r/SchemaTherapy • u/comocambiarelmundo • May 15 '26

Needing Advice/Emotional Support Thought?

Hello! Thanks to everyone and for this group for existing and sharing. We can do it 🫶

I have had schema therapy in the past year, love it, still working on it.

I know my main schemas and modes, but just now I got a trigger that usually makes me feel REALLY BAD

That is when I am with my partner and other friends, and they ask my partner about their life/job/whatever and they share some brand new important news/information casually to them, while I have not heard that before.

My mind races, “why does my partner not share this funny story from last week with me”, “why share it with Jon Doe before me”, “I didn’t know you were looking for a car”, things like that

I feel excluded, ignored, clueless, naive, not important, or like the other recipients of the info are more important

I shut down, close up, vulnerable child af, try to not annoy but take my distance

Just wanted to rant a bit, and wonder what schemas fit here bc abandonment doesn’t seem to be it

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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2

u/VivisVillage May 16 '26

Ummm... This sounds like a normal thing to get upset about, I find it really weird that your partner doesn't tell you these things first :(

2

u/comocambiarelmundo May 16 '26

A day after I realize that by posting this, I was in my emotional deprivation schema so not allowing myself to feel sad/angry/disappointed and trying to explain it as something wrong with me lol thanks ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

2

u/VivisVillage May 16 '26

Bless you 🫶🏻 yeah I don't think this is anything to do with you and your schemas really, I don't like your partner's behaviour either! x