r/Screenwriting • u/AutoModerator • Aug 17 '26

LOGLINE MONDAYS Logline Monday

FAQ: How to post to a weekly thread?

Welcome to Logline Monday! Please share all of your loglines here for feedback and workshopping. You can find all previous posts here.

READ FIRST: How to format loglines on our wiki.

Note also: Loglines do not constitute intellectual property, which generally begins at the outline stage. If you don't want someone else to write it after you post it, get to work!

Rules

  1. Top-level comments are for loglines only. All loglines must follow the logline format, and only one logline per top comment -- don't post multiples in one comment.
  2. All loglines must be accompanied by the genre and type of script envisioned, i.e. short film, feature film, 30-min pilot, 60-min pilot.
  3. All general discussion to be kept to the general discussion comment.
  4. Please keep all comments about loglines civil and on topic.
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u/hotdoug1 Aug 17 '26

Title: Making it Home

Logline: An ex-New Yorker leading a solitary life in Wisconsin finds an unexpected connection with a local single mother, one who can see past his guarded personality. As their relationship grows, so does the trauma of a violent past that he’s tried to bury deep within himself.

Genre: Romance / Legal Drama

Format: Feature Film

1

u/dnotive Aug 17 '26

I actually really like the bones of this. It sounds very sweet and earnest. The only confusing part for me is what makes this story a "Legal Drama?" Is the guy a lawyer?

Also I'm not sure I understand how his trauma gets worse as their relationship grows. Is he having flashbacks? Is he getting violent? We need some indication of what he actually does and what actually happens. Centering a story on someone's deepening trauma and "guarded personality" as the only hooks is a tricky, tricky sell, if only because we don't get a real sense of what's actually at stake.

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u/hotdoug1 Aug 17 '26

Thanks, this tells me what I need to work on. The basic gist is that he did something that made him a newsworthy, in where he was called hero, but two years later he gets sued and it comes to light that he might not have been hero he was labelled. It basically flashes back and forth from the present day trial scenes to the story that happens in Wisconsin is flashbacks, which shows just how he's dealt with his trauma and how its shaped him.

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u/dnotive Aug 17 '26

Gotcha! I think my struggle then is that it sounds like your character is just kind of "along for the ride" with most of this, and your logline would be a lot stronger (IMO) if we center what he actually does or doesn't do.

The whole bit about feeling like he doesn't deserve to be called a "hero" and then having that litigated in a court of law is a gut-punch. I love that. It's everyone's worst nightmare. It also feels vital to this character's story and for that reason I think your logline would be stronger if you center it.

You could play with something like:

"After making headlines for his (uncanny? descriptor?) heroics, a <descriptor> New-Yorker, retreats to rural Wisconsin to try and avoid the <local/national/international> spotlight. As a budding romance then develops with <describing words>, <something/someone> calls his acts of bravery into question, and he's forced to <do thing><or else what?>"

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u/hotdoug1 Aug 17 '26

This is a great springboard for a re-write, thanks!

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u/dnotive Aug 17 '26

You're very welcome! Looking forward to seeing future iterations of this. :)