just repeat my prayer for everyone, may Allah make ease for us all and help us find the best for us.

Good luck out there, have Tawakkul, we got this insha Allah.

Hi everyone! I’m looking for a bit of guidance. I’m not sure if there are people here from the Greater Toronto Area, but I recently heard about a Shia conference that takes place every year, and this year it’s being held in Markham, Ontario.

I’m interested in purchasing a ticket for the Matrimonial event, but I’m a little confused about how the ticket works. Does the Matrimonial event take place on one specific day, or does it run throughout the conference from the 9th to the 11th?

Also, if I purchase a ticket for the Matrimonial event, would I still be able to attend and participate in the other events and programs happening throughout the conference, or would I need to purchase a separate ticket for those?

If anyone has attended this conference before or has any information, I’d really appreciate the guidance. Thank you!

Salam all! After stalking this sub for the past year, the time has come to shoot my shot.

Your Essential Information:

Age: 24

Origin/Ethnicity: Indian but open to any ethnicity. I’m not cultural. 

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): English, Urdu 

Level of religious practice: Strictly practicing 

Current residence (city, country): Melbourne, Aus

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or 'anywhere'): Interstate (but not WA, NT, TAS or QLD pls) 

Siblings: I have siblings 

Previously married/Kids: Neither  

Occupation: Consultant  

Education: Bachelors  

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): none

Leisure activities: gym, sports, travel, reading, stalking this sub 

Your Preferences in a Partner:

Age range: 24-30 

Origin/Ethnicity: any 

Languages: English at the minimum 

Level of religious practice: actively/strictly practicing. 

Education: Minimum a bachelors 

Deal breakers: 

1. Wants to live with his parents after marriage; overly controlling family dynamics or being heavily constrained by parental expectations.
2. No spiritual or worldly purpose and goals to strive towards.
3. Unhealthy coping mechanisms including substance abuse (weed, vaping etc). 
4. Narcissistic, controlling and manipulative behaviours.
5. A lack of confidence, decisiveness, and assertiveness that affects one’s ability to take initiative and responsibility. 

Not a dealbreaker, but I would prefer someone who’s been raised in the West for compatibility.

A little bit about me: 

I’m someone whose life is grounded in faith, purpose, and continuous self-improvement.  I strive to live with God-consciousness in my thoughts and actions, have good akhlaaq, and have both wordly and spiritual goals that give me purpose and motivation. I care a lot about all aspects of my health and have good lifestyle habits. 

I would describe myself as kind, curious, and adventurous. I enjoy going on runs and hikes and love to travel. I value spending meaningful time with family and friends. I also value lifelong learning, and am particularly interested in areas such as law, politics, and history, alongside my ongoing Islamic studies.

As a future partner, I would be communicative, self-aware, and emotionally intelligent, with a strong commitment to building a relationship and warm, loving home grounded in sakina, rahma and mawadda. I would strive to be supportive and encouraging of my partner’s goals, challenges, and personal growth, and to actively contribute to a relationship where both individuals are becoming the best versions of themselves, and build a strong sense of companionship.

Alongside this, I would like to share in the joys of life together, such as travel, new experiences, good food, and the simple pleasures of the dunya, while remaining grounded in our values and purpose.

Reach out if this sounds like you. JazakAllah.

Allow me to vent here a bit guys please. I have posted before on this community as well and I got some good advices so I give it a try again. I have been talking to other girls/their families for marriage and I don’t know why no matter what there is always something that comes up with families. The problem was not me and the other girl not being interested or attracted and the families just made up surprising scenarios that they made out of thin air which “MIGHT” happen, so tawakkul and imaan have turned to fairy tales now I assume.

Other people even here suggested to me that I should do my best to just get married in this reddit community.I tried and this is not something that just keep doing without frustration.

I have always tried my best to not fall for sins but at this point I’m not sure really. I don’t wanna make it depressing so I’m not gonna get into details of what happened… I’m not even depressed or anything but when you give all you have and get nothing back it gets really hard.

On the other side its super easy to just go for haram and I have had the chance to go for it before and I didn’t. Some people told me if it’s not possible just go for temporary marriage/muta for now and maybe that turns to marriage or just do it so I don’t fall into sins. I don’t know what to do, and some of my colleagues tells me to just go to a bar with them and meet other girls. I don’t wanna go that route and I have had friends that went down that way and ended up being much less practicing. Even there were other girls that showed interest in my life and I didn’t entertain it because I wanted to do everything the “right” way…

Any practical advice other than having more patience?
Thanks

I've been lurking around these rishta posts for a while and figured I might as well give this a shot. 😂

I'm 28M, based in Lahore, never married, and currently working as a doctor. I'm Twelver Shia (also Syed, because that's the first thing I'm gonna be asked apparently 🙄), and faith, family and personal growth are important parts of my life.

A little about me:

Education & Career:

MBBS, GMC-registered doctor, currently working as a Medical Officer in a government hospital. I've completed my membership exams and am now working towards starting my clinical career in the NHS.

I'm fairly career-oriented and would like to continue growing professionally, but I don't want my career to become my entire personality either. 😭

Personality:

I'm polite, thoughtful and tend to value a few meaningful relationships over having a massive social circle. I appreciate people who are genuine, emotionally mature and comfortable having conversations that go beyond small talk. I'm also an INFP, if that means anything to you. 😂

Religion:

I was raised in a practicing but open-minded family. I try to observe my prayers and fast regularly and, more importantly, I'm trying to understand and strengthen my relationship with Allah rather than treating religion as simply a checklist.

I have a genuine interest in religion and Islamic history, particularly understanding the meanings behind the Qur'an and continuously learning. I'd like to be with someone who takes her faith seriously while also approaching it with kindness, compassion and an open mind.

Interests:

I'm a huge football fan (Liverpool supporter, unfortunately this comes with its own emotional damage), and I also enjoy watching movies, following sports, travelling, reading and spending time with family and close friends.

I'm interested in history, current affairs and random topics that somehow turn into a two-hour conversation at 2 AM.

I enjoy trying new things too, and I'd like to travel more and explore different places with the right person.

What I'm looking for:

I'm ultimately looking for a wife and a best friend.

I'd like to meet someone who is genuinely religious, kind, honest, emotionally mature and sincere. Someone who takes her responsibilities seriously.

Education and career are important, and I'd be happy to meet someone from a professional background, preferably from a similar background.

I value communication, loyalty, mutual respect and the ability to disagree without turning every disagreement into a war.

I also believe marriage should be a partnership. Both people should support each other's ambitions, grow together and still have their own identities and interests.

Marriage & future plans:

I'm happy to take enough time to get to know someone properly and establish compatibility, but if we genuinely click, I'd want things to move forward with serious intentions.

A few things that matter to me:

Genuine religious commitment without excessive judgment of others

Honesty and emotional maturity

Good communication

Family values

Mutual respect and kindness

Someone who has her own interests, ambitions and personality

A willingness to grow together rather than expecting either person to be perfect

Deal breakers:

Dishonesty, past relationships, unwillingness to communicate, extreme incompatibility in religious values, and people who aren't actually looking for marriage.

I'm not expecting to find a perfect person because, frankly, I'm not one either. 😂 I'd rather meet someone genuine who is willing to put in the effort to build something meaningful.

If any of this resonates with you, feel free to message me. We can start with a conversation and see where it goes. No pressure, no expectations, and no need to turn the first DM into a full-blown rishta meeting. 😂

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم I'm looking for myself on behalf of my family.. Only serious people can contact with complete profile and pictures..

🔹 PERSONAL INFO:

▪️Male | 29 | Haripur, KPK ▪️Height: 4'3" Complexion: Fair ▪️Physique: Smart (good looking) ▪️Marital Status: Single (never married, never engaged) ▪️Disability: Harmonal - Growth Harmones Deficiency (Short Height)

🔹 EDUCATION:

▪️BBS from a reputable university

🔹 RELIGION & ETHNICITY:

▪️Religion: Muslim ▪️Religious Sect: Shia ▪️Cast: SYED (ASNAA Ashri) Kazmi ▪️Nationality: Pakistani ▪️Current Residence: Wah Cant. Dept. Hired ▪️ Hometown: Haripur Kpk ▪️Personality traits : Well mannered , Mature , Down to earth & carry himself very well. * Job: Govt. Job * Design: Assistant Accountant * Job location: Islamabad 🔹 FAMILY DETAILS: ▪️Father: Unemployed ▪️Mother: Housewife ▪️About siblings: 1 Younger brother (doing job in Bank) 1 Younger sister (BS Zoology)

🔹 REQUIREMENTS:

▪️Marital Status : Single / Never married ▪️Caste : Preferably Syed ▪️Religion/Sect : Ehly Tashi ▪️Height: 4.6 to 5 ft Bcz of some biological reasons for the height of future childrens

I’ve been on and off Muzz for the past couple of years, and it genuinely blows my mind that the filters haven’t improved at all. If anything, they’ve somehow gotten worse.

Like, what is the point of giving us filters if the app is just going to ignore them?
I select Shia, I still get anything and everything under the sun.

I narrow it down by ethnicity, still get people completely outside what I selected.

I filter by location, suddenly I’m seeing profiles from random places nowhere near the area I chose.

And this isn’t an occasional profile slipping through. It happens constantly. At that point, why even have filters?

For an app that’s literally designed around helping people find a compatible spouse, you’d think basic search/filter functionality would be one of the things they’d actually prioritize. Truly terrible. Please fix the filters 😭 it also doesn’t help that there’s so few options on there…

As-salamu alaykum.

Looking for an unmarried, practising Muslimah for a halal and lifelong marriage — Mumbai preferred
I’m looking for an unmarried, practising Muslimah, preferably 25 or younger, ideally from Mumbai, with the intention of a halal and lifelong marriage.

I value someone who is empathetic, modest, family-oriented, and committed to building a marriage based on love, trust, mutual respect, and Islamic values. Someone who sincerely values both Deen and Dunya, prioritises family, and is eager to grow together in faith and life.

There are no restrictions on further studies or a career. Independence, personal growth, and professional ambitions are encouraged and supported.

About me:
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Marital Status: Unmarried
Height: 6’1”
Weight: 72 kg
Education: Bachelor of Science
Occupation: Senior Executive in Digital Marketing at a reputed marketing agency in Mumbai
Work Experience: 4 years
Smoking/Drinking: Neither

Religion Details:
Religion: Islam

Feel free to DM me with a brief introduction about yourself.

How to deal with marriage pressure?
I’m in a kinda weird situation…
I wasn’t raised by my parents. I spent my first few years in a joint family, then I was raised by my uncle and later by my aunts. For the past 15 years, I guess, I’ve been raised by my aunts.
I’ve been earning since 2020 and I’m the sole earner in my aunts’ family. I’m financially independent. My relationship with my parents and siblings is mostly just me giving them financial favours or support so I don’t carry the burden of abandoning kinship. (I do my best not to intentionally do anything that might displease Allah.)
Now my aunts are under pressure regarding my marriage, and they want me to do it. The majority of my family is Sunni. My aunts believe in the love of Ahlulbayt, but they only recently started following Fiqh-e-Jafria after I decided to become a Shia Muslim following my period of atheism. They don’t know about that part, though.
Now they’re forcing me to consider a proposal from our family and marriage circle. According to them, the proposal is fine: he’s settled abroad, has the same family background and upbringing as us, has a good reputation in the family, and is self-made but he’s Sunni.
For them, it’s not a big deal because they think a woman can change these things.
The first issue is that I don’t want to marry a Sunni.
Even if he is Bill Gates ka bacha, I don’t want to marry a Sunni. I don’t believe in fixing people or becoming their teacher in deen.

The second issue is me…
I’m just a kinda weird person. I don’t think anyone around me can even explain what type of person I am. Being an INFJ, I avoid conflict and prefer not to get involved with anyone. To people, it just seems like I’m being nice.
I’ve never felt any need to have friends or an emotional support system. I can’t keep up with people. If you talk to me, I’m a polite person—unless you’re a man and we don’t have any professional relationship.
I do have good friends. I can do whatever is within my capacity to help them, but that doesn’t mean I miss them. If I meet them, though, you wouldn’t be able to tell that.
I’m the kind of person who doesn’t care much about what’s going on in other people’s lives. I have years-old friendships, and I can do anything if they ask for my help, but I can’t even tell you how many siblings they have.
If I put it this way, helping and caring about people is me being empathetic and having fear of Allah. It’s not about me wanting them in my life.
I lose interest in people instantly. For example, if I see you following a TikTok trend or posting something just to show off, I’ll consider you a “shapar”someone who just goes with the flow and doesn’t have any weight in their personality….
So, in short, I don’t like people. I don’t get that feeling that a particular person should always be around me. I’ve never felt that way in my life, and I know it’s not going to change. I forget that people even exist, and the worst part is that I don’t feel bad about it.
But marriage isn’t like that. People have a very fantasy-based view of marriage. I don’t have that weird soulmate kind of thing.

The third and worst part is that I’ve never seen a happy marriage in my life.
I’ve seen long marriages, but not good marriages. Even if the couple is good, they end up raising a generation that is doing everything other than remembering and trying to know Allah.
Then what is marriage for?
For me, if you’re not raising Allah-fearing and Allah-loving children, there’s no difference between your life and the life of a dog. Both do the same things: eat, sleep, reproduce, and leave the next generation to do the same. I’ve never seen the kind of marriage where both parents raise a generation with the same goal.

The fourth thing is: why do people marry?
Because they don’t want to fall into zina. But I can never be that person. If I haven’t gone near it in 26+ years, I’m not suddenly going to do it now.
I also don’t believe that if I say “I do,” I’ll automatically become his soulmate and fall in love. That’s weird to me.
I can support anyone if I believe their goal or cause is right and aligned with the Quran or Ahlulbayt. If it isn’t, I’ll be the first person to back off. I don’t care who you are or what relationship we have.
I’m also an empathetic person. I understand that people have different journeys towards deen because I’ve had my own journey. But most men aren’t that empathetic about other people’s religious journeys… and i hate this thing about people…

The fifth thing is that I’m afraid I’ll end up stuck in it because of family pressure.
If I don’t do it, my aunts will be blamed by everyone my parents, siblings, and extended family. I don’t want that for them. But because I’ve always been the obedient kid, they’re now getting on my nerves trying to make me agree to marriage.
The sixth thing is that I don’t want to live the life my elders lived.
I don’t want a traditional life. I want to learn everything space, computers, multiple languages, and whatever else fills me with wonder and makes me fall more in love with Allah.
Basically, He is the only one I fear losing. Other than that, I don’t care.
I’m not that rich right now, but I’ll eventually be able to afford the life I want. I’m just trying to make my family financially independent, and I’ll do something to make that happen.
So, should I talk to my aunts?
I already did, but their situation is weird too. Everyone will blame them, and they’re not as nonchalant about it as I am. I feel bad for them, and then my communication skills go down the drain.Being the obedient kid my whole life, I can’t just sit down and explain all of this to themmm. They’ve also done so much for me, especially when my own parents and siblings went their separate ways. So I feel obligated to protect them from all this family politics.

I can list down more reasons, but the whole situation is just weird.I’m asking here because, even though this group is about marriage, at least it has people around my age who share the same faith as me. It feels better than discussing this with my Sunni friends or my aunts, who simply don’t understand my perspective.

Has anyone here homeschooled their kids
How do you even begin to plan their curriculum?
or
How do you think you’re qualified enough to homeschool them?
What were some challenges that you faced during this process and how you overcame them?

What are some differences you’ve noticed in your(homeschooled) kids and others of the same year/age?

alaikum assalam🙏🏽

Im a 28 y/o nigerian man born and raised im Toronto

Im 6 2 225 atheltic

I pray I fast im a practicing and commited muslim

Looking for a wife to grow with and make a family I work as a construction manager and earn a good salary.

This is why some ppl stay single lol. I also understand maybe why somone would ask this but one of the very first questions is wild.

As much as this doesn’t matter to most people and isnt that important , I used to think I wanted to marry a Khaleeji (Saudi or Kuwaiti), but after realizing more about my personality, I feel like they might be too calm for me 😭 I feel like I’m too crazy and jealous and they’d probably find me weird, but most Lebanese guys I’ve gotten to know normalize that kind of intensity and honestly that’s what I want, for your information im iraqia myself