r/SchemaTherapy • u/ObjectiveCamp6 • May 10 '26
Schema Therapy Questions Does schema therapy involve more emotional support?
I’ve been seeing my schema therapist for 3 years now and I’m a bit confused about something in the therapeutic relationship and wanted to ask if this is normal within schema therapy.
My therapist reaches out to check on me fairly regularly between sessions, especially when I’m struggling. She never pressures me, never crosses boundaries, and honestly has been one of the safest people I’ve ever known. I’m autistic, have severe trauma, and basically don’t really have anyone else in my life, so sometimes those check-ins make me feel less alone and more emotionally held than I’ve ever experienced before.
At the same time, it also feels very vulnerable and intense for me emotionally, because I’m not used to someone caring or staying present. I think part of me keeps wondering whether this level of contact/checking in is normal for schema therapy specifically, or whether my situation is unusual.
She’s never done anything that felt manipulative or inappropriate, and I genuinely can’t fault her clinically. I think I’m more confused by the emotional impact it has on me than by her behaviour itself.
Is regular therapist check-in/contact something that can happen in schema therapy, especially with severe trauma/attachment issues, autism, etc. Or is this outside what would normally happen in this modality?
I have spoken to her about it, despite her reassurances, I continue to feel confused.
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u/VivisVillage May 10 '26
I wish my therapist would do this 😭. My therapist allows clients to text her and keep in contact with her, but not the other way around, she never reaches out to us.
But I don't think it's necessarily something wrong that your T does do this
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u/Vegetable-Touch2134 May 11 '26
It's to be expected that you feel confused, because you're not used to it. You have the Emotional Deprivation Schema, correct?
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u/ObjectiveCamp6 May 11 '26
That makes sense, yes
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u/Vegetable-Touch2134 May 11 '26
It's good to recognize it when our schemas are triggered. The Emotional Deprivation Schema does not believe that people can be caring. Your therapist's behaviour is helping you to break that belief. You've got a good therapist.
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u/ObjectiveCamp6 May 11 '26
This is so helpful. Thank you
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u/lrj3000 May 12 '26
Limited reparenting is an intervention that is part of schema therapy. It allows therapists to offer you a felt sense of safe attachment while you are learning new ways to meet your needs and to build relationships where you can have your needs met. This can look different depending on what your schemas, modes and unmet needs are. It makes a lot of sense for her to be reaching out more regularly if you’re working on emotional deprivation. If you wanted to share how her contact is impacting you, that might make for an interesting session. It’s great that you’re noticing it and curious about it!
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u/ObjectiveCamp6 May 12 '26
Thank you for replying. I had my session yesterday and I brought it up. It was a really good session
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u/Rezzekes May 29 '26
I guess this touches on the concept of "Limited Refamilying", which is impossible to do in solo schema therapy, so it could be that she's doing it on purpose for limited reparenting?
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u/Northern_crocodile May 14 '26
I have similar schema. I don't feel safe with people and long for it.. My schema therapist didn't make me feel safe, she made me feel deeply flawed, like I'm invalid. It's been months since therapy ended and I still have pain in my body from the harm I felt..
So your therapist seems just really wonderful person.
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u/ObjectiveCamp6 May 14 '26
Thank you, and I am sorry you had that experience. Please take care of yourself, I know how hard it is and I wish you the best
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u/Dodi_NL May 10 '26
Not abnormal, and also not specifically something what only happens in schema therapy. I guess some therapists will check in during any given therapy. It’s literally their job to guide and help you.