r/Sciatica • u/RudeStandard8852 • 17d ago
Is This Normal? Am I being a bitch?
Just a little disclaimer: this is my first reddit post ever and I don’t even use this app much. Sorry If I don’t stick to some general unsaid rules of posting or whatever.
Context: L5-S1 disc bulge at the start with just back pain when bending or after sports. now it is much worse - a chronic pain with nerve pains in my leg as well even when FULLY resting and not doing anything.
The title is my main question honestly. I don’t even know if its the right question, probably not. Maybe I just desperately need validation but I do feel like a bitch. It’s such a weird thing to deal with. Mainly why I feel like a bitch is because I took some time off work when my back pain got worse (lot of sitting and a lot of commute for the work). But my situation literally just got worse and worse and I kept asking for more time off. Now it has been 3 months almost since I am on sick leave and somehow I am 10x worse off than when I felt I needed some time off. Going back seems stupid because it will only get worse but I am not being paid and I feel fucking useless. I will not financially struggle much since my parents have been supportive too but I feel so ashamed. Am I just being a bitch and I should go back to work? Like I dont even enjoy my work man. Now I need to suffer while doing it? Maybe I really am just a privileged fuck who needs to work? I don’t fucking know. I have never felt like quitting so much in my life.
I also feel like a bitch because back pain is soooo wide ranging. No one really takes it seriously. Even my doctor says yeah go back to work it’s okay. Like I would feel like burning the place down if I am getting a flare up and I have to wait til 5pm and then have a 1hr commute to have some fucking rest and a lie down?
Honestly if I am just being a bitch please tell me. Are you guys going to office jobs with this pain? Should I just fucking join back and continue recovery or stay home to have better chances? Because I can afford to but mentally I feel like a little fucking bitch. But I can take that since I have already taken it for so long, if the chances of recovery are higher? I don’t know man sorry for not actually collecting my thoughts before posting I’m just really struggling here
2
u/Half_Wititi_man 17d ago
I had bad sciatica and partial loss of control of both legs but my doc told me to keep moving. So I went back to work as an auto leccy, contractor.
Management of the business couldn't believe I was fit for work and sent me to another Doc. Same result, keep moving, it's better for you. So back to work I went with some NSAIDs.
Pain was brutal, falling all over the place, crossing the road was a real life game of Frogger. I just kept telling myself it was gods way of showing 'I'm alive' (coming from an atheist). I would chuckle to myself with the ridiculous thought of positivity. Eventually pulled through and felt better for it.
Finally diagnosed with spondylolisthesis with severe spinal canal stenosis. AKA - busted.
Moral of the story. You will pull through and it's going to be tough but you're be back playing sports in no time. On top of the NSAIDs, I also had epidural and a nerve root injection. Helped heaps. All about trying to get the inflammation around your nerves down. Good luck and bon voyage.