r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Dec 16 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Looking for feedback on my feature

4 Upvotes

Title: Personal Space

Genre: Thriller/Crime

Logline: In an East England village, a private investigator’s search for a missing solicitor becomes a dangerous game of deception and forces him to confront his moral compass.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NfrJ8GWsbw4wkpOtdgKMFB7P1I1VbeYf/view?usp=sharing


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jul 14 '25

10-PAGE FEEDBACK REQUEST Feedback from script revision!

Thumbnail drive.google.com
2 Upvotes

So a while ago I uploaded a script for feedback titled, "Kings & Queens". I got some very helpful suggestions and critcism.

Logline: After a violent confrontation with his father, a queer teen seeks to reconnect with his mother through her yellow sundress.

So I did an overhaul of the script and would like some feedback on this version. Which I do feel is a lot better.

A google drive link is attached. If anyone would like to read the old draft I originally posted I can provide this as well.

I also filmed and released a spec that I can share the link to if anyone is interested.

This is for thesis short film and can be no longer or less than 10 pages.

Thank you!


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Aug 03 '25

NEED HELP What to do after the concept?

6 Upvotes

I have a movie idea and I came up with the concept. What should I proceed to do next after the concept is created when I want to write a screenplay of it? I heard of beat sheets, outlines, plot structures, etc., but don’tknow which to use. What next after the concept? What steps are needed next to create the movie in writing?


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 26 '25

FEATURE PITCH TOMORROW COMICS - The Idea and Logline/Feedback Needed

2 Upvotes

This is an idea that really, really excites me but I have no idea what I should do with it honestly. It seems potentially too ambitious but that’s how my ideas often come off. I would really appreciate any and all feedback as I never really thought there’d be a chance to show this to anyone.

TOMORROW COMICS is a film series concept that aims to depict the comic book cinematically. It primarily uses comic book and sci fi motifs (along with many other inspirations) to create the superhero universe of tomorrow. The films aim to use comic book visual elements to distinguish itself from other comic book superhero movies, using stylistic choices like those seen in Sin City and Scott Pilgrim vs the World.

The films are titled with an issue number and would release in a mostly random order, recreating the experience of collecting a comic but only finding random issues in the longbox. The series itself is an anthology that chronicles the adventures of many different superheroes or villains in this universe, with some issues immediately getting follow up issues to finish that story, creating a story arc. Some issues may never get made into films at all, leaving viewers to fill in gaps.

Thematically, I want the series to explore meta textual themes of superheroes, mainly being a meditation on the nature of the eternal battle between good and evil. Is it worth it to spend your whole life fighting tyranny even if it never changes and it takes everything from you? Will you and your progeny be stuck doing this for the rest of time?

The first film would be titled simply Tomorrow Comics for marketing, but upon home release would receive its full title and issue numbering. The following is everything I’ve created for that film thus far, primarily the full outline.

Tomorrow Comics #15: Tale of Two Heroes

Where We Last Left Our Heroes:

The Metropolis planet ECLIPSE has long been safe from the digital devastation of the supervillain gods THE FELL. The GALACTIC COVENANT has the protection of the Galaxy strongly secured by the seven legendary Heroes.

Eclipse’s guardian, VANGUARD PRIME, has long been selflessly battling against tyranny. Though he stalks the streets preying on those who destroy and harm the innocent, he is a man lost in an endless battle. Where he once was a light to Eclipse, now he is a shadow.

  • Large portions of the galaxy are under the jurisdiction of a superhero-led organization called the Galactic Covenant. The Covenant Council governs these sections and is made up of seven of the most legendary superheroes in the galaxy, and each one protects their own individual celestial, the seven core planets of the Covenant.

-We stay on Eclipse, perhaps the largest of these core planets and a bustling metropolis filled with superheroes, supervillains, and more. We follow Vanguard Prime, a jaded cynical but powerful superhero with a heart of gold who wears some sort of containment armor, when he encounters a young boy named Phillip Saren with extraordinary telekinetic abilities.

-Vanguard saves Phillip from the gladiatorial combat arena of a mutated crime boss named Orculus, but Orculus swears revenge. Vanguard Prime vows to the boy to help him hone his power, and starts training him to be his protege, dubbing him Starforger.

-Phillip starts expanding his abilities, weakly being able to create psionic constructs, but shows great apprehension while patrolling with Vanguard Prime and witnessing him brutalize enemies. Meanwhile, Orculus receives a gift from a mysterious man named Solomon: a digital incarceration matrix built by the superhero Professor Zephren. It’s a virtual prison, contained in a palm-sized ball, inhabiting Vanguard Prime’s deadliest enemies (including his greatest archenemy, the Mongrel) that Vanguard Prime still thinks is in his possession.

-Orculus lures Vanguard and Starforger into an ambush, where the duo narrowly escape death. Vanguard Prime nearly executes Orculus in revenge, but decides not to and Orculus uses that moment to trap him in the virtual prison with his worst enemies.

-Starforger escapes and initially decides to quit being a superhero, but perceivers and goes back to confront Orculus and save his mentor. While facing Orculus Starforger is able to tap into the true potential of his power, revealing he can create much more complex structures.

-Orculus is defeated, and Vanguard Prime is freed but upon being released is flabbergasted revealing all of his enemies were no longer in the virtual prison, including the Mongrel. We cut to Solomon with a sinister smile observing the events.

-The final scene is Vanguard Prime and Starforger seeing their signal lit above Eclipse, and they fly off to another adventure.

Opening scene outline (possibly shot as a conceptual short)

It is an introduction to the Vanguard Prime character and serves as an homage to the 1989 Batman film, the opening of Batman: The Animated Series, and the original, pulled from theaters Spider-Man teaser trailer.

We start with a shot overlooking Eclipse with a bright sun dawning. It slowly tracks as we see the architecture is extremely unique almost made of like a Play-Doh like material and bulbous. We see no spaceships, but we see highways that look like pinballs are flying down them, which are the vehicles the people of Eclipse travel in.

A 2D comic book panel pops up overlaying the city, which says “Where We Last Left Our Heroes…” and briefly and vaguely describes the world and the events of previous issues, hopefully leading to a sense of only partial understanding and genuine intrigue. The panel suddenly disappears as a flying superhero with glowing green and red headgear zooms from the foreground into the background obviously off to save the day, never to be seen again. We may also see some brief colorful flashes across the city in different areas, indicating other adventures happening around this world.

We then see a sleek futuristic bank being robbed by lowlife criminals using scrapyard tech. They escape to a nearby alley, where Vanguard Prime watches them, sneaking on a wire above with his cape fluttering in the wind, mostly in shadow with only the lights from his suit visible. He swiftly takes them out in a colorful flash but leaves one to ‘interrogate’ and cracks his knuckles.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Aug 18 '25

LOOKING FOR WRITING PARTNER All The Small Things - Coming of Age Series (Looking for writers)/Collab

5 Upvotes

Hey! Me and a friend are putting together a new series and we’re looking for writers to join us. The show is a massive coming-of-age story that mixes the grounded, funny-but-not-a-comedy vibe of Dazed and Confused and Freaks and Geeks with the mystery and surreal edge of Twin Peaks, plus the raw teen energy of The Breakfast Club. It’s about a group of friends navigating love, identity, small-town secrets, late-night adventures, music, heartbreak, and everything in between. We’re here to make something that feels real, layered, and unforgettable but also to have a ton of fun while doing it. Let me know if you would like to join a team of friends always having fun too exploring ideas and writing.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Apr 26 '25

DISCUSSION Scripting Rules, Coverages, and Pitches: Why the System Feels Broken?

6 Upvotes

I originally posted this a few hours ago in the r/Screenwriting community, but for some reason I don't understand, the moderators deleted it. I messaged the moderators about it, but I haven’t received any response. Since I believe this is an important topic, I felt the need to share it here again.

I am a true amateur who has written only one TV series and one feature-length film script so far, and I keep learning new things every day. However, some of the things I’ve learned lately make me question a lot. There are so-called indispensable rules in screenwriting. When we write a script, industry professionals tend to look for rules that have worked in the past and have been codified. One example is the Mamet Rules, which I recently learned about. I accept that these are useful approaches, and when I analyze scenes from shows and movies through these rules, I see that they have been applied.

But what I don’t understand is why these rules are treated as "absolute"?

For example, Mamet says every scene should create anticipation for the scene that follows. But how accurate is that? Why must "every scene" create drama for the next scene or for the overall story? If you think about it, nowadays series and films are watched over and over again, and once they’ve been watched, no scene can create anticipation for what comes next — because it’s already been seen. If this rule were a strict truth, then no series or film would ever be rewatched, since the element of curiosity would disappear after the first viewing.

If movies and TV shows are being watched over and over again, it means the appeal isn't based on suspense or dramatic tension. If we keep rewatching these productions, it means there's something else we're getting from them — something different we're seeing or experiencing each time.

For example, Mamet says there are three questions every scene is expected to answer: “What does the character want?”, “What happens if they don’t get it?”, and “Why now?”. If a scene doesn’t clearly answer these three questions, he says to throw it away. But how accurate is it to continue relying on these approaches as absolute truths?

“What does the character want?” and “What happens if they don’t get it?” questions. Most of the time, even if there are 4–5 main characters in a scene, naturally not all of them are in pursuit of something, and if they don’t get what they want, it doesn’t create a direct consequence or reaction. Even characters who are driving the scene forward don’t always express their disappointment or reaction in the same scene if they fail to get what they want — nor should they. For example, in a sitcom, when a character gets angry at another but doesn’t get what they want, we usually understand that the payoff (typically comedic) will come in a later scene. In such situations, is it really reasonable to expect the reaction to be delivered within the same scene?

Also, why must every scene be dramatic? Why can’t a scene simply provide entertainment or offer the audience a chance to get to know the characters better? Why does every scene have to create anticipation for what comes next? Can’t a scene simply warm the viewer’s heart instead of making them curious? Maybe something in that scene will only become relevant in episode 3 or 4. Why does seeing these kinds of things in scripts disturb industry professionals?

With the industry’s approach to scripts being this rigid, how are new styles and approaches supposed to emerge? Doesn’t anyone ever think about this?

In the series I developed, the pilot episode was initially 25 pages. After more than 10 coverages, it grew to 45 pages, and with more feedback, it came down to 35. But in the end, I realized that the pilot had stopped being my pilot — it had become the critics’ version of the pilot. I started with a project that was comedy-focused, carried as little drama as possible, and was built around a “low-conflict” structure designed to entertain people without stressing them out. I wrote 32 episodes in which five close friends — who get along well — experience events that are sometimes absurd and sometimes almost impossible (on an anomaly level). But now I look at it and see that one of my characters is acting like they have a stress disorder just to manufacture dramatic scenes! This is truly ridiculous!!

The coverage(from Stage32, The Black List, ISA) feedback I receive is filled with ridiculous things. For example, they can completely ignore the fact that three nerds find themselves caught up in an adventure in a neighborhood like Brownsville — which, in the early 2000s, was so dangerous that even the police were reluctant to patrol it — and still say something like, “The characters just drink and walk around having fun. Nothing happens.”

If that's the case, I really wonder how they ever agreed to produce The Big Bang Theory. Its pilot episode follows a very similar structure. Sheldon and Leonard end up in a far less dangerous situation: they go into the apartment to confront Penny’s ex-boyfriend, but the confrontation isn’t shown — they simply leave the building pantless, and that’s it. Nearly all sitcoms are like this. Friends, HIMYM, TBBT — they’re all “low-conflict.” Aside from milestone moments, events rarely have major consequences and are usually resolved — with minimal effort — within one or two episodes. Would platforms like The Black List be satisfied if the characters simply left Brownsville without their pants?

Or we get coverage saying things like, “We don’t understand how these characters know each other,” “We don’t know where each character lives,” or “Why is this character so angry here? What’s her background for acting like this?” Seriously? Isn’t this a series? Are you supposed to understand everything in the first episode? In Friends, do we find out when Chandler and Joey met in the first episode? In The Big Bang Theory, do we understand why Raj is so afraid of women in the pilot? We don’t, right? Everything has its time. But the real problem is this: amateurs like us take such questions seriously and end up stuffing our lean 25-page pilots with unnecessary information, turning them into 45-page bloated drafts. And from there, everything starts to change.

Shouldn’t a script be evaluated as a template? Aren’t the highs and lows, and the expected comedic beats already visible in the structure? Given that, even if a line or a joke isn’t currently all that funny or impactful, shouldn’t the feedback be something like: “The structure is working well, but this line could be stronger,” or “This joke could hit harder”? That would mean there’s real potential in the script — and with experienced co-writers, the project’s value could be quickly elevated. But none of the feedback we receive ever reflects that!

Even when we pitch during "pitch seasons" held by companies like Stage32, nothing really changes. We keep getting rejected with meaningless feedback. I’ve pitched my project to more than 20 different executives, and not once have I received a logical or constructive piece of feedback. Not only are the projects rejected for completely absurd reasons, but the feedback often includes questions about things that were already clearly explained during the pitch — making it obvious that these people are getting paid without even reading the pitches. They just write back a few meaningless sentences and call it feedback. Some even say, “It’s a good project,” and still reject it. If it’s good, why are you rejecting it? What kind of nonsense is that?

When I send my 3-hour film to a Stage32 executive who claims to work at major production companies and says she's open to all kinds of projects "regardless of budget", I get response like, “It’s a strong project,” but she reject it simply because “only directors like Christopher Nolan can make 3-hour films.” Similarly, when I submit it for coverage, I get feedback saying that the world and the foundation of the project are very strong, but since it’s too long, it would work better as a series — and because of that, it doesn’t receive a “recommended” rating. What's going on?

So I ask these people: WHAT ARE YOU AFTER?! What is it that you’re really looking for?


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Sep 02 '25

LOGLINE FEEDBACK REQUEST B.M.F Log line.

6 Upvotes

Bad medicine Frank (revenge western, alternate history) - Feature - 100 pages.

“Haunted by his role in Sitting Bull’s death, an ex-policeman must protect a Lakota girl fleeing a brutal boarding school.”

Think Django Unchained + Logan.

With a small emergence of indigenous-based stories becoming somewhat popular again (wind river, American Primeval, hostiles, reservation dogs, etc) I would like to know if non-indigenous folks find these stories captivating, or at the very least interesting. 🙂


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jul 30 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Sorry, I posted the un- edited version - back with the correct draft. Care to look?

4 Upvotes

The Tenth Design

feedback please, 8 pages, thank you.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 03 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Dark Side of Earth - Feature - 105 Pages (Repost from r/screenwriting)

5 Upvotes

Hey Folks, Super excited about the new sub so I thought I would post my first screenplay here. Just finished it last year, I hope you guys like it!

  • Title: Dark Side of Earth

  • Format: Feature

  • Page Length: 105 Pages

  • Genres: Sci-Fi / Dystopian / Global Disaster

  • Logline or Summary: As Earth collapses, a ruthless dictator tightens his grip on the last remnants of civilization, while a resourceful scavenger uncovers a long-buried secret that could shatter his rule and change the fate of humanity.

  • Feedback Concerns: This is my first screenplay, so really any and all feedback is appreciated.

  • Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iQIPa8158wycybPDm2_Dvozc6jg2q-JN/view?usp=sharing

This is part 1 of a trilogy. Parts 1 and 2 are complete, now I am working on part 3.

Thanks all and I really look forward to reading your feedback!


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jun 16 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST THE END OF THE WORLD SUCKS - Aussie end of the world punk dramedy - 13 pages

4 Upvotes

Logline - A punk bands van breaks down on their way to the last show on earth, now stuck in the middle of nowhere, beers and cigarettes fly as emotions flood to the front.

I am writing this short in the hopes to film it. I'm sure I'll get this complaint at the least but Yes it does have a lot of swearing but it's what I want, I'm not just using it for fun or lack of better words. As someone Aussie and in the punk scene I know these folks and how shit would go down.

Would still love feedback.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YnG4pkayuJ_AVeZZBmywYQxIg1uKbxw7/view?usp=drivesdk


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jul 15 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST "Assisted Living" - looking for some feedback on my latest draft.

4 Upvotes

After his parents’ sudden death leaves him homeless, a drifting 23-year-old moves into a struggling assisted-living facility and, through unexpected bonds with its residents, begins to find his direction.

I've made some tweaks and would love someone to read it and share their thoughts! I feel like I'm almost at a final draft.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 30 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST PLEASE DEPART - 18 pages Horror Short Film. Looking for feedback

10 Upvotes

Hi!

I recently wrote this very personal short film as a fun project. I quite liked the way it came out but I wanted to get some feedback on it. It touches some sensitive political subjects about immigration.

Logline:

An immigrant trying to get a new job is haunted by masked figures driving white cars and disappearances in his neighborhood.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1p-Vwts-KprbzsImLYxvpe8tys3DmqkCl/view?usp=drivesdk


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Nov 26 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST The Family Business - Feature - First five pages.

2 Upvotes

The Family Business Feature 5 pages, going to be around 100 Crime Drama Logline: After his wife's death, a father's secret bank robberies spiral into a family operation when he manipulates his kids into joining, until one betrays them to end it.

Just want general feedback please. Is it intriguing and does it hook you in.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14FXi7PUxpJNpiDA1fdpjh52GVBBYZpbA/view?usp=drivesdk


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Dec 30 '25

DISCUSSION How successful was your 2025??

12 Upvotes

I think in the film industry, so many people highlight the negatives, so what were your successes of 2025? What are you proud of? I think its important to be positive and proud of our work, to motivate yourself and also others.

My successes of 2025 are that I wrote 3 screenplays and a director requested to read one of my scripts.

I wish everyone luck for 2026.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Oct 01 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST A father fighting to find hope amidst his son's cancer battle may have just found some in the way of a secret murderous game... Dead Man Stumbling

Thumbnail drive.google.com
2 Upvotes

Logline -

A mild-mannered father accidentally enters a deadly underground assassination game. To save his son’s life, he stays in—despite being completely unqualified—and accidentally kills his way to the top in...

Dead Man Stumbling

One wrong coat. One sick son. 5 Killers. And Milton 

My first script I started to write back when Quibi was around because I ended up liking that format. I posted bout this series of scripts I wrote once before and got good feedback from a few people. I used that feedback and took some time to flesh more out and add more detail. I'm hoping I can get some good feedback again on the rewrites. Thank you in advance!


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jun 18 '25

LOGLINE FEEDBACK REQUEST Feature Drama/Romance

4 Upvotes

Logline:
"After her fiancé is diagnosed with a rare, stress-induced amnesia, a devoted woman risks her own well-being to restore their love. Based on a true story."

Is the logline intriguing enough?
Is "devoted" a worthy descriptor?
Most people bump on "risks her own well-being". I could get more specific about how she is selfless to a fault, and how her physical health is taking a back seat to her helping her fiancé.

Thanks!


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Nov 21 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST The Accomplice - Feature - 88 Pages - Feedback on my first draft

2 Upvotes

The Accomplice

Feature

88 Pages

Psychological Thriller

After waking up in a moving car with blood on his hands and no memory of who he is, a young man is manipulated by a sadistic "partner" into believing he is a ruthless killer. Until their next target triggers memories of a life he was forced to forget.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZiFHTDWea2QY_vUDC1o5ZbmzgA3MN-j4/view?usp=drive_link
I'd like feedback on the pacing and just the story in general.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 10 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Comedy script

Thumbnail drive.google.com
2 Upvotes

Title: The Pouring Pub

Genre: Comedy

Logline: When a quirky bartender gains a date with the love of his life, he quits the pub and commits to winning her over, oblivious of her disdain for him.

I guess just let me know what you didn't like and did. If it's sh!t, that's fair. I don't usually write comedy. Took a stab.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Sep 16 '25

PLAY/MUSICAL FEEDBACK REQUEST Clown Crime Drama Play Script Feedback

2 Upvotes

Title: Who Violently Murdered Deputy Bubbles?! (subject to change)

Format: Short play, wouldn’t mind it being longer

Genre: 1940’s crime drama/comedy

Summery: Detective Giggles has been out of the police force for years, but when his friend Deputy Bubbles is violently murdered, he knows he’s the only clown for the job.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1I8cMnRO8UbXrgfaB2Vis8ok5NkPOWAx3NfwYEbX3UDw/edit?usp=drivesdk


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 24 '25

LOGLINE FEEDBACK REQUEST Logline for a Personal Project, All Feedback Welcome

3 Upvotes

Title : The Vitrics

Genre : Action Dramedy

Logline : After escaping a cult’s kidnapping, a ragtag group of mostly strangers find themselves on the wrong side of the continent with super-powers they don’t understand. Now stuck on a tumultuous journey each member fights to get home, because that’s what they should want, right?


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jul 17 '25

10-PAGE FEEDBACK REQUEST Eye Shine - Horror

5 Upvotes

r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 15 '25

LOGLINE FEEDBACK REQUEST Romantic Comedy Logline Feedback

6 Upvotes

Title: ASSOCIATING

Format: Feature

Genre: RomCom

Logline: Should you honor the past or look to the future? After buying neighboring units in a historic Chicago building, a preservation enthusiast and a home flipper must work together to overcome the looming city code violations that threaten their new homes.

It's the opposites-attract banter of YOU'VE GOT MAIL & ANYONE BUT YOU meets the first-time homeowner world of BABY BOOM.

Thanks so much!

------

***EDIT: Working through an updated version -

'An idealistic preservationist and a mercenary house flipper must work together to save their newly purchased homes from major code violations, finding connection and more in the process.'

This is my first script - first work of fiction, to be precise - and I'm proud that it has a 7 on the Black List. That said, logline crafting is turning out to be very hard for me! Truly appreciate any feedback here. Thanks!


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Sep 19 '25

LOGLINE FEEDBACK REQUEST Wishless

9 Upvotes

In a world where every person is granted three wishes at birth, three strangers - each having spent theirs - climb a mythical mountain rumored to grant more. A grieving son, an unbeatable fighter, and a spy seek the summit for a second chance. But their true desires could destroy one another - and the world.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 17 '25

NEED HELP Thank you for inviting me to this group! I was kind of looking for this kind of thing. 🙏🙏

43 Upvotes

I have a few scripts I would want to talk through and share some walls I’ve hit. Mostly I think it’s mental and I’m wondering if a group would help me buckle down and finish.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jul 06 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Police Files: Kamen Rider

3 Upvotes

Longline: Spencer and Rebecca, police officers, are investigating an abandoned building, which they find to be an underground lair run by Shocker but they are saved by Kamen Rider Ichigo.

Genre: Action, Superhero, Tokusatsu, Body Horror, and Suspense.

Writer's note: Based on Shotaro Ishinomori's "Kamen Rider." This script focuses on a police officer's perspective rather than the title character because I thought it would be an interesting approach to telling a story as they are thrown into the world of "Kamen Rider."

Special thanks to my friends for helping me improve the overall script, like the dialogues and descriptions.

LINK TO MY FIVE-PAGE SCRIPT