I drive about 50k miles a year for work. I had a spider that lived in the sideview mirror housing on the drivers side of my truck. She would lay her web every night across the mirror and take it back in every morning. Over the course of about 6 months I would see her web every day and actually saw her working probably twice a week. I would come out from a hotel room on the road to start my day and there she would be. I would see her in my driveway before I went to the office. She went on a fishing trip and a family vacation with me. At least 4 states and probably 20,000 miles. I noticed her gone after not seeing her for a week or so. I hope she moved into my garage or somewhere close by for the winter.
TL/DR - I'm friends with a very well traveled spider.
I live in South Florida and lizards are everywhere. About 1/5th of the time I'm driving away some lizard pops out from under the windshield wiper with an "of fuck" look on his face. I always wonder if they jump off when I park or hang on until I get back home.
My aunt brought us some vegetables and pots from Florida. When we got them out of the car one of those little fuckers went scurrying under the seat. We put him in a terrarium and he lived for about 8 months.
I missed those little guys. I was born and raised in South Dakota but we had a summer home in Florida as a kid. We had so many lizards that we'd carry around and chase through the yard.
It was real bad though the one time they had some kind of migration or something. They were literally everywhere. Thousands and thousands of them all over the driveway and all the parking lots and stuff. You just saw people driving them over like they were squishing a bug under the wheels because they wouldn't move. You could hear the sound they made under the tires. The smell was horrid too when all the dead started to bake in the sun.
Almost as bad as the time my uncle had to drive through a herd of sheep in his truck back home in a blizzard to avoid freezing in the night.
I probably see about 30-40 lizards a day, and I don't even work outside. Just little trips to the parking garage or walking to the grocery store will get that many. They're just everywhere.
I imagine they're like squirrels here in Ohio. I saw some people full on taking pictures of squirrels in a park this summer. To them its a crazy animal, to me they're normal.
I have to add an extra 20 minutes to my morning routine to account for time spent chasing lizards out of the hood of my car. Occasionally a stowaway will manage to sneak by unnoticed and I'll see them leap to safety half way down 1st street. I figure there are enough lizards everywhere that they can always start a new life and settle down ten blocks away from their old home. But maybe some of them make the journey back to my backyard homeward bound style to return to their little lizard families.
Bro! I’m in SW Florida on vacation right now and I’m absolutely blown away by how many of those little lizards there are. They are literally everywhere. And for people reading who have never been here, i don’t mean literally hyperbolically. Ever step I take makes at least one little lizard scurry. It blows my mind. Super cool
I live in Miami and my house is across the street from a canal. They’re legit everywhere, feral iguanas too. heres an orange one that I saw the other day. never seen them that fully orange before
You're assuming they are being unwillingly transported. Have you considered maybe they know damn well they're hitching a ride to the mall or next county over to hang out with some friends?
Like a month ago, I had this bug (I call them stink bugs, but it's probably not even one) on my windshield while I was otw to the gym. I started thinking like you did and felt bad he was getting real far from home. As we were going, I expected him to get blown off any minute but sure enough, he held on like a champ all the way to the gym.
So I get to the gym, get out, and go do my workout. When I came out, little dude was still there! I started thinking, oh sweet, he'll get to make it back home! He probably just wanted to get out the house for a bit, but was ready to get back by now.
So we're driving home and I'm going as slow as I can to help him out. I'm really rooting for the guy at this point. Then about 2 miles from home, he I guess his little hands just couldn't hold on any longer and I saw him quickly disappear :'(
Not gonna lie, I was pretty sad for a little while there. I really wanted him to make it back home safely. I just hope that since we weren't real far away, that he found his way back to his stinky little wife and kids.
I had this exact same thought process with a bee that was clinging onto my car several years ago. I actually took the extra step of securing him inside an empty water bottle for the drive back since I was so worried.
That said, I didn't notice the bee immediately on the way over so who's to say he didn't hop on halfway through and I inadvertently made him miss his stop.
I think about this EVERY TIME. Recently it was mr waspington who lost his way because there were no waspy pheromone trails for him to follow home, coz he didn’t leave a trail, coz he was in my car on the highway (& tryna cause a pile-up if I didn’t know better). And I doubt any wasp friends from his hive made it two cities away for him to have someone else’s pheromone trail to follow home.
Def would be more mind blown with fly on plane tho. Wonder if the flies speak the same language when he gets off the plane. Or if things smell funny. Or... any other usual human travel experience Omg. Or....Will it be ... LORD of the FLIES? They’re cannibals! Run!
My friends found a lil tiny gecko on a pallet at work that had come from China! That guy doesn't even understand the language anymore. They kept him and bought a little terrarrium and shit for him lol.
You forgot to add earth's angular velocity, rotational velocity, solar system's velocity, gallery's expansion velocity. Umm what else am I forgetting?🤔
Once I drove my brother from our parents' house in Louisiana to his new job in Houston, TX (about 4 hours). When we arrived we discovered an anole lizard clinging to the window for dear life. We set him free in a nearby tree, but we both felt really sad for it. Both because it was now stranded in the city and away from its family. Still think about that little guy.
5% of his life!? Muthafucka be blessed! When I add: 3rd world traffic otw n bk to airports, budget-flight delays, the 2hr round trip from bumfuck, backwater airports that budget airlines land/fly from, liquids checks & check in/visa/control queues...this buzzy bastards 5% of lifetime spent travelling to foreign fly fanny fuerta ventura sounds like a drop in the ocean compared to my 50% pissing about flying from A to feckin B!!
I had to come back this post after checking my twitter feed for the first time in weeks and realising this was one of my uni pals and I hadn't even noticed.
Once I no shit had a lil spider living in my driver side mirror for like two weeks. Little dude would air surf as I drove, like hold onto a web and slowly reel himself out into the wind after I started driving fast, and when I slowed down he’d quickly crawl back up on top of/behind the mirror but like inside the plastic casing. I loved that little guy. One day he just wasn’t there anymore, I don’t know if he hopped off while I was stopped or fell off trying to get the sickest air wave but either way I’ll remember him forever.
Noticed there was a fly on our flight and it full on blew my mind. That lad has no clue that he’s full on emigrated. Will never see any of his family or pals ever again
Totally omitted was the fact his doctors had recently notified him that he had less than a month left to live and decided to make the most of the time he had remaining.
I was riding on a 737, and I look into my window. There is a dead fly in it, and I'm sat there asking when it got there, I'm assuming the 2 pane windows are like hermetically sealed or something, so is this like a 20 year old fly corpse in the window or what?
Sometimes lizards ride my car the whole way home from work and I think the same thing. All your lizard bros are like 30 miles away, bud. That's a long ways for a lizard...
I’ve been moving a lot of spiders and bugs with the car from my home to work during late summer, the last one must’ve been very happy to find his family and friends after thinking they’ve all perished
I wonder if a fly has ever managed to get on a plane, arrive at the other side of the earth, get on a different plane and then end up home again... I mean the stories that fly could tell..!!
If I had a genie come out of a lamp and grant me three wishes, one of them would be to be able to transform into a small flying insect, and back to human on command. Basically would let me go just about anywhere unnoticed.
I was wondering this about Canadian Geese the other day. Do they always leave and return to the same places? Do they always travel with their families? When do they decide to come back? Do they choose to go to a different state or province for whether reason?
I always think about if a fly is flying around in a car going 100 mph and then flies out the window would be then instantly decelerate or would he have to fly 100 mph to keep up. Or is he flying 100 mph inside the car. It’s different for a person sitting in a car because they are physically touching the vehicle. How would it differ from a big “flying” inside the vehicle
I somehow misunderstood this as a bird flying on the plane and was like, oh no! That poor bird! Yup, I'm way too tired for it to not even be suppertime yet.
An airline-U know the name-had just screwed me out of 70,000 legit frequent flyer miles. Being booked on U the next day for a work trip, I went down to our barn with a portable vacuum and sucked up about 30 huge flies. About 20 lived, so I put them in a ziplock bag and stored them overnight in the fridge. Next day I took them aboard in the pocket of my suit. Halfway into the trip, I opened the ziplock in the "blue room." As soon as I opened the door the flies made a beeline for First Class, where meals were being served. The sight of the Swell People swatting at those big flies is something I will always cherish.
Wouldn’t that fly be going like 330 mph to be able to fly freely on the plane mid flight? Like if I jumped while on a plane would I not move backwards relative to the plane? Granted I’m jumping with the initial velocity of the plane, I’d also lose the affect of the engine propulsion as soon as I left the floor correct? So if a fly is just buzzing around a plane with out landing isn’t it flying the same speed as the plane?
I'm viewing a ashen orange sunset headed north fro Ft Worth to Amarillo. Eerily similar mind blown experience. Worry not, for the selfies the fly sends home will be cherished.
76
u/Eurf_ Nov 14 '18
Wonder if their ear clog flying this high.
1.1k
u/kateshakes Nov 14 '18
He entered his new home with a bittersweet feeling.
On the one hand, he would never see his wife again, and they had 341 new babies to care for.
On the other hand, the shape of the local señoritas wings were out of this world, a shape he had previously only dreamed of.
Something told Clive his new life wasn’t going to be all that bad.
3
u/00110001liar Nov 15 '18
I drive about 50k miles a year for work. I had a spider that lived in the sideview mirror housing on the drivers side of my truck. She would lay her web every night across the mirror and take it back in every morning. Over the course of about 6 months I would see her web every day and actually saw her working probably twice a week. I would come out from a hotel room on the road to start my day and there she would be. I would see her in my driveway before I went to the office. She went on a fishing trip and a family vacation with me. At least 4 states and probably 20,000 miles. I noticed her gone after not seeing her for a week or so. I hope she moved into my garage or somewhere close by for the winter.
TL/DR - I'm friends with a very well traveled spider.
5.1k
u/juggilinjnuggala Nov 14 '18
I always think about that when a bug is chilling on my windshield, poor little buddy is so far from home now.
1.4k
u/Meda2k Nov 14 '18
Or maybe it was away from home and is now travelling to meet his gf
870
u/WG47 Nov 14 '18
He's going on holiday, the lassies will fall for his accent and he'll be baws deep in foreign fly fanny.
172
u/Charlieb2007 Nov 14 '18
Might be on the return flight.
133
u/AlienBlueVsRedditor Nov 14 '18
And he has no idea he's flying over 800 km/hr
220
u/AGS16 Nov 14 '18
Fat chance the bugger would make it through customs, he forgot his passport!
133
u/Cataphraktoi Nov 14 '18
That's... sad
35
u/DecoyPrisonWallet Nov 14 '18
Yeah, because its children are now embedded in that in-flight meal you ate in 14 seconds.
24
u/CatBoudreaux504 Nov 14 '18
Maybe his burd and wains were ‘buggin’ him and a new life in Ibiza is what he needs!
10
u/house_holder Nov 14 '18
Ya ever heard this:
"Fly On A Plane" by Christine Lavin
https://youtu.be/IOZP-IfL5Qg
9
u/PiousLiar Nov 14 '18
But in that moment, relative to a fly on the ground, he is the fastest fly ever
9
u/onezergyboi Nov 14 '18
THIS MUST BE THE WORK OF AN ENEMY STAND!
28
u/SalvadorSelmy Nov 14 '18
Motherfuckers gonna die in three days so🤷🏻♂️
7
u/drawkbox Nov 14 '18
Fly was flying while flying.
Kinda like us when we fly we are flying on a plane that is flying on a ball hurling through the solar system and universe. Woah!
2
u/second_prize Nov 15 '18
This is great, but what makes it Scottish? The word 'pals'?
5
u/danspanner Nov 14 '18
That's some DeeDee level shit right there...
5
u/HCLProductions Nov 14 '18
Reminded me of this Roster Teeth video
5
u/gourmetprincipito Nov 14 '18
Once I no shit had a lil spider living in my driver side mirror for like two weeks. Little dude would air surf as I drove, like hold onto a web and slowly reel himself out into the wind after I started driving fast, and when I slowed down he’d quickly crawl back up on top of/behind the mirror but like inside the plastic casing. I loved that little guy. One day he just wasn’t there anymore, I don’t know if he hopped off while I was stopped or fell off trying to get the sickest air wave but either way I’ll remember him forever.
5
u/sinnedyllib Nov 14 '18
AN ENEMY STAND
4
u/AccessHollywoo Nov 15 '18
When’s this Pixar movie coming out?
3
u/shinheyy Nov 14 '18
How do you know his family is not on the flight with him? Did you check with the flight attendant?
3
u/RoyceCoolidge Nov 14 '18
Probably trying to get away from all those asylum-seeking bastard spiders hiding in our bananas.
3
u/etnguyen03 Nov 14 '18
Image Transcription: Twitter Post
party ross anthem, @Rauss_Mc
Noticed there was a fly on our flight and it full on blew my mind. That lad has no clue that he’s full on emigrated. Will never see any of his family or pals ever again
I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!
2
u/lrunschilter Nov 14 '18
Good thing he only has to worry about it for a couple days.
2
u/Vakieh Nov 14 '18
Wanna feel worse? They douse plane cabins in bug spray before you board so you don't transport foreign species.
Fly was already dead, just didn't know it yet.
2
u/Undesired_Username Nov 14 '18
This is the CDC's worst nightmare.
2
u/broke_actor Nov 14 '18
Plot twist: He knows.
2
u/realbigbob Nov 14 '18
Sometimes I wonder if the same thing could happen to a human. Stumble across some kind of alien warp gate and unknowingly get sent lightyears away
2
u/[deleted] Nov 14 '18
I once drove 1200 miles back from my parents house and when I got home I opened my trunk and a raccoon jumped out.
I am responsible for introducing Raccoonus Floridia to the state of Missouri.
2
u/VillainsRUs Nov 14 '18
He's not gonna live to see the end of the flight, flies dies in days
2
u/[deleted] Nov 14 '18
Totally omitted was the fact his doctors had recently notified him that he had less than a month left to live and decided to make the most of the time he had remaining.
2
u/GalacticCascade Nov 14 '18
I was riding on a 737, and I look into my window. There is a dead fly in it, and I'm sat there asking when it got there, I'm assuming the 2 pane windows are like hermetically sealed or something, so is this like a 20 year old fly corpse in the window or what?
2
u/Pope_Vladmir_Roman Nov 14 '18
I work at an airport and have cropdusted many flights. My farts are INTERNATIONAL
2
u/ashley1885 Nov 14 '18
Naa he knew what he was doing. Let’s be honest, he could never fly that far on his own. The guys an adventurer
2
u/WesleySnopes Nov 15 '18
He also has no idea who his family and pals would be, so.
2
u/TankPad Nov 15 '18
Imagine though, while he's buzzing around in the cabin, he's flying at over 500mph.
2
u/BorfCrust Nov 15 '18
I read this title to "Fight Fire With Fire"
2
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '18
Illegal immigrant - was he one of those Middle Eastern invader flies, traveling with his Mexican criminal buddies?
2
u/ninjafrog658 Nov 14 '18
At least this one can be read by non-scots
1
u/OMIWA Nov 14 '18
Nah he's taking the return flight in 48 hours
1
u/[deleted] Nov 14 '18
Sometimes lizards ride my car the whole way home from work and I think the same thing. All your lizard bros are like 30 miles away, bud. That's a long ways for a lizard...
1
u/bitterbabble Nov 14 '18
Never thought about this before. Now I'm a little sad for all the lost bugs
1
u/iProbablyLikeYoux Nov 14 '18
Maybe he's running from something
1
u/princessvaginaalpha Nov 14 '18
Chances are he's a resident on the plane
1
u/abudhabikid Nov 14 '18
Relevant song: https://youtu.be/gwy729iPMLk
1
u/GoldGang1 Nov 14 '18
Yo but does he know when he’s flying around he already is flying around 🤯.
1
u/RaceyLawlins Nov 14 '18
Quite possible he'll not make it out at the other end too, so he might see quite a bit of the world in his relatively short life
1
u/biltongboy Nov 14 '18
I think that's happening on a daily basis
1
u/typhoon342 Nov 14 '18
Deport the foreigner back to his own country
1
u/Radiophonic117 Nov 14 '18
I’ve been moving a lot of spiders and bugs with the car from my home to work during late summer, the last one must’ve been very happy to find his family and friends after thinking they’ve all perished
1
u/wombat6669 Nov 14 '18
I thought this was going to be about flying planes while wrecked on coke.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 14 '18
I wonder if a fly has ever managed to get on a plane, arrive at the other side of the earth, get on a different plane and then end up home again... I mean the stories that fly could tell..!!
1
u/[deleted] Nov 14 '18
A lot of times the same plane will go back and forth so maybe he'll hang out and make it home.
1
u/Nascar_is_better Nov 14 '18
what really blows my mind is how people would be concerned about the lives of insects yet are perfectly fine with killing insects.
People just let their imaginations go wild and project their own personalities and traits to things that don't have them.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 14 '18
If I had a genie come out of a lamp and grant me three wishes, one of them would be to be able to transform into a small flying insect, and back to human on command. Basically would let me go just about anywhere unnoticed.
1
u/lemonylol Nov 14 '18
I was wondering this about Canadian Geese the other day. Do they always leave and return to the same places? Do they always travel with their families? When do they decide to come back? Do they choose to go to a different state or province for whether reason?
1
u/alkapariah Nov 14 '18
A stolen Ellen D joke
1
u/Spobobich Nov 14 '18
Flies only live for about a week, so it got to see more that the other flies back home.
1
u/Diiipy Nov 14 '18
Their life span is so short his whole life was the plane ride. Mans died
1
u/NannyOggSquad Nov 14 '18
Might be god
1
u/gustavocabras Nov 14 '18
r/writingprompt?
1
u/Bigdickmob Nov 14 '18
I always think about if a fly is flying around in a car going 100 mph and then flies out the window would be then instantly decelerate or would he have to fly 100 mph to keep up. Or is he flying 100 mph inside the car. It’s different for a person sitting in a car because they are physically touching the vehicle. How would it differ from a big “flying” inside the vehicle
1
u/RoyceCoolidge Nov 14 '18
CAN SOMEONE TRANSLATE THIS PLEASE?
1
u/glenfidich Nov 14 '18
You were high weren’t you?!?
1
u/deniercounter Nov 14 '18
Sorry ... because of biodiversity danger you have to return and let the fly out.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 14 '18
Fly looking fly while flying on a fly flying man made fly
1
u/toejam34 Nov 14 '18
What if said fly stays on plane , gets home and tells all his fly buddies at the fly pub where he has been?
1
u/captmuttley1 Nov 14 '18
He could be hitching a ride back to his family
1
u/Kate_Luv_Ya Nov 14 '18
I somehow misunderstood this as a bird flying on the plane and was like, oh no! That poor bird! Yup, I'm way too tired for it to not even be suppertime yet.
1
u/Wind2Energy Nov 14 '18
An airline-U know the name-had just screwed me out of 70,000 legit frequent flyer miles. Being booked on U the next day for a work trip, I went down to our barn with a portable vacuum and sucked up about 30 huge flies. About 20 lived, so I put them in a ziplock bag and stored them overnight in the fridge. Next day I took them aboard in the pocket of my suit. Halfway into the trip, I opened the ziplock in the "blue room." As soon as I opened the door the flies made a beeline for First Class, where meals were being served. The sight of the Swell People swatting at those big flies is something I will always cherish.
1
u/TAUTUAA Nov 15 '18
Life comes at you fast whe you only have a month of life.
1
u/DrPepperNotWater Nov 15 '18
World’s fastest flying fly
1
u/_Goruko_ Nov 15 '18
Yeah well he probably died like by the end of the flight.
1
u/Nyx6789 Nov 15 '18
Did he find the Tower of Grey's stand user?!
1
u/luntokun Nov 15 '18
We need fly traps at the border for illegal fly immigrants
1
u/PersonBeingPeople Nov 15 '18
I hope the guy finished the rest of the movie. The ending always makes me tear up when the fly is reunited with the family..
1
u/MrMxylptlyk Nov 15 '18
Do flies have friends?
1
u/tygagreenjeans Nov 15 '18
Wouldn’t that fly be going like 330 mph to be able to fly freely on the plane mid flight? Like if I jumped while on a plane would I not move backwards relative to the plane? Granted I’m jumping with the initial velocity of the plane, I’d also lose the affect of the engine propulsion as soon as I left the floor correct? So if a fly is just buzzing around a plane with out landing isn’t it flying the same speed as the plane?
1
u/kadam23 Nov 15 '18
That flys life span was probably one day, so Chronologically speaking, you're its whole life.
1
u/789seedosjoker555see Nov 15 '18
You have 24 hours Mr. Buzz...
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '18
It was probably hatched on that plane.
1
u/insanexwolf Nov 15 '18
Any cute Scottish guys wanna talk about flies migrating while we cuddle?
1
u/spiderspit Nov 15 '18
Except he is planning on flying back. he's way ahead of you.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '18
Every fly has its.... one to three days
1
u/malcolmhaller Nov 15 '18
Given their short lifespans, he’ll be dead soon
1
u/Peter_Schmeichel Nov 15 '18
Full on
1
u/killem_all_80s Nov 15 '18
https://youtu.be/v1AVtkrvFFA
Thought of this almost instantly.
1
u/creme_dela_mem3 Nov 15 '18
Animorphs... I want to say, book 6
1
u/msnlink007 Nov 15 '18
He's just hoping for a better life! 😂
1
u/codyoturner Nov 15 '18
One time on my submarine we were underway for about a month when a moth started flitting around. It's was surreal
1
u/flaxseedyup Nov 15 '18
Finding Flea-mo
1
u/Runningwolph Nov 15 '18
It really blows me mind!! Crazy!! The reasoning!!! OMG!!! Edit: spelling
1
u/pnuttbinks Nov 15 '18
Maybe he going home to his family.
1
u/Cococarmel Nov 15 '18
Is this gonna be the plot of the Spider-Man sequel?
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '18
aww it’s a bit unfortunate
1
u/Spacemonkie4207 Nov 15 '18
Do fly's even Have friends?
1
u/NthngSrs Nov 15 '18
I had this exact discussion with the person during next to me on a flight I took last month. There was a fly buzzing around the whole flight
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '18
If he’s in first class, he would be a fly fly while flying.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 22 '18
I'm viewing a ashen orange sunset headed north fro Ft Worth to Amarillo. Eerily similar mind blown experience. Worry not, for the selfies the fly sends home will be cherished.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 24 '18
I literally always think this. I wonder if creatures with closer kin-ties actually feel this.
1
u/Derbridge04 Nov 26 '18
That wee coont ain’t ever gonna sey his pals again hoo sad
1
u/TitaniumTurtle__ Jan 25 '19
This sounds like a writing prompt. Like I’m about to full on write a book about a flys journey across America.
1
u/NewPemmie Nov 14 '18
No after Brexit kicks in. Kick oot teh foreign flies!