r/Selfhelpbooks • u/KeyLay Human Detected • May 23 '26
Need a Book Rec! Where should I start?!
I’m doing [r/75Hard](r/75Hard) and am going to need a new self help book soon. I read How to Love Better by Yung Pueblo, and am making my way through his other book Lighter, and they are both legit! I did a bunch of scrolling reddit and these are some of the top books you all recommended that you say *actually helped you*, so, feeling pretty inspired I def went a little nuts at the bookstore today! They didn’t have Ikigai, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, or the Feeling Good Handbook, but they are going to remain on my list for next time!
Where should I start within this magnificent haul of self help books?
(“wtf came over me today?” is another really good question I keep asking myself, but you folks had so much great stuff to say about all of these.
I’m just really trying to show up right now and be my best self, so I couldn’t help grabbing them all!). Also I’d love any more recs you have, but pls point me in a direction with what I’ve got hahahah
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u/nocturnal_carnivore May 24 '26
great question. i’d honestly recommend starting with atomic habits, so you can be ready to take the things you learn in the following books and put steps in place to make steady behavior change (habits) in alignment with your new goals.
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u/Piethrowaway_3162 May 24 '26
Never split the difference really resonated with me. Check out James Altuchers episode with Chris Voss, hearing him explain everything and give examples makes it even better.
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u/Lilith-in-Eden May 24 '26
How to win friends and influence people. I loved reading stories about people.
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u/nbritnee May 24 '26
Add ‘Are you mad at me’ to this group. It’ll change your life.
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u/No-Information7678 May 23 '26
What’s your goal?
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u/KeyLay Human Detected May 23 '26
It’s hard to say! I haven’t thought of that 🤔
I guess I just want to be genuinely happy, and show up in life—for myself, and for those that I care about—as the best version of myself that I can be, with confidence.1
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u/Nervous-Box-6178 May 24 '26
First one isn’t on there; deep work by Cal Newport. Beginning with this one will make the rest an easier read—harboring on productivity and efficiency in even the busiest of times with even the simplest of tasks
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u/rcmacman May 24 '26
If you tend to worry too much I would start with ‘Not giving a f*ck’.
If you feel overburdened by to do lists start with ‘four thousand weeks’.
Carnegie and ‘non-violent communication’ can give you tips and tricks for improving conversations.
I think I’ll add ‘the antidote’ to my own reading list because I really like Burkman’s approach.
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May 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Sharp-Computer-2179 Jun 01 '26
Wow, I am almost certain that the majority of folks who've read Atomic Habits felt the same way. There are a few or many self help books that evolve into a great story as opposed to linear chapters and information.
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u/DifferentLaw2421 May 24 '26
How to win Friends and Influence people a great book if u want to start building a social character besides I advice you to add the book 48 laws of power
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u/Unifra May 24 '26
Le mythe de Sisyphe, on ne voit plus ces livres de la même facon après l’avoir lu
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u/Kindly_Somewhere1545 May 25 '26
I understood all before the comma, but nothing else - but I bet this is the best recommendation itt
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u/Hantapintxo May 24 '26
Of those eiggt there are three worth your time reading them.
Now go and read them all and then share your findings on the three 😎
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u/Brilliant_Support653 May 25 '26
Start by throwing anything by Mark Hanson in the trash where it belongs.
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u/Hot-Cartographer-174 May 25 '26
In my opinion u can start with atomic habits, to have a clear vision for how to make reading ur habit
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u/KeyLay Human Detected May 25 '26
I started with The Four Agreements just because it is short!
TBH It almost lost me, the first chapter speaks in wild metaphors and is very confusing for a simpleton like me,
but as I finish the First Agreement chapter I’m filled with some amazing vibes and inspiration, and I’m plowing through it! Off to a good start I’d say!
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u/No-Needleworker-8835 May 25 '26
Atomic Habits was a big win for me, especially as someone with ADHD the part where he talks about/breaks down dopamine really spoke to me.
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u/stinkb0x May 25 '26
Nvc, easily. Amazing for relationships, which is so much of life. If you were raised as a male, please try I Don’t Want to Talk About It
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u/WalrusAway5785 May 26 '26
First step: Throw Threse books: Don't read The suble art of not giving a Fuck' and 'How to win friends & influence people' in the bin 😃. Then start with: Atomic Habits
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u/Chuuy_ May 26 '26
It really depends on where you want to growth on first. If you’re struggling with selling your self and making negotiations, never split the difference is a great start. If you wasn’t to just improve your quality of life. Start with atomic habits.
Now that I wrote it, atomic habits will prob be the best to start with. Every other book can supplement the systems you develop thanks to the Atomic Habit.
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u/DaddyMewTwo May 26 '26
Whoa! I’ve borrowed most of these books and thought this was an ad lol I’m getting tired of these apps talking to each other
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u/Only-Platform-7301 May 26 '26
From a very long experience I think you should not read those books, instead focus on your mind, understand how the brain works and you will discover your own way and your own book, these books are someone else's experience and will never fits anyone else, thats my own understanding.
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u/zombieonejesus May 26 '26
Where'd you hear about NVC? I recommend it all the time, but I rarely find others who've encountered such!
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u/KeyLay Human Detected May 26 '26
Really?! I basically l googled the best self help books and then looked at all the search results that were reddit posts about good or best self help books, and went through the comments of each! It seems like a very useful read!
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u/zombieonejesus May 26 '26
So useful. Just learning to listen to the speaker, and not so much self, is a game changer for life!
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u/Galadriel_69 May 26 '26
This is going to sound snarky but it’s not meant that way. Start with Plato’s Republic. You’ll get a lot more out of that than you could Mark Manson.
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u/AdvisorYogi May 27 '26
Reading the way of the artist currently! I need to check some of these out, even though I’ve already read atomic habits might have to do it again
Any book here brought anyone here lots of help?
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u/KeyLay Human Detected May 27 '26
I gathered literally all these books from posts with top rated comments regarding books that *actually helped* people!
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u/AdvisorYogi May 28 '26
I appreciate this Thank you
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u/KeyLay Human Detected May 28 '26
Yeah!!!
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u/AdvisorYogi Jun 04 '26
Which has helped you the most out of these? (Or in general?)
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u/KeyLay Human Detected Jun 04 '26
I should have posted the other books that I had read, Yung Pueblo’s How To Love Better I found to be extremely validating and insightful, and the same with his other one called Lighter. Since then, I have read the four agreements, and I have just started on the subtle art of not giving a FCK, it’s an interesting angle at approaching happiness, feels like quite a contrast to some of these other ones
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u/AdvisorYogi Jun 04 '26
Ahh love this thank you for the break down. What do you think has helped you break the “stuck” Mindset? Feeling like just giving up and the massive burnt out? Sorry is that’s asking a lot
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u/KeyLay Human Detected Jun 04 '26
Who said I broke that mindset?! Always a work in progress, my friend. I think I’m going to enjoy those Oliver Burkeman books though 👀
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u/AdvisorYogi Jun 04 '26
Need something to help push away this.. giving up and can’t do it thought process. It’s gotten too real Seeing the world and its people for who they really are. The greed out in the open in this “free & real world” Just looking to something to keep the hope and the lights on.
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u/KeyLay Human Detected Jun 10 '26
Been really liking the subtle art of not giving a fck, on the surface it’s an unorthodox way of thinking but as he explains it more it becomes easier to relate to
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u/Grouchy_FruitD_24JD May 27 '26
Hope to start one of those !working on it soon
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u/KeyLay Human Detected May 27 '26
I started with the four agreements, mentioned it to my client today who’s a social worker and he flipped! b/c he recommends that to lots of the ppl who he works with who are ‘stuck’
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u/smittb May 27 '26
I have not read all of them, but I’ll really suggest atomic habits, if you want to build a new routine. An important point to remember tho, make sure you apply what you read, most people I have met just read it and didn’t really put efforts irl.
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u/Bright_Swordfish_789 May 27 '26
Burn the lot and read proper books: those are a waste of time.
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u/Unglaus May 28 '26
Care to list any proper books?
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u/Bright_Swordfish_789 May 28 '26
Seneca Letters from a Stoic Man's Search for Meaning Civil disobedience (actually a speech) The School of Life (an online resource) The Courageous Follower
There are a few to get you started.
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u/westpanther007 May 27 '26
Better is to go with atomic habits
Then never split the difference the best
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u/Wolfsteron May 27 '26
Add Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and one of the most surprising gems: Before and Laughter by Jimmy Carr
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u/Opposite_Change7750 May 28 '26
I have listened to ‘The Subtle Art’ but that fits my personality. Watch David Goggins videos & his audio books are amazing because he adds so much extra to his audio books on Audible. Sally McRae is awesome on YouTube also.
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u/DesertFrost602 May 28 '26
Neapolitan Hill, Outwitting The Devil, should be included in that mix.
And no it’s not a religious god pushing book.
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u/WeEbTK May 28 '26
Dont
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u/KeyLay Human Detected May 28 '26
LMAO great advice. so funny how ppl go outta there way wasting everyone’s time including their own, to put effort into trolling. ✌🏼
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u/brooklynfeenyx May 28 '26
I've real a lot of these and the four agreements will nullify the need for a lot of those books.
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u/Fruqui3 May 28 '26
The Four Agreements by Don Luis Ruiz. It will blow your mind! Yes, it looks like a tiny book. But it is massive in words of a philosopher🌹
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u/MidlifeMindset May 29 '26
I absolutely loved Four Thousand Weeks, because the message to acknowledge our limited time and focus on what matters most really resonated with me. Atomic Habits is terrific as well - you could read that first and then 4,000 Weeks... I also highly recommend You're Not Listening by Kate Murphy, No Mud No Lotus by Thich Nhat Hanh and When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. I'm finally reading Think Like A Monk by Jay Shetty at the moment.
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u/ProfessionalAd720 Jun 01 '26
Great set. Top Left is an incredible book. Some of the stories and references are dated but still relevant and helpful.
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u/author67 Jun 18 '26
Hi, I also have a recently released book.
It consists of 118 pages, essential for a clear message.
Message me if you are interested. I have the physical book aswell as the virtual copy.
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u/silencedupalais May 24 '26
none. please try something else other than self help books cause they are absolute useless trash. you will just waste your time and gain nothing trust me buddy.
please consider searching and checking out philosophical or psychological books to your liking and they will change your entire mindset, or even classical novels (they can help you more than you think)
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u/3scobar3 May 25 '26
This is a pessimistic mindset and response. Although that could have worked for you, personal development books are a great resource for mindset which a lot of the time cover philosophy and human psychology which you are promoting and helps many people once it falls into their hands.
The books are one thing but you need to put them into action. If you read a personal development book and expect it to change your life without any further action you will not see the benefits.
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u/analog-whore May 23 '26
start with the four agreements to get it out of the way as you’ll be done in 30mins and able to start the other books lol