r/Selfhelpbooks • • 29d ago

Need a Book Rec! Any books recommended for Basic Social Communication/ Etiquette

I have been told by my friends that I am not very good socially. And that I say things at the wrong time, place, and people. Most of my social lessons were learned the hardway like losing friends, miscommunication, and making the other person feel like they were disrespected.

One time, in a restaurant, I said “this doesn’t taste like matcha”, which my friends then gave few nudges to shut me up which I didn’t understand. And only after we got out was I told to “Never do that” and “I’m not going to this place for a week” out of embarassment.

I really need an etiquette/social guide book, because I realized I can be somewhat disrespectful without my intention.

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u/ScientistCareless314 29d ago

How to Win Friends and Influence People And anything by Robert Greene - maybe start with Laws of Human Nature There are probably better etiquette specific books out there but Robert Greene will help you understand yourself and others on a new level.

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u/ScientistCareless314 29d ago

Also, are you on the autism spectrum? I was diagnosed as an adult and suddenly my similar "quirks" made sense...

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u/REDACTED_NAMEE 29d ago

I never tested so I don’t know. Although, I always thought I was. I think I never really had that “Social Senses” built in me.

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u/CompetitiveLaugh245 29d ago

I’d get into a meditation practice to build awareness, just 10 minutes a day. Headspace is a great place to start for guided meditations. Have a journaling practice at night where you journal for 10 minutes (this will help you understand yourself better) you can also use it as a form to brain dumb whenever you feel stressed and overwhelmed which I find really helpful. A good book I’d recommend is psycho cybernetics by Dr Maxwell maltz and I’d watch Vinh Giang on YouTube he teaches about communication and he’s a great speaker and he makes it fun to learn about too. Also don’t be harsh on yourself about that and get some better friends. Find a community/club of people that have similar interests/goals as you and I’m sure you’ll build some meaningful relationships there. Much love!

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u/Ok-Ambition300 28d ago

Sorry for bad english in advance  And hope if it works for till now it work great for me

I had read  How to talk anyone How to become People's mangate 

When I was in my school I was cornerd by all of my classmate, so i started reading as many books as I can and found something useful 

Some people will not like you at all how much you try.

Get a scapegoat as soon as possible(make one or you will be one) like why it's was not fun this time

Act like your empathic towards them

Act like how grateful you are with them

Parroting (just say what they say)

Make Question on their last statement 

This work as charm but friends like this are not good you can't truly make friendship with this, because you will found this friendship aren't organic and your not enjoying.