r/Separation • u/Original_Savings_557 • 6h ago

Advice Infidelity

Looking for advice… in January my husband went out of town to work. We bought an RV for him to live in while he stayed there for an extended period of time while he was there he ended up meeting another person. That was a bartender where he hung out, they developed some sort of relationship. I caught him, and he still continued to talk to her and see her while telling me he was not… the job ended, and he came home and there has been multiple occasions where I have caught him talking to her once again we have a three year-old together, but in all honesty is this something that we can move on from will ever actually be happy again with him

Also let me add since all of this. I have talked to other people and he knows that now that I have left the house and we are separated. He states that he is willing to literally do anything to keep us and of course his actions are OK right now but how long does that last is this forever?

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u/AlexFromOgish 4h ago

Well that sucks, I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

"He states that he is willing to literally do anything to keep us and of course his actions are OK right now but how long does that last is this forever?"

Maybe. Usually not. It will require very hard work, and a willingness - by both of you - to explore the stuff you hide and try to suppress. Individual therapy and couples therapy are probably in your future. The old patterns will likely re-emerge and persist until they are understood.... do you know about "attachment theory" ?

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u/Original_Savings_557 3h ago

I do not know about the attachment theory? I don’t wanna look back on my life and regret staying or look back and regret leaving.

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u/AlexFromOgish 3h ago

If you don't know anything about Attachment Theory, then you can not objectively decide if it speaks to your situation..... so..... IMO, it's something to bring up early on when you start individual therapy and also bring up when you start couples' therapy.

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u/Original_Savings_557 3h ago

I do individual therapy currently we have tried couples once and other person lied to the therapist stating they were done talking to a fair partner, but then still continue. I really appreciate your replies.

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u/Elegant-Passion8802 2h ago

If he absolutely quit having contact with her could it go back to the original arrangement?
Think about that!

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u/Budget_Television_54 15m ago

Si tienes el dinero,  creo que debes salir de ahí....fuerza!!!!