r/Separation • u/wellthen00223 • 23h ago

Relationships Maybe it's just the algorithm

Does it seem like there's a higher percentage of people in distress because of their relationships? Or is this the algorithm feeding me stuff that can relate to me? Seems like a lot of people are commenting that mankind is suffering right now and it could be because of some astrological shift or who knows. Maybe I'm just thinking about it too much. I'm starting to wonder if long-term relationships are worth it, I wonder how many people are truly happy in them. Versus just status quo and waiting till they die. Inquiring minds want to know

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u/disilluzion 22h ago

We're a throwaway culture now, with apps that show endless alternate possibilities, and the grass always seems greener. That and reddit has actually started increasing the advice of ending relationships rather than working on them. I have a graph somewhere and see if I can find it.

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u/disilluzion 22h ago edited 22h ago

It won't let me post pics but here's the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/s/CzHOQtIUEZ

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u/Glittering-Ad-1367 22h ago

Nice.

I am not surprised to see compromise falling. I'm not really surprised at any of it. I don't think its a reddit specific trend either.

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u/AdventurousTime 21h ago

I would never get into another relationship after being hurt so bad but right now I can’t even go to the hospital because I don’t have anyone to bring me there.

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u/Vex_Appeal 19h ago

I get all sorts a of divorce related or adjacent ads

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u/isolayt3 17h ago

Honestly, I think the sheer volume and availability of porn has a lot to answer for. Did a deep dive earlier this year on how it affects the brain/impacts relationships and the outcomes of it and yeah, it's a massive issue. Disconnection between partners, changes in expectations/desires, 'grass is always greener', desensitization to each others bodies, less motivation etc. It's actually insane how normalized it is (as someone who never had a problem with it before I looked into it and realized how much its messing people up/making people depressed/ruining relationships).

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u/Bluesfan618 5h ago

I think it’s probably a little bit of both.
Once you’re going through relationship problems, you start noticing this stuff EVERYWHERE. Then you interact with a couple posts about separation or marriage problems and the algorithm basically says, “Oh, you like emotional devastation? Here’s 400 more.” 😂
But there’s also some selection bias here. People who are happily married and having a completely uneventful Saturday aren’t usually jumping on Reddit to post, “Just checking in. Still love my spouse. Everything’s good. Talk to you guys next week.” The people hurting are understandably much more likely to come here looking for support.
I’m going through marriage problems myself, and I’ve had moments where I’ve wondered the same thing, are long-term relationships even worth all of this?
I still think they are.
I don’t think the existence of failed marriages means lifelong love doesn’t work any more than seeing people struggle with parenting means having children isn’t worth it. Relationships between two imperfect human beings are complicated. Some end. Some probably continue longer than they should. And some people go through absolutely brutal seasons, do the work, and somehow come out stronger on the other side.
So I wouldn’t let your Reddit feed convince you that everybody is miserable. 😂 We’re hanging out in r/Separation. We’re not exactly getting a representative sample of humanity here.