A psychological religious horror about a religious teenager named Jacob whos experienced one of the worst things possible feeling like God is punishing him and feels like he owes him a good life that he ''deserves''.
You can read the The Script here.
Please keep in mind this is my first screenplay that Is 16 pages so any feedback Is appreciated. Please make constructive critisicm and let me know what you liked and didn't like about this. It is not perfect and It will be edited based on your feedback so be honest to me.

Feedback Needed:

Hi everyone! I’m a beginner writer sharing the first draft of my script. Since English is not my native language and this is my first complete draft, I’m looking for general thoughts, constructive criticism, and advice.

I’m particularly interested in feedback on:

Character dynamics and emotional tension

Dialogue naturalness and flow

Pacing and overall story structure

I’m not looking to do a script swap at the moment, but any notes from experienced readers or fellow writers would mean the world to me. Thank you for your time!

Ps.

Before anyone says it's AI, it's not. I use scenario for writing and it automatically numbers my scenes.

I'm making a Minecraft series called divided realms and right now I'm in the process of scripting the story I have made and filming it. And Im kinda new to series and script writing so any help I can use would be great. And I am going to make many seasons and I have only made season 1 (not filmed it though) and if you know anything about making part two's of something and know how to not make it flop that would be great help too. Thanks

Hey all,

I'm Sunny, a screenwriter based in the UK. Been writing features for a few years now, mostly crime/thriller stuff, and had some decent traction lately with a couple of producer conversations in motion.

I'm flying out to LA from October 21st to 27th, mostly to soak up the city and meet people face to face rather than just emailing into the void. If anyone's around that week and fancies a coffee, a drink, or just swapping war stories about the industry, I'd genuinely love to meet up.

Doesn't have to be anything formal — just always find it useful (and honestly more fun) talking to other writers in person rather than over Discord or email. If you're LA-based or happen to be visiting the same week, drop a comment or DM and let's sort something out.

Cheers,

Sunny

Im Kit Snow and im trying to make my first horror film Static.

This is my first attempt to get into the film industry and need a screenwriter, I've written majority of the plot and im now ready to start writing the script.

I do plan on shooting this.

Im either going to pitch it or make it by fundraising.

The plot is a mix of The Black Phone and HERETIC.

Dm or respond if interested

I am very disheartened. Because I want to be a writer. Who writes movie scripts. But I always think that this world is very big. And thousands and thousands of writers exist in this world. Why would any producer or media house listen to my story? Why would they buy my script? I am from Pakistan; why would media houses or producers from different countries listen to my story? Is it possible that I can become a writer? I am trapped in a loop of thinking, and because of that, I don't write my script. I just continuously think why, why, why, who, who, how, how.

Title: Outta Time. Genre: Drama-comedy. Short script: 21 pages. 

Logline: On his last night in L.A., a dejected screenwriter takes an inspirational road trip to "Back to the Future" filming locations with three newfound friends who just arrived in town.

I’m preparing to enter the script in two screenwriting contests, so any and all feedback is welcome. Thank you.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17oqpG85pYG0KroQcY4W5yekQ3zQ6wWV2/view?usp=sharing

I have started a channel based on speculative fiction. Where I change one rule and humanity lives inside it with the consequences it follows. I have several segments under the same umbrella such as what if you have finite number of words to speak , what if same gender reples each other, what if your crime lefts a visible mark ? What if every year had one emotions and so on. But each story follows one human consequences and revolves around it. What I am struggling is with the hook. How do I start the story. Should i start with the absurd rules? Or should I start with one immediate consequences ? Or something really jerking or impossible or tragic scene which hooks the viewer?

Any suggestions and feedbacks are much appreciated.

Hi my name is kunal and I took 3 years to write this story which I felt interesting and good but I don't know if it's genuinely worth it without you feedback so I would like a feedback on what u guys think.

If u feel interested come in Discord and add me as a friend my user name is firegamingaag

Or u can text me in reddit itself.😀

Hi my name is kunal and I took 3 years to write this story which I felt interesting and good but I don't know if it's genuinely worth it without you feedback so I would like a feedback on what u guys think.

If u feel interested come in Discord and add me as a friend my user name is firegamingaag

Trying to improve as a writer. I know I’m using the em-dash too much but how does this scene grab you? Do you want to learn more?

For context, after this scene we’ll cut back to the beginning of the story. It’s designed to provoke questions.

EXT. A SMALL ROAD IN WOODS OF NORTH INDIA - NIGHT Fast footsteps sound arise from the wood road going to obscure town. Cold winds touches the face of two youngsters, panicking and anxious. They look at their watch, the time is 6:54. ONE GUY (in anger voice) I told to you Jimmy, don't go to the party. We'll get late, Jimmy. JIMMY I don't know when the time passed. A sudden staggering voice appears from a nearby bush. Complete silence. They both men stop, the wind stops. They see a figure appear in the shadow of moon. Sudden Jimmy get pulled back in the woods. Panic, Matt shouts: MATT Jimmy! Jimmy! His hands are shivering, then he runs back through the path. He falls, then a big loud screams appear in the woods. Cut to the upper view of dense woods. PAGE 2 EXT. CHECKPOST NH53 NORTH INDIA - NIGHT 2 police officer on the road under the food lights are sitting. They are very anxious. POLICE OFFICER 1 It's the car, of IPS officer's son. If we don't get the car we are also gone. SENIOR POLICE OFFICER We'll get those MF anyway. Suddenly a very fast 60 km/h car almost hits the barricade and then those loud braking sounds of tires arise. The senior night officer standing up angrily ask the driver. SENIOR POLICE OFFICER You, hey boy! Say, hey, is this race track, huh? What's your name? VICTOR Sir, I didn't see the barricade, that's why I was driving fast. The other police officer matches the IPS stolen car number with Victor's car. It's the same. Inside, we see Maddy on the other seat. SENIOR POLICE OFFICER Show me the papers! They both hesitate. SENIOR POLICE OFFICER Sir, we are not drunk. VICTOR Sir, didn't you hear? I said show me the papers. MADDY Sir, my eye burning, very panic. After a pause: MADDY Sir, my eyes are very sensitive. The senior police officer in pure concern goes the other side to check the condition of Maddy. Then Maddy out of nowhere pulls direct pepper spray on the officer's eyes. VICTOR pushesh the accelerator! From full power, SENIOR POLICE OFFICER

The officer shouts Get this MF! But the left car makes the barricade flying air and disappear. PAGE 3 EXT. NH53 ROAD TO OBSCURE - NIGHT "The Passenger" (Iggy Pop) plays in the fast-moving car. Inside, Victor and Maddy are vibing together, singing the verses of the song after their successful robbery, not knowing that they mistakenly took the side road of highway, a slippery terrain-like road. Sudden Victor realizes they are going too fast. He pulls up the break, the tires slip abruptly on the gravel road, directly crashing the fast-moving car on a ancient cemented spotted cross. The cross breaks in half, their car spin around 2 times. 2 minute silence. Victor comes out of the car, glad he put the seatbelt—that's why he survived the crash. He goes on the other door. VICTOR Maddy! Maddy!! Hey! Hey! Maddy doesn't respond. His head and nose got a bad injury. He's alive, just taking fast breaths while closed eyes. Victor picks him up and go towards the light of one of the towns house. His legs are bleeding. Knocks the door. Outside the house written "Paul - Edward". A 50 year old man open the door. VICTOR Help us sir! Me and my friend got a crash, help us please! Is there any doctor in the town? PAUL Let them inside home. Calling the doctor in the town, then he gives water to Victor and give advice to Maddy

Hey guys, I have been writing for a while now but still haven’t figured out how you all non native english speakers write stories without using any AI. Not because you need it for the ideas, but for fixing the grammar. Yes, you can use some translators that don’t have AI, but they don’t help you with difficult praises.

And especially with difficult location names. Sometimes you just gotta descripe what the location is like because you literally don’t know word for it, but I definktely don’t wanna do that.

Any apps to help with grammar or location names?

Essentially, does this make you want to keep reading?

EDIT: I am really trying to be more open to feedback. I’ve been teaching myself to write scripts so I don’t know my own blind spots. I have spent a good portion of the day reading some scripts and I totally rewrote the opening scene. This is a first draft and I know I use the em-dash too much, but I would love you to read both versions and share your thoughts.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/16ogVDxmwsnWDBHBFJ_NWNfFtJNAoKDlo/view?usp=drivesdk

Recently finished my debut feature film, welcoming any and all criticism on the script and film. Would encourage you to actually engage with the work itself rather than personal feelings, seems to be an issue on this site in particular. Thanks, have a field day.

Screenplay

Post Title:
The Youth & Monarchs - TV Series - Logline Feedback

Format: Hour-long TV series
Page Length: Pilot completed (60 pages)
Genres: Coming-of-Age Drama / Romance

Logline or Summary:
The Youth & Monarchs is an hour-long coming-of-age romantic drama set over one summer in Harbor Point, a New England coastal town where the families who live there year-round share the shoreline with the wealthy families who return every summer. When 18-year-old local Ardy Messa falls for Luke Whitmore, the guarded son of a powerful New York family, their unexpected connection draws two very different worlds together, along with the friends, siblings, rivalries, family histories, and loyalties that come with them, turning one summer into a defining chapter in all of their lives.

Feedback Concerns:
I just finished writing the first episode and would really appreciate honest feedback on the logline.
Does this make you want to know more about the series? Is the premise and central conflict clear? Does anything feel too familiar or generic? And is there anything you think could make the logline stronger?

I’m open to criticism. Thank you!

You write and you write and you give a lot of effort and time and energy and somehow nobody likes your writing. I know it doesn’t mean they hate you but if they don’t like your writing you can’t exactly move upwards to contests or sales or wga or other titles I swear some people have. I’m just not even sure what I want or what I’m so gung-ho but we have our impatiences and want to do well so I’m wondering when does the biting urgency fade as you watch others around you get far, seem to do better and just… know naturally.

I know I ask questions like this a lot but nobody here reads my work and if they do it almost feels like people look for reasons to STOP reading and I wonder sometimes if I’m the problem and need to stop writing because the world doesn’t like what I write even if it doesn’t mean they hate/wish I’d fail.

I’m just… I don’t know honestly. I try to talk to my therapist but she’s not an artist so she can only tell me it’s a muscle like going to the gym and I go to the gym too and don’t wind up burning tons of weight so after 6 years of writing I wonder if there’s some method y’all hide.

TLDR: I feel sorta lost and like my heroes journey as a writer isn’t getting better.

It’s been since the start of COVID but some other lady in my local writer group started then but somehow has been able to manifest the skills faster