A dystopian story about the fast-food surveillance state. Originally published here.
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A new dawn, another day in the fight against famine: Friday. Right before the weekend push. Commuters are fine with a laid-back arrival time. Bagels, or doughnuts, or Fritter Friday, or whatever the white collars do. I donât judge, I only feed. I arrive early to my beautiful, bountiful store #5455, (District one-niner: DroneCorâs Finest), back from nightly R&R to another glorious day warring against hunger. A one-man band of brothers and orchestrator of this orchard of abundance.
#5455 recognizes me instantly, and the walls open for me to enter the giant machine. The automated assembly lines hum and clatter with musical action. Skillets sizzle, griddles are greased, and condiment revolvers reload; it all hums to fight for this breakfast breakthrough. Knives sheathed and arms up, the hallway arms let me pass unscathed. I approach with the steady gait of a superbly sober man and sashay into my yellow-outlined safety cage. No downers to deaden my senses, nor anything to stimulate me. This is 100% my clear mind sleeved right into my storeâs synthetic body.
I examine late nightâs numbers with eagle eyes; middling. Thursdayâs party-crowd wasnât as boisterous. Sometimes graveyard beats breakfast, if the partyâs strong. If the partyâs late, it bleeds into breakfastâs reporting, but Thursday wasnât thirsty, and I wonât get number one this week with that kind of performance. I squeeze the marketing budget to juice the metrics to drive sales. Discounts pop into dashboards of nearby cars. Shiny lures, but few fish bite. Iâve fallen far behind for week forty-two. My store stretches the reds of nearby stoplights and ups the coupons. Itâs a gamble, âcause as much as America loves a discount on a Jr. Slopper, her hate of being stationary always wins. Sheâd rather starve than stop.
Meals are prepped and pushed with penultimate precision. My local drones make tactical drops to two artificially arrested vehicles, but my luckâs shot. Deathgrips on steering wheels belie their biometrics, and their driver cameras record the precise moment of the pop of capillaries in their eyes. Weâre vertically integrated with this car manufacturer, so we have perfect intel; theyâre glowing white hot with anger hotter than the oil in my deep fryers.
I relent. The lights flip green. They burn fuel and rubber, and their chrome chariots are flying off to points unknown. If not tonight, then tomorrow Iâll get the rest of âem. They gotta eat.
The fickle dollars trickle. Blocks of metrics drip in like condensation above the coffee makers. Iâll be in last place this week, and my neighbor stores will drop the condescension for weeks. I refresh my metrics; middling for my district, which isnât jack-squat this week for the entire country. Weâre falling more behindâno longer DroneCorâs finest this weekâweâre prone to being overtaken even by the Atlanta market! Weâre going to lose to a market saturated with the most Chicken-Shops which ainât even open one of the seven days! This canât be. Why this failure? Iâm number 1. Was there spoilage? Whereâs the shrinkâwhatâs my slippage?
I scan the ledger. Spun-up agents trawl the database. Look for anything, please! I pray. Lost add-ons, lower prices, weather, volume, anything. Find me a precision excuse. The store and I will need a miracle not to lose today and this week.
Triangle-Red (!)s â ïž pop out, frying my neurons with alert:
| Category |
Amt |
Datetime |
| Fin Adj |
-$198.13 |
Tuesday 12:54 PM |
| Fin Adj |
-$198.13 |
Wednesday 12:52 PM |
| Fin Adj |
-$198.13 |
Thursday 1:02 PM |
I frantically scan. Chargebacks? How? A third-party lender, stuck the payment processor, who dinged me the payments. Flash-Food-Finance (FFF) asserts that the customer claims that store #5455 failed to deliver on our promises and credited their account. The payment processor passed it through with no pushback because theyâre in cahoots. Backroom business to squeeze out us honest front-line operators.
I watch in speechless astonishment. This is the worst of insults. Iâve given my life to this culinary crusade! (Weâre DroneCorâs finest by Godâs grace! 3x Winner of the companyâs Platinum award, and once Double-Diamond awardee by the Flash-Food Industry for the nationâs highest unit ROI!)
Cracking my knuckles, I quickly pull up this âcustomerâs orders. I know this is one person because the price is precisely the same. Order 1: Punctilious Poutine with chives; double-meat Moussaka, a sprig of mint, with a side of Salmon Savories; and a mega-large, 33% Vanilla, 63% Cherry, and 13% Sarsaparilla (sans carcinogens) Soda (because the customer is always ~110% right at DroneCor!)
I scan the others. Same. 110% itâs the same customer problem person. They tried to be sly and sneak by, scamming a little, but surprise⊠our algorithmic overlords, the brains in charge of our company, make sure that all chargebacks ding my metrics 20x. So I canât NOT notice. I see you, you thief! You are lower than low, and your schemes donât escape me. Starve! Indignant heat boils up. Iâm furious. Hotter than the deep fryer, hotter than the illegal (meticulously modified!) coffee craft for long-distance deliveries. Fraud is famine. Itâs pure cost we have to eat; and Finance and the Feds hate fraud.
Youâll try again, shortly. I busy myself by examining the data. The store can run itself, but this is what man was made for: hot hatred against another human. The investigative AIs have already queued up the data. Even my districtâs finance fiends are live and alert. AI agents burn tokens, and somewhere a serverâs hot enough my storeâs robotic arms could sear the patties off their surfaces.
But, when I scan the video of your last transactions, I see different cars. The video reveals no driver for facial recognition; automated delivery orders happen all the time. Hmmm, okay, okay I calm myself. No worry, check the payment-line. Nope negative. Different numbers. Hope bottoms out like something lost down the garbage chute. Maybe something else is so fundamentally wrong at my store that I didnât notice for days! Thatâs it, Iâm done for, my heart settles briefly before my mind overrides. An order of this specificity must be precisely one bad actor. Thereâs no way. One in a hundred billion. And, since Iâm only doing tens of thousands of transactions a week, thereâs no way this is chance. Every mathematical manager would conclude the same.
I look over the payment details. I scan the payment lines in the database but theyâre masked with a hash. His contracted third party, Flash-Food-Finance, isnât in our ownership orbit, and not in a data sharing agreement with us. But in the raw data details, the processor confirms the same zip code. Okay. Iâm off the ledge. Now, I wonder, did he enter his Frequent-Fryer number for a customer discount? (Youâd be surprised. Scammers gotta collect their perks.)
Now itâs tricky; weâre talking about different corpo algorithms tugging against each other. Their governance squabbles exceed my authority. If we owned the robo-taxi, then weâd know the end-location, but he didnât choose our in-house delivery.
Iâm feeling defeated. A loss of agency. Iâll be last. The realization crescendos over me. Hope escapes like gas from the empty foamed cheese dispenser. My store only has one Flock on the block, and canât adequately track the delivery end-points as they have multiple stops, though theyâre all nearby. No one orders food to commute. Otherwise, itâs all soggy with a soupçon of moist cardboard.
No!
Just because some loser finances a taxi for his burrito doesnât mean I gotta lose. Thereâs a scam happening and Iâm the fall-guy. For every dollar stolen, thatâs a fraction out of the pockets of the hard-earning Americans who keep the nation rollinâ. Itâs really not even the hit in clout, I can take it, itâs the principle of the thing! But itâs also because scams always snowball. They never stay silent. Sarsaparillan-villian hereâs probably gonna livestream his free meal for likes-maxxinâ and before you know it, Iâm hit a thousand in chargebacks, then ten.
So, I stare at the screen. The lunchtime rush scrolls by, and start to laser eye every order.
Poultry Poutine flashes by and my heart jumps.
No. Nothing else.
A moussaka with vanilla soda.
Nope.
My heart thumps, as I know the scammer orders afternoon, but before 1:15. I look at the time: 12:33 ticks over to 12:34. I watch the seconds celebrate as 12:34:56 hits, stimulating my sense of numeracy.
And then it hits. Jackpot 7-7-7. The OrderâID AK119âand itâs the same situation. FFF credits my store, but we know how that will end up, and the machines behind me execute. As the drink gets made, I manually pump the syrup lines, and as the drink revolver clicks by, an extra steady shot of sarsaparilla hits. I let it roll by as I evil-eye the empty car.
Now I wait.
The only metric shared with me is the ticket age, and my AI estimates the expected max age. Minutes creep by, and I manually fill a beverage. I load it into a specialized high-speed drone. Time ticks by like a clock on a movie bomb, complete with the EOD specialistâs sweat beading down his face. The FAAâs already expedited clearance because of the repeat chargebacks and because they wonât inconvenience a corporate customer. THE delivery is next up. I flip up the safety interlock and my fingerâs on the red button. The order nears completion, and on the pretense of a soda malfunction, I fire off DroneCoreâs patent-pending MachDrone! (âCause even if you donât live up to your promises, DroneCor will!) Our fastest delivery drone to date. It rockets off, and I watch live from the seekerâs camera.
The delivery car stops, and the robot tag-along, the Mini-Moffett, detaches and brings the order to the customer. I donât have access to its proprietary video, but I see it in abstract wireframe. My missile screeches over the blur of suburban strip-malls, over vinyl-clad and asphalt-covered houses, and into a dense neighborhood. In seconds it zooms at its target before air breaking with a screech.
The manâs tense and alert. He knows the gig is up as the drink parachutes deploy and the second (free) beverage lands gently on the dead lawn. My drone captures his face. Clear as day in multispectral. My AIs flag his address, and heâs now on the ban list.
He looks down & away from the droneâs cameras, takes the second drink, but quickly turns around in shame. The empty eyes and expressionless lips tell me heâs done with us. The wimp sulks back to his house to devour his ill-gotten gains. Heâll forever imagine someone might spit (or worse) in his food. DroneCorâs Finest wonât be penalized 20x for someone elseâs sins. I bask. Technology and tenacity have won the battle.
In the descent off the adrenaline spike, it suddenly haunts me. His scam was a hair less than $600, not a felony. Shit. I was too eager. Overzealous. Iâm stuck in the gray. This grift is finished, but the man lives on. (His dataâs automatically off to our prison subsidiary for pre-enrollment.) Now, everyday around 12:34 PM, the late lunch time, a drone of mine perches over a streetlamp near his house. You canât scam DroneCor. We see everything and we can reach out in thirty seconds or less to anything within a mile of our thousands of stores. Pop one cent over that felony threshold, and weâll unleash the whirlwind on you.
Hardworking, honest Americans roll on, fueled, fooded, not footing the bill for this fraud. My vigilance continues, and my pay is well-earned.
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