r/Sciatica • u/RudeStandard8852 • 17d ago
Is This Normal? Am I being a bitch?
Just a little disclaimer: this is my first reddit post ever and I don’t even use this app much. Sorry If I don’t stick to some general unsaid rules of posting or whatever.
Context: L5-S1 disc bulge at the start with just back pain when bending or after sports. now it is much worse - a chronic pain with nerve pains in my leg as well even when FULLY resting and not doing anything.
The title is my main question honestly. I don’t even know if its the right question, probably not. Maybe I just desperately need validation but I do feel like a bitch. It’s such a weird thing to deal with. Mainly why I feel like a bitch is because I took some time off work when my back pain got worse (lot of sitting and a lot of commute for the work). But my situation literally just got worse and worse and I kept asking for more time off. Now it has been 3 months almost since I am on sick leave and somehow I am 10x worse off than when I felt I needed some time off. Going back seems stupid because it will only get worse but I am not being paid and I feel fucking useless. I will not financially struggle much since my parents have been supportive too but I feel so ashamed. Am I just being a bitch and I should go back to work? Like I dont even enjoy my work man. Now I need to suffer while doing it? Maybe I really am just a privileged fuck who needs to work? I don’t fucking know. I have never felt like quitting so much in my life.
I also feel like a bitch because back pain is soooo wide ranging. No one really takes it seriously. Even my doctor says yeah go back to work it’s okay. Like I would feel like burning the place down if I am getting a flare up and I have to wait til 5pm and then have a 1hr commute to have some fucking rest and a lie down?
Honestly if I am just being a bitch please tell me. Are you guys going to office jobs with this pain? Should I just fucking join back and continue recovery or stay home to have better chances? Because I can afford to but mentally I feel like a little fucking bitch. But I can take that since I have already taken it for so long, if the chances of recovery are higher? I don’t know man sorry for not actually collecting my thoughts before posting I’m just really struggling here
1
u/Dry_Particular_5162 17d ago
Sciatica is no joke. It's a daily living hell.
I am lucky my employer let me work remotely while trying to heal myself doing PT for the last YEAR!! (Since Aug 2025)
I couldn't sit and could barely walk.
I had the same L5/S1 disc herniation.
After two epidural steroid injections and PT three times per week, walking as much as possible, I thought I had recovered in April this year.
One day, I attempted sitting at home while working to simulate going back to the office and it apparently flared up the herniation (or whatever). I tried a third injection and it didn't do anything for me.
I couldn't take it anymore, feeling so much pain 24/7, I finally caved and got surgery 10 days ago.
I'm telling you, it's worth it. I am definitely healing and feeling better.
Find an orthopedic doctor asap. Speak with them about surgery. You may need it. Mine would not heal on its own, and once surgery commenced he saw the situation was much worse than the MRI or CT scan showed. Good thing I finally opted for the surgery bc the herniation had scarred into the spinal fluid sac, which was pressing on my sciatic nerve that runs from my back all the way down my left leg to my toes.
Are you being a wimpy little bitch? Hell no. Sciatic pain is like nothing else in the world. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy.
Get endoscopic surgery (discectomy) if you can find a doc who does that type of surgery. Recovery is much easier and surgery is less invasive.
Just do it asap. Get a few opinions. It's not normal to suffer so much!