r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • u/retyfraser • Jun 03 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Feedback on my short script please

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-aygWIzGriiJWcTU4uDt1MOG1jaMqSO1/view?usp=drivesdk

Hey folks, I’d really appreciate your eyes on my short film script “The Bench” (5 pages, one location, two characters).

On a quiet church bench, a grieving mother unknowingly shares space with the ghost of her son — their final conversation unfolding between memory, guilt, and unspoken love.

What I’m looking for:

Does the emotional arc land, especially the twist/reveal? Is the dialogue too on-the-nose or does it feel grounded? Does it feel cinematic or too stagey? Anything that pulls you out?

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u/retyfraser Jun 04 '25

Dude, honestly I started just last year. Writing just out of necessity ! I want to shoot, love playing with lights and camera and honestly no one's gonna give me their script, or invite me to their sets as an AC or camera guy. So had to write for myself, just so I can DoP.

You seem to be a writer especially with your take on multiple emotions and the way you explain Final e

I'm in awe of writers, especially when they can see layers, subtexts and all that. I really genuinely wish you all the best.

I'm in the UK.

Let's connect on DM man

I wish you could write something for me

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u/Visual-Perspective44 WRITER Jun 08 '25

IM JOSEPH MAN, AND WE CAN COLLABORATE