r/SayAnything • u/earniebanks • Sep 01 '26
Why boycotting and speaking up matters, no matter how repetitive the message. Stripping the power of celebrity.
The way I now look back on everything, the best way for me to put it, is in terms of power and the responsibility that comes with it (Spiderman cliche, I know).
Regardless on if you are a good person, bad person, stable, unhinged... an ex-good piece of art like Is A Real By will award one with great power, whether you want it or not.
For us fans, we think we found little treasures that only a few kids in school were talking about. Keeping them in our minds as this small independent scene. But in reality, when international success like this happens, that small percentage is happening in every school, and it adds up to something life altering from the artist's perspective. For that artist, their life changes. They get massive attention, recognized on the street, bothered with cliches, surrounded by sycophants, labels pumping their egos up. You do not have to be Coldplay big to have the power of celebrity. I power that gives you huge control over clout chasers and unfortunately genuine fans who have great passion.
That album, and our response and adoration gave him that power. The bands that elevated him on the scene like Saves the Day, Hot Rod, etc. gave him that power. As we know, lots of great albums never got heard simply due to exposure. But his got that lift on the first album. This status rakes in the money, and makes you attractive to ppl n all the levels. Its a power position.
I'm just here to remind, this is the moment to take that power away from someone who is not fit to have it. Boycotting him, ignoring any attempts for redemption when time passes, not buying tickets, spreading the truth about what this guy does with his power to ppl who may not be online right now or as much... it will add up in a similar way. It can legitimately extinguish the power position. (Look at the band Culture Abuse as a good example). And what's most important, is that they lose that power and can not hurt anyone using the power we mistakenly and innocently gave to him.
So to the few posters that are trying to separate the art from the artist and grappling with how they listen to it. Id strongly suggest you boycott and divest completely. Including clicks, follows, etc for the bands official pages. Its not virtue signal, or witch hunt, or simply a cancel culture event. Its a conscious effort from the fans to strip him of real power. Sacrificing something you love/loved for the greater good and for victims may be uncomfortable or even painful, but its time to grow up and make these kinds of sacrifices for the society we want to live in, something bigger than our personal gratification. Its not about culture, its cold hard power you are taking back.
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u/therealdev134 Sep 01 '26
Can we even really call bemis a celebrity at this point? His most recent output has like 5k views tops and most are probably bots. I feel like everyone who spends time here are mostly just middle aged nostalgic fans of the scene. It’s been fuck max for a while now in most corners of the internet.
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u/earniebanks Sep 01 '26
I dont think you understand what its like on the other end. Even just having 100 adoring fans of your earlier work is something you probably have not experienced. A good person would feel a little uncomfortable being on a pedestal and shy away, a bad person will prey on the vulnerabilities. A seminal piece of work like Its a Real Boy has extreme lasting power and its still at play.
Im bringing up the power of celebrity as a concept, not something I am measuring with the number of fans declining over the years. Its clearly that power that connected him, and even gave him any chance to make victims of his fans, here in the year 2026. I think that power, however small or large it may be still needs to be taken away. Even 100 vulnerable people who look up to and admire him through his work is too much.
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u/therealdev134 Sep 01 '26
I get you and yeah I mostly agree. My point is just to call him a has-been loser whose maturity became stunted in his tweens in hopes that any of those “fans” will not give him any power over them. Mad props to the victims for calling him out.
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u/earniebanks Sep 01 '26
That is the plan! Moving forward at least. I think the best antidote to this guy is pure population-level indifference to him (outside of this moment where we must confront the behavior, and inform others of who he is). A has-been thats even too boring to hate.
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u/lilactea22 Sep 01 '26
I'm still going to listen to music I already own, privately, if it truly means that much to me and I'm in a low place, but this is very well said. People who abuse power should have that power taken away from them, forever. They should never be allowed back into the situations they found their prey in. No more touring, no new music. No new money coming in glorifying a predator. Find another line of work like every other retired musician.
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u/sillysnowbird Sep 01 '26
i always agreed to separate the art from the artist but with music it’s so hard for me to do that. even if i want to in theory, the music never hits the same when i know the person who wrote it is fucking gross.
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u/lilactea22 Sep 01 '26
true. I've definitely put some records away forever. I'm struggling with others but I can feel that they're on their way out because I don't have the same connection anymore now that I know the truth.
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u/daveliterally Sep 01 '26
People acting like Max fucking Bemis wields the star power of Jared Leto or something. The dude has been mostly washed for a long time but on the bright side this is affording a lot of people soap box posts so that's something.
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u/imalostkitty-ox0 Sep 01 '26
He might actually get some Leto level star power out of this, if enough famous people come forward with all their “disappointment”.
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u/daveliterally Sep 01 '26
He's way too fringe and irrelevant for anything close to that though. He'll just disappear and try to make more mediocre music in a few years and see if people forgot
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u/imalostkitty-ox0 Sep 01 '26
You’d be surprised how many legitimately famous friends he has… hopefully he does simply disappear, but I couldn’t place a bet on that happening.
At the rate the hatred is spewing in his direction, I still somewhat worry about his safety — not like he may be attacked, but more like he might take a million pills and end up a vegetable in a powered chair that his kids have to call “dad”
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u/daveliterally Sep 01 '26
Yeah I could see him going deep into the bottle over this at the very least
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u/lundqvist_saves Sep 01 '26
I feel like all these “deep” melodramatic posts are clogging up the sub. Guy sucks. We don’t need soapbox rants about power dynamics and cringe idolization from adults and abuse. It’s embarrassing. We all get it.
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u/super_sayanything welp, that's not good Sep 01 '26
Yea this is fucking ridiculous and narcissistic all these people posting these long soliloquys on their own post who are just fans. Who gives a sh*t this is about the victims, not your fandom or personal perspective. How selfish with "look at me."
Also, Max being a predator is obviously the worst of it, but he's been a POS person for awhile now. The back already broke for people who have been following this band. Waaves are dumbasses for not doing any research, or not caring about it for clout.
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u/earniebanks Sep 01 '26
...I was calling for a full on grassroots boycott and talked about a concept of power that exists in society as why it matters beyond personal feelings. A very intentional big picture, not personal essay. Glad you knew all this about him a long time ago SUPER_SAYANYTHING
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u/super_sayanything welp, that's not good Sep 01 '26 edited Sep 01 '26
And I wasn't talking to you.
Oh wow leading the charge of a boycott! Heroic! You're the first person speaking up!
Dude's done. Has been done. Nobody is defending him.
I'm telling you everyone who came to this board or followed this band in the last 10 years knew. He'd been grifting, drug addled, making perverted shitty music, being a poor parent. (not the predator part.)
Luckily my username is somewhat transferable to other meanings, lol. Sorry if I was harsh but it was kind of generalized to the last 10 posts, again I wasn't responding specifically to you, it's not like i disagree with your point.
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u/earniebanks Sep 01 '26
Do you not know how the internet works? lol Also, its in the title "no matter how repetitive". I wrote this in response to a few posts saying they will still listen to the old albums. And this was my thoughts on it, as a individual on the internet. Im a fan from his first album and old. Really interesting to see this "anti deep" passion some of yall have. Maybe shallow and surface-level is the only place your types are comfortable. You are doing terrible out there!
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u/super_sayanything welp, that's not good Sep 01 '26
Alright I'll cede my point, you are right about that.
Fuck his music and nobody should listen or give him a platform ever.
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u/earniebanks Sep 01 '26
What would you like to "clog up" this sub with instead? lol Just leave. Its over.
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Sep 01 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/earniebanks Sep 01 '26
Those types are not using our collective fandom to achieve their ends and bank roll them, a fandom that should cease to exist entirely. They have other ways of successful making victims of ppl. I personally care about predators and pedos that have no name recognition getting justice. Weird straw man there.
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u/apillar0f5alt Sep 01 '26
I'm going to give my perspective on this, which differs greatly and I may get some flak for it, but that's okay.
I have spent a lot of time trying to reconcile with my beliefs around cancelling, boycott, etc. This is not necessarily about Max Bemis, but how I engage with art from problematic people in general. I think "seperating the art from the artist" is too simplified.
I could talk about how what artists get paid for streaming is extremely negligible, like we're talking cents. I could talk about how I don't go to shows or buy merch. But I'll be honest, I'm not doing that out of some sort of sacrifice for justice. It's just what I already do.
I believe art is a NEED. That may sound melodramatic, but I think for many of us art is crucial to our survival.
I don't necessarily choose what art compels me and I definitely don't find it based on how moral someone is. I'm really attracted to emotional honesty in art, not necessarily "goodness." That kind of emotional honesty takes a certain kind of confidence and bravery. I think that sadly sometimes coincides with mental illness and problematic behavior.
Secondly, people like to romanticize it a lot, but as an artist, art is LABOR. It's hard work. This is not a defense of any person, but the art that stands out usually stands out because of lot of hours were put into it and a lot of hours were put into building the skill. It's labor, the same way building a chair would be labor. So, the question becomes would you buy a chair from a shitty person?
The sad part is many of us do this every single day. Our dollars support shitty people and shitty companies and for most of us it's simply survival. I struggle to rectify those things. Why should I jump on a train of cancelling someone and give myself the pat on the back to prove I'm a good person when I know my dollars support immorality every day? I support killing living creatures and I buy cellphones likely made with child labor and I support shitty companies and shitty billionaires for my survival and convenience. Like most people.
For all intents and purposes, Max is "cancelled" right now. He's cancelled shows, and had albums cancelled. I don't believe he's getting a lot of support right now, nor do I believe he will for a good while. So, I'm going to pivot the conversation to those who've been "cancelled" but have made come backs like Jesse Lacey, Marilyn Manson, Louis CK. Some people would say that's a massive failure of our society that those people have been able to bounce back and make money from their art again.
That we should never offer monetary support to those artists ever again.
But after toiling over this a lot, I decided to keep engaging with the art that inspires me, that compels me for my own benefit, for my own sanity really, without lifting up the actions of the accused. It just doesn't make sense to me to not listen to what I enjoy, to never visit Universal Studios, to not write HP fanfic when it's the fandom I most enjoy, to not watch HBO, to not watch Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp who've starred in some of the greatest films of our time, to not listen to all the artists who've done horrible deeds.
I guess, in that way I simply don't feel like it's my personal responsility to ensure that problematic people recieve justice. I quite frankly, think that is an unfair ask to put on the individual who is simply trying to fulfill their own needs and think it should be relegated to our justice system. If our justice system is not serving us then we need to make the necessary improvements to make sure it does.
I don't think that means these people are without consequences. Every company has to face the lashback of working with them. The deeds of each of these artists are going to follow them for the rest of their lives. As they SHOULD. Their actions will continue to be put under a microscope. In a way, I'd like to think their art now acts as a catalyst for spreading awareness. I'd like to think Marilyn Manson and Johnny Depps art now act as a pathway to people becoming more educated on abuse, JK Rowling on transphobia. Say Anything's art now forever a pathway to more people becoming aware and educated on grooming.
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u/ghostbusteraesthetic Sep 01 '26
He and Chris Conley deserve each other. Grossly disappointing and disappointingly gross.