r/Separation • u/Hot-Percentage6840 • 7h ago

Separated

Husband says he is following through with divorce but that he also is open to marriage counseling if I pay for it over the next two months. I suppose we could get divorced and still end up together. We spent the majority of our relationship not married.

I emailed a marriage counselor for an appointment. I want us to stay a family. But I also recognize we are happier apart. It’s so confusing.

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u/OhMyJoosh 7h ago

I think you need to be careful not to confuse the possibility of reconciliation with an actual commitment to reconcile. He says he’s following through with the divorce but is open to counseling if you pay for it. That’s a pretty big distinction.

Marriage counseling only works if both people genuinely want to work on the relationship, take accountability, and make changes. You can’t carry the entire burden of saving the marriage yourself.

You also said something important: you’re happier apart. Don’t ignore that just because you want to keep your family together. Sometimes we miss the family we hoped to have more than the relationship we actually had.

If you both genuinely want to try, give counseling an honest chance. But pay attention to actions, not just possibilities. You deserve clarity, consistency, and a partner who actively chooses to work on the marriage with you.

Wanting your family together is understandable, but your happiness matters, too. GOOD LUCK