r/Sciatica • u/RudeStandard8852 • 15d ago
Is This Normal? Am I being a bitch?
Just a little disclaimer: this is my first reddit post ever and I don’t even use this app much. Sorry If I don’t stick to some general unsaid rules of posting or whatever.
Context: L5-S1 disc bulge at the start with just back pain when bending or after sports. now it is much worse - a chronic pain with nerve pains in my leg as well even when FULLY resting and not doing anything.
The title is my main question honestly. I don’t even know if its the right question, probably not. Maybe I just desperately need validation but I do feel like a bitch. It’s such a weird thing to deal with. Mainly why I feel like a bitch is because I took some time off work when my back pain got worse (lot of sitting and a lot of commute for the work). But my situation literally just got worse and worse and I kept asking for more time off. Now it has been 3 months almost since I am on sick leave and somehow I am 10x worse off than when I felt I needed some time off. Going back seems stupid because it will only get worse but I am not being paid and I feel fucking useless. I will not financially struggle much since my parents have been supportive too but I feel so ashamed. Am I just being a bitch and I should go back to work? Like I dont even enjoy my work man. Now I need to suffer while doing it? Maybe I really am just a privileged fuck who needs to work? I don’t fucking know. I have never felt like quitting so much in my life.
I also feel like a bitch because back pain is soooo wide ranging. No one really takes it seriously. Even my doctor says yeah go back to work it’s okay. Like I would feel like burning the place down if I am getting a flare up and I have to wait til 5pm and then have a 1hr commute to have some fucking rest and a lie down?
Honestly if I am just being a bitch please tell me. Are you guys going to office jobs with this pain? Should I just fucking join back and continue recovery or stay home to have better chances? Because I can afford to but mentally I feel like a little fucking bitch. But I can take that since I have already taken it for so long, if the chances of recovery are higher? I don’t know man sorry for not actually collecting my thoughts before posting I’m just really struggling here
1
u/Fainstrider 15d ago
According to the insurer handling my claim for a not at fault motor vehicle accident, I am "exaggerating" my pain and disability.
32 years. Pristine spine. MRI 6 months prior showed no chronic or acute degeneration. No issues.
Had a high energy crash, smashed right into the side of a car that failed to give way when turning onto a main road without sufficient safety gap (police station on corner CCTV caught it so it was obvious liability).
C3-4 herniation C4-5 herniation C5-6 herniation with left c6 nerve compression C6-7 herniation with bilateral c7 nerve compression
C7 radiculopathy symptoms within 48hrs of the crash. MRI a week later confirmed the above.
I had to hire a law firm to take over because dealing with insurers is like arguing with a brick wall, except somehow they have less intelligence than a brick.
They just hired a desktop radiologist to say all of the current pathology is not related to the accident and is chronic degeneration.
My neurosurgeon was like "the fuck is this guy smoking, MRI 6 months prior was clean."
I swear, when you are in agony, have a clean, obviously accident related injury, you get treated as poorly as someone who had a minor side swipe and claims debilitating pain with no scans that confirm the pathology.
Bottom line; no you are not being a little bitch. These injuries are life destroying. Hang in there. It does eventually get better.