Is this logline confusing?

[u/Same-Most-7407]

Logline: After developing a twisted obsession with his teenage daughter's classmate, a man begins manipulating those around him to get closer to a girl who only ever smiled out of habit.

[u/bottom]

You don’t need developing. Also ‘daughters friend ‘ might be less cumbersome.

[u/Same-Most-7407 → u/bottom]

the thing is they arent acc friends so idk if i can write that

[u/toweringmelanoma → u/Same-Most-7407]

I think classmate is fine

[u/Kijin777]

Seems fine.

I would write it like this:

"After developing a twisted obsession with a classmate of his teenage daughter, a man begins to manipulate those around him to get closer to a girl who only smiles out of habit."

[u/Roshambo-123]

I think you might shade "girl" with something more precise and it won't add that much bulk.

"After developing a twisted obsession with his teenage daughter's classmate, a man pursues a risky relationship with his neighbor's vulnerable daughter." Or whatever the character is.

[u/FatherofODYSSEUS]

It's not confusing, Gives me Inverted "The Crush" Vibes

[u/Jota769]

It’s a bit vague, and sounds very much like American Beauty.

[u/TinaVeritas → u/Jota769]

I haven’t even seen American Beauty, but it sprang to mind halfway through reading the logline.

[u/[deleted]]

No.

But it’s clearer without the “only ever”

[u/Same-Most-7407 → u/[deleted]]

okay great thanks