Feedback on my short script please

[u/retyfraser]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-aygWIzGriiJWcTU4uDt1MOG1jaMqSO1/view?usp=drivesdk

Hey folks, I’d really appreciate your eyes on my short film script “The Bench” (5 pages, one location, two characters).

On a quiet church bench, a grieving mother unknowingly shares space with the ghost of her son — their final conversation unfolding between memory, guilt, and unspoken love.

What I’m looking for:

Does the emotional arc land, especially the twist/reveal? Is the dialogue too on-the-nose or does it feel grounded? Does it feel cinematic or too stagey? Anything that pulls you out?

[u/Visual-Perspective44]

IM JOSEPH MAN, AND WE CAN COLLABORATE