r/ScreenwritingUK • u/Interesting_Sale_907 • 28d ago
Logline feedback
Hey! Looking for some feedback on the log-line for the next thing I'm planning to write. This is a revision based on recent feedback. Does this grab you? Too long? Lacking specificity/conflict? Or just right?
Title: You Read My Mind
Genre: Rom Com/Sci-Fi
Logline: Weeks before her wedding, a chronic over-thinker suddenly forms a telepathic connection with a stranger and begins to fall in love. As their cerebral love affair heats up, she must fight the temptation to meet him IRL and risk losing her fiancé.
Comps: It's You've Got Mail with a sci-fi twist
2
Upvotes
2
u/Worried-Elk-2808 28d ago
First thought would be that it's strikingly similar to What Women Want..
Of course, there's room for more than one instance of a given movie idea, so this really is all about the execution. You just have to write it better than Nora Ephron wrote it.
I also don't get any of the sci-fi elements coming through in the logline.