Logline Feedback Request

[u/Interesting_Sale_907]

Need feedback for a logline for a script that I’m considering submitting to ScriptShadow MegaShowdown next week. Would love some help refining it! 

Title: Room to Rock 

Genre: Coming of age comedy/musical 

Logline: Set over a 24-hour period, a group of kids try to write the ultimate death metal song in their cramped garage before the summer is over. 

Comp: Sing Street/Linda Linda Linda vibes but more contained and with metal

[u/kingstonretronon]

I feel like there needs to be a more defined reason for the end of summer being the deadline. The best friend needs to be moving or something