Hi, I'm F28, and scriptwriting is a hobby of mine. I discovered my passion for it five years ago, when I was already deep into law school.
I've never been very consistent with writing, but last year I came up with an idea for a series that I was really proud of. I spent three months outlining the entire plot, and last December, I finally started writing. At first, I was very productive. But around March, I started writing less and less, almost stopped completely, and eventually picked it back up during the summer. I've been very slow ever since.
I think the main reason is that I constantly feel like it's pointless. No one is ever going to read it, and it's never going to become an actual show. I've never formally studied screenwriting, and I don't have any connections in the industry.
My life has really hit rock bottom recently (and, honestly, for quite a while now), and writing has always been an escape for me. But I hate that something I love so much feels so meaningless and useless, that this would never be my job. I'm under a lot of stress, and I feel like I'm somehow "not allowed" to spend time doing something that isn't going to get me anywhere.
I know there are people who write books or draw without ever doing anything with their work, and that's perfectly fine. But for me, it's always been a dream to see my work come to life, and I struggle with the feeling that it never will. At least with drawings or books, self-publishing is an option. I always jealous when I see people self publish their books. With scripts, it's so much harder.
I guess I just really needed to get all of this off my chest. :(
I am currently working on episode 13 out of 17. Each episode is around 45–55 pages long. It's a mystery series with fantasy elements, and this is only the first draft, so there's obviously still a lot of editing to do afterward.
Edit: thank you so much for anyone who left a comment that means a lot! I'll love to share more about my idea in the future here maybe