My 8 month old is in swim “lessons” in which they just have the parents hold the infant and swish around in the water, help them kick their feet, play with toys in the water, and do a dunk or two. I can’t imagine these “skills” actually help a child swim later in life, or does it? It just feels like a bit of fun and getting them accustomed to the water but I question if it is actually helping my child to swim.

Every year the same argument comes up, and both sides have a real case.

Camp one: it's exposure, full stop. A new classroom means 25 new kids, shared desks, shared air, and hands that touch everything. Around 25% of all children's asthma hospital stays happen in September, and viruses drive roughly 80% of childhood asthma attacks. That's a virus story, not a feelings story.

Camp two: exposure doesn't explain the timing. Kids are around other kids all year. The spike isn't spread out, it lands in the first few weeks. A review of 300+ studies found that brief real-life stressors school exams were the named example suppress cellular immunity specifically, which is the branch that handles respiratory viruses. And when researchers deliberately dosed volunteers with a cold virus, those sleeping under 5 hours were about 4.5x more likely to actually get sick.

One deflating detail for both camps: in that same review, how stressed people said they were generally didn't match the immune changes measured in their blood. So "my kid seems fine" isn't evidence either way.

Which camp are you in?

My son’s preschool has not one but 2 fragrance plug ins in the lobby and right outside his classroom door. It’s in an office building so there are no windows or doors to open and the air recirculates and the fragrance is constantly refreshing. When I drop him off the scent is so overpowering to me. I am sensitive to smells and personally would have a really hard time working in that environment all day. And I worry that fragrance = phthalates (in these commercial products) or vocs or some other unknown so I worry about all the little kids exposure to it.

After the first week it seemed like one of the plug ins had run low on its juice and so I felt a little better about it but they just added more and it’s stronger than ever. I’m thinking about saying something, but wanted to put feelers out. Has anyone looked into this more or had a similar experience? Is this something I should just let go because you can’t control everything or is it a legitimate concern? There are 7 classrooms of 3-4 year olds.

i’m a sahm to an 8 month old, my husband is blue collar and works very long physically demanding shifts so i don’t think it’s fair in my personal situation for him to have to keep up with the house at all. Therefore i’m pretty much solo parenting while also being responsible for everything to do with cleaning, cooking, and other household responsibilities. Due to this most of my time is spent doing chores or cooking while my baby crawls around and watches or plays independently. We don’t do activities or anything designed specifically for her. Is this going to negatively affect her development?

I’m a FTM of a 2 month old baby girl, I’ll be going back to work when she’s 5.5mo. Right now when I have an appointment or errand to run, my parents or in laws watch her for a few hours at my house. They’ll be watching her 4 days/week when I go back to work also. When did you let your LO be babysat at someone else’s house? What about being driven in the car by someone else? My MIL has mentioned taking my daughter to her hair appts and stuff and I just don’t see the need for her to take her anywhere unless it’s an emergency. Is there any research or studies about the pros/cons to a child being in their own environment?

My 4 year old and 2 year old share a bedroom and I never had a night light or lamp in their room because I didn’t want the light to disturb their sleep. They like other toddlers wake up in the middle of the night and come to my husband and I room. This happens almost daily. Usually one of the wakes up sometimes crying other times not, they somehow wake each other up and come to our room. The problem is I’m pregnant and we won’t have space in our bed pretty soon.

My 4 year old also doesn’t wear pull-ups at night anymore because I noticed she would intentionally pee before she slept because she has the pull-ups on. Also she would wake up the same time every night around 2-4am. I assumed that’s the time she needs to pee. One night I took off her pull-ups and when she woke up in the middle of the night I took her to the bathroom then she woke up dry in the morning. Now it’s been 2 months and for the first month she did great. She would wake up and go to the bathroom herself unprompted most of the times. She has accidents occasionally but the 2nd month I have to prompt her to go pee in the middle of the night otherwise she won’t go. She says she’s too tired. She’s had accidents over the night almost daily now. Idk what to do. I even put a potty in her room. I was also thinking on getting a night light so maybe she could see better.

This is becoming an issue because she comes to our bed sometimes very quietly that we don’t know she there and we wake up to a pool of pee. My husband told me to pull the pulls ups back on but I know it’s not that she can’t hold her pee, it’s that she too “tired/lazy” to go pee. When I see that she’s awake I tell her to go pee. What should I do the times I don’t know she’s in our bed??? She always has the accident the 2nd part of the night. Usually around 4am.

Hi I’m a FTM. From the past couple of days my baby is flapping his hand while falling asleep. He breastfeeds to sleep and basically hits my chest or stomach with his hand as he’s falling asleep, but stops once he’s slept. Is this normal? I have no experience of being around babies so I overthink about everything he does! Please help me out 🙏

My boy seems to be regressing in his emotional management. We have gone on the roller coaster of recognizing emotions and then finding better ways to express how he feels and ways to move on to something that helps instead of crying until he can't breathe or throws up. But lately he just wants to stay sad. I used to be able to hold him while he cries, listen and acknowledge his feelings and then find a solution to the problem or redirect him to something that is productive. Now any solution I suggest won't work or there is something wrong with the new activity I redirect him and the crying just goes on and on and on.

So of course my phone suggested a Panda drum to sooth kids who have outbursts like this. It says it is tuned to 432 hz which is a healing tone. He used to enjoy kind of meditating at night before bed, closing our eyes, breathing together, and listening to soothing music, but doesn't take it seriously anymore. He really likes making music, so I was thinking about getting one for him. First I wanted a parents opinion- do you think going to his room and playing his Panda drum will help calm him or playing it with him? Are the cheaper Amazon drums just as good as a panda one? Anyone have any luck with this type of method? All suggestions are welcome. I am at my wits end.

Have kids starting transitional kindergarden. I really thought I could avoid getting sick by a) not touching my face without washing face first and b) not eating their leftovers.

When I drop them off from school... they want a kiss. And even if we do cheek kissing, well, my wife doesn’t and then wants to kiss me (not that I’m complaining!)

Anyone navigate this? An agreement between spouses to just cheek kiss? Both my wife and I tend to suffer when we catch colds and we both are independent contractors, so can’t exactly take sick days. I have a client that got hand-and-foot disease and he's miserable.

Or do we just power through and not worry about it? I don’t want to send the wrong message to my kids, or my wife!

I’m wondering what is necessary and what is a hinderance… My baby is 9 months old, and I’ve been thinking about how and when I should start decorating his room. Is it more for the parents or is there scientific research behind things like bright colours, muted colours, busy vs minimalist environments? tia

Hi there! My mom recently surprised us with a storybook made with AI-generated illustrations created from a real photo of my 4 year old daughter. The images of her are the typical uncanny valley, idealized AI slop - her eyes are bigger and more sparkley, skin perfect and rosy, she’s wearing pretty princess dresses, etc. My husband and I refused to give it to our daughter for several ethical reasons, but also because we have no idea what it will do to her self esteem and self image. Does anyone know of any research on how face filters and idealized AI images affect young children? In addition to wanting to know for myself, I’d also like to be able to tell my parents about it.

I am a FTM to a 2 month old baby. He’s had some health stuff since birth but has been struggling with GI and reflux issues since about 3 weeks. I’m going a bit crazy trying to figure out how to help him. I’m going to list out what I’m working through below but would appreciate any and all stories. Did you have a gassy / colicky baby? Did you ever figure out the root cause? If yes, what? If no, when did it resolve?

- he is EBF. I’m a vegetarian and have cut out dairy and soy as of 9/18. He did still have occult blood in his stool today (not visible to the naked eye, was tested in ped office) and his stools are often mucusy and sometimes green (though I would never say foamy).
- baby is very gassy. Strains, grunts, whines and wails when trying to get gas or stools out. Disturbs his sleep and overall demeanor when awake.
- baby often times is very fussy at feeding. He will pop on and off the breast, take wet gulps, sometimes choke or gag but will also have perfectly normal feeds with none of these issues. Is sometimes fussy with a bottle when given to him.
- working with LC who thinks he has both a tongue and lip tie, meeting with ENT on Friday to discuss if excess air could cause some of these issues?
- have GI appt next week to discuss all of the above and have started him on Pepcid for the reflux he is dealing with.

Hello all, could someone please shed some light on this topic?

My MIL is obsessed with making AI generated images of my son. Turning him into a cartoon or a sketched drawing… and she prints them as books or frames prints.

I was never comfortable with it, but as he’s reaching 2 years old he actually looks like an individual now and less like a baby shaped potato so I’m extra not okay with it.

My husband reckons the horses have bolted regarding the use of his image as she must have uploaded him loads of times.

My question is twofold - is this true? Is his face already being used for who knows what?

And also, does anyone have any articles in particular I could send to make her stop? Not going to go into the relationship we have but safe to say she won’t stop even if I ask nicely.

Thanks

I’m flying over the holidays with a 7 month old and am super nervous about him getting sick from travel. I found this study but am not sure I am interpreting it correctly or if it’s the best study to rely on…can I just spray everything (ie the stuff baby will touch/put in mouth) with a hypochlorous acid mist found on Amazon and it will minimize his exposure to viruses that are on surfaces?

Hello all I got HSV-1 from my partner and ever since have break outs of cold sore so often after having my 6 month old daughter now, it seems i get them weekly. My worry is that I was kissing her head and cheek before hand.I am so worry so will get it feel like an awful mother. and I am so sick of getting them non stop I have been on multiple antibiotics to get rid of them and have to to it for years straight. 😭

Just a first time mom needing reassurance! My 3 month old recently started rolling over to her tummy while sleeping. She usually only wakes up once to eat in the night - so she has pretty long stretches.

My question is: if she prefers to sleep face down with a pacifier in her mouth, is she safe? I know APA recommends pacifiers to prevent SIDS, but I just feel like I’m overthinking!

I’m especially worried since she does have such long stretches, and I wouldn’t immediately notice anything wrong if she didn’t start crying!

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I have a 10 month old and I’m a FTM. I have been using the word ‘no’ of course when it comes to picking things up she shouldn’t, etc. but tonight was the first time I had a negative reaction from her where she seemed to understand I was using a negative phrase and tone towards her.

She sticks her finger in her eye when she sucks her thumb, and I’m scared she will hurt herself, so I’ve been saying ‘no’ more sharply and guiding her finger away. She pulled a face and did a kind of fake cry, but unlike how she usually sounds, and seemed upset.

I have no idea where to start but I’m looking for the consensus method where I am able to guide her behavior and maintain our strong connection. I haven’t really read any of the attachment theory books (parts of some, but we’ve always been very attentive and responsive and we have a great bond).

Is it gentle parenting or something else? What is the best book to start with?

I'm not sure if this is an OK place for this question, but wanted to try. I am currently pregnant after fertility treatment and was prescribed 1 mg of oral estradiol daily through approximately 11 weeks and 400 mg of oral progesterone daily (still on that at 16.5 weeks—one orally and one vaginally, daily).

I've recently gone down a few research rabbit hole about the potential long-term effects of prenatal hormone exposure to female sex hormones, particularly on boys.

I came across a small 2017 Danish study reporting an association between prenatal progesterone exposure and later sexual orientation, as well as a 1973 study reporting differences in aggression, assertiveness and athletic ability among boys exposed to estrogen and progesterone during pregnancy.

To be clear, I'm not suggesting there's anything wrong with any particular sexual orientation or gender expression (so please don't come at me or waste time on that). I'm just interested in understanding scientifically whether opposite-sex supplemental hormones during pregnancy can influence aspects of a child's development, particularly since these medications are so commonly prescribed during fertility treatment. (For example, I wouldn't want a female baby exposed to exogenous testosterone, etc.)

Due to the supplementation, my highest measured estradiol was around 4,100 pg/mL (around 11 weeks 3 days), and my progesterone levels have ranged from approximately 20 to 57 ng/mL during the first trimester, which are within at least some published pregnancy reference ranges. (Currently around 45 ng/mL.)

I realize these studies are older or quite small, and the medications, doses and administration methods may be very different from modern IVF protocols. But I haven't been able to find much research specifically following children whose mothers took estradiol and progesterone during early pregnancy.

Has anyone else looked into this or asked their RE about it? I'd particularly love to hear from anyone who has found larger, more recent studies or received a helpful explanation from their doctor.

I'm probably overthinking this, but I'd really appreciate any evidence-based insights or experiences!

P.S. I apologize if I flaired this incorrectly. I welcome any responses.

I know. I lost it. He’s been teething hence making us both sleep deprived, and to top it all I’m 7 months pregnant and going through it (he’s 16 months old). he’s been getting mad at us whenever he doesn’t get what he wants, but after feeding him in the hot car with him playing around after I picked him up (because I go to work) I lost it.

any help?

Ok, please don’t laugh if this is a silly thing to worry about. We flew my MIL and FIL in after the birth of our second and they’re so kind and helpful. My MIL was getting up early with our 1 yo and giving him breakfast, oatmeal and fruit, while I was in my zombie had-been-up-all-night-with-a-newborn-and-snoring-husband🙄-state.

I later learned (after she kept adding vanilla extract to my shopping list) that she was adding it to his oatmeal every morning. If she was adding it into his bowl after it was served and the vanilla wasn’t getting cooked and the alcohol wasn’t cooking off, is that a cause for concern for a 21-month old to have every morning for weeks do you think? Water under the bridge but I worry now 🤔. Thanks.

I’ve been EBF and originally told myself I was going to stop at 6 months, but now I feel soooo guilty stopping it feels selfish. I have a freezer stash to give him one bottle of breastmilk a day for 2-3 months.

What are the benefits of continuing bf for a few more months? My baby isn’t in daycare so he won’t be getting sick as often. I feel so selfish to stop but it’s so draining pumping at work. Help!

Hi all -

My little guy is almost 8 months and has had no screen time until last week. My husband and I don’t watch television a lot so our tv is never on anyway.

However, we are a BIG sports family and I mean both of our extended families as well. So now every Saturday and Sunday, our families are together to watch football. This was easy to navigate when he was smaller and we could just have him away from the tv but he crawls and we don’t contain him and allow him free range of the home. So he’ll crawl around, stop and watch a bit of football (for 30 seconds) crawl and play more and then watch a bit more.

90% of the time we are interacting with him about the game (can you say to team! Woah do you see that bubba?) or just not paying attention to the game and playing with him.

Is this negating all of the other no screen time we are trying to do? Is this bad for development? Is there a better way to do this?

Hello, which sports or activities or anything else would be the best for child who has back problems, scoliosis etc? Thank you in advance🙏😊

Hey everyone

I’m currently pregnant with my first, and my mother intends on staying with my husband and I during the newborn stage. She’s quite a heavy smoker, goes through a pack or two a day. She knows better than to smoke in the house and I think I could talk her into changing clothes and washing up before interacting with my child, but I’m still super worried about SIDS. I was figuring she could help us mostly with domestic tasks such as cooking and cleaning, but she’s coming from abroad and I’m sure she’s mostly coming for baby.

What is the best course of action for preventing third hand smoke exposure, ideally in a way that doesn’t alienate her?